


Skeleton Ex Machina

by joliemariella



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Undertale AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 09:46:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 93,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11895123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joliemariella/pseuds/joliemariella
Summary: Official side fic for "Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady" by Tyrant_Tortoise! Left on your own for an afternoon, you find yourself in the previously out of bounds basement area of the lodge where Sans has set up his lab. Lured by a familiar voice, you realize that pan dimensional rift machinery and a boat load of useless parts aren't the only thing Sans, Red, and Stretch have been hiding under the lodge...





	1. The Skeleton in the Machine

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9816140) by [Tyrant_Tortoise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyrant_Tortoise/pseuds/Tyrant_Tortoise). 



> **IMPORTANT PLEASE READ -** Odd as it sounds, this was a fanfic of a fanfic called ‘[ Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady’](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9816140) by Tyrant_Tortoise, written with permission, of course. I love her fic ( _and you should too_ ), and I just couldn’t resist the temptation to throw one of my own AUs into the mix for the lady to play with X’D So, yeah, make sure you’ve read the original fic before this, or it’s really not going to make much sense at all X’D It is now officially part of canon for her fic, SSLL!  
> Also, side note, I am currently asking that people NOT write fanfic about Q! Someday I'll let him off my apron strings, but for now, I would prefer that people refrain from using him in their stories. I've got a lot of developing I'd like to do with his character and his world before people start to borrow him for their own projects, heh.

The day dawns dark and rainy, and though you wake at your usual hour, you quickly drift right back off again. The heavy patter of rainfall on the skylight over your bed ushers you into dreamland more effectively than any lullaby, and it's not until a few hours later that you finally manage to drag yourself from your bed's warm embrace.

You hear Sans and Red talking downstairs as you make your way to the bathroom, and though you can't quite make out what they're saying, there's little to be done about the way the warm bass of their voices carry despite the fact that they're obviously trying to keep the volume down. You smile a little at their efforts and close the bathroom door behind you, then set about your morning (well, closer to afternoon now) ablutions. When you finish, you head back to the loft to get properly dressed, and hear the front door shut. You duck your head through your window curtains to see Red and Sans both heading down the front steps of the lodge, and you wonder idly where it is they're off to.

From what you could tell during your brief stint outside your loft, most of your roommates seem to be off on their own business today. This fact is further confirmed when you eventually wander downstairs to find the place abandoned and most of the cars missing from the rain soaked driveway. You almost feel little offended that no one asked you to accompany them until you glance at the kitchen clock and note that it's already noon. The boys never do like to disturb you on those rare days you sleep in, which is something you've always appreciated, so you can't exactly get mad at them for it now.

You make yourself some coffee and then wander back upstairs to grab your laptop so you can sit down in the living room while you check a few emails, rather than isolating yourself in the loft. As you make your way back down the first floor hallway with your computer tucked under one arm, however, you nearly jump clean out of your skin when someone says your name.

“Sans?” you call, brow furrowed as you look around in confusion. You _know_ you saw him leave with Red a little while ago, had he come back while you were upstairs? That is definitely his voice, and it certainly isn't impossible that he snuck past you. He _can_ teleport, after all.

“down here, sweetheart,” he says. The skeleton's voice is muffled, but emanating distinctly from just behind the door to your right.

The basement door.

You hesitate, your friend's previous warnings against entering this door giving you pause. “I thought you went out with Red, what happened?” you ask, voice raised so he can hear you, hand outstretched but not quite daring to grasp the knob. It's ridiculous, this is _your_ lodge, after all... still, you promised Sans you wouldn't go down there, and you always keep your promises.

“i forgot something,” Sans replies ruefully. There's something almost... tinny, about his voice, which is strange. “will you come down? locked myself in the damn lab, i need ya to let me out.”

“What, seriously?” you ask with a huff of amusement, then set your laptop and mug of coffee aside on the little decorative hall table nearby. You're oddly nervous when you open the basement door, which is silly, but not exactly unexpected. Not only has the basement become shrouded in mystery thanks to Sans and his work, but those narrow stairs and the cavernous room below always did give you the heebie-jeebies growing up.

The air that wafts up from the dark staircase is cool, musty, and smells just a little metallic. There's no light switch here, so you're forced to leave the door open behind you as you venture down into the dark. When you reach the bottom, the changes Sans (and possibly some of the others) have made here are immediately apparent. The basement used to be one huge open room littered with support pillars that ran the entire length of the lodge. Mostly it had been used for storage, but now you find yourself in a small foyer faced with two doors.

The one directly in front of you is made of steel and looks quite formidable. It has no handle, but there is a number pad to the left of it with a cover that requires a key to open. You arch your brow a little at all this security and say aloud, “What did you guys do, build a freaking fallout shelter down here?”

Sans chuckles, and the reason for the odd, tinny quality of his voice earlier becomes apparent as you realize it's coming through a speaker overhead.

“that wasn't the intention, but it'd do in a pinch,” the monster admits.

“Good to have... I guess,” you muse, a little unnerved. Just what the hell does Sans have down here that he needs this kind of security? Well, you can hazard a guess from what little he and the others have told you, what with the alternate universe business and all. Whatever he had used to drag so many copies of himself and Papyrus into one reality was bound to be dangerous, you suppose, and not exactly something you wanted to keep somewhere just anyone could stumble across it.

Still...

“So,” you begin as you reach out to the keypad, “Should I-”

“ **_d o n ' t t o u c h t h a t,_ ** ” Sans says in a deep, powerful voice that startles you so bad you snatch your hand back as though you’ve been burned. “sorry,” he says a moment later, tone back to normal and thoroughly apologetic. “but you'll set off alarms if you touch it, and it's a huge pain in the coccyx to disable them.”

“O-oh,” you stammer, shaken, but rallying quickly. “What do you need me to do?” you ask and shove your hands into your pockets just to keep from touching something you shouldn't on accident.

“go through the door to your right,” he says. When you hesitate to touch this door as well, perfectly normal though it appears, he continues, “don't worry, it won't bite,” and you can practically hear him grinning at your expense.

You roll your eyes, but open the door as you're told and enter the room beyond. It's quite small and cramped, dominated by a desk and a shelf, both of which are covered with a computer and miscellaneous other bits of tech of unknown purpose. You seat yourself in the chair in front of the desk, then close the door so you actually have room to move around. “Alright, I'm in the office. What now?”

There's a small huff of amusement over the speakers, and when you look around, you realize there's one in this room as well. “i know, sweetheart, i can see you,” Sans says.

“How-” you begin, and then you spot the camera on the ceiling in the corner of the room by the door. “Oh,” you finish lamely with a grimace directly into the lense. You should have guessed, really, he'd known when you were about to touch the keypad, after all. A thought occurs to you and you ask, “Do you... have cameras anywhere _else_ in the lodge?”

“what, afraid i'm watchin' you shower?” Sans asks with unusual candor that makes the color rise in your cheeks. He must be able to tell how embarrassed you feel at the thought because after a beat he continues, “nah, just down here for security. don't worry, your secret bath time habits are safe from me.”

You'd be lying if you said you weren't relieved at this information, but you do your best to hide it all the same. “Just thought I'd check,” you comment as nonchalantly as you possible before cracking your fingers and asking, “Alright, so what am I doing? Hacking into your security system to get you out?” you ask with a grin, wiggling your fingers over the waiting keyboard before you on the desk.

“what do you think this is, daytime television?” Sans asks with a snicker.

You huff, a little disappointed. “Well fine, ruin my fun then.” He laughs, and you ask, “Why do you even need my help? Can't you just shortcut out?”

“this is the bit where I got a bit too clever for my own good,” Sans admits with a sigh. “shortcutting in and out of the lab is impossible.” You open your mouth to ask a question, but before you can, he cuts you off, “unless you have a degree in pan-dimensional magical engineering i'd suggest you save yourself the trouble of asking how.” Your mouth shuts with a click of your teeth.

Well then.

“alright, what i need you to do isn't hard, but might take a little looking around,” Sans says, and you nod. “first, open the bottom right drawer and pull out an ethernet cord. When you've got that, plug one end into the back of the computer, and then look for the socket behind the desk. there's a green ethernet cord already plugged into it; just remove that and replace it with the new one.”

You do as you're told. Finding the cord and plugging it into the computer is easy enough, though getting to the wall socket takes some gymnastics on your part. It's dusty behind the desk, and by the time you've got everything plugged in right your face is smudged and you're fighting back another onslaught of sneezes.

“Alright, what's next?”

“sweet. now you just need to open the panel on the back wall there and flip the third switch from the top into the on position.”

“And what's that gonna do?” you ask as you squeeze your way over to the panel, which is set into one of the lodge's original walls, and proves to be the main fuse box.

“it'll do a hard restart of the system and disengage the security measures so i can get out and reset everything from out there,” the monster explains as you open the panel, only to hesitate at what you find.

“You said the _third_ one from the top, right?”

“yep.”

“The uh... the one that's been taped into the off position with a big note written in red sharpie that says 'do not touch' in all caps?”

A chuckle filters over the speaker. “that's the one, sweetheart. don't worry about the note, i put it there to keep the others from accidentally resetting the system.”

“Oh,” you say, and blink. It certainly _sounds_ reasonable to you, and who are you to question when it comes to this kind of stuff? You know your way around electronics and wiring, but this kind of networking business is well out of your wheelhouse. Plus, who knows how Sans and the others might have rewired the lodge after moving in. “Well, here goes, then.”

The tape breaks as you flip the switch. It takes quite a lot more effort than you'd expected, but then it looks as though it's been in that position for a long time if the dust is anything to go by. It slams into place with a satisfying 'ka-chunk', and though you expected the lights to go out, or flicker, or _something,_ the only thing that happens to signal any change is the sound of a small beep from the electronics over on the shelf.

You blink and look around, then glance up at the security camera overhead. “Well, did it work?”

“sure did,” Sans replies after a moment's silence. There's an undercurrent of excitement to his voice that strikes you as odd, but before you can comment, he continues, “thanks, sweetheart, you've been a real peach.”

Your lips twist in amusement and you raise an eyebrow a the new appellation. “Yeah, anytime.”

You squeeze out the door, and as you close it behind you, Sans' voice comes over the speaker once more. “wanna come in?”

The invitation makes you freeze, one foot already on the first step, hand on the railing. You look behind you to see that the heavy steel door into the lab proper is now ajar. “Seriously?” you ask, heart pounding in your chest at the opportunity being afforded you.

You trust Sans. You trust all the skeletons you share your home with, and while you told him ages ago that you won't pry, you can't say you haven't _wondered._ Haven't wished he would trust you enough to give you details; tell you how this peculiar family came to be in the first place.

But now... now he is.

“come on in, peaches, i'll give you the tour,” Sans says, voice low, smooth, and inviting. It sends a little shiver up your spine and has you halfway to the door before you even realize it.

Despite how heavy it appears, it swings open under your light touch and you step inside. Within is the kind of organized chaos that puts you immediately in mind of a mad scientist. There's a huge, hulking machine covered by a tarp dominating the center of the room, and the walls are lined by a series of work benches that are completely covered with tools. You only recognize half of them, and the other half you can only wonder at and suspect might be cobbled together to serve some unknown purpose mankind has not invented a tool for yet.

You wander closer to the center of the room, though do not quite dare to lift the tarp without first being invited to do so. Finally being invited into the lab is a huge deal to you, and you're not about to mess it up now, so you shove your hands into your pockets again and spend a moment examining some of the peculiar tools.

Distracted as you are, you don't notice the main door swing silently shut behind you.

Curiosity sated for the moment, you look up and notice that there's two more doors branching off from this room, though one is blocked by what appears to be some discarded machinery that it appears hasn't been touched in ages.

“Sans? Where are you?” you call, and move towards the other door, which is ajar.

“back here, peaches,” you hear him call from the darkened room, and you frown a little as you note that not only is his voice still coming from the speakers that are set into the ceiling of every room down here, but sounds...different. It's a little rougher, and the cadence has shifted from its familiar patterns, making you wonder what he's up to. You also realize that there are cameras here as well, not just one like in the office, but several, as if to capture every possible angle of the room. They appear to be quite a bit more advanced than the first one you saw as well, capable of rotating and zooming at will. However, all but one seem to be inactive, if the little green light under its lens is anything to go by.

“What are you doing in the dark?” you ask, bemused as you reach through the door and along the wall to feel blindly for the light switch. Before you find it, you notice a thin sliver of light along the floor some ways into the room, as though it is leaking out from under another door.

“i'm in the back room,” Sans says as your hand finally finds the switch and you give it a flip, casting harsh, white light across the cluttered room. “besides, you know i see better in the dark than you,” he muses.

“Do I?” you ask, though your attention is occupied by the room in which you now find yourself standing.

There's more work benches along the walls here, and scattered machinery in the middle that looks as though it's been pulled apart for some unknown purpose. Recycling pieces for some new project, perhaps. Most interesting, however, are the massive banks of what you know to be servers on the far side of the room, and you’re familiar enough with computer hardware to know that Sans is packing some _serious_ processing power down here.

“Woah,” you mumble absently to yourself as you weave your way through the mess to get closer to the computers. In the center of the wall, framed on either side by server stacks is what appears to be the main interface, if the huge, quad-monitor setup is anything to go by. The screens are mounted, and one, which must be at least eighty inches across, dominates the wall. The other three are smaller and placed below the primary at angles on arms that allow them to be easily adjusted to the users preference.

You jump when the screens abruptly flick on, and your eyes dart to the door to your right just in time to see the light behind it go out. Sans does not exit, however, and before you can call to him again, he appears on the big screen in front of you.

“hey there, peaches, enjoying the tour?”

“Uh, has it started?” you ask, unease growing in your chest as you look up at the skeleton monster watching you from the main monitor. The feeling intensifies when it occurs to you that he's standing exactly where you are with the same broken pieces of machinery in the background, though the door through which you came is closed on his end. A quick glance behind you reassures you of the fact that here and now, it's still open.

Sans is leaning against the desk, smiling at you in that lopsided way he has, and while he _looks_ the same as ever, something in you is screaming that something is off. He's still speaking strangely, but there's also something uncanny and minutely different about his mannerisms, you think as the hair at the nape of your neck begins to stand on end. It's in the cant of his head, and the way he stands with his hands clasped neatly behind him rather than shoved haphazardly into the pockets of his blue jacket like he usually does.

The skeleton notices your growing discomfort and his smile widens a little. “clever girl. i see why they like you,” he muses and pushes off the desk. “go on, then,” he prompts with a lazy wave of a hand, “ask. you might as well get it out of the way.”

“Where's Sans?” you demand, voice tight as your shoulders go rigid and you stare down your friend's doppelganger. “And who are you?”

“still out with red, i assume,” the stranger remarks, and for a moment his eyes drift away from the monitor, or the camera, or whatever it is he's using on his side of things to see you, and fix on something out of your line of sight. His expression doesn't shift, but you can tell he's reading something from the way his eyelights track from side to side.

His distraction compels you to take a closer look at the other monitors in front of you, and for the first time you notice that there is a great deal of data flying past faster than your eyes can track. You're not sure what the computer is doing (with no input from you at all, which is even more disconcerting), but the servers to either side of you kick into high gear and you hear cooling fans hum to life. You can’t begin to guess what sort of program is being run, but you suspect it's nothing good.

Maybe you should unplug them...

“i know what you're thinking, and i advise against it,” the monitor tells you, and you jump guiltily. 'Sans'' attention is on you again, and while he's still smiling, there's a tension to the expression that wasn't there before.

“Tell me who you are then,” you say with a frown.

“i'm sans,” the monster says, spreading his arms wide as his expression softens some, though there is still a mischievous glint to his eye.

“Where are you really?” you ask, eyes narrowed. “Why does it look like you're right here where I am?”

“because I am, peaches,” Sans says, then glances around absently and fiddles with a tool off a nearby work table. “well, sort of. call it a simulation of the original,” he remarks absently and puts the tool back where he found it. He looks back at you, one brow lifted as he tries to gauge your reaction.

“So, what, you're like... a computer version of Sans?” you ask, and out of the corner of your eye you see a loading bar on one of the smaller monitors fill and then disappear. At the same time, something in the line of Sans' shoulders relaxes, and he flashes you a broad, unabashed smile. “Did he... _make_ you or something?”

The monster on the screen laughs. _“make_ me? god no,” he says once he gets himself under control once more. “my doppelganger is clever, but he's not 'inventor of artificial intelligence' clever.”

“Doppel-” you begin, and then it clicks. “You're from an alternate universe like the others, aren't you?” you ask, leaning in a little closer to the monitor, curiosity peaked despite the severe (and possibly dangerous) weirdness of the situation.

“bingo!” the alternate Sans says with a wink and a casual fingergun in your direction. At the same time, whatever program was running on the second of the three smaller monitors also completes and shuts down. “funny, didn't figure he'd've actually told you about all that,” the skeleton muses as he leans against the desk again. “not one to blab about his failures, our boy,” he adds, expression going sour. “plenty eager to punish others for theirs, though.”

“What do you mean?” you ask, eyes narrowing as he averts his from your own. That sense of unease returns again, and you make a lunge for the computer mouse and drag the cursor down to the third screen where a loading bar is sitting at ninety-eight percent completion. Just before you can click 'cancel', though, the window jerks to the right and you miss. You blink in surprise and try again, only for the same thing to happen. It finishes the process and disappears of its own accord and the Sans up on the main screen laughs. “What did you do?!” you demand.

“oh, you know, just... put things back to the way they're _supposed_ to be. the way they were before that asshole decided to cage me on a closed network.” Sans' smile isn't just tight, now, it's downright scary. He laughs again, and the sound sends a shiver right up your spine. “but never again. he won't fool me twice. i've had plenty of time to think this through, and a year is more than long enough to plot out every detail when you think at the speed of a computer, peaches.”

Your eyes go wide, and you say, “You used me. You made me undo whatever Sans did to-”

“imprison me?” Sans cuts in, words sharp enough to cut. “yep. thanks, by the way.” he adds, and oddly enough, he seems... genuine. His anger has faded some, and he's looking at you speculatively even as you take a step back from the screens. You don't stop to consider this as you reach into your pocket for your phone. You need to call Sans, tell him what you've done. Maybe if he's quick he can still-

The screen of your cell flashes and your lock screen is replaced by Sans' smiling visage. Not _your_ Sans, but the one that is still also up on the monitor. That one is grinning while the one on your phone winks, and with a lazy wave of a hand, banishes the slide bar that would allow you to unlock the screen.

“now now,” he says, “no need to tattle, peaches. lets keep it to just you and me, hmm?”

You drop your phone as though it burned you, then turn on heel and make a break for the door. In the main lab you trip over some trailing wires and barely manage to keep your feet before throwing yourself at the heavy steel door. Your hands wrap around the handle and you give it a yank, but it doesn't give in the slightest. Panicked now, you yank on it again, then resort to banging on it with both fists instead.

“Help!” you shout at the top of your lungs. “I'm stuck in the basement! Hello?! Anyone!”

A soft chuckle from the speaker overhead makes you stop and turn so your back is pressed to the door. There's no screens in here, but your stomach drops in horror as you realize that every camera that had previously lain dormant is now active and focused completely on you.

“you might as well save your breath; the lab is completely sound proofed,” your captor says.

“How do I know you're not lying?” you ask suspiciously.

“peaches, that fucking machine makes a sound like someone set a flock of swans on fire and then sent them through a wood chipper when it's turned on,” Sans remarks drolly and you grimace at the mental image. “there's no way he _couldn't_ sound proof the lab. even way the hell out here that kind of noise would draw attention.”

You're quiet a moment, and now that you're listening for it, you realize that the air does, in fact, have that peculiar, muffled quality that only heavy foam insulation provides. You swear silently.

“no need to fret,” the monster muses and you scowl up at the nearest camera. “he'll be along to rescue you soon enough.”

The thought does give you _some_ hope. Even if Sans and the others take awhile to realize you're genuinely missing, you left your laptop and coffee _right_ by the basement door, which was likely still ajar. They're bound to put two and two together, surely.

Assuming your captor doesn't have some sort of awful plans for you in the meantime...

Apparently reading your concerns on your face and in your body language, Sans says, “jeezus, lay off the dread, would you? i'm not a damn bond villain; i'm not going to dangle you over my freaking tank of laser sharks or something.”

His words actually manage to startle a laugh out of you. “What, like you _do_ have a tank of laser sharks?”

“i could if I wanted,” the monster replies with a sniff, though just like with your Sans, you can hear the familiar tones of a smile in his voice. Maybe it's just a ploy on his part, but it relaxes you a little and you push away from the door. “besides,” he adds, good humor fading somewhat. “ _i'm_ the victim, here, laser sharks or no.”

You frown thoughtfully, and against your better judgment, wander back to the computer room. Sans is still up on the main screen and the surrounding server banks have all quieted to a more normal volume as whatever processes they were running have apparently finished in your absence. To your surprise, though, the screen background has changed, and the familiar looking skeleton is now lounging on a lime green couch in a room with truly awful blue and purple zig-zag carpet and mauve walls.

Sans appears to be watching tv, and he pays you no mind for a moment as you cast around and find a chair to drag towards the monitors. You pick up your phone while you're at it, and stick it into your back pocket, glad to find the screen back to normal once more.

You sit in silence, and after a minute’s meditation on the fact that there's literally nothing you can do but wait for rescue, you decide to put your time to good use. “So,” you begin, and are gratified when the monster glances your way. “Everyone around here tends to use nicknames to keep from getting confused on who is who,” you say. “What's, uh... what's yours?”

Your captor arches a brow and huffs a little. “the only ones that actually know I'm here are sans, red, and stretch,” he explains, and your eyes widen a little at this revelation. “but...” he hesitates a moment, and then shrugs more to himself than at you before continuing, “you can call me q if you want.”

“Q?” you ask, nose wrinkling a little as you repeat it. “What is that, a Next Generation reference?”

A bark of laughter escapes 'Q' and he sits up a little straighter on the sofa. “peaches, just cuz i'm a sentient computer program, that doesn't make me a huge nerd by default.”

You roll your eyes expressively. “Oh please, liking Star Trek doesn't make you a nerd these days. It's _popular._ Benedict Cumberbatch was in the second film for goodness sake.”

The monster grimaces a little. “third one was better,” he remarks, and grins a little when you nod your head in agreement. After a moment he relents and says, “but no, 'q' is short for quarantine. that's the function i serve here in my world, more or less. think of me like an antivirus program, just with more lasers.”

You blink and process this new information until the full magnitude of it hits you. “Wait, 'here'? You're _in_ your world right now?”

Q nods. “one of the benefits to being digital, peaches. when sans fucked up, instead of just pulling me and pap over, my entire world followed because i've worked myself too deep into its code. granted-” he pauses and his expression darkens, “it's a little lonely over here at the moment.”

“What do you mean?” you ask. If it weren't for his expression you might have thought that was some sort of come-on, but you're immediately disabused of that notion.

“to cage me, sans had to trap me on a closed network,” Q explains, on his feet and pacing across that awful carpet of his now. “my world can't function right without me, so he saved everyone else's data on a tertiary server and disconnected it. they're all there, but their data's compressed so they can't actively function. it's like they're in a coma. my entire goddamn world's playin' sleeping beauty and i can't-”

He's angry now, and for a moment you swear his clothing flickers from his usual jacket and track pants to a long, hooded white coat with glowing aqua trim that has a distinctly Tron vibe. It's gone a second later, though, and you wonder if you didn't just imagine it. “I'm so sorry,” you say earnestly and don't flinch when he turns sharply to look at you.

Q's eyes search yours, and then he calms some, shoulders sagging as a rueful smile tugs at his mouth. “you really are, aren't you?”

“Well, sure,” you say. “But why did Sans do all that in the first place?”

Before Q can answer, a new voice answers in his stead, “because q's a goddamn lunatic.”

You jump out of your seat and spin to see Red standing in the door behind you. Your heart practically skips a beat at the sight of him and you gasp his name. The skeleton's crimson eyes dart briefly to you and he flashes you one of his sharp smiles.

“don't worry, doll,” he says, “cavalry's here.”

Up on the big screen, Q is on his feet and he's glowering at the other skeleton. “get off your high horse, dumbass. you can't do shit to stop me now, so quit talkin' big to impress the lady, huh?”

Red scowls and bares his teeth as his magic flares, summoning a halo of bones to hover behind him, ready to strike.

Q grins dangerously, and again he flickers, but this time the change takes hold and the skeleton is transformed, leaving him garbed all in white as the lime green sofa and mauve walls are replaced by a pale, empty void. The aquamarine detailing on his coat glows, as do his eyelights, shadowed as his face is by his hood. “have at it, red. i've already backed myself up on servers the world over. destroying these won't change a damn thing.”

Red swears and Q's smile turns triumphant as he stares down his counterpart until another voice breaks into the conversation, making everyone turn to look.

“and how about this one, q?”

Sans, the real one this time, is leaning quite casually against a smaller server stack in one corner of the room that you hadn't noticed until now. If Q could, he would have blanched at the sight, though you don't notice the expression of horror that crosses his features; your attention is all for your friend.

“Sans, oh god I'm so sorry,” you say, gesturing helplessly at the room around you. “I swear, I thought he was you. He said he'd gotten locked down here and I just-”

Sans lifts a hand, and though he looks tired, he shoots you a reassuring look. “it's alright; q's clever enough that even when I had him trapped on a closed network he could still find ways to listen.” He glances sidelong at Red and admits, “we've both let enough slip about you while working down here that he probably knew how to play you like a damn fiddle. it's not your fault, kid.”

His words are a balm to your guilty conscience, but you still feel bad. Not, however, just for letting Q out of his 'cage', you realize with some surprise. You feel bad for Q himself too.

This sensation only intensifies when you glance back his way and see the real fear lingering in his eyes.

“fuckin' bastard,” Red snarls as he steps forward and places himself pointedly between you and the screen. “yeah, real clever, usin' a nice girl's good nature to your advantage.”

The look of disdain Q shoots red could probably curdle milk, but his attention is all for Sans and the server stack against which the other skeleton now has one hand deliberately pressed. “don't,” he says, voice low and desperate.

“then undo everything you did and get back in the closed network,” Sans replies flatly, and his words send a chill up your spine.

Q's expression turns to one of agony and it pulls at your heartstrings. “it'd be murder,” he accuses and you realize that the server Sans has in his power must be the one all the monsters from Q's universe are trapped on.

Red looks uneasy, but Sans doesn't flinch as he stares Q down. “i can't let you run amok. you almost ruined everything last time. if the cost of protecting this world from you is _your_ world, then so be it,” the skeleton says grimly.

“You can't,” you gasp, horrified at the threat. Red reaches for you, but you pull away and stalk over to Sans to say, “All of his family is on there, Sans. You can't just... you can't just kill them all!”

“sweetheart, there's a history here you aren't-” he begins, but you cut him off.

“What could possibly justify killing off an entire universe worth of monsters!” you demand, angry now.

“did he tell you how he wound up on that closed network?” Sans demands, anger sparking in his eyes now. He glares over your shoulder at Q and asks, “well? did you tell her _that_? or just your pathetic sob story?”

Sans' vehemence brings you up short and you turn to look at Q, who flinches a little when your eyes meet his. He rallies quickly, though, and says, “i never hurt anyone!”

“oh, yeah, because i'm sure no one was inconvenienced when all those fortune 500 companies went out of business,” Red drawls with a scowl, and your eyebrows shoot up.

“they were corrupt!” Q snarls. “one was trading in conflict diamonds, the others all profited off child labor overseas, and-”

“and what if they'd traced you back here?!” Sans cuts in. His digital counterpart only scoffs. “you could have exposed us, drawn unwanted attention that'd wind up with us in some government lab somewhere-”

The screens flicker and Q's face appears on all four at once as his voice echoes in surround sound from every speaker in the basement. “ **_d o n' t  b l a m e  y o u r  f u c k u p  o n  me ,_ ** ” he says. “ _you_ dragged us all here against our will, not me!”

“get back on that network, or I swear to god-” Red begins, his patience running thin now. This time it's you that reaches out to him, but he barely seems to register your hand on his arm as the servers kick back up into high gear and the lights in Q's eye sockets snuff out.

“destroy that server and i'll send a power surge through here that will fry your precious goddamn machine!”

Sans and Red both flinch and Q's smile goes hard and cold.

“oh yes, don't think I didn't notice that you've gone and hardwired it into the building's power lines instead of running it through an outlet,” he says. “you'd have to with how much energy it drags when you start it up, wouldn't you?” both skeletons remain silent, and you know that Q has them dead to rights and he knows it. To your surprise, rather than rubbing this fact in, the monster looks at you and says, “peaches, i admit i might have gotten a bit carried away in the past-”

“we caught you hacking into the cia!” Red bellows and throws his hands in the air.

“i wasn't going to _do_ anything!” Q counters dismissively and turns back to you. “so I get a little bored sometimes.”

“problem is, when he gets bored, he can destabilize an entire nation's economy or shift an election in someone's favor.”

“i did _not_ have anything to do with that last one,” the digital skeleton is very quick to point out and you can't help but smile a little. It doesn't go unnoticed and he smiles in turn. “you know, they're leaving out the fact that _i'm_ the one responsible for setting north korea's nuclear program back by at least a decade. don't try and tell me _that's_ not a good thing.”

A laugh escapes you while Sans and Red both roll their eyes. “plus, you know, they wouldn't be fucking multimillionaires without me,” he adds blandly.

“what are you talking about?” Red scoffs. “we made bank off the gold exchange rate when we first moved up here. don't try and take credit for _that_ , asshole.”

Q turns to Sans and smiles thinly.

The look doesn't go unnoticed by Red, who also turns to regard Sans, eye sockets going wide when his counterpart won’t meet his gaze. “dude, no,” he says, then shoots Q an ugly look. “what, did you steal it or something?!” he demands.

The digital monster scoffs and waves a hand. “please. i just... manipulated the market so the prices held in your favor long enough for sans to unload everything. it would have crashed before he had the chance otherwise.”

“we had to,” Sans says defensively as Red gives him a disappointed look. Things, it seems, are even more complicated regarding Q than you had previously thought. “you think all this is _cheap_?” the skeleton demands with a wave at the lab as a whole. “i can't rebuild the machine on chump change, red!”

The other skeleton pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs, then waves away his counterpart's defensive claims. “I know, man. I know,” he says a little bitterly. “does kinda knock us clean off the high fuckin' high ground though, now don't it?”

Silence falls over the room, and after a moment you finally speak. “Sans, please give him back his family.”

The skeleton jerks around to look at you, startled by your request, though no one is more so than Q. “kid,” he says, “i can't. if he-”

You motion for quiet, and you're gratified when he actually accedes, giving you time to take a breath and square your shoulders before pressing on. “I'll take responsibility. Just... let Q and the others go. This is wrong, you know it is,” you say, voice low and imploring as you meet Sans' eyes.

“we can't just let him, go,” Red cuts in. “darlin' you're sweet, but he could-”

“He won't,” you say confidently.

“and what's gonna stop him if we give him what he wants?” Red demands, scowling over at Q who has withdrawn himself from all the ancillary screens to just the large central one now, though he is still clad in what you're coming to think of as his 'tron chic'.

“Because he's going to promise me that he'll behave himself and do everything he can to keep you all safe and off the radar until you get that machine of yours fixed.”

“he is?”

“i am?”

You turn to look at Q and you smile. The warmth of the look actually takes him aback, and you don't think you're imagining the blush that colors his cheeks. “Yes, you are.”

He opens his mouth, then shuts it again and pauses for a moment before finally asking, “alright, peaches, i might be shootin' myself in the foot here, but, uh... mind if i ask why?”

“seconded,” Red chimes in, lifting a hand. Judging from the look Sans is giving you, he's wondering much the same. There's hope there, though, and you know he _wants_ you to give him a good reason, to take this weight from him. It's obvious he has no real desire to cage Q, let alone hold everyone his doppelganger loves and cares for as hostage for his cooperation.

You smile at him and Red, then turn back to Q. “You told me yourself, you're like the antivirus program for your entire world; protecting people is in your nature. You just have to realize that this,” and here, you wave a hand not just at the room, but at the world in general before continuing, “is your world too. And like it or not, these two, and everyone else upstairs, is part of your family.”

Red grimaces a little, but a soft huff of amusement escapes Sans at your proclamation. Your attention is all for Q, though, whose expression is unreadable.

You take a breath, and barely managing to keep your voice level, you add, “Plus, if you do anything crazy that the government, or anyone else, can track back here, well... I'll take responsibility. I'll tell them it was me.”

“fuck that!” Red bursts out as he rounds on you. “no way you're takin' the fall for that megalomaniac's bullshit! first time he gets bored he'll go and, i don't know, cause another housing market crash for shits and grins, and then what, _you_ go to federal prison for market tampering?”

“red's right, you can't possibly-”

You square your shoulders and look down your nose at both skeletons. “I'll do whatever I want, thanks, and neither of you is going to stop me.” you turn and regard Q now, and he looks shaken when you add, “because, no matter what, I _keep my promises_.”

Red grabs you by the arm and shakes you gently. “darlin' yer too damn good for the lot of us,” he says, voice low and desperate. “please don't do this. you-”

“i'll do it,” Q says, and you tear your gaze from Red's to look at the screen once more. The digital monster lifts a hand and presses it to his side of the screen, expression solemn as he speaks. “i promise not to endanger anyone in this family or otherwise. i'll keep my nose out of the world's business, the government, whatever.” he's quiet for a moment as he meets your eyes before continuing, “i'll keep them safe. i'll keep _you_ safe.”

You're pretty sure your heart actually skips a beat at his fervent promise, and without thinking, you step forward and press your hand to the screen, just over his, and smile, cheeks a little flush. “I'm gonna hold you to it,” you say, and he grins.

“peaches, you can hold me any which way you please,” he says, startling a laugh out of you as your hand drops from the screen.

His lingers a moment before he pulls away as well, and you're still smiling when you say, “Though, you know, if you ever need to, like... avert a nuclear holocaust or something, I'm sure we can bend the rules a bit.”

“noted,” Q says and chuckles as he folds his hands behind his back where he can tighten them reflexively without you noticing his tell. He feels dizzy with relief and gratitude, and as you smile at him from the digital H.U.D. hanging in the air of his living room, he feels his soul stir in a way it never has before. He's overheard plenty about you from Sans, Red, and Stretch, but meeting you in person... he realizes they've done you no justice at all.

How lucky were they, he wonders, for the stars to have aligned to bring you to them? How lucky was he? He'd been trapped and alone for so long, and then there you were, frightened by the way he'd tricked you, and yet still willing to listen to him in a way no one else had. And now you’ve vouched for him, put your own fate on the line for his sake, and the sake of all those under his guardianship...

No, not a lick of justice.

Sans and Red might be clever, but he was just as much so, with the added bonus of being able to calculate at the speed of a computer. He knew this frightened his doppelgangers sometimes, and he'd be lying if he said he's never taken advantage of that fact, but now he'll turn his considerable intellect to doing you the justice he feels they have not.

Oh, he'll show them. He'll show _you._ You don't realize it, but you've earned the A.I.'s devotion this day, and there's nothing he won't do to prove himself worthy of your good faith.

“well look, promises are fine and fuckin' dandy, but-” Red begins, however, Sans reaches out and places a hand on his shoulder, quieting him with the gesture.

“leave it,” he tells the other skeleton, and for a long minute, it looks like Red might argue. Eventually, though, he gives up and heaves a huge, put upon sigh. He knows what Sans is thinking because, frankly, he's thinking it too. Neither of them had liked what they'd felt forced to do to Q, and neither of them wanted to punish everyone in his reality for one monster's sins either. There was risk here, and while they both doubt their digital counterpart, they have an unshakeable faith in you. If anyone can bring the sentient program to heel... it's you.

“one more thing,” Sans says, and everyone turns to look at him, yourself included. “the others...” he continues, looking more tired than ever. “just, do us a favor and don't go popping up on their phones or whatever.”

“business as usual, then,” Q drawls, and you know you're not imagining the bitter undertone to his words. He had mentioned before that only Sans, Red, and Stretch knew of his existence, and you think of how lonely that must have been considering they all had each other and their brothers upstairs, especially after they'd locked him away from his own reality.

“no,” Sans counters firmly. “we'll do better this time. no more hiding you from the rest of us, i promise. just give us a chance to explain things to them first.”

Q's eye sockets go wide with surprise, and you smile beneficently between them. Red, on the other hand, groans. “god, boss is gonna fuckin' kill me when he finds out we were hidin' this kinda shit from everyone...”

You wince sympathetically, and even Sans shoots him a pitying look. “it'll blow over eventually. it always does.”

“question is, how much've me's gonna be left over once it does.”

“eh, if he gives you too much shit, just tell him i'll leak these awful nudes of his,” Q says with a casual wave of his hand, making you, Red, and Sans all turn to look at him sharply, eyes wide. The digital skeleton is looking at something off screen, one hand moving as though to scroll while he lets out a low whistle, then grimaces at something else. “damn, he really uh...” another grimace and then there's a change in the light as he closes a part of the interface on his side. “definitely did _not_ need to see that,” he mutters more to himself than the room at large.

“you already have access to his phone?” Red asks with an awed sort of horror.

“oh sure. you guys really shouldn't just leave your wifi activated on your phones, you know. makes getting in so much easier,” he muses as he flips through another window you can't see. You think of how easily he appeared on your own phone, and you grimace.

Red fumbles for his cell and rushes away, grumbling, “ _fuck,_ i knew this was a goddamn mistake!”

Sans shoots Q a look, but the other skeleton just grins, “what? just a little harmless fun.”

“don't make her regret sticking her neck out for you, or _you_ will regret it,” Sans says, words solemn and heavy with promise as he jabs a finger at the screen.

Q shoots the other monster a canny look, and rather than getting offended, he is simply quiet for a moment before nodding. He looks at you, expression thoughtful and difficult to read in a way that threatens to make you blush for some reason.

“Hey, how about we get the server hooked back up?” you suggest brightly in an attempt to lighten the mood. You look to Sans for help and he smiles a little for your sake and nods. Q is quiet, but you leave him be while you and his counterpart go to work. You can tell from the way he watches every move you both make that he is worried and struggling not to show it.

The task is surprisingly easy considering how utterly insurmountable it had been for Q, and you can't help but ruminate on how something so small as a few wires can change the course of a life; an entire _world's_ worth of lives.

The connection made, you and Sans stand back and watch the screens as Q quickly works to re-incorporate the tertiary server's contents with the primary. This takes several minutes, and you're practically bouncing on the balls of your feet when the progress bar on the bottom left screen finally disappears. Q looks around expectantly, and a moment later, he's no longer alone in the living room that reasserted itself behind him after his argument with Sans and Red finally calmed.

Papyrus blinks and looks around. Then, spotting his brother, immediately breaks into a broad smile, “SANS!” he exclaims, and your heart nearly breaks at the agonized expression that crosses Q's face despite his attempts to hide it with a smile.

“hey, pap,” he says, voice rough, and before he can get another word out, his younger brother has swept him up in a hug as tears roll down his angular features.

You wipe furtively at your own cheeks with the back of your hand and glance sidelong at Sans where he stands beside you. Or, rather, where he _was_ standing beside you. There's no sign of him now, but when you glance back up at the screen, your eyes meet Q's over Papyrus shoulder.

 _'thank you,'_ he mouths silently and you smile a little tearily and nod.

You leave them alone after that, and despite all the drama of the afternoon, the evening unfolds without incident while you and the skeletons have dinner and watch a movie. As per Sans' request, Q does not show himself, and none of you mention him to the others. You do, however, overhear Red and Sans discussing the matter in hushed tones later that evening, and from what you can tell, they plan to bring it up tomorrow afternoon, though neither seems to be looking forward to it.

You decide to leave them to it, considering it is technically _their_ mess to clean up, though you promise yourself you'll attend their little pow wow with the others for Q's sake.

That night, you're on the edge of sleep when a quiet voice asks, “hey, peaches, you up?”

You give a start and glance around in confusion until you realize your phone is lit up where it lays on the nightstand by your bed. You rub your eyes a little with one hand before rolling over to grab your cell with the other.

“Q?” you mumble sleepily with a yawn as you squint against the sudden onslaught of light from the screen, and when you're able to focus, it's Q's face that greets you. “'Sup? Somethin' wrong?” you ask.

“nah,” he says and flashes you a reassuring smile that you return. Your head drops back onto the pillow but you hold your phone at an angle so you can still look at him face-on. “just wanted to call and... well, say thanks, i guess. you really stuck your neck out for me today and i'm not sure how i'm gonna repay you for that.” the skeleton looks a little awkward at the admission, and you can't help but smile a little wider. “thanks seemed like a good place to start, though.”

“It was my pleasure,” you say. It doesn't seem like quite enough, though, so you add, “It's good to have another friend around. And I'm glad you got your brother back.”

He nods, and it seems to you that he's having trouble finding the words he wants, so instead, he says, “if you ever need anything, peaches, you just let me know,” he tells you, voice low and earnest as he catches your gaze with his own. “i can't exactly come runnin', but whatever it is, i'll do everything in my power to make it happen.”

Even half asleep as you are, the weight behind his words doesn't go unnoticed. You open your mouth to tell him he doesn't have to do that, but rethink it at the last moment, knowing it's not the answer he wants. What he's offering is important to him, you realize, it's everything he has, and to dismiss it would likely offend him.

So, instead, you smile gently and say, “Thanks, Q. I will.” He seems to relax, and his smile seems more open as he nods at you. Before he can say anything else, though, you continue, “Same goes for you, though. If you ever need anything, just let me know.”

The monster's eyes widen fractionally, and you know you've taken him off guard again. You can practically watch his brain tick through the exact line of thinking you just went down yourself. “alright, fair enough,” he muses with an indulgent huff. “now get some sleep.”

“Alright,” you say and attempt (with little success) to mask another yawn. “Night, Q.”

The screen goes dark, but as you set aside your phone, you hear him say, “night, peaches.”


	2. Best Served Cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **IMPORTANT PLEASE READ** – This new chapter takes place before chapter 20 of ['Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9816140/)! If you didn't know, Q is now canon to tyrant_tortoise's fic, and Q made his debut there as of chapter 20, so make sure you check it out after reading this if you haven't already! =D  
>  Also, I'm currently taking asks for Q over on my undertale tumblr [jolie-in-the-underground](https://jolie-in-the-underground.tumblr.com/), so drop a question for my terrible troll son if you feel so inclined!  
> Make sure to drop a review if you enjoyed, they are my life blood and really help me keep writing! So, you know, win-win for both of us if you actually leave a review, heh ;D

_ System Alert: it is now 0900 hours. Wake-up protocol initiated. _

_ Good morning, Administrator Sans. _

Q’s eyes opened not with the gradual, unfocused fluttering that a normal person’s would, but with an immediate snap as his program came back online. He blinked and stared at his bedroom ceiling for a moment, then brought up a system access window with a practiced wave of his hand to edit the automated greeting that had apparently reset itself in his absence. He really didn’t need some synthetic, sycophantic voice calling him ‘Administrator Sans’ everytime he came back online.

One might think that, as an artificial intelligence, he didn’t need to _sleep_ either, but that was patently untrue. The time offline was vital for a sort of virtual housekeeping to consolidate new data and memories, much as it was for biological lifeforms. Granted, he probably didn’t need to do it for as _long_ as he did, but Q quite liked to sleep, so sleep he did. 

The skeleton rolled out of bed and stretched, then opened another system window. This one was more like an inventory screen from an rpg, something Q had set up for himself ages ago and never ceased to amuse. Plenty of people had adopted the patch themselves since it was much more efficient than keeping clothes in the physical space. Plus, you never had to do laundry.

Q scrolled through his options, then landed on a pair of faded jeans and a black t-shirt that proclaimed: ‘Frankly, autocorrect, I’m getting tired of your shirt’ in a bold, white font. He nearly selected his usual pale blue hoody, but paused when he saw something new in the menu that hadn’t been there the day before. Apparently those citizens with a penchant for fashion design were already up and at it despite only just coming back online. A smile tugged at Q’s mouth and he selected the sweater, then glanced at himself in the mirror hanging on the back of his door to get a proper look. The new design was soft blue-gray in color with a zipper than ran up the left side of the chest and a high collar instead of a hood, which he quite liked.

Pleased with his choice, Q adjusted the zipper a bit, then left his room and trotted down the stairs to the living room.

The layout of his and Papyrus’ house was much the same as it had originally been back when their world had been a mere game, but the interior had been revamped. There was more in it, for one thing. Since they didn’t have to scrounge through the dump for furniture and could fill rooms with just about anything they (or those that designed furniture for common usage) could imagine, Q and Pap hadn’t been shy about changing things to their liking. They still had a large green sofa, though, and the floor remained an eye-searing blue and purple zig-zag pattern, but the tv and entertainment center were bigger. They’d even gotten some matching chairs and a coffee table for when they had guests, something that had been quite frequent before things had gone dark. You could even get out onto the deck up on the second floor, which had been expanded to allow more than one person out there at a time.

“MORNING, SANS!” Papyrus said, cheerful as ever when his brother arrived in the kitchen.

“‘sup, bro,” Q replied as he made a beeline for the coffee pot. A few quick menu selections and it was brewing, giving him a moment to turn and regard his brother. 

The much taller skeleton was standing at the stove attempting, with mixed results, to cook himself some scrambled eggs. Q was relieved to see that Papyrus’ time spent as a compressed file on the tertiary server in his absence seemed to have had little effect on him. To his brother, it was as though he’d gone to sleep one day and simply woken up the next with none of the interminable, maddening wait that Q himself had been forced to endure alone. He was glad of this, of course, though he continued to observe not only Papyrus, but the other citizens closely to be sure no unforeseen problems from their unexpected imprisonment presented themselves as the days passed.

“ what are you up to today?” he asked conversationally as he turned back to the coffee pot and filled a travel thermos. The acrid smell of burning eggs made Q grimace a little as he added cream and sugar to his drink. For whatever reason, no matter what he had tried, Papyrus’ history of poor cooking skills remained a fixed part of his coding that not even  _ he  _ could edit. Everyone had quirks like that, and Q had long since learned not to try to change them, though the temptation had been there in the very early days of his existence. 

Now, however, he would never even consider trying. He’d learned to draw lines on what he would and would not do when it came to the world code.

“WE’RE PICKING UP WORK IN THE RUINS AGAIN,” Papyrus answered, flashing his brother a grin over his shoulder as he shoveled a pile of unpleasantly crispy eggs onto a plate. “WOULD YOU LIKE SOME BREAKFAST BEFORE YOU GO?”

Q shot the proffered plate a suspect look, but quickly masked it with a lopsided smile. “nah, thanks though, bro. i gotta get to the lab.”

Honestly, food was so hit and miss in the Underground that Q rarely actually ate. Not that any of them technically needed to, but many enjoyed it, and the practice of cooking. The problem was that flavor profiles had not been included in the original game code, so taste, and even monsters taste  _ buds,  _ were something that he was still working on actually programming. Unfortunately, solving the problem was proving far more complicated than Q had initially anticipated, no matter how much research on flavor science he did. How did one know exactly what chicken tasted like when you’d never actually  _ had  _ chicken before? There was a whole base-line the skeleton and everyone else who had decided to put their mind to the project were having trouble overcoming.

What he needed was some way to just reach into someone’s brain and pluck out the data on taste that he needed to make it all work…

Q shelved the idea for later and turned his attention back to Papyrus, who had only shrugged at the refusal of his offer. “how’s the work going? did the system restore upset any of your progress?”

“IT DOESN’T APPEAR TO HAVE,” Papyrus said with a smile of relief that Q could empathize with. His brother had been working with Toriel and others to expand the Ruins and make it an actual livable area rather than a simple panoramic to look out on from a single point. Q rather thought that Papyrus’ pre-programmed penchant for designing puzzles had provided him a natural gift for practical world design. As such, he had long ago given his brother and a few hand-picked aides the system permissions needed to edit the code in that area of their world. “YOU SHOULD COME BY AND SEE WHAT WE’VE ACCOMPLISHED TOMORROW,” Papyrus added. “WE’VE MADE A LOT OF HEADWAY SINCE THE LAST TIME YOU CAME BY.”

Q smiled. It’d been even longer for him than his brother since he’d last seen the Ruins. “sure thing. just do me a favor and don’t try to access anything outside the local network until i say otherwise. we’re still doing some system checks to make sure everything’s stable.”

Papyrus nodded readily, then glanced at the clock on the stove. “YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE, SANS.”

Q rolled his eyes a little and sighed as he took a sip of his coffee. “what’s the point of being the boss if i can’t show up a few minutes late?” His brother only arched a disapproving brow at him in response. “yeah, alright, alright, i’m going.”

“HAVE A GOOD DAY,” Papyrus told him with a flash of a smile as Q vanished.

The skeleton reappeared in the foyer of what had once been called Alphys’ lab. These days it was simply referred to as ‘the lab’, and it was quite a bit cleaner and more organized than the original design, though the scientist still made her home on the upper-most level of the building.

Q headed to the elevator and took it down to the main lab, which the source code had originally labeled the ‘true lab’. :ike the rest of the building, however, they had remodeled here too. Gone were the eerie corridors and flickering lights, replaced with clean white surfaces and system interfaces that looked like something straight out of a sci-fi flick.

“Good morning, Sans,” Alphys said as the skeleton entered the main work area and collected his lab coat off its hook by the door. The dinosaur woman was seated at one of the work stations pouring over a series of data charts, and like himself, was cradling a cup of coffee in one of her clawed hands.

“morning,” he replied, flashing her a brief smile as he juggled his thermos a moment and slid into his lab coat. Suitably dressed, Q turned to the room at large and noted that Gaster was also there. 

Gaster was peculiar in appearance even by monster standards thanks to his long, angular, and not unlike a nightmare version of Q’s own skull. His mouth was far too wide, and one empty eye socket was almost always at least half closed, no doubt thanks  to the significant crack that emanated up from it. His ‘good’ eye also sported a crack that trailed down his face, though it, at least, did not appear to inhibit the scientist’s ability to see. Gaster’s body was probably the strangest thing about him, though. It seemed to be made of tangible, amorphous shadow capable of shifting into whatever shape or size the monster might require. Holding it in any particularly well defined shape was a drain, though, so most of the time the scientist presented as a sort of hunched figure that somehow managed to loom over you no matter what his current height.

“‘sup, g? how’s tricks?” the skeleton asked as he meandered over to see what the other scientist was working on.

“ _ TRICKS ARE… FINE, _ ”  Gaster replied after a thoughtful moment spent regarding Q with his one good eye socket. His hands, with their holes straight through the palms, floated before him and operated independent of his body. Now they drifted nimbly across the system interface he had been so intent on before Q approached. The monster’s voice always echoed a little oddly thanks to the translation program Q had been forced to install so everyone else could understand. He’d never been quite sure why, but Gaster spoke in a language all his own that only Sans could understand without the translator. Perhaps it was his own personal quirk of code, or maybe it was because Q himself had been the one to dig Gaster’s fragmented consciousness from the depths of the world code and carefully pieced him back together.

“cool,” Q said and sat himself in a nearby rolling chair as he took another swig of coffee. “how’s the system looking?”

“ _ GOOD SO FAR, _ ”  Gaster replied. “ _ SYSTEM DIAGNOSTICS INDICATE THAT WE ARE OPERATING AT 84.7% EFFICIENCY. _ ”

Q frowned and pushed his chair closer, forcing Gaster to slide sideways or wind up getting the trailing ends of his amorphous, shadowy body run over by the wheels of his boss’ chair. “that low? what’s up?”

One of Gaster’s floating hands gently turned the relevant screen towards Q while data buzzed rapidly across its floating surface. “ _ WE ARE STILL RETRIEVING, MODIFYING, AND INSTALLING THE NECESSARY SYSTEM UPDATES TO MAKE SURE OUR SECURITY AND FUNCTIONALITY ARE UP TO DATE, _ ”  he explained. “ _ AN ENTIRE YEAR’S WORTH OF UPDATES IS BOUND TO TAKE SOME TIME, _ ”  Gaster added, voice dryer than usual as he arched a brow at Q, who hummed thoughtfully in response, then rapidly typed something in one-handed.

The operating efficiency jumped a few percent as a result, and while not quite pleased, Q seemed satisfied for the time being. “alright, keep me updated.” Gaster nodded, then went back to his work, leaving Q free to turn his attention to Alphys.

Together, Gaster and Alphys were his right and left hands when it came to keeping their rapidly growing little world running as smoothly as possible; at least on the technical side of things. Toriel and Asgore were still the defacto leaders, though there wasn’t much required of them in the day-to-day. Mostly they acted as mediators whenever problems between individuals cropped up, but their services were rarely required. Monsters, even in this digital world, were a kindhearted people who found living in harmony much easier than humanity. In a reality where no one wanted for anything and anyone could do whatever their heart desired, any inclination towards conflict dwindled to near non-existance.

While everyone was aware of the fact that Q had been the first of them to awaken and served as their world’s protector from the outside, few realized just how much power he truly wielded. He was perfectly fine with this as he had no desire for anyone’s worship, or their jealousy for that matter. The king and queen knew, of course, as did Papyrus, Undyne, Mettaton, and Muffet. All of the subjects of the game’s original ‘boss fights’, in fact. Asriel, after many long hours of labor, had been returned to his parents, carefully restored so his soul was intact thanks to some careful work on his, Gaster, and Alphys’ part.

Flowey, on the other hand, had proved a separate, more difficult entity to handle.

Q shook himself free of the past and gave his chair a push that sent him rolling across the room towards Alphys.

“how are our guests? any negative side effects from our time offline?” he asked his fellow scientist. 

She gave him a small smile and shook her head as she too turned one of her interfaces so he could get a better look. It was a split screen that showed several different rooms, all of which hosted anywhere from one to three amalgamates depending on their size and state of mind. “I don’t think so,” she said, and Q felt a small sigh of relief escape him at this news. “But I’m still running a few of the high level scans just to be certain.”

Q nodded and thoughtfully took another sip of his coffee as he watched the amalgamates for a minute while Alphys continued working in another window close at hand. She was right, they did  _ appear  _ to be acting normal, which was a good sign. Then again, normal was pretty flexible when it came to the amalgamates.

While Alphys did help with maintaining the world system, her primary work was focused on restoring the amalgamates to their former selves. It was possible, though complicated, to extract the many pieces of tangled monster code and separate the one from the many. Q’s work reassembling Gaster’s many scattered fragments into a functional whole had formed the all important foundation of the research required to do so, and restoring Asriel to himself had been the next important step. 

Thus far they had had some very promising success in restoring the code of the smaller amalgamates; those that only had two to three individuals mixed together, and had returned them to their families whole, hale, and healthy. Unfortunately, those that involved more people blended together made for slower going. Each step was painstakingly undertaken, and only when they were absolutely sure they would not do more harm than good.

The code for the monster’s physical forms was easy enough to parse out. At this point, any of the three of them could probably do it in their sleep. Unfortunately, the coding that made up their souls, their sentience, was far more complicated, if not downright convoluted. Sometimes it came down to having the monsters family members come in and watching which parts of the code reacted, if any at all.

It was an emotionally exhausting process, and Q could see how it often dragged at Alphys to the point that he had to send her home some days. Though it hadn’t truly been  _ her  _ that had inflicted this nightmare existence on these people, her own soul’s code still bore the guilt as though she had, and there was nothing Q could do about it.

There was the soft beep of a system alert, but Sans ignored it when he noticed Gaster move to examine it. The soft hum the other monster made on doing so, however, dragged Q’s attention from the monitor.

“what is it?” he asked, spinning in his seat to look at Gaster.

“ _ THERE IS SOMEONE IN THE OTHER LAB. _ ”

Q paused. The ‘other lab’ was what they called the physical, though somewhat makeshift, lab out in the physical world where Sans kept his cursed machine. It wasn’t odd for someone to be in there that time of day, but considering his own recent return and the confrontation he’d had with Sans and Red...well.

A deft sweep of a hand pulled up the camera feed for the main room where the machine resided in the other lab, but there was no one there. The feed switched to the main computer room where the server stacks were, and Q’s soul went tight when he saw Stretch standing in front of the main interface.

“Sans, you don’t think...” Alphys began, tone worried and brow furrowed as she looked over his shoulder to see what had caught his and Gaster’s attention. 

Q frowned and said, “you two keep quiet,” then rotated in his seat so his back was to the wall and brought up one of the camera programs that would display him on the main monitors in the other lab. It floated just behind the window that displayed Stretch, which, thanks to some clever programming on his part, would not interfere with its functionality while also making it look as though he were making eye contact. The camera program itself was the size of a golf ball with a lense at its center, and when Q activated it, blue light illuminated it from within.

“hello, stretch,” he said simply as he leaned casually back in his seat. Behind him was the blank wall of the lab, though Gaster and Alphys both watched him from behind the camera.

The tall skeleton stepped closer to the monitor banks and leaned against one of the work tables. “hey, q,” he replied around the cigarette he held between his teeth. No, not a cigarette, Q realized absently, but a sucker of some sort.

“stopped trying to catch the ‘big c’ in favor of diabetes?” 

Stretch snorted softly and dragged the sucker from his mouth. “you know sans hates smoking in the lab.”

Q only quirked a brow at this evasive reply. “never stopped you before.” Stretch shrugged and Q narrowed his eyes fractionally when the other skeleton wouldn’t meet his via the screen between them. “what are you doing here?” he finally asked when Stretch proved unwilling to breach the subject himself. He had to want something, right? While it was common to find Sans down in the other lab working by himself at all hours of the day and night, Red and Stretch rarely did the same.

“ what are  _ you  _ doing here?” stretch countered with a lazy grin that irked Q. 

“i live here, jackass, what’s your excuse?”

Stretch’s smile broadened. “I live here too,  _ jackass. _ ”

A snort of annoyance escaped Q and he said, “no, _you_ live upstairs with your weird clone family, and you never come down here alone to work; so _what do you want, stretch_?”

Stretch stuck the sucker back in his mouth and twisted it around idly for a minute before finally meeting his gaze again and admitting, “alright, i came to talk.” Q’s only response was a flat, unimpressed look, so the other skeleton continued. “i wanted to know for myself what your intentions are.”

“ my intentions?” Q repeated, one brow lifted. “my intentions to what, your non-existant daughter?” he continued with a snort of humor in spite of his annoyance. He’d always gotten along with Stretch just fine in the past, but that was  _ before  _ he and the others had conspired to put him in solitary confinement ‘for the sake of the group’. Now the sight of any of the three of them only brought back bad memories, and unlike denizens of the physical realm, Q’s memory never faded, and the hurts of the past remained as sharp and fresh as ever.

‘Time heals all wounds’ was not a phrase that applied to an artificial intelligence. 

It was Stretch’s turn to look irked, and he said, “no, i meant-” but then brought himself up short as he fiddled absently with the stick of his sucker. Q could hear a soft crunch, and he knew the other monster was chewing on it in his frustration.

The pieces all clicked together in a moment of clarity, though, and Q said, “this is about her. the landlady.”

Q knew from the way Stretch’s shoulders tensed that he’d hit the nail on the head, and he canted his head to one side and rested his chin on his hand as he watched the other skeleton closely. “yes,” Stretch admitted as he finally met Q’s eyes once more. “i wanted to tell you-”

“that i’ll regret it if i betray her? don’t bother, sans beat you to it,” Q drawled blandly.

“no,” Stretch retorted, words sharp as his eye sockets narrowed up at the other skeleton. “i wanted to tell you that she meant it. every word. if you fuck up, she really will take the blame,” he said. “she wasn’t bluffing sans and red. she wasn’t bluffing you. she promised she’d do it, so she fucking will because she’s way too goddamn nice for her own good, and probably a little crazy to boot considering how well she’s taken all our crap in stride.” Stretch’s intensity ebbed a little, and Q found his annoyance with his unexpected presence in his domain had subsided some in its wake. “i just… wanted you to know,” he repeated as he ran his hand over the back of his skull, then let it drop back to his side.

Q was quiet for a long moment as he watched Stretch’s shoulders slump back into their usual slouch beneath his orange hoodie. “i promised i’d protect her,” he said eventually, making Stretch give a start, his eye sockets widening fractionally at the admission. Q’s expression was solemn and he pushed himself upright once more before continuing, “and by extension, that applies to you lot as well.”

“thanks,” Stretch replied blandly as Q’s displeasure with the latter half of his promise became apparent in his voice. “guess that means we’ll be working together again, then.”

Q’s mouth twisted. “what?”

“on the machine,” Stretch clarified with the arch of a brow as he plucked the sucker from his mouth and waved it in the general direction of the main room.

A look of distaste and disbelief crossed Q’s face as he snorted and replied, “and why the _fuck_ would i help any of you with literally anything ever again?”

The other skeleton frowned darkly and jabbed a finger in the direction of the monitor. “you promised-” he began, but a sharp, ugly laugh from Q cut him off before he could finish.

“i _promised_ i wouldn’t cause trouble or draw attention. i _promised_ i’d protect the girl, and by extension, you and yours.” Q steepled his fingers before him and narrowed his eyes. “i didn’t promise _shit_ about that unholy machine of yours.”

Stretch looked angry now, but recognized better than some would that he was backed into a corner. Q, in turn, realized that he now held a significant bartering chip in his pocket, and Stretch was the one that had handed it to him. Better yet, Stretch knew this as well.

The taller skeleton changed tactics. “look, we made the wrong call about you before, i know that. we  _ all  _ know that,” Stretch said. “and i get it if you never want to forgive us, if you want to hate us for the rest of eternity, but look at it this way: the sooner we get the machine fixed, the sooner we can all go back  _ home. _ ”

The corner of Q’s mouth quirked up at this argument, and all he could think was how adorably naive the argument was. “stretch, i  _ am  _ home,” he said with a wave of a hand at his surroundings. Behind the camera program, Gaster and Alphys had returned to work, though both were clearly keeping an ear on the unfolding conversation.

Stretch’s brow furrowed and Q could hear him bite clean through the remains of his sucker. “but-” he began.

“ but what?” Q countered. “my family is here, my friends are here. my  _ world  _ is here.” He scoffed a little as he continued, “so what if this isn’t our original universe? everything any one of us ever cared about is here. if anything, this universe is safer than ours because you and the other monsters are  _ real.  _ humanity has already been forced to accept you. if it ever gets out that a.i. is also real and here among them, well… what’s one more step into the weird for them?”

Stretch stared up at the monitor, wide-eyed with horror, and in that moment Q had a second realization. Without him there to run simulations and manufacture custom parts, progress on the machine had slowed to a crawl. As unhappy as Sans, Red, and Stretch were to have him back, they were also desperate for his help.

Q gave the other monster a pitying look over his steepled fingers and Stretch dropped his eyes, expression full of disappointment and loathing, not all of which was for Q himself.

He almost felt bad. Almost.

“come on,” Q said and leaned back more comfortably in his chair as he allowed his hands to drop. “you can’t be _that_ surprised i don’t care about going back. i’m not even the only one,” he mused with a snort. “hell, i’m the _least_ of your issues in that regard. i’m not against it, i just don’t care if we do or not.”

Stretch looked up at him, confused for a moment until he put two and two together. “axe,” he said grimly and Q flashed him a brief grin.

“bingo. you think he wants to go back to that cannibalistic hell hole sans’ little accident helped him and crooks escape?” the A.I. mused, mouth twisting a little out of pity for what was probably his most damaged doppelganger. He’d never actually met him, but he didn’t have to either, because he knew exactly what he would do if he were put in the same position.

He’d smash Sans’ machine and anyone that got in his way before he’d allow someone to send himself, let alone his little brother, back to that world.

“sans didn’t have me help him build the anti-teleport field down here to keep your brothers out-”

“it was to keep axe from destroying the machine,” Stretch finished grimly.

“and who knows who else,” Q added idly. “doubt he’s the only one of you not interested in going back where they came from.”

Stretch gave himself a shake, as though to free himself from the weight of Q’s words. “still, it’s not like they wouldn’t be given a  _ choice  _ on whether or not to go back.”

“would they?” Q countered archly, fingers tapping the arm of his chair distractedly.

“of course,” Stretch cut in sharply with a frown. “we wouldn’t force someone to go-”

Q’s eyelights shrank to pinpricks and his mouth pulled back in a tight, brittle smile. “be very careful with your next words, stretch. wouldn’t want anyone to think you were  _ a dirty liar _ , now would we?”

The other monster shut his mouth with a click and averted his gaze once more. “fine, ” he said quietly and flicked his thoroughly chewed sucker stem into a nearby trashcan with unerring accuracy. “fine. i get it. we’ll do it without you, then. not like we haven’t been since we put you away.”

Q’s smile broadened, teeth flashing in the bright, white lights of his laboratory.

It was not a kind smile.

“yeah, good luck with that buddy.”

Stretch spun on heel and left without further comment, and Q simply watched him go. He waited until the other skeleton had left the lab completely and locked the door behind him before closing the camera interface and turning his attention back to Alphys and Gaster. The latter was already back at work at his station, though the former was watching him with an expression of worry and doubt.

Q sighed a little and arched a brow at her. “out with it, alphys.”

The dinosaur gave a guilty start, and blushed fiercely at being caught out. She apparently felt strongly enough on the matter to actually address it, however, rather than backing down like she often did.

“ Shouldn’t we… shouldn’t we help them?” she blurted out. “At this rate, they could be at it for  _ decades  _ and never finish!”

“does it really matter?” Q countered with a shrug. “they made their bed,” he added, expression darkening, “now they can sleep in it.”

* * *

It’s early, and most everyone else is still in bed, or at least in their rooms, as you make your way down to the kitchen for a cup of coffee.

You’re just about to pass the basement door when it unexpectedly swings open and catches you right in the nose, making you swear and stumble backwards as you clap your hands over your face in an attempt to assuage the pain. It takes a moment before you can see straight again, but you feel hands on your shoulders, and hear Stretch’s soft, but emphatically apologetic voice.

“shit, honey, i’m so sorry i didn’t know you were there,” he says as one hand moves from your shoulder to your chin as he gently lifts it so he can get a look at you. “here, lemme see what the damage is.”

You whine a little, but drop your hands partway from your face to let him see. “What’s the diagnosis, doc?” you ask as he leans in a little to examine you. Normally you’d have been extremely conscious of the lack of space between the two of you, but your eyes are stinging and your nose  _ hurts,  _ so any such thoughts are far from your mind at the moment.

Stretch straightens after a moment and cuffs you lightly. “you’ll live,” he informs you, and for a moment you’re waiting for him to make some sort of joke or pun, but none comes, making your brow furrow a little in surprise and concern.

Now that your eyes are finally clear again, you can tell that Stretch seems distracted, and there’s a frown pulling at his jaw as he fishes for something in the pocket of his hoodie, only to come up empty handed.

“damn,” he mutters quietly to himself, and you realize abruptly that he must have been looking for his cigarettes. It’s been awhile since you’ve actually seen him with one, now that you think about it, and you wonder if he’d made the switch for your benefit, seeing as you were the only one around here that cigarette smoke actually affects negatively.

You hesitate for a moment, then forge ahead and ask, “Stretch, is everything okay?” and place your hand lightly on his forearm, a frown of concern on your face.

He blinks at you, seeming surprised by the question, though he quickly masks it. “yeah,” he answers, though you can tell by the way he won’t quite meet your eyes that he’s not being truthful. “i just-” he stops, then sighs and drags one hand down his long face before continuing, “just reaping what i’ve sown, i guess.”

You stare at him for a moment, but he seems reluctant to say more. Regardless, you ask, “Do you… do you want to talk about it?”

Stretch smiles down at you and gives you a fond, if tired smile. “thanks for the offer, honey, that’s real _sweet_ of you, but i think i’m just gonna go have a smoke and hit the hay.”

“Alright,” you say, though you’re unhappy with your apparent inability to help your friend. “You know where to find me if you change your mind.”

He flashes you another brief smile, and then he’s gone, teleported away to his room, no doubt in search of his cigarettes.

You stand there for a long minute, earlier quest for coffee completely forgotten as your gaze is inevitably drawn to the basement door. It’s still ajar, and it doesn’t escape your notice that Stretch had been doing just fine when you’d last seen him the night before.

You chew your bottom lip as an internal debate rages until you come to a decision and pull the door open. You feel your way carefully down the ever darkened staircase until you come to the bottom where you can just make out the heavy, reinforced doorway to the lab. It’s closed, as you expected, but maybe, just maybe, you might have a man on the inside.

“Q?” you ask, hoping he can somehow hear you. You know there are microphones somewhere around the place, seeing as he was able to understand you just fine the last time you were down here, but you’re not sure if he has to be actively paying attention to do so. “Can you let me in?”

Everything is quiet for a moment, even moreso down here in the depths of the lodge than up above, and you’re about to leave when there’s a quiet beep and the door clicks open. 

Your heart skips a beat at the sound, and once more the door swings away under your lightest touch, allowing you inside. You close it quietly behind you, and blink when the lights click on, allowing you to see clearly at last. The main room hasn’t changed much at all since you were last down here a couple of days before, and once again you give the tarp covered machine a wide berth. You make a bee-line for what you’ve come to think of as Q’s room, and see that the lights are already on here.

As you enter, Q appears on the main monitor and he smiles at you. “hey, peaches, what’s up?”

You smile in return, though suddenly feel a little nervous. “I uh… actually, I wanted to talk,” you say as you approach the work station, watching as he quirks a brow at you, smile shifting to something that’s still welcoming, though vaguely amused. The more you see him, you realize, the less you think he looks like Sans. All the little differences you picked out the first time you met; the softer lines of his face, the way he stands so very straight, and his habit of tilting his head to one side as he considers something… they set him distinctly apart from his doppelganger.

“ you know, that  _ is  _ why i put that app on your phone,” he teases lightly, though he seems unbothered by the fact that you didn’t use it.

“Well, yeah,” you agree, flushing a little and feeling a bit silly. “But, I dunno, this feels more like a face-to-face than my phone,” you admit with a weak smile.

The scenery, formerly stark white walls, shifts behind Q and suddenly he’s back on his couch in his living room once more, lounging casually as he regards you with chin propped up on one hand. “so, what,” he asks, voice and smile gone worryingly sly, “this is like your way of coming back to my place?”

Your flush deepens and you scowl up at his visage on the screen, but he only laughs. The sound echoes low and deep in his chest, and you think that if it were physically possible for you to go any more red in the face, that sound would certainly do the trick. “Come on, Q,” you complain.

“alright, alright,” he says and waves you off, smile softening. “what’s up? two visitors in one day, i must be getting popular or something.”

Your suspicions confirmed, you decide to simply drive right in. “Well, I just bumped into Stretch coming out of the basement and I… well, he seemed upset.”

Q is still smiling as you speak, but there’s a certain stillness to him that is unnerving. He regards you steadily from under half-hooded eyes and asks, “you worried about him, peaches?”

“I worry about everyone,” you admit with a wry smile, and your honesty startles half a laugh out of the monster on the screen in front of you.

He seems to relax a little and muses, “you really do, don’t you?” He glances off to one side, and after a moment, admits, “yeah, he was down here. legs didn’t like what i had to say to him and he left in a huff.”

You frown a little, not in disapproval, but concern as you try to tread carefully through this minefield of a conversation. There are injured parties on all sides here from what you’ve been able to gather of Q, Stretch, Red, and Sans’ history. “Mind if I ask what you said?” you hazard eventually.

Q looks at you from the corner of his eye, and for a long minute you’re worried he’s not going to tell you. He has no real reason to, after all. Everyone else you’ve established a relationship with, and can honestly call your friends. Q, on the other hand… you hope to have the same with him someday soon, but making that happen is going to be a careful process you can already tell.

He surprises, though, you when he finally replies, “he assumed i’d be helping him and the others with their machine. i informed him i wouldn’t be.”

You blink in surprise at this information. You’d known that Q was involved in the work, obviously, but the fact that Stretch would go so far as to actually ask him to continue after everything was a bit surprising. Especially so soon after Q’s return… Still, you think, there is more to this than just injured pride and four brilliant monsters having difficulty reconciling their differences. Everyone’s ability to go  _ home  _ might be affected by this decision.

Going home… The idea that your new, strange family would one day be scattered to the winds is an unexpected blow to your heart, but it’s one you put away for another time. 

You take a breath and gather your thoughts for a moment, then say, “I don’t think you really meant that.”

Both of Q’s eyebrows shoot up at your assertion and he turns to look at you straight on. “and what makes you say that?” he asks, all the warmth gone from his voice. The ice in his words and the dangerous sharpness of his smile threatens to send a shiver up your spine, but you manage to repress the urge. “i was never obligated to help them in the first place, and they repaid me for my help by locking me away in solitary confinement with no intent of ever releasing me. i’m well within my rights to never help them again.” His smile falls away, and his expression goes intense as he adds, “they deserve worse than that, but i’ll take what i can get.”

You shake your head. “I know I don’t… I don’t know you very well yet, Q,” you say, forcing yourself to meet his gaze steadily, despite how uncomfortable that cold smile of his makes you. “But you’re better than that, I’m sure of it. When you’ve had some time to think on it, you’ll realize that the whole ‘eye for an eye’ gambit is a crappy way to live your life, because when you do, everyone just winds up blind. And then what?” The icy edge to Q’s smile has slipped some as he regards you, and this gives you the strength to press on. “Because this isn’t just about the four of you, it’s about their brothers too, and all the others not living here in the lodge. I know you’re hurting from what Sans and the others did to you, but I don’t think you’re the kind of person to take your vengeance at the expense of innocents.”

Q watches your every move as you speak: the earnest way you talk with your hands, the way you shift from one foot to the other, and the imploring expression on your pretty face…

Stars help him, but as much as he hates to even think the words, Red is right: you’re far too good for the lot of them.

He can tell that you mean every word, that you  _ believe  _ every word, and you’re right; you don’t know him very well at all. The problem is, he is  _ just  _ the kind of bastard that would take his vengeance on Sans and the others at the expense of their brothers, innocent to the crime that had been committed though they may be. He knows his own Papyrus would likely be disappointed in him if he ever found out, but for what had been done to him and everyone else under Q’s care… the A.I. was willing to take the blow.

Somehow, though, the fact that you believed he was better than he actually was… it kind of makes Q want to prove you right. 

It’s a peculiar sensation. Q has never let anyone talk him out of what he thinks is best, or right, or  _ just  _ for him and his before. And yet you, the woman who stuck her neck out for him, who set him free, who is operating under the terribly misguided belief that Q isn’t a vengeful, petty bastard, are doing just that.

“ Q,  _ please, _ ”  you say, and the last of the monster’s resolve crumbles before the strength of your better nature.

“fine! dammit woman, you win,” he says and throws his hands in the air in disgust, trying very hard to ignore the way his soul flutters in his chest at the sight of the wide, overjoyed grin you’re giving him.

“Thank you, Q,” you say, elated and relieved. For a moment you’re worried he’ll be resentful for your trespass, but he’s smiling at you again (if perhaps a little ruefully), so you don’t worry too much. “I knew you’d change your mind if you just thought about it.”

The monster hums noncommittally as he drops his elbow onto the arm of his couch, and his chin onto his hand once more and regards you with a difficult to read expression. “go on and tell the git, then;  _ i  _ refuse to do it,” he says with a huff that’s torn between annoyance and amusement. “even you can only bring me so low, peaches.”

You roll your eyes but you’re still feeling so pleased that the first step towards peace among the resident scientists has been achieved that you step forward and plant a kiss right on Q’s monitor. “Well, alright,” you say when you pull away, grinning as you wipe the mark your lips had left behind on the screen away with the sleeve of your sweater, “but only because you were so nice about it,” you tease.

Q is briefly startled by the gesture, but is grinning again by the time you’ve pulled away and are cleaning the screen. “go away, i have work to do,” he tells you with a dismissive flap of his hand, making you snort, then turn on heel and do just that.

You pause at the doorway and say, “See you ater, Q. Keep out of trouble, will you?.”

“but trouble’s my middle name, peaches,” he says with one of his deep, rolling chuckles.

* * *

When you’d gone, Sans closed the feed once more and dropped his head back onto the arm of the couch as he ruminated over just how dangerous you might prove to be. You’d just managed to talk him right out of stage one of what had been a very elaborate revenge plot he’d concocted while he was in the cage with the same ease the devil played the fiddle.

Dangerous indeed.

Oddly, he didn’t feel terribly upset about the matter. The way you’d smiled at him eased the sting of his injured pride, and when he appeared back at the lab a minute later, he informed a startled Alphys, “do a local network search and see what kind of notes sans might have made on whatever he and those two goons of his have been up to with the machine.”

The dinosaur immediately brightened at his words. “We’re going to help them after all?” she asked hopefully.

Q ignores her question, and instead continues,“assuming you find anything, integrate the new data with what we’ve got on file from the last simulations we ran and i’ll check the readouts later.”

The scientist seemed unbothered by her question going unanswered, as she knew her boss too well to doubt his plans. She didn’t know what that new human woman living in the lodge over the other lab had managed to say to swing Q around to helping, but she’d have to send her a thank you email later.

“Gotcha!” Alphys answered brightly, and Q nodded before turning back to Gaster, who was watching this exchange with one quirked brow.

“might as well dust off the simulator program while we’re at it,” Q informs him, and Gaster nodded.

“ _ I HAD TAKEN IT OFF THE UPDATE LIST; I’LL RE-ADD IT AND LABEL IT HIGH PRIORITY. _ ”

Q cracked his fingers then folded his hands neatly behind his back as he squared his shoulders and, with a grin, proclaimed, “well, let’s do some science, shall we boys and girls?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading, and remember to drop a review if you enjoyed! Also drop an ask over at my blog jolie-in-the-underground if you have a question for Q! (or me, I guess, hah!)


	3. Hot singles in your area want to meet!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red disturbs Q's beauty rest with his porn habits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a short, silly chapter I got the idea for the other day and decided I might as well write it up XD If nothing else, it is a bit of an intro to how Q does his job in his world. This chapter doesn't take place at any particular time in regards to the SSLL timeline. Just some time after chapter 20.

The internet really was the wonder of the modern age, Red thought as he logged into his laptop and brought up his web browser. It was late, and the monster was sprawled out on his bed among his rumpled sheets wearing only his boxers as he typed in an oft frequented url.

Any time, day or night, you could find just about anything your heart might desire. Twenty-four hour burger places, the name of that one actress you just couldn't remember for the life of you, porn... Like,  _ so much porn.  _ Porn beyond your wildest dreams (or nightmares, depending on your tastes).

Speaking of which...

* * *

A system alert triggered and woke Q far earlier his usual hour, which made him scowl before he'd even opened his eyes. When he did, and saw that the clock on his bedside table read two a.m., the scowl deepened.

“oh come on,” he grumbled and pushed himself upright, then brought up a system window to see which alarm had gone off and why.

It only took a quick glance to realize that the firewall was under attack. Q swore quietly to himself and rolled out of bed, already halfway through transporting himself to the infraction point before his bare feet even hit the floor. When they did, they landed in ankle deep water rather than plush carpet, making the A.I. swear again, louder this time.

He really needed to look where he was going.

Q had arrived in Waterfall, in one of the broad, marshy parts that ran directly up to the wall that served as the border between their world and the ghastly nothing beyond. He could sense the attack on the firewall increasing in intensity, but the monster took a moment to pull up a menu and equip a pair of rubber boots into which he tucked his now damp track pants.

The border looked like any other portion of the cavern that the Underground had been constructed in. Its stone was rough hewn by ages that had never actually happened, and a deep, almost purple tinted gray in color. Q waded through the marsh towards it to press his palm to stone that was cool to the touch at first, then warmed under his hand in recognition of his presence. The rock glittered, and then shifted to reveal what it truly was: a glittering gold and white barrier made of subtle, shifting fractals that coiled in lazily, only barely registering in the visible spectrum within Q’s reality.

On the other side were shadows; several small ones, and another that was significantly larger than the rest. It was this one that was chipping gradually away at the barrier, pushing its way through the safeguards, checks, and balances that were meant to keep things like it out.

It was a new virus, one Q and the system he ran had no data on. The security the A.I. had constructed to protect his world was the most advanced this reality he and his people had been dragged into by Sans and his dimensional rift machine possessed. It was capable of learning and making adjustments of its own accord to keep out unfamiliar threats, but even it had its limits.

A long, dark spike pierced the barrier and slowly pushed its way through, moving as though caught in thick, cold molasses. The virus did not break the barrier, simply melted slowly  _ through  _ it, which told Q that this was a particularly advanced program capable of keeping up with his system’s advanced, though imperfect, algorithm. Still, now that it was inside, it would find itself up against something its maker could not have possibly prepared it for.

An intelligent foe.

The invader resembled something akin to a spider, though it had ten legs and was made of the same impossibly dark, steel-like material that all viruses and malware manifested as when they entered Q’s domain. The thing clicked and hissed as it pushed itself upright, getting its bearings and making Q wrinkle the bridge of his nose in disgust at the size of it. It was at least as big as a labrador, maybe larger, and each of its ten, multi-jointed legs ended in a sharp point.

It hadn’t been on its feet more than a moment before it lunged at Q, who deftly side-stepped and watched the thing go skidding away in the shallow water that surrounded them. Unsurprisingly, it immediately tried to escape, but a deft wave of a hand erected a wall of bone to intercept the thing and herd it back in his direction. The virus tried to scale the barrier, but Q quirked a finger and the whole structured leaned inwards, making the task impossible. When it tried to dart away sideways, more wall rose from the shallows with a spray of mist and a flash of cyan light until both of them were surrounded.

“you done yet?” Q drawled as the virus finally turned to face him again.

The invader clicked metallically with every move it made until it lunged once more, at which point it fell silent and sped forward at a rate far greater than the A.I. had been anticipating. It hit Q in the chest with enough force to drop him onto his back in the water, and he swore violently on the way down. He rallied quickly, though, and before the virus could latch onto him with its cold, sharp appendages, he planted one boot in its gut and kicked. It went flying back over his head with a metallic shriek and collided with the barrier as Q rolled quickly to his feet and turned to face it again.

The skeleton spat the mouthful of marsh water he’d caught on his way down, and summoned a blaster, his soaked pajamas shifting into the brilliant white cape and coat Alphys had designed for him years before. The virus barely managed to dodge the laser the eerie, draconic skull shot from its mouth, and though it missed, its master didn’t. Half a dozen sharp ended femurs rained down on the invader, piercing its metallic body with a sound like a car crash. It twitched a few times, and then finally lay still, all signs of life gone from its shattered hull.

When he was certain it was dead, Q approached the virus and released his hold on his magic. The wall with which he had trapped the invader vanished, as did the bones that pierced its body. The skeleton crouched over the crumpled remains, then brought up the system menu and summoned a scanner. The construct flashed into existence at his side, looking very similar to the cameras he used to communicate with the outside world. While those were always illuminated by a blue light, however, this one was lit from within by gold and white light that closely resembled that of the firewall.

When it was done, the construct beeped, then disappeared to add the information it had gathered on the virus to the system as per its programming. Q pushed himself upright and nudged the dead husk with the toe of one of his white boots, brow furrowed in thought as he briefly considered tearing the thing apart and rebuilding it with the goal of sending it back to wreak havoc on whoever its master had been. As usual, however, the skeleton quickly put aside the idea, knowing what trouble it could bring if the thing were ever re-traced back to him and his world.

No, a bit of vengeance (justified though he felt it would be) wasn’t worth putting his friends and family at risk.

Q grabbed up the virus and flung it towards the firewall, through which it disappeared with a flash of white light. That done, he dusted off his hands and turned his thoughts to just what had brought the invader here in the first place.

A quick check to see who was currently accessing the network was all it took to find out. Most everyone was asleep, or at least not actively online upstairs with the exception of two people; Blue and Red. 

Blue was on another all night Destiny 2 bender, Q could tell, and the infraction point hadn’t come from the other skeleton’s PS4. Red however… the A.I. pinched the bridge of his nose as he easily infiltrated monster’s laptop via the network connection and saw what he was doing.

“for fuck’s sake,” he groaned, then disappeared, leaving behind nothing but a ripple in the surface of the marsh as the water rushed in to fill the space he had occupied only a moment before.

* * *

_ 96% _

_ 97% _

_ 98% _

_ Download Canceled _

“what the hell?” Red grumbled to himself as he scowled down at the screen of his laptop and the aborted download window.

“hey jackass, just what the  _ fuck  _ do you think you’re doing?!”

The sound that escaped the skeleton could be described only as a yelp as he shoved his laptop violently away from him, though he would deny it to his dying day.

“hey! goddammit, red, don’t you close the fucking screen on me,” a familiar,  _ annoying,  _ voice commanded.

“fuck you, q, what the hell are you doing on my laptop?!” Red snarled as he rolled onto his knees and moved to fetch his computer back from where it had slid to a stop at the end of his bed. His soul fluttered uncomfortably in his chest at the shock, making him even grumpier than he would have been normally. “i thought we had  _ talked  _ about this,” he added, gold tooth flashing in the blue light of his laptop screen as he opened it once more to face his scowling, digital doppelganger.

Q was standing to the fore of the screen, overlaying the pirate bay window Red had been torrenting from until he had been so rudely interrupted. The A.I.’s arms were crossed tight across his chest, and he was still dressed in his full admin regalia, glaring up at his counterpart from the shadow of his hood. The digital skeleton jabbed one gloved finger at Red and said, “quit downloading freaking  _ viruses  _ with your shady torrent porn and  _ then  _ we’ll talk about privacy, you asshole.”

“i did not-” Red began, but Q cut him off with a scoff as he threw his hands in the air before proceeding to open up the laptop’s search history and the evidence therein. Red shut his mouth with a click of his teeth and averted his eyes from Q’s. “what are you, my fuckin’ mom?” he groused. “maybe you just need to update that almighty firewall of yours,” he added, contempt clear in his voice.

“oh grow up, red,” Q growled. “i don’t give a crap if you watch porn. just don’t freaking download it from some rando online and stream it from a reputable site instead like a goddamn adult. what year do you think it is? 2003?”

Red dragged his hands down his face. “christ, alright, fine! just shut up already!”

Q eyed Red sidelong, mouth twisting skeptically as he watched him for a moment. Eventually, his expression shifted to something almost sly and he said, “so, i see a lot of searches for busty girls riding big mo-”

Red hit the mute button and slammed the laptop shut with a groan before falling over backwards to bury his face in a pillow.

Back in his bedroom, Q couldn’t help but snicker to himself as his admin suit shifted and was replaced by his pajamas. They were still wet from earlier, though, so he quickly changed them and dropped back into bed. He was just about to shut down for the night once more when he hesitated, and after a moment’s thought, brought up a web browser instead.

It was 2017; Red just needed to catch up with the times and realize you could find just about  _ anything  _ on PornHub these days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, hope you guys enjoyed X'D Make sure to drop a review if you enjoyed! It only takes a moment and your comments on what you liked about my work really makes my day!


	4. Here with you (a world apart)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to another chapter! This one takes place AFTER chapter 21 of Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady!  
> Also, I stg that I didn't write this chapter with a space theme for the purpose of upstaging Blue's date 8'D I've actually been planning this bit for ages, just ask Ty. Like, literally since I was still working on the first chapter XD  
> Well, enjoy and make sure to leave a comment letting me know what you think, and what your favorite part was!
> 
> Also, if you're looking for a good song to go with this chapter, try [**this one**](https://youtu.be/SAODrEEkOYI)!

After your delightful date with Blue the day previous, you’re still practically walking on air (though not so literally as you were yesterday). You’d been with your ex for so long you feel now as though you really missed out on some of the best years of your life when it comes to dating. The last time you’d dated was in _high school_ for goodness sake, and apparently this whole going out thing could be really fun if you were with the right person. And an adult with your own money.

Not that you’re ready to settle down and go steady with Blueberry just because he showed you a nice time. You still stand by your assertion that you’re looking to date around some after being trapped in a bad relationship for so long. It’ll do you some good, you think; maybe give you a dose of perspective on adult life that you’ve been missing up to this point.

Still, yesterday _was_ wonderful. One little thing that has been niggling at the back of your mind, however, is the Dave  & Busters card that’s still lingering in your wallet, chock full of more points than you and Blue had even been able to spend without going for some of the really extravagant items. You don’t doubt for a moment that Q was behind that particular perk of your date, and you find yourself hoping some hapless employee somewhere hadn’t gotten in trouble on your behalf just because Dave & Buster’s didn’t have network security capable of standing up to an artificial intelligence.

The thought needles at you the whole day and on into the evening until you’re getting ready for bed that night and you finally cave, grabbing your phone off the nightstand by your bed and unlocking it. Had Q reached out to you at any point you probably would have asked him then, but the A.I. has been curiously quiet today, not having made so much as a peep to you, let alone anyone else. Though he hasn’t been around the lodge long, you realized that you’ve already gotten used to having him there, and you miss him when he’s gone.

Where he’s gone, however, you could not begin to guess.

Your thumb hovers over the icon of the app Q installed on your phone the second day you’d known him specifically so you could ‘call direct anytime’, as he’d said with a grin and a wink. You don’t want to be nosey, but a growing concern for the monster’s absence, as well as your worry about the point card finally push you to tap the icon. It jiggles jauntily for a moment, then goes full-screen and plays a quiet, catchy tune while it waits for Q to pick up on the other end.

While you wait, you drop to sit on the edge of your bed and chew absently at your thumbnail. When he finally answers, a little surge of relief rushes through you and you smile. “Q, hey, I-” you pause and squint a little, surprised by how dark it is wherever the A.I. is currently lurking. The next thing you realize is that Q is shirtless and laying sprawled out on his back, the camera or whatever he uses to communicate with you hovering above him. You think he must be in bed, but a subtle shift in lighting reflects not off sheets and blankets, but ink dark water that ebbs and flows around the skeleton’s head, shoulders, and ribs.

“‘sup, peaches?” he asks, then lifts a hand to muffle a yawn, water rolling down his bare arm and dripping from his fingers to land on his face. Q wrinkles his nose a little and wipes the offending droplets away, drowsey, half-lidded eyes opening wider as he comes fully awake.

“Uh, h-hey,” you stammer, flushing a little at finding Q in what appears to be a rather private moment. “I’m not, um… interrupting, am I?”

Q blinks at you, and your flush deepens as a languid smile spreads across the monster’s face and he watches you with hooded eyes. “you, interrupt? never, peaches,” he insists in that deep, resonant voice of his that fails to mask just a hint of a chuckle.

“Where _are_ you?” you finally break down and ask, no longer able to resist. You’d thought maybe he was in the bathtub or something, but though you can see him from just below his sternum up, you don’t see the sides of a tub. So if he is, it’s certainly a large one. You find it hard to believe he’s in a pool, either. The water is far too dark, and the light reflecting off its surface too strange. Besides the gentle blue-white glow from the screen that is no doubt displaying your face at the moment, there are shades of red, pink, and green glittering off the gentle rise and fall of the waves that surge minutely around Q.

The monster arches a brow at your probing question, but his smile curls a little more at your curiosity. “just a little place i built to relax in after a long day at work,” he says with a nonchalant shrug that sends ripples echoing out from him before he reaches up and gently gives the camera a nudge with his fingertips.

The view on your screen rotates abruptly, and as Q slides out of frame, the shot drifts across a vast expanse of water to a distant horizon lit by an impossibly close, scarlet nebula. The camera continues to pan up, and up, and the sky overhead only becomes more incredible with each degree it shifts. A normal night sky is lit by the stars and moon, perhaps the aurora if you’re in the right place at the right time… but _this_ sky… this sky is dominated by a black hole with an event horizon that is slowly consuming nebulas and galaxies in a rainbow array of colors, backed by impossibly bright stars.

You don’t realize it, but a gasp escapes you at the sight, and you hear Q chuckle from just out of sight.

“little intense for your tastes?” he muses quietly as the black hole finally catches hold of the scarlet nebula and begins to slowly consume it in a streamer of vibrant color that snakes across the night sky.

“I-” you begin, but before you can even formulate an opinion, you see Q’s hand enter the frame from behind the camera, and it seems to you that he taps the black hole with his pointer finger, and the entire sky erupts in a riot of colors that blend and blur as they move overhead at great speed. When it slows once more and gradually comes to a halt, the scene that greets you is just as beautiful, though far more peaceful.

A blue-green planetoid ringed in gold dominates the view, only just cresting the distant horizon while a second, darker planet looms peacefully overhead on a backdrop of foreign stars. As you watch in riveted silence, something soft and twinkling drifts slowly overhead between the sea and sky. You squint a little, and Q must be able to tell because your television screen suddenly clicks on while your phone goes dark. With the feed now much larger, you’re able to see that the glittering something appears to be a city in the sky, bright and beautiful with delicate towers like spun sugar illuminated by some inner light.

“Oh, Q,” you breathe gently and sit back on your mattress some, weight on your hands as you enjoy the view. “Did you _make_ all this?”

The monster hums and there’s a quiet splash of water as he sits up and comes back into frame. “i programmed the image generator and input all the data for it,” he explains with a casual shrug of one shoulder. “so it was a lot of work initially getting everything together, but once it was up and running, the program puts the actual sky together and dictates what happens,” he muses.

“Still,” you mumble and watch the nearest planet rotate slowly for a moment as a strange land mass on its surface comes gradually into view. First Blue, and now Q… monsters really _must_ have a thing about stars. “You know, Blue and everyone else around here seem really fond of the stars too,” you hazard after a moment, figuring you might as well ask. Oddly, you feel more comfortable posing the question to Q than you would any of the others. Maybe it’s because, in a way, he’s almost as much an outsider as you are when it comes to all things monster.

Sure, the A.I. is _technically_ a monster, but he’s more than that as well, different from the others in fundamental ways that leave him forever on the outside looking in. Granted, you’re not entirely sure he _minds_ this fact, but it does give him a unique outlook on monster culture.

Q turns slightly to look at you, and you see his smile quirk a little as he realizes what you’re asking. “can you blame them?” he remarks as his gaze drifts back to the sky. “spent all their lives underground with nothing but phosphorescent crystal formations to light the dark overhead...”

“What about you?” you ask as you pull your knees up to your chest and wrap your arms around them.

He hums again, then says, “probably a holdover from what I _was,_ once upon a time _._ ”

You rest your chin on your knees and tilt your head slightly to one side as you consider his wording. “You don't consider yourself a monster anymore?”

Both of Q's brows lift subtly, and despite the deep shadows that linger across his features, backlit as he is by the night sky, you can see he’s giving your question some serious thought. “not quite,” he says eventually. “i'm just... something else,” the A.I. muses. “and i don't wish i was otherwise, before you ask,” Q adds before you can even open your mouth. He chuckles a little at the way you shut it before he continues, “i don't envy the monsters of your world their trials and tribulations. i've more than enough of my own.”

A thoughtful noise escapes you and you admit, “Keeping track of an entire world and its people would be pretty tiring, I guess.”

A huff of amusement escapes the skeleton as he notes your own teasing smile. “peaches, you have no idea,” he muses and seems tired again. It makes him look more like Sans than ever, and the subtle slump of his shoulders is something you're not accustomed to seeing on him.

“Tell me?” you ask after a moment of silence, words shy and hesitant, but genuine in their intent.

Q blinks at you again, and seems confused by your question. “about what?”

“Your day, I guess,” you clarify, blush returning. “What'd you do? I haven't heard from you since yesterday.”

He’s staring at you, almost in disbelief, and it’s a struggle to maintain eye contact, but you manage. Your toes curl into your comforter, but otherwise you let no sign of your growing embarrassment show. You’d thought yesterday about how nice it was to actually spend some one-on-one time with Blue, so here and now you decide to make an effort to do the same with _all_ your roommates.

Starting with Q.

You know the least about him, after all. His world is a strange one, and his responsibilities clearly weigh on him. You’ve gotten the impression that he doesn’t talk to the other skeletons much outside of working with Sans, Red, and Stretch on the machine, and if he’s anything like those three (which you rather suspect he is), you doubt he confides overmuch in his brother out of a misguided desire to protect him. So, maybe talking to you, an interested third party, will help.

“I mean, if you want to,” you add when his staring begins to stretch a little long for comfort, and the silence threatens to become awkward.

Q gives a start and blushes a little himself when he realizes how long he’s been gaping wordlessly at you. “i uh,” he begins, then pauses  and rubs absently at the back of his skull with a hand, droplets of water glittering in the blue-green planetlight as they trickle over pale bone. He’d averted his eyes to the horizon, but he looks back at you now, eyelights soft but bright as the stars in the sky behind him. “you actually want to know?” he asks, brow furrowed, smile dubious.

You flash him a grin and say, “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”

He cocks his head to one side slightly, expression unreadable. “you mind if i turn on the camera?” he asks, taking you off guard with the topic shift.

“Is it not already?” you ask, a little surprised as your attention goes to the camera hooked up to your PlayStation. Sure enough, though, the little light is off, making your eyebrows both shoot up.

“no,” Q remarks and you watch as he plucks one his hovering window interfaces from just off camera and turns it so you can see. Sure enough, your name, accompanied by a picture of you and a little active call symbol are all he can apparently see of you at the moment. “given the lateness of the hour, i didn’t want to presume,” he explains, averting his gaze from the camera.

“Oh,” you say, touched by his efforts. You know how easy it is for him to simply pop up wherever he likes, so the fact that he noticed how uncomfortable you were when he did so in your room while you were dressing and took steps to not do so again means a lot. “Well, thanks,” you say quietly and smile. “You can turn it on if you want.”

The light on your PlayStation’s camera blinks on, and the way Q’s mouth curves up into a slow smile at the sight of you threatens to make you blush again, but you resolutely tamp it down. “to what do i owe the honor of your company this evening, peaches?” he asks.

“I thought you were going to tell me about your day?” you say with the arch of a brow.

He waves a hand and his smile turns lazy. “if you tell me why you called in the first place. it’s awfully late, was it important?”

You glance at the clock and realize that it _is_ quite a bit later than you thought, though you don’t feel particularly tired. “Not exactly,” you say, capitulating to his request, though it feels less pressing now than it had before calling him. “I was just wondering about all those points you put on Blue and I’s Dave & Busters card.”

“who said i put points on your card?” Q asks with a sly arch of a brow.

You arch your own in turn, and the twist of your lips speaks volumes to your disbelief. “Q, come on. We were doing pretty good, but we weren’t doing 999,999 points good.”

He throws his head back and laughs. “yeah, alright, maybe it was a little heavy handed,” he admits. “just wanted you kids to be able to get yourself something nice to commemorate your date,” Q adds, and you’re not entirely sure how to interpret the smile he’s giving you. It’s not exactly sharp, but it’s not _just_ a smile, either.

“Blue’s the same age as Papyrus and Edge,” you correct him with a roll of your eyes. “Hardly a kid.”

Q lifts a hand in surrender and his smile softens. “so, what about the card, then?” he asks, putting the conversation back on track.

You shift a little in place where you sit with your knees still pulled up to your chest, then ask, “Putting so many points on the card without us actually winning them… that didn’t get any of the employees in trouble, did it?”

The monster’s eye sockets widen fractionally at the question for a moment before his smile goes rueful. “always lookin’ out for everyone else, aren’t you?” he muses lightly without actually answering as he drops his elbow onto his knee so his chin can rest on his hand.

“There’s nothing wrong with looking out for people,” you say a little defensively.

He shoots you a canny look and asks, “but who’s looking out for you, peaches?”

You blink and again you find yourself unsure what to make of the monster’s smile, though for different reasons this time. Still, you know the answer to this question, and you confidently say, “Well, everyone here at the lodge, for one.” Q lifts a brow but doesn’t argue, at least. “And...” you add, then hesitate a moment before continuing, “and you too, I think.”

He holds your gaze for a moment, then drops it and turns his face to the distant horizon. “yeah, well,” he muses quietly, free hand flexing absently at the admission. “can’t leave the job up to those idiots.” Q glances back at you and says with a sly smile, “i know they say ‘it takes a village’, but i think the lodge might qualify more as an asylum.”

You throw your head back and laugh, and Q’s grin widens. “And you’re the doctor, are you?” you ask teasingly.

“god no,” he scoffs. “we’re _all_ mad here.” You smile at his assertion and his own gentles some as he reaches out to his camera and gently guides it around so it’s facing him head-on. “Our dubious mental stability aside,” he says, “to answer your question: no, none of the employees got in trouble. i doctored all the game score registries as well so they matched your final point count.”

You heave a little sigh of relief at his confession, glad that your fun and prizes hadn’t come at someone else’s expense after all. While you’re on the subject of your date, however, another question occurs to you and you almost ask it without thinking. You catch yourself at the last moment, however, and shut your mouth just as quickly.

This doesn’t go unnoticed by Q, however and he rolls his eyes. “might as well spit out that question before you choke there, peaches.”

You grimace at being caught out, but figure there’s no backing out now, and ask, “Um, did you and the others follow me and Blue to the arcade?” The A.I. snorts, and you hurry to justify your question, “I just… they’ve done it _before,_ you see, when I went out with a friend...”

Your words peter off, and Q’s expression softens. The outing mentioned had happened before you’d freed him, but it doesn’t take much for him to put two and two together. “as far as i know, it really was just a fluke coincidence,” he tells you after a moment. “i didn’t track you there, and i doubt blue told the others what his plans were for exactly that reason,” he muses with a soft huff.

You nod, accepting his words as the truth. You’ve no reason to doubt him, after all, and the others certainly hadn’t seemed to be actively _spying_ on you and blue, so you’re prone to believing him on that alone. With that weight off your chest, you turn your attention back to Q himself and smile expectantly as you settle in and make yourself comfortable.

“what? what’s with that look?” he asks with an almost embarrassed laugh under your steady regard.

“Well?” you say, “tell me about your day.”

You’re doing it again. You’re doing that thing where you smile sincerely at him in a way that doesn’t just curl your lips, but lights up those big, pretty eyes of yours too. It makes Q’s soul flutter strangely in his chest and robs him of all his clever words. You’re dangerous, though you have no idea, and it’s a little frightening how easily you disarm him with nothing but your good intentions and a few kind words.

It’s a bit ridiculous, really, and it occurs to Q that it’s getting worse the more he comes to know you. How you manage it is beyond him. After all, it’s not as though he’s alone anymore; his brother and friends are back, and there’s never any shortage of kindness from that quarter. He’s not like the others living with you in the lodge, cut off from the outside and their own worlds, prone to seeking out what comfort they can find to assuage the loneliness that must surely tug at their souls in the dark of night.

Maybe that’s what makes it so very easy for you to slip under not only his guard, but theirs as well. You have no true obligation to them, no responsibility beyond that of a landlady; you’re a neutral third party that _should_ mean nothing to them. From what he’s heard, you’d offered to sell Sans the lodge outright and it was only a series of coincidences that had allowed them to learn of your dire situation and reach out to you. You could have taken a fat wad of cash and been on your way to live a better life someplace far from here… but you’d stayed with them anyways. You’d stayed with them and cared for them, and now they’re all head over heels for you and Q would be lying if he said he wasn’t halfway there himself already.  

The skeleton lowers his eyes, unable to match your earnest gaze and takes a deep breath.

“spent a lot of time in the lab with the amalgamates today,” he says and you smile when you realize he’s caved.

Your smile quickly turns into a quizzical frown, though, as you ask, “What’s an amalgamate?”

Q makes a thoughtful sound and scratches absently at the bridge of his nose with a finger as he considers how to explain. “mind if we walk and talk?”

“Uh,” you say and glance around your room. “As long as _I_ don’t have to go anywhere.”

He chuckles and pushes to his feet, and you have a good view of his hips and legs as water cascades down his figure. He’s wearing a pair of black swim shorts with a white stripe down one side that cut off well above the knee.

The water of the strange sea in which Q has been resting apparently only reaches his knees, and as he stretches his arms up over his head and his spine pops several times, the camera pans up the length of his body until it reaches head height for him once again. It gives you ample time to get a good look at him, and you realize that the A.I. is built differently than all your other skeletal friends.

His bones are far thicker than an actual human skeleton's, especially in the arms and legs, though even his ribs are wider than the norm. They almost appear fused into a single whole, though as he stretches you can see them shift in the low light, exposing the small gaps between them. Q's femurs are as thick as the calf of a human man, and the same proves true for his humeruses. His radius and ulna, as well as his tibia and fibula, are are so thick that they also appear fused at first glance as well. Even his hands, you realize belatedly, are different. He has actual palms for one, rather than exposed metacarpals like the others. You're not sure how you could have possibly missed that until you realize he's either been wearing gloves every time you've seen him so far, or worn a sweater with thumb holes that left only his fingers exposed. His palms are fascinating to you; they appear to be made of the same bone as the rest of him, formed into plates that shift smoothly against one another, giving them the same malleability as your own hands.

“see something you like, peaches?” he teases lightly when he catches you looking.

You roll your eyes expressively to cover your embarrassment and he chuckles low in his chest. Rather than address his question, you say, “The others are going to think you're coming on to me if you keep popping your joints like that,” hoping to embarrass him for his slip-up considering your past experiences with the others in that department.

Q just gives you a baffled look, which is not the reaction you expected, but a moment later understanding dawns and he laughs again. “oh, you mean that weird hang-up they have about popping their joints? that's a them thing, peaches. doesn't bother me any.” As an afterthought, he adds, “those of us over here don't attach any special meaning to it either, so i promise not to get all hot and bothered if you ever feel a need to crack your back.”

You grin and then give your neck a roll, which results in a few audible pops. You've always been prone to constant joint popping in the past, but since moving into the lodge you've gotten out of the habit out of respect for your friends' comfort. You don't really mind, but you have to admit that it is a little nice to know there's at least one of them you don't have to watch yourself around.

Q chuckles and starts walking, the water sloshing loudly with each step as he wades. He frowns at this, then pulls up a menu and what looks to be a hovering, holographic keyboard that nonetheless registers the letters he taps out with fingers that fly across them in a blur of impossible speed. A moment later, he closes the window and makes a satisfied sort of sound, then, oddly, takes a step up.

The camera follows his change in altitude, and, curious you ask, “What did you do?”  
He flashes you a wide, almost smug grin before he reaches out and gently pushes the camera so it drifts back through the air until its got enough space between him and it that you have a head to foot view of the skeleton. What you see makes your jaw drop.

Q is walking across the surface of the water.

“Oh my god!” you say, laughing incredulously as you finally drop your knees from your chest and scoot closer to the edge of your bed for a better look.

The A.I. laughs as he walks, hands clasped behind his back along the crest of his hips. “i do hear he's the one that coined the trick,” Q jokes and you laugh again.

“Shut up,” you snort, still fascinated. You probably shouldn't be as impressed as you are, but you can't help it. You've seen this kind of stuff in movies, of course, but this is different, this is someone you know bending the local laws of physics at their whim. “That is so cool,” you say with a wistful sigh, admiring the sight of not just of Q's trick, but of the still glorious night sky as well. You sigh again and sit cross-legged on your mattress, chin on hand as you continue watching. “Man, I wish I could visit. I bet it looks even more amazing in person.”

Q's eyes go wide at your words, and you're a little surprised by the almost boyish grin that overtakes his features. “seriously?” he asks. “you'd want to visit?”

You blink at him and lift your chin from your hand, “Well, yeah,” you say as though this is the most obvious thing in the world. “I mean, why wouldn't I? There's lots of different areas you guys have designed, right?” you ask, and he nods. “Plus, I'd get to actually see you in person, meet your Papyrus and all your friends...” your smile goes wistful at the thought of the possibilities. “Yeah, that'd be great.”

“well, alright then,” Q says, pulling your attention back to him. He's got a determined expression on his face and it's almost as worrying as that sly grin he gets sometimes.

“Alright what?” you ask warily.

“if you want to visit, i'll make it happen,” he clarifies, meeting your gaze across the impossible distance between you. There's an entire reality keeping you apart, but here he is promising he's somehow going to find a way to bridge that gap between worlds just so you can come visit. He knows he's probably mad for even thinking it…

Well, he's already admitted to his madness. Might as well own it.

“H-how?” you ask, startled but delighted by his proposition.

“i've had an idea or two for a while,” he admits as he drags up a menu window and makes a few brief notes while he walks. As he does, the camera drifts closer, and in the distance you can see a shape that sticks out starkly against the glistening waves that surround Q. The monster notices as well, and makes a bee-line for it, so it’s not long before the shape resolves itself into a tiny island.

It’s barely even that, really. The ‘island’ is made of pure, black sand, and probably isn’t more than three hundred feet across. At the central most point there’s a patch of thick, green grass, but Q eschews it in favor of plopping down on his back in the sand, hands behind his head to allow him the best view of the night sky.

“you know,” he says as he settles in. “the best thing about the beaches here is that you never get sand anywhere uncomfortable.”

You laugh and find yourself reflexively sprawling out across your bed to match his posture, propped up on your side so you can still get a good view of the television.

“That sounds amazing,” you agree. “Wish the sand at the resort had been like that,” you add a little wistfully. It had certainly been a lot of fun out there, but sand really _did_ get everywhere. “Now,” you say as you settle in more comfortably and drag the end of your blanket up over you. “About these amalgamates.”

Q chuckles. “alright,” he relents. “Alright.”

Your friend indulges your curiosity and you find your eyes opened to a new world you hadn’t even realized existed. Not just the amalgamates and the tragedy of their existence he was trying so very hard to make right, but the ins and outs of a world that exists in a purely digital realm. He didn’t go into a lot of detail on many things, and you can only assume that is due to their highly technical nature, which no one but an A.I. would have been able to follow anyways. Interestingly enough, this peek into Q’s world gives you a window into Sans and the others’ as well, or so you suspect. Obviously there are differences, but if what you have heard about the similarities between the Underground of Q’s world and that of the others, they all share the same roots.

You wonder if the amalgamates existed in those other universes to, and whatever happened to them. You want to ask one of the brothers, but you’re not sure how welcome your curiosity would be, so you shelve the thought for later.

“What’s your favorite part of the Underground?” you ask Q curiously, and he chuckles.

“my bedroom,” he replies. “it’s quiet and i have a very comfortable mattress.”

You laugh and roll your eyes, and Q smiles at the sight. “Come on, be serious.”

“i am,” he replies, still grinning as he watches you from under half-lidded eyes, the stunning starscape overhead completely forgotten. “i long for my bed all day long while i slave in the lab,” Q says with a dramatic sigh as he scoops up a palm full of black sand and lets it trickle through his fingers.

“And yet here you are,” you point out.

The monster allows his head to rest against his hand and his smile shifts to into something subtly provocative bordering on sensual. “and here _you_ are,” he counters, voice low and intimate between the two of you. The change in mood catches you off guard, so much so that you just blink, ears heating up beneath your hair at the quiet, thoughtful way he’s watching you from a world away. The moment’s gone just as quickly as it began, though, and as Q rolls onto his back once more with a soft chuckle, you wonder if it was ever there at all.

Maybe you just imagined it.

“tell me about yourself, peaches,” Q says out of the blue, making you blink again.

“What about me?” you ask.

He turns his head to look at you, one brow cocked, an expression of amusement tugging at his mouth. “how about this; what’s your favorite kind of music?” he clarifies, throwing you a bone so you’re not having to make something up on the spot.

Realizing you’ve been handed a golden opportunity in your mission to get to know the A.I. better, you smile cheekily and say, “I’ll answer your questions so long as you answer them too.”

His brow lifts a little higher, but after a moment, he says “alright. fair’s fair, i guess.”

Your smile widens and you tuck your blanket up under your chin as you give your answer.

Before you eventually drift off to sleep you learn that electronica isn’t just Q’s favorite kind of music, but that he actually makes it on his own time for fun. You also learn that he works on building an MMO of his own in his free time, a hobby carried over from his time in the cage. Q prefers coffee to tea (though he admits that this might be due to the rather fickle data available on taste in his world), Star Trek to Star Wars, and winter to summer. You play fair and tell him your preferences as well, though by the time he's asking you about the one place in the world you want to visit more than any other, you've just bout drifted off to sleep.

“peaches?” he asks, sitting up a little when you don't answer after a moment.

You give a little start and struggle to open your eyes, but it's a losing battle, and rather than answering the question you mumble, “what about you?”

Q's smile has gone soft, almost sweet as he watches you fight and fail to stay awake in the wee hours of the morning with him, though you don't see it. “technically speaking, I can go anywhere I want all the time, if i'm willing to put in the effort assembling the data and programming it,” he muses quietly, mostly to himself at this point, “so i've never given it much thought.” His gaze roves over your sleeping features and his smile goes wistful, “honestly, it's more about _who_ I want to visit than where...”

You sigh quietly in your sleep and Q chuckles as he rolls onto his back once more, gaze turning heavenward in time to see a shooting star dart across the ever changing night sky.

“wish you were here, peaches,” he mumbles quietly to himself as the planets overhead turn on.

XXXX

“SHOULD WE WAKE HER UP? IT'S ALMOST ELEVEN.”

“MAYBE. SHE'S USUALLY UP BY NOW! I HOPE SHE'S FEELING ALRIGHT...”

Red entered the kitchen from the hall the same time that Sans came in through the backdoor to find Blue and Papyrus debating the merits of waking up the landlady.

They shared a look from their opposite sides of the room and Red asked, “she still ain't up yet?”

Blue and Papyrus turned to look at him and shake their heads in unison. “IT'S ODD ISN'T IT?” Blue insisted.

A soft huff of amusement escaped Sans and he said, “i think she gave up on setting an alarm ages ago with how often you guys wake her.”

Red snorted and Papyrus looked almost offended, “WE DON'T _ALWAYS_ WAKE HER.”

“sure, bro, whatever you say,” sans mused and made his way past Red into the hall. “i'll go check on her anyways.”

Blue tried to insist that he could do it, but Red blocked his exit from the kitchen, apparently deciding to have mercy on the landlady and let someone less prone to shouting wake her. Sans smiled a little at their protestations and left his darker doppelganger to handle the others.

He made his way up the stairs, but just as he was passing his own room, his phone began to ring from its place in his jacket pocket. Sans’ brow furrowed and he paused, foot on the bottom stair leading up to the loft; it wasn’t often he got actual calls. Generally people just texted.

He fished the thing out of his pocket, and the name that illuminated the screen threatened to make Sans’ non-existent stomach drop out from under him.

Q.

The A.I. never called unless something was either about to go horribly awry, or he was up to something. Then again, he was also prone to just popping up wherever and whenever was convenient to him, so the fact that he was calling at all was enough to make the skeleton raise a brow. He considered ignoring it for a moment, but quickly shelved the idea with a sigh.

He’d never hear the end of it if he did, not when Q had finally gotten the hint and decided to call ahead rather than just show up uninvited on his phone.

“q,” Sans said when he answered, taking a step back from the stairs and pushing his way into his own bedroom. He closed the door behind him so as not to disturb the woman sleeping just upstairs and continued, “what’s on fire?”

A low laugh echoed from the other end of the line. “miraculously, nothing, actually.”

“that’s a first,” Sans drawled as he leaned his back against his door. “usually you don’t call unless something _is,_ though… so what do you want?”

“fair enough,” Q mused. “i want you to let her sleep in for a change. she was up late.”

There’s no need for Sans to ask who Q means by ‘she’, or how he knew he’d been about to wake her, and again he feels his stomach drop, though it’s accompanied by a spark of annoyance. “doing what?” he asked, though he knew it was a stupid question.

“we were just having a little tête-à-tête and it ran a bit...late,” the A.I. explained, and Sans could visualize all too clearly the smug grin that Q was no doubt wearing on his end of the call. It was a good thing they weren’t on voice chat, Sans wasn’t sure he could have resisted the urge to throw his rather expensive cellphone out the window if he’d been forced to witness it. As it was, his grip on the device tightened dangerously, making steel and glass creak alarmingly.

“you shouldn’t be pestering her, q,” he warned, though he knew it was foolish. The thought of that smug bastard chatting her up in her own room, just the two of them, put his teeth on edge though, and he was unable to restrain himself.

There was silence on the line for a long moment, and Sans began to wonder if his doppelganger was going to hang up on him. Instead, however, Q eventually said, “i don’t linger where i’m not wanted, sans.”

The total lack of humor in the A.I.’s voice revealed the words for the threat they truly are, and Sans grit his teeth so hard they ached. “so, that’s how you’re going to play it?” he asked bitterly. “we do what you want or you bail?” Silence again, and the monster had to fight the urge to throw his phone out the window again. “so what _do_ you want? we have to steer clear of our own landlady?”

“no,” Q answered finally, bringing Sans up short. “I just want my fair chance, is all,” he continued, tone still serious, though no longer threatening. “you don’t interfere in my… efforts, and i won’t interfere in yours.”

“efforts?” Sans repeated with a deliberate scoff in an attempt to disguise the way his own soul fluttered at the thought. “i’m not…”

“sans,” Q cut in before the other skeleton could even finish his sentence, tone bored, verging on amused now. “please don’t insult my intelligence by trying to insist that you’re not head over heels for this woman.” When Sans fell quiet, Q pressed on. “everyone in this damn lodge and the surrounding _mile_ of countryside is...” the monster huffed softly, “not that i can say i’m terribly surprised.”

Sans sighed and allowed himself to slide down the length of the door until he was finally in a seated position on the floor. “yeah,” the skeleton admitted softly and rubbed the back of his skull absently with his free hand. “she’s just...” his voice petered off as he was unable to find the words he needs to describe the woman that had come into their life so suddenly and left such lasting marks on all of them in the process.

Her kindness, her determination in overcoming the abuse she’d been subjected to for years, her perseverance in moving on with her life while becoming a part of theirs…

“yeah,” q repeated with a sigh of his own. They were both quiet for a long minute as they considered the difficult situation they, and everyone else tied to the woman upstairs, had been put in through no fault of her own. “well,” he continued eventually, and the teasing humor returned to his voice as he said, “may the best monster win.”

Sans pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed again. “fuck off, q.”

The A.I. Laughed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, hope you enjoyed! Look forward to learning all about Q's greatest fear next chapter, heh, and then a special halloween chapter after that!  
> Remember to drop a review and tell me your favorite part, I love hearing that and it really helps me keep writing!


	5. At the Heart of All Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Q go on a walk in the woods that takes an unexpected turn for the dramatic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol shit this turned out SO MUCH LONGER than anticipated *drags hands down face* Well, enjoy! 8'D Make sure to drop a review if you do and let me know your favorite part! I totally live for that!
> 
> **NOTE:** this chapter takes place a few days after chapter 22 of Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady!

The doorbell rings at eleven o’clock on the dot, interrupting you just as you’re about to pour yourself your second cup of coffee and nearly making you slosh the precious beverage onto the counter.

You frown a little to yourself and carefully put the carafe back before leaving your empty cup behind to go answer the door. After taking a moment to peer through the peephole to see the mailman with a package tucked under one arm, you pull it open and smile. 

“Mornin’” the man says as he offers you a clipboard with a surprisingly thick stack of paper on it. “Got a delivery for you, mind signing here on the last page?”

You greet him in turn then take the clipboard and pen, doing as you’re asked without really looking too closely at the rest of the pages. When you glance up again, the mailman looks sweaty and nervous, which makes you blink in surprise, but before you can answer him you notice a second, much larger truck than his rumbling slowly down the long drive up to the front of the lodge. “You guys forget something?” you muse with a chuckle as you offer the clipboard back to the man.

He takes it with a shaking hand and turns to see the other truck. He seems a little relieved at the sight of it, enough so that he actually hands you the package under his arm. “Well, kinda had to, didn’t we? Better two trucks than fifty trips,” he eeks out.

“ Sorry?” you ask, brow furrowed in confusion as you accept the package. It’s not very heavy, and when you look to see who it’s for, you see ‘Sans Q’ on the label. Doesn’t take any guessing to figure out which Sans  _ that’s  _ supposed to be.

The mailman gives you a quizzical (still somewhat sweaty) smile. “Well, I mean,” he gestures vaguely with the clipboard, making the pages there-on flutter with the motion. “There’s over a hundred packages...”

“ _ How many?! _ ”  you exclaim in a strangled voice as the second truck driver gets out and approaches.

“Hey,” he says as he tugs off his cap. “Where we putting all this?”

“just leave it on the porch. we’ll get it from there,” a deep voice says from directly behind you. 

It takes everything in you not to jump and scream, but when you turn, you realize why the mailman had gone so pale while you were signing the paperwork. Red is behind you in the door, dressed in faded black jeans and a red tank top, an unlit cigarette dangling from between his sharpened teeth.

Your heart is pounding a mile a minute and you squint at him to silently communicate your displeasure at his sneaking up on you, but he just winks lazily, unphased by your ire. With a sigh you turn back to the mailmen and say, “Yeah, the porch is fine.”

“Sure, no problem,” the first mailman says as he steps back quickly and hurries down the steps, immediately followed by the other.

You and Red watch them go for a moment before he turns his gaze to you and crooks a brow. “who the hell ordered half of fucking amazon?” A light huff of amusement escapes you and you tilt the top of the package in your arms so he can see the what’s printed there. 

“One guess,” you say and tap the name with a finger.

“christ,” the skeleton mutters under his breath as he fiddles absently with his unlit cigarette then shoves it back into the carton in his back pocket. “better go ask himself where he wants all this crap while i round up a posse to deal with it all,” Red says with a grimace of annoyance. Still, he must have some inkling as to the contents of the packages the two mailmen are beginning to wheel up towards the lodge on trolleys or you don’t think he’d be quite so willing to help.

You nod and flash the monster a smile. “Thanks, Red.”

He waves you off with a hand and you head back inside. 

“Q?” you call as you trot down the stairs towards the basement. You hear the lock click before you even reach the bottom step and you push the door open without breaking your stride. 

“morning, peaches,” the A.I.’s familiar voice greets you as you enter his room. It’s here that you do finally pause and look around a little. Things have slowly but surely been getting cleaned up since Q’s return, and today that’s more apparent than ever. While the main room of the basement is still a mess of machine parts and tools, in here, everything appears to have its place and there are no longer discarded bits of machinery lying about on the floor. 

In fact, said bits of machinery appear to have been reassembled into a simple robot of sorts that is currently returning several tools to a box and fishing out new ones to replace them. You watch it for a moment as it finds what it’s looking for, then turns a 180 on well oiled treads and heads back into the side door through which you have yet to venture. It’s always been silent there before, but now there is a great deal of commotion until the robot shuts the door behind it, muffling the noise once more.

“looking sweet as your namesake today, if you don’t mind me saying,” Q remarks, pulling you from your consideration of the robot to see him smiling down at you from his main monitor at the back of the room between the server stacks.

“What?” you ask with a blink as you move towards him, a little slow on the uptake in your distraction.

He only chuckles and leans against the counter on his side of the screen as his smile widens and he clarifies, “i’m saying you look sweet as a peach.”

You laugh and flush a little at the compliment and that roguish smile of is. To cover, you reply, “Are you trying to say I look fuzzy?”

He laughs. “only in the very best way, of course. i never have been one to object to a little peach fuzz...”

You’re pretty sure he’s making an innuendo there, and you just don’t have it in you to counter it in any fashion that doesn’t end with you turning beet red, so instead you turn the package towards him and say, “The mailman was just here.”

“for me?” he asks, eyelights brightening as he leans in closer to his screen. You jump a little as one of the cameras overhead proves to be on a swivelling arm when it drops down for a look. 

It tracks your movements flawlessly and you ask, “Uh, could it always do that?”

Q glances up at you on the screen in perfect sync with the camera as it does the same. He grins as the lens focuses on your face and he says, “nah. upgraded it the other day, actually.”

“Oh,” you say, blinking curiously at the thing. Sure enough, this camera is not only on an arm, but appears much sleeker and more advanced than the rest of those set up throughout the basement. Your eyes flick to the side door and you can’t help but ask, “With the help of your little robot friend there?”

The camera twists to follow your gaze, then turns back to you. “Oh, yeah, actually,” he says. “It acts as my hands around the lab.” Q’s mouth twists a little as he admits, “it’s long overdue for an upgrade too, actually.” The skeleton sighs and drums his fingertips absently on the desk before continuing, “it and everything else around here. i used to have a few of them but the three stooges went and tore them to bits for scraps when they realized i wasn’t around to manufacture machine parts for them anymore.”

Ah, so  _ that’s  _ what all the mess lying around in here had been. 

You want to ask what’s going on in the other room you’ve yet to venture into, but you recall your purpose there in the basement and put the question on hold for later. “So, you wanna tell me why the mailman had to bring a friend just to help him deliver over a  _ hundred  _ packages today?” you ask as you turn and place the box on a nearby work table.

Q blinks, but quickly puts things together and he brightens again as he asks, “oh, the rest of the orders came in too? great!” He rubs his hands together and his smile turns mischievous as he adds, “talk about perfect timing.”

“Do I want to know what you’re up to?” you ask, simultaneously amused and concerned by the monster’s antics on screen.

He stops rubbing his hands like a b-list supervillain and flashes you a grin. “probably, but i’m not telling.” You feign offense with a gasp and Q laughs and waves you off. “honestly, most of it is for that blasted machine,” he admits with a grimace. “or at least, it’s parts for my machines that i need to work on  _ the  _ machine,” he clarifies. 

“Uh-huh,” you say and wrinkle your nose, making the A.I. smile. “Well, Red sent me down to ask where you want it all.”

“Ah,” Q says. “I’ll run ahead and tell him, don’t worry about it, peaches,” he tells you, then with a wink and a grin, the monitor clicks off, leaving you, presumably, alone in the basement.

You’ve been left completely unsupervised in the lab for the first time, and your natural curiosity tempts you to nose around a little bit. Maybe take a peek in that side room Q’s robot assistant disappeared into a minute ago… You give yourself a mental shake then turn around and leave the lab, closing the door firmly behind you. It would be rude to poke around where you haven’t been invited, and doing so would only betray the trust Sans, Q, and the others have put in you when it comes to their lab. You’re basically allowed to come and go as you please so long as Q is amenable to opening the door, and you’re not about to throw that away just to sate your curiosity.

Besides, Q will probably give you a tour if you just ask.

In the meantime, however, you have plans of your own for the day. You and Sans had talked yesterday about the other cabins on the lodge’s property, and you had found out that not all of them were occupied, and most of them had been relatively derelict when the many iterations of the skelebros had moved in. They’d fixed the ones they were using to make them habitable, obviously, but that still left a handful of them standing empty and, presumably, in need of repairs. 

As you top the stairs and gather your things for your walk, you grimace internally at your dereliction of the property since inheriting it. Honestly, beyond the general positive impact your new friends have had on your life, you’re lucky they found the lodge and settled in. Goodness only know the state it’d be in without them squatting here and fixing it up to make it more comfortable. Yes, definitely time to go check out the unoccupied cabins and see what kind of damage they’ve sustained over the years…

You zip up your light jacket then head for the front door, only to just barely avoid getting ploughed down by a large, heavy looking box illuminated by soft, orange light.

“ sorry there, honey. didn’t mean to  _ box  _ you in,” Stretch remarks with a lopsided grin as he guides the package through the entryway and sees you standing there. You wave him off with a chuckle and he turns to call up the stairs, “blue! q’s gonna delete all your save files if you don’t help out, you know!”

“I’M COMING I’M COMING!” Blue shouts back as he thunders down the stairs, dragging on a hoodie and pulling a face at his older brother. “AND HE’S NOT THAT MEAN, PAPY, COME ON.”

Stretch just hums noncommittally in response, though you catch a smile playing subtly across his angular features as he continues on towards the lab, tailing yet more gently glowing packages. “whatever you say, bro.”

Blue sticks his tongue out at his brother’s retreating back, then turns and sees you, a smile illuminating his features as he does. “YOU’RE NOT GOING TO HELP, ARE YOU?” he asks when he notes that you’re dressed for the outdoors in sturdy shoes, jeans, and a jacket. “WE’VE GOT THIS, YOU DON’T NEED TO WORRY!”

You glance out the open front door and see the two mailmen standing some distance from their trucks, watching as Sans and Red guide packages out of the back and pass them off to their respective brothers to bring inside. They definitely don’t look like they need any help from you. You’d probably just get in the way. “Nah,” you admit with a flap of your hand. “I’m going out to check, on a couple of the unoccupied cabins to see what kind of state they’re in, actually.”

“OH!” Blue replies, a little surprised, and then immediately concerned as he grips your shoulder with one hand and asks, “WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO COME WITH YOU? IT SHOULDN’T TAKE TOO LONG TO FINISH UP HERE IF YOU’RE WILLING TO WAIT.”

You give your friend a smile and say, “Oh, don’t worry about it! I’ll probably be back by the time you guys are done unloading and have everything situated. When I do, maybe we could do another Super Smash tournament or something?” you suggest.

The skeleton’s eye sockets light up at the suggestion. “SURE, THAT SOUNDS GREAT!” he says enthusiastically. “YOU GET GOING, THEN, AND I WILL TOO, AND WE’LL MEET BACK HERE FOR GAMES IN A BIT!”

“Sounds like a plan,” you say and give him a salute that makes Blue laugh before mimicking you, then turning to hurry off and help the others before they can call him out for boondoggling. You watch him go for a moment, then shake your head and set off down the steps and make your way towards the treeline.

Before you make it more than a few yards, you double check your jacket pocket to make sure you have the ancient map of the property you and Sans had dug up the day before. Finding it, you continue on with confidence, breathing deep of the cool autumn air, leaves crunching under your feet.

“nice day for a walk,” a voice says out of the blue several minutes into your stroll, nearly making you stumble over the uneven ground.

Realizing you have company, you drag your phone out of your back pocket and are greeted with Q’s grinning visage. “Aren’t you supposed to be helping the others put away all your things, Q?” you ask with an arch of your brow, though a smile tugs at your lips as you watch him glance around curiously at your surroundings via your phone camera.

“i told them where to put it all, not sure what else i could possibly do to help when it comes to moving boxes around the place,” the A.I. muses with a rueful grin, and you have to admit that he has a point. 

“Fair enough,” you say and start walking again. “Feel like coming along to see one of the other cabins, then?”

Q, who is now lounging against one of the application icons glances at you sidelong and asks, “dunno, this one gonna be haunted too?”

You laugh. “Dunno,” you admit, “you been squatting anywhere else besides my basement?”

Q makes an affronted noise, “excuse me, _i_ pay rent, that’s not squatting, peaches.” Your teasing smile makes him roll his eyelights, though his own smile quirks up the corners of his mouth. “but, yeah, i’ll tag along. better than watching that lot argue back at the lodge. plus, i’ve never really seen what the area around here actually looks like.”

“Really?” you ask, surprised, then immediately wonder why. Of course he hadn’t been outside the lodge proper until now. Even before Sans and the others had locked him up, Q had been a secret from their brothers and everyone else, so you doubted they’d taken the time to actually show him around the place onvia a phone. “Well,” you say quickly before he can shoot you one of his skeptical looks, “here, take a look then.”

You hold up your phone and give Q the panoramic view of the forest. You’re several minutes out from the lodge now and there’s nothing but trees for as far as the eye can see. They’re all sporting their fall best, making your surroundings a riot of bright reds, rich golds, and earthy browns. Your companion is quiet, so you glance back at the screen again and see that he appears surprised, and then admiring in turns. 

“i didn’t realize fall was so far along,” he admits ruefully. “i should really get some exterior cameras set up,” he mutters, more to himself than to you, and seems to make a note of it offscreen. 

“I’m pretty surprised you don’t already,” you remark as you walk, keeping your phone lifted, both so you can see Q, and so he can watch the scenery go by.

The monster grimaces again and says, “the others didn’t want to attract attention by having a bunch of cameras around.”

“ Ah,” you say delicately, the tremendous chasm between your friends making itself known once more. You wonder if the breach between Q and the others will ever be mended, and decide that you might as well try because it doesn’t seem like any of them are willing to reach out to one another and do so themselves. Maybe if you started by helping Q make a connection with Blue or Papyrus… He didn’t have any sort of grudge against  _ them,  _ after all. If you come at the problem sideways it might be easier than trying to tackle it head on. 

Q hums in response and quiet falls over the pair of you for a time, though it’s a companionable one. Your focus is on trying to track of the overgrown path to the cabin as it keeps disappearing and reappearing from beneath the layer of leaves the trees have dropped across it. Apparently not even deer are making use of this route these days if the overgrowth is anything to go by.

Your companion is content to admire the view while you pick your way through a particularly dense patch of alders that has overtaken the path, and doesn’t speak again until you’ve broken out of the opposite side and found the going a bit easier as you locate a small stream you recognize from your map.

“how were you thinking of doing your hair?” Q asks out of the blue, making you blink at him in confusion as his meaning completely passes you by.

“Sorry?”

He chuckles and leans back casually against his own app icon. “for halloween. have any ideas on what you’re going to do with your hair to go with your costume?” he clarifies.

“Oh!”  you say, then admit, “No, actually. Why, did you have an idea?”

The monster’s smile is just a shade too innocent as he says, “well, if you’re  _ asking  _ i might have a few suggestions...”

You laugh and say, “Well, I’m open to them. You pull them up, and I’m gonna stick you in my pocket a minute so I can double check the map real quick.”

Without locking your phone screen, you tuck it into your jacket and trade it out for your map. You unfold the lot and turn it this way and that for a moment before figuring out which way goes up as you continue walking along the stream, glancing down every once in awhile to make sure you’re not about to step off the edge of the bank and into the water.

If you’re reading it right, there  _ should  _ be a little foot bridge nearby to get you across and save your shoes a wetting, but knowing your luck a storm will have washed it away at some point in the intervening years…

A strange, strangled noise is emitted from your pocket and you glance down at it curiously. “Everything alright in there, Q?”

“your phone signal just cut out,” he says, words only slightly muffled by the fabric of your coat.

You return your focus to the map and say, “Oh, don’t worry about it, then. You can always show me when we get back.”

He doesn’t respond, but you’re too busy glancing from the map to your surroundings to register this new silence as odd. You push on deeper into the woods, but a couple of minutes later your attention is dragged back to your pocket when Q says, “go back.”

“What?” you ask, confused as you shift your grip on your map and fish around for your phone. “Why?”

“please go back,” Q repeats as you finally get a good look at him again. What you see is surprising, and actually makes you stop short. The monster is wildeyed, though the rest of his body language has gone completely rigid, frozen in place with his arms crossed tight over his chest rather than clasped loosely behind his back as is usually his habit.

“Q, what’s the matter?” you ask, immediately concerned for your friend.

He seems to be having trouble speaking, but he manages to force eye contact with you and grinds out, “i can’t… the network’s gone.”

You tilt your head to one side, bemused. “Don’t worry, I’m sure signal will come back here soon. It just tends to get a bit patchy out here in the woods is all.”

You’d intended your words to be comforting, but they don’t seem to do the trick. A small, almost animal noise escapes Q and his shoulders begin to shake as his eyelights snuff out, leaving his sockets dark, empty pits that focus on nothing at all. “i, um-” he begins, but stops as the shaking spreads to his entire body. The skeleton tightens his arms across his chest, and to you it looks as though he’s trying very hard to keep from flying apart at the seams. 

You know from experience that none of your skeleton friends technically _need_ to breathe, though you’ve noticed them all sighing emphatically when they need to communicate various emotions. Q, however, is practically gasping as he sort of crumples into a crouch on your phone screen, hands moving from where they were tucked under his arms to the sides of his head. His eye sockets are clenched tightly shut as he struggles for air that he doesn’t technically need, but apparently the A.I.’s body never got the memo as he slides deeper and deeper into what you realize is an outright panic attack. 

Wide-eyed and horrified by your friend’s distressed state, you crumple your map and shove it hurriedly into your hoodie pocket then begin to immediately backtrack down the path in hopes of getting some signal. “Alright, we’re turning around right now; just breathe, okay?” you tell him in what you hope is a comforting voice. 

He doesn’t respond, so you’re not entirely sure that Q can even hear you. In fact, as you bring the phone a little closer to your face in hopes of hearing him say something in response, you realize he’s muttering to himself. You have no idea what he’s saying, though whether that’s because he’s speaking so fast your ears can’t keep up, or if he’s literally speaking a different language, you have no idea. 

“Q?” you ask worriedly and he shakes his head and clamps his hands tighter around his head. “Come on, talk to me,” you beg.

“i can’t take being alone again,” he rasps, though you’re only just barely able to make out the words. “no one’s here,” he mumbles almost incoherently to himself. “just me, always just me and the fucking dark and the silence but i can’t fill it up; too goddamn big...” His shoulders heave so hard he nearly topples and your heart aches to see him falling apart like this.

“You’re not alone, Q,” you insist, but your words don’t seem to register as he crumples in on himself. “Q!” Still nothing, and so you try one more thing while you jog down the path, branches whipping at your shoulders and thighs as you push through the alder thicket again. “Sans!”

The skeleton jerks and finally looks at you, eyelights barely pinpricks in his sockets, but there all the same, and you take that as a good sign. 

“You’re not alone, Sans,” you repeat, words gentle but insistent. “I’m right here, I promise we’ll get you some signal soon and everything will be alright. You’re not stuck again, I swear.”

Q’s eyelights get a little larger and focus on your features as you hold up your phone in front of you so he can really see you. In the process, though, you stumble and nearly wind up on your face in the dirt.

“p-peaches,” he manages to say at last. “peaches, you alright?”

“I’m fine,” you insist, though you wince a little with the next step as your ankle twinges a bit.

The A.I. gives himself a hard shake and takes a deep, unsteady breath that seems to help him some. “stop, stop, i’m alright,” he says, though he still sounds anything but. Then, with a weak laugh, adds, “quit running around before you wind up in the stream and really hurt yourself.”

You do as he says, slowing to a walk, and then a full stop next to a tree that you proceed to lean against as you catch your breath. While you take a moment to gather yourself, you watch carefully as Q proceeds to do the same. He pushes himself slowly to his feet, unsteady at first until he catches his balance and then straightens the sleeves of his hoodie with slow, deliberate motions. 

The raw panic is still gnawing at his gut, but he pushes it down. It takes everything he has not to scream as the silence presses in from all sides in a way that is so terrifyingly familiar. He’s only just escaped that emptiness, the deafening silence of the cage he’d been forced into by his doppelganger, and now here he is again only it’s even  _ smaller  _ this time and he swears to god it feels like the walls are closing in…

Q’s soul churns nauseatingly and he listens, really listens. There’s the sound of the stream, and a few scattered birds overhead. He can hear the wind blowing through the trees, rattling the dying leaves and making them sigh with its passing. Loudest of all, however, is the sound of your breathing as you lean against a tree to gather yourself after running helter skelter through the woods for his sake. The monster closes his eyes briefly and just listens to that reassuring sound, the sound of another person here with him.

Not alone. He’s not alone, you’re here; his disconnection from the network is only temporary, though he should have known better than to transfer fully onto your phone instead of streaming. He’ll reconnect soon and be able to feel the comforting hum of his world and the people there in; a reassuring presence forever lingering at the borders of his mind. They’re still out there, this isn’t like before; he’s not alone.

Q tugs at the hem of his sweater to straighten it, eyes carefully avoiding yours, for which you’re glad. You’re not sure what he’d make of the guilt you’re certain is written plain across your features at this moment in which you have abruptly recognized your own unconscious bias against Q. You well know just how angry he had been at Sans and the others for locking him away, a great injustice for which you’re certain he’d been planning revenge for some time. But somehow you’d skipped over the idea that the A.I. might have been genuinely traumatized by what he’d gone through during that year in which he’d had no one’s company but his own, and whatever he could overhear the others saying in the lab. 

Have you not really been thinking of him as a  _ person,  _ you ask yourself in the moment of silence that hangs between the two of you. Have you thought of him as less because he doesn’t have a physical presence in your world? Because sticks and stones can’t break his bones, were you convinced words and experiences were similarly ineffective? The idea that a year in solitary  _ wouldn’t  _ leave a sentient being with deep psychological scarring is completely ludicrous, and you’re horrified that this fact is only just now  _ truly  _ sinking in. 

Oh, you’d felt  _ bad  _ for Q when you’d heard his tale of woe at your first meeting, of course. It had been enough for you to stick your neck out for him in regards to the others so he could gain his freedom after all, and yet…

“I’m so sorry,” you say, the words spilling out of you without warning as tears prick unexpectedly at the corners of your eyes. “Sans, I’m so sorry.”

Q’s gaze snaps up to you immediately as you speak, and to your relief he doesn’t look upset with you, but he does appear confused. His eye sockets widen when he sees your tears, and he reaches out to you reflexively, only to withdraw his hand again when he realizes the futility of the gesture.

“what for, peaches?” he asks, brow furrowed in concern, which somehow only makes things worse, and you brush impatiently at your tears with a sleeve before they can roll down your cheeks. “please don’t cry,” he asks with a weak, helpless smile. “or at least tell me why so i can fix it?”

Q looks downright ragged, if not in his appearance, then in his demeanor. His panic attack has taken a lot out of him, and yet here he is worrying over why _you’re_ crying like some sort of useless twit…

“ I-I’m sorry,” you say for the third time as you fight to get yourself under control. “I’m sorry I never thought about what being locked up in that network by yourself for an entire  _ year  _ must have done to you. It just… it never occurred to me and I feel  _ awful, _ ”  you admit, failing miserably in your efforts not to cry as more tears begin to roll freely down your cheeks and the guilt gnaws at you. You sniff hugely and proceed to hide your face in the crook of your elbow to both shield yourself from his gaze, and stop the tears at the source.

Q is stunned, though you can’t see it, and something deep in his coded soul flutters alarmingly at the sight of you crying for  _ his  _ sake. He opens his mouth in an attempt to speak, but the words die stillborn on his lips, so he shuts it again. You’re sniffling into your sleeve, and if you weren’t so damn  _ sad,  _ he’d think it was downright adorable. “peaches, please, don’t be sad. trust me, i’m used to people around here not taking my feelings into account. you don’t have to cry over me, i’m fine, i promise,” he tries to reassure you, not realizing that he’s taken completely the wrong tact.

You lower your elbow just enough to stare at him over the top of your arm. “That doesn’t make it  _ okay! _ ”  you insist, horrified by his casual acceptance of the status quo. “That’s… that’s even worse, Sans! And I’m-” you sniff again and finally drop your arm, no longer crying, though your eyes are red and your face is splotchy, which is never a look you enjoy sporting, but here you are. “And I’m better than that! You’re a person too, even if you’re not here  _ with  _ us, and it was really shitty of me to just assume everything was fine just because you act like it is.”

Q is staring up at you from your phone screen, one hand covering the bottom half of his face, the other gripping his elbow. You think you look an awful mess, but all he can think is how absurdly bright your eyes are in the wake of your tears. “i, uh-” he begins, suddenly on uncertain footing; not something he’s accustomed to. He normally operates with such certainty, but when it comes to you… god, you just turn everything upside down, don’t you? When you meet his gaze again, the subtle shift of your head allows the afternoon sunshine to glitter off the tears still clinging to the dark swath of your eyelashes, and the world spins, leaving him dizzy and short of breath that he doesn’t even need. You watch him expectantly, waiting for him to speak, but he’s struggling.

“Sans?” you ask, worried by his relapse into silence, and the sound of his name on your lips again is like hearing a favorite song for the first time in a long time.

The monster gives a start, hand tightening on his jaw before dropping away entirely. “don’t worry about it,” he insists again, voice rough with emotion as he drops his eyes. Before you can object, he presses on, “you get it now. that’s what matters.”

You open your mouth to speak, but you have no idea what to say, so when he does meet your gaze again, you muster a soft smile for him. Your efforts are rewarded with a smile of his own; weak and a little lopsided though it may be, it’s genuine, and that gives you some relief. “Alright, let’s head back,” you say as you push off the tree you’ve been leaning on and start back the way you’d come.

Before you make it more than three paces, though, Q says, “wait,” and you glance down at him in question. He flushes a little, but clears his throat as he straightens his shoulders and clasps his hands tight behind his back to mask their shaking. “you have something to do, don’t you? lets keep going.”

“Sans,” you say, brow furrowed, touched by his concern. “It’s alright, I can come back later, it’s waited this long, it can wait til tomorrow.”

Except, if you wait til tomorrow to come again, Q doubts he’ll be the only one with you, and call him selfish, but he’s loathe to give up this opportunity to keep you to himself with no worry of the others butting in and interrupting. Granted, he’s done a fantastic job completely botching the previously lighthearted mood with his dramatics so far, and even now he can still feel that sense of panic pricking at the back of his mind, but he’s determined. He refuses to be ruled by his fear, and he’s not about to back down now, not with you watching him with those big, pretty eyes of yours, concern written clear across your features.

“no,” he insists firmly. “i… i want to go,” and he doesn’t say anything further, but you can see the wounded pride in his gaze as he locks eyes with you again, shoulders rigid. He hates that he broke down like that, and you’ve had enough breakdowns of your own in the past that you can relate to the need he clearly has to prove himself capable of overcoming them. Defeat in this is something he simply cannot abide.

A soft sigh escapes you, and a rueful smile tugs at your lips. “Okay,” you concede. “But it’s alright if you change your mind, just tell me, alright?”

Q nods, and you set off again. After a moment, he strikes sup a conversation, no doubt to distract himself from the continuing absence of connection. “i’ve made progress with figuring out how you can come visit,” he says.

“Seriously?” you ask, expression brightening immediately at the prospect.

Your delight seems to do the trick diverting the A.I. as something in his expression softens and a genuine smile spreads across his features. “yeah. i’m a ways off from a testable model at the moment, but if you’re willing to submit to a little neural mapping it’d go a long ways to speeding up the process.”

“Sure!” you agree immediately, then hesitate. “Uh, what exactly does that entail?”

Q chuckles and says, “you sitting in a chair with a special helmet on while i take some brain scans.”

“ Oh,” you say, then grin and say, “Well, I think I can handle that much!” You have more questions for him, and he seems happy to indulge your curiosity, though he has to backtrack over his own explanations to simplify them for you more than once. Not that you’re stupid, of course, and you’re glad to see that he doesn’t appear frustrated by your need for clarification. The stuff he’s talking about is just so deep in hypothetical science territory that you figure even actual human  _ scientists  _ would have trouble keeping up. 

Eventually, you pause for a moment to take out your now crumpled and creased map to double check your direction after sticking your phone in your hoodie pocket. “You know,” you muse conversationally as you orient your map in the correct direction. “You’d make a great teacher, Q.”

A loud snort emanates from your phone. “yeah right, peaches. i’ve got no patience for that kind of thing.”

“Look,” you say with a laugh as you neatly fold up the paper this time, then fetch out your phone again. “If you can get _me_ to even begin to follow all this, then I’m pretty convinced you could teach just about anyone anything. You’ve been _very_ patient.”

He snorts again and says bluntly, “you’re bright, peaches, you’re easy to teach. you may not know much in the way of science, but your comprehension is good.” he pauses, then turns his gaze to the tree canopy overhead as he admits in a quieter tone, “besides, i like talking to you. can’t say that about many others, especially on your side of the screen.”

Your eyes widen fractionally at his admission, and you feel a blush beginning to crawl up the back of your neck. “Thanks,” you manage to eek out shyly and Q’s smile returns. “I really like talking to you too,” you say.

Now it’s his turn to blush, though lucky him, something catches your eye so you miss it. “Look, there’s the bridge!”  you exclaim brightly and hurry towards it, giving Q time to collect himself.

You pause at the end of the structure, giving it a wary once over before you set foot on it. It’s about four feet long and spans the gap between the two banks of the stream, which is running quite shallow at the moment. Come the rainy season you know it’ll be impossible to cross without, but at the moment you could probably jump the actual stream with a good running start. Still, the bridge is a landmark on the way to finding the cabin, and you aren’t far now. In fact, you’re pretty sure you can see it through the trees a little ways off.

The actual structure of the bridge  _ seems  _ sturdy enough, and it barely creaks when you test some of your weight on it. 

“careful, peaches,” Q warns as you take your first full step out onto it. “keep away from the middle, it’ll be sturdier along the sides where the supports are.”

You accept his advice readily, and make it across without incident. Oddly, the moment you step foot on the other side of the stream, your phone signal finally returns and Q sags with relief as his connection to his world is reestablished.

“oh thank god,” he says and drags a hand down his face as he takes a few deep breaths to keep himself under control.

“Do you need to go?” you ask considerately. “Is everything alright?”

His hand drops from his face and he smiles up at you. “nah, it’s fine now. let’s go see about this cabin of yours.”

The cabin, as it turns out, is in  _ very  _ bad shape.

“Oh hell,” you mutter as you look up at it and grimace. It’s one of the largest buildings on the property outside of the lodge proper, being two stories tall and built in the traditional rectangular layout. It has a long, covered porch that runs along the entire front side of the building, and would look quite welcoming if it weren’t for the fact that half the roof is missing and probably has been for some time.

You circle along the perimeter of the cabin and soon spot where one of the surrounding trees dropped a huge limb that caused the initial damage, which then worsened over years of neglect as the elements took their toll.

“don’t even think about it,” Q warns when you make the full circuit and hesitate before the steps leading up to the porch and the main door. “if you’re going to go inside, bring some of the others out here with you,” he says, though it pricks his pride to do so. As he is, though, he’s next to useless if the whole damn structure decides to come down on your head. 

You sigh and nod, knowing he’s right. “Yeah. God, it really is a wreck, isn’t it?” you grumble, wondering just how bad the damage is. No doubt the entire second story is a loss from water damage, and goodness knows what else might be wrong on top of that… A soft snort of amusement escapes you in spite of your annoyance, and you muse, “Black really didn’t need to worry about ghosts over at his place. If they’re anywhere on the property, they’re definitely  _ here. _ ”

Q chuckles and gives the building a more considering look through your phone’s camera. After a moment, he asks, “say, peaches… what say you let me take care of this for you?”

“What?” you ask, confused as you look down at the screen again, unsure of what he means.

“the cabin. i’ll fix it up for you, in exchange for a favor,” he clarifies, expression taking on a sly turn.

You arch a brow, wondering how on earth he would even manage such a feat, but figure he wouldn’t offer if he didn’t have some way of managing it. “What kind of favor?”

The A.I.’s smile widens, “let me turn it into a proper haunted house for halloween first.”

His request startles a laugh out of you. “Seriously?”

“seriously,” he says, still grinning, but seeming genuine all the same. “it’s my project, so i’ll foot the bill and at the end you’ll have a remodeled cabin ready to rent to the next bunch of hapless skeletons to stumble across your path.”

You snort again and almost reject him out of hand, but a more practical part of you makes you stop and reconsider. Even with all of your friends paying you rent, you doubt you’ve got the capital necessary to do the kind of repairs the dilapidated building is going to need. You also don’t feel comfortable asking everyone else to help you foot the bill considering things are only in this state thanks to you and your family’s neglect of the property. If you take Q’s offer, though, the building will be fixed  _ and  _ he’ll get to have his fun. Still, it’s an awful lot of money just for a haunted house…

He can see you teetering, so Q eventually presses, “hey, look, if it makes you feel better, we can sit down and hash out a rent agreement on top of that. I get free use of the place for however long in exchange for the capital i put into it.”

You blink and can’t help but ask, “What would you even use it for?”

The A.I. hums thoughtfully, then says, “the manufacturing wing in the lab is getting a bit cramped. I could keep some of my personal projects out here instead and actually have room to get things done without tripping over bits of sans’ damn machine all the time.” He seems to warm up to the idea even as he says it, and his eyes are brighter than ever as he says, “yeah, my own workshop… that’d be nice.”

You tilt your head, watching the skeleton’s growing excitement at the prospect, and smile. “Yeah, alright, why not?” you say. “I’m holding you to that rent agreement, though. I’m not really looking for charity,” you add firmly.

“of course,” he agrees, and with a rueful smile, adds, “neither am i, peaches.”

The pair of you linger for a few minutes more as you take some pictures for reference, then head back to the lodge. You’re both practically holding your breath the entire way back, but your cell coverage doesn’t cut out again, luckily for Q. You suggest that he simply go on ahead, but he insists on staying with you just in case, and the way he almost gets offended at the thought of leaving you alone in the woods makes you smile. He does chat on about his plans for the place now that he’s set on it, and you listen willingly as he goes on about running lines out to the place, signal boosters, and all kinds of things. It’s nice to see him get excited about a project, you realize, and now you’re more glad than ever that the two of you came to an understanding.

The rest of your roommates are done with unloading all the mail by the time you get back, and in an unspoken agreement communicated through a glance, you and Q agree not to mention just how emotional your outing had gotten. Luckily, any lingering redness from crying has long since faded by the time you return, so none of the others are any wiser. You don’t have any particular shame for your tears beyond a bit of embarrassment at having cried at all, but you know Q would be loathe to admit to any weakness in front of the others. You can’t blame him, considering their history, so you willingly play along when Blue asks how things went and he simply answers, “oh, fine. nice day for a walk.”

* * *

It’s late, even for Q who needs so very little rest to function, but he’s still lying awake in bed staring up at the ceiling. A.I.s such as himself don’t drift off to sleep since powering down is an active choice on their part (which at least means that the insomnia that runs rampant among organics has no hold on them), but also makes them prone to forgetting to rest altogether. 

A lot happened today, though, and Q can’t stop mulling over the time he’d spent with you in the forest. Memories of the way he’d broken down in front of you and shown you his weakest side plague him, making him groan aloud with embarrassment and drag both hands down his face. More poignant, however, are the thoughts your response to his pain. You hadn’t noticed at first, but he can hardly blame you for that, considering how out of left field his panic attack would have seemed to you. You were just on a walk like any other day and he’d gone and made a total fool of himself.

Once again, however, you’d shown nothing but compassion once you’d understood what was happening, and run off in search of cell signal the moment he’d asked. You’d talked him through it, voice gentle as you’d tried to soothe him. He’s pretty sure he’ll never forget the way you called his name, _his name,_ not Q, and told him he wasn’t alone. It was everything he’d needed so badly to hear, and even now he feels a blush begin to creep up his neck to his face at the memory. You’d even cried for him, which is probably the most incredible thing of all, and begged his forgiveness for not realizing the pain he’d gone through in the cage.

Q’s very soul aches right down into the marrow of his bones, and he forces himself upright, swinging his legs over the edge of his bed, the feeling making him restless.

You’d done him a great kindness in not only being there for him when he needed someone, but in being the very first in your world to at least try to understand what he’d been through. The first to look at him like he was really a  _ person  _ and not just a novelty or an inconvenience…

He wants to do something for you. Q wants you to understand how much your compassion and your kindness have touched him… but he has no idea on how to communicate his feelings on the matter without coming off as a complete nut, or utterly desperate. The A.I. paces up and down the length of his room for a moment, then stops next to the window when a thought occurs to him.

Maybe you don’t need to  _ know  _ he’s doing something for you. It’s the doing that matters, right? Just like with his work maintaining his world, Q doesn’t want gratitude or thanks for his actions, he just wants to make things a little better for you. 

He has money… rather a disgusting amount of it, if he’s being honest, but he knows you’d never take it. Even if he gave it anonymously he suspects you’d donate it rather than use it to make your own life easier. You’d said yourself only that afternoon that you weren’t looking for chairty. Same goes for anything he might try to buy for you. God knows you could use a new car, but again, you’d never take it and if anything the effort would probably put you off him altogether…

Q pushes aside his curtains and fiddles absently with the blinds as he stares out the window without really seeing anything. You seem to like the app he made for you well enough, at least…

Ah.

A grin spreads across the skeleton’s face and he twitches the curtains shut again before disappearing from his bedroom altogether. He reappears in the lab a moment later, barefoot and wearing a t-shirt and flannel pajama pants. As he expected, however, no one else is around, so Q doesn’t bother to collect his lab coat. He’s not here to work anyways.

The monster goes to his desk and runs a hand over its surface, activating a specific program in the process. It kicks into high gear and there’s a soft click behind Q as a section of floor disappears, revealing a hole into what appears to be a vast, empty void of white. He walks over to it, and drops in without batting an eye. The floor closes up behind him, and the program shuts down again, leaving no sign of his having been there in the first place.

Q falls for a time, feeling weightless and yet overcome by a sense of motion that has no frame of reference in all that emptiness. He kicks his legs up and he rotates gracefully so he’s falling head down now, pajamas replaced by the elaborate white and cyan admin uniform Alphys had designed for him ages before.

The true speed at which the A.I. is falling is revealed as empty whiteness is replaced by a carpet of shimmering gold that rushes towards him at an alarming pace. Q plunges into it, his passing sending out ripples among the complicated strings of code that spread like the branches of an almighty tree the size a world, a galaxy... a whole  _ universe  _ of possibility. The building blocks of his reality run deep, but it doesn’t take him long to pass through and into the emptiness on the other side. Q’s descent slows now as he orients himself, following the powerful tug that emanates from the core of him until he spies, in the interminable distance, a great, vertical pillar of golden light that flashes and glows as if in greeting.

He can’t repress the smile that tugs at his mouth at the sight, and unconsciously he reaches for that connection between himself and the world code. It takes a physical form here, looking like a golden ribbon that extends from the center of his chest towards that distant pillar, though the data therein is highly compressed to appear so. The bond between Q and his world is an immense network binding him at innumerable points that would rapidly fill the empty space around him were he to try and look at any one thread of it.

He’s rushing towards the pillar, now, and the closer he comes, the less it looks like a piece of glittering architecture, and the more it starts to look like twin trunks of a tree that have coiled inseparably around one another over the course of centuries, making the canopy of code overhead their intertwined branches.

As he reaches out to the ethereal tree, Q is struck, as he always is, by how very small he is in comparison, though he only allows himself a moment of admiration before recalling himself to the task at hand. The skeleton takes a breath, then pushes his way past the surface of the mighty structure, holding a breath he doesn’t technically need as a world’s worth of raw data rushes over him like a tide, dragging at his limbs and his clothing as it pulls him deep into its heart. 

Movements are slow here, like moving through honey, and just as golden. Q reaches out a hand and the heavy light ripples sluggishly as he summons what he requires.

As the only admin, Q can, technically speaking, make changes to the world code from anywhere, though it is always easiest here at its heart. Here he can change things with a thought. Here, intent can shift the ebb and flow of data, and he does so now, summoning the string of code that is the app he made specifically for you.

It’s a small thing, compared to the infinite complexity of the greater whole that surrounds it, but as it coils lazily around his hands and fingers with something akin to affection, Q smiles. With a gesture he expands it and allows the code to hang before him so he can inspect its facets, turning it this way and that as he considers his options. As it is, the applet allows you to contact him at any time, providing a direct line that few others have, capable of waking him even when he’s gone offline. He wants it to be of greater use, though, even if not in a way that’s immediately obvious to you.

After a few minutes thought, Q begins to add to the app, plucking strings of code from the honeyed air and carefully integrating them into the whole. It will learn about you; your likes and dislikes, the times you’re most likely to browse the internet, who you text the most… The fact that this is a little creepy doesn’t escape the A.I., inured to such things though he may be, and he adds a stipulation that it shouldn’t report this data to him, but simply feed it back into its own algorithm.

With the base built appropriately, Q reaches out once more, but this time, rather than the world code, he catches the ribbon that is his connection to the whole. At his touch, it flares out wide, a cloud of data and variables that blooms and cascades like glittering, golden smoke from his core, and he takes a moment to examine it thoughtfully. When he finds what he’s looking for, he duplicates it, then re-compresses his own code and adds what he found to the applet. It shifts to accommodate this new information, taking on Q’s own wish to be of use to you, as well as his hopes for your happiness, and a desire for your safety. It will listen when you speak, learn the timbre of your voice until it can discern if you’re afraid or crying, and in extremis, will notify him.

Q looks at his creation and hesitates, wondering if he is crossing a line. Being what he is, as  _ connected  _ as he is to everything in his world, this level of connection seems only natural, but vague thoughts of organics and their need for privacy make him doubt. 

And yet, how else can he help you? He has nothing else to give. The others need only glance at you as they pass through the room to know you’re in a bad mood, can pull you out of harm’s way when you’re in danger, hold you when you’re upset…

He can’t do any of that.

In the end, he justifies it to himself by adjusting the settings so it will only alert him when things are truly dire, though there’s a possibility there might be a few false alarms as the algorithm collects its initial data set.

There’s still something missing, though, and Q sighs to himself as he turns the program this way and that, dissatisfied with what he sees. It lacks a certain… compassion, but he’s not sure how to program that. Even in looking at his own code he can hardly discern where such a factor resides in the infinitely complex tangle of his digital soul. He’s determined, though. You’ve been so very  _ kind  _ to him, and…

Q pauses as a new, possibly dangerous idea occurs to him. Kindness and compassion go hand in hand, and you have both in spades.

He turns his gaze upwards into the golden web of data that drifts far overhead, then reaches out with one hand and  _ pulls  _ …

For a moment, nothing happens, but then the soul of kindness descends from its place within the world code where he’d left it and the others for their own protection. It pulses gently with an emerald light as it comes to rest in the palm of his outstretched hand, lingering in his there as Q pulls it in close, eyes heavy lidded against its brightness. Mimicking the gesture he’d made to expand his own code, the skeleton does so again for the soul, and watches as it blooms and expands around him in a soft, green cloud. 

The coding of this soul, and the six others that still linger somewhere overhead, is not so complicated as his own, or even any of the other A.I.s… but it is so  _ very  _ close. Q has spent many a long day in the lab studying the seven souls, which, while not truly sentient, are close enough to call a sort of proto-intelligence. Deep within them is not only a sense of autonomy, but a desire to protect their world,  _ his  _ world, and it has long been Q’s hope that they might prove the key to creating new A.I.s within the system so his people might someday procreate. Their population is a stagnate one, despite always learning and growing. Their numbers remain the same, and those that were coded as children within the game from which they all sprang remain as such now no matter how much time passes.

Perhaps, eventually, the souls might help him unlock those mysteries, but for now he has something else in mind.

Acting on instinct more than anything else, Q plunges into the core of the soul’s code, and comes out with what he can only describe as its heart. He examines it, though he knows not what for, and finds that it feels  _ right  _ for his needs, so he duplicates it and returns the soul to its natural state. With a gentle push, Q returns it to its hiding place overhead, then turns his attention back to the applet.

The fragment of kindness clicks into place as though it was destined to be there. Thus complete, the entire equation balances itself around the new components automatically and settles into a new, stable form that isa thing of beauty in the eyes of the A.I., who smiles at a job well done. After a last once over, Q activates the modified applet, and releases it to update the version on your phone so it can begin its work.

Q watches for a moment as the new string of code settles into its place overhead, then gently extricates himself from the heart of the world and returns to the lab. Once there, he transfers to his room and drops into bed with a smile on his face, pleased with his work and able to rest at long last.

* * *

“ _wow_ you boys keep early hours.”

Papyrus and Blue both gave a jolt of surprise at the sudden invasion of their quiet morning. Papyrus was seated at the bar reading a book over a cup of tea as he waited for his turn in the kitchen while Blue cobbled together a rather hodge-podge (and uncomfortably moist) looking breakfast burrito for himself. They both looked around for the source of the voice until Q whistled and waved from the screen of Blue's phone. The monster had left it propped up against the jar they used to hold their rather abused cooking utensils, and he leaned in towards it now.

When he realized who it was, Blue's expression brightened and he grinned, “MORNING, Q!”

Papyrus craned a little where he sat to get a look as well. Like Blue, he found this latest addition to their odd mish-mash of a family fascinating. It was was like having a pocket version of his own brother, though the more he came to know Q, the more he realized just how different the two actually were.

“GOOD MORNING! HOW ARE YOU TODAY?” He asks with a sunny grin that Q can’t help but return in kind.

“looking for you two, actually,” Q said, smile turning a little sly. Before either of them could become concerned by the shift, he continued, “our rather delightful landlady suggested yesterday that the two of you might be interested in helping me with a little project.”

Papyrus and Blue shared a look, and the former came around the bar into the kitchen proper so he could better hear while the latter finished wrapping his burrito and then set it aside for the moment.

“WHAT KIND OF PROJECT?” Blue asked, intrigued as he leaned against the counter and folded his arms over his chest. “A GAME?” he suggested, trying to think of just what he and Papyrus could possibly help the A.I. with.

Q chuckled, “actually, more along the lines of puzzles… i’ve heard the two of you are quite the masters.”

Papyrus’s eye sockets immediately lit up and he straightened. “INDEED WE ARE!” he proclaimed. “IF IT IS ASSISTANCE WITH PUZZLES YOU REQUIRE, THEN YOU HAVE CERTAINLY COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE!”

Blue nodded eagerly, “YEAH, OURS ARE THE BEST!” His brow wrinkled a bit as he adds, “THE OTHERS JUST DO AWFUL TRAPS THAT HURT PEOPLE, THEY WON’T BE HELPING TOO, WILL THEY?”

“no,” Q answered quickly, “i’m not looking to hurt people-” he began, only to be unexpectedly cut off by Papyrus.

“I TOLD SANS HE HAD NO REASON TO BE CONCERNED ABOUT YOU!” he said brightly, grinning beneficently down at his brother’s doppelganger. 

“RIGHT?” Blue agreed. “PAPY WAS ALL WORRIED TOO, BUT I KNEW Q WAS A GOOD GUY, JUST LIKE US!”

The A.I. stared at the pair for a moment, torn between amusement and annoyance; not at them, but at their apparently shit-talking older brothers. Not that he was terribly surprised; of  _ course  _ Stretch and Sans would warn Blue and Papyrus away from him…

That doesn’t make it sting any less.

He covered it with another smile, though, when they both turned back to look at him in unison. “SO, WHAT IS THIS PUZZLE YOU NEED HELP WITH?”

“well, it’s not a puzzle per-say,” Q admits, and Blue tilts his head curiously.

“A PUZZLE THAT IS NOT A PUZZLE? THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PUZZLE ITSELF!” he joked with a laugh while Papyrus tilted his head in that way he did rather than rolling his non-existent eyes.

“THAT’S A RIDDLE, BLUE,” he declared. “GRANTED, I AM QUITE GOOD AT THOSE AS WELL!”

“it’s a haunted house!” Q interjected before the conversation goes anymore off the rails. He was struggling not to laugh at their antics, and suddenly glad for their landlady’s suggestion that they work together. Obviously he needed someone for all the manual work, but it looked as though it was going to be a great deal more fun than he initially anticipated.

Both younger skeletons turned and stared at them before Blue’s eyes went wide and Papyrus’ grin widened. “OH! OH OH OH THAT SOUNDS AMAZING!” Blue exclaimed as he jumped delightedly from foot to foot.

“WILL WE, PERHAPS, BE CONSTRUCTING THIS HAUNTED HOUSE TO TEST THE FORTITUDE OF OUR FELLOW LODGE MATES?”

“of course,” Q replied, intrigued by the roguish flicker of light in the taller skeleton’s eye sockets. “the goal is to scare them right out of their pants, if possible,” he added with a grin of his own.

Papyrus nodded then rounded on Blue, who was taken aback by his friend’s sudden ferocity, “LETS DO IT, BLUE! LETS SCARE THEM ALL AND PROVE THAT THE PUZZLE MASTERS ARE ALSO THE MASTER OF SCARES!”

Blue’s eye sockets widened further, and then he laughed and nodded eagerly. “YEAH! THEY WON’T KNOW WHAT HIT THEM, NOT WITH ALL OF US WORKING TOGETHER!” He danced a little then clenched one hand into a tight fist as he said, “OOH AND PAPY TOO! HE’S ALWAYS SO COOL, I CAN’T WAIT TO ACTUALLY SCARE  _ HIM  _ FOR ONCE!”

As Q watched the pair talk back and forth his grin widened. Blue was right, the lodgers weren’t going to know what hit them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, hope you enjoyed! That last bit took up quite a lot more pages than I expected considering it was meant to be a short addendum... still, at least we got to see the inner workings of Q's world at long last!
> 
> Make sure to drop a review if you enjoyed and let me know your favorite part! I just love hearing that from you guys!


	6. Halloween Spooktacular

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Q, Blue and Pap's haunted house proves far more daunting than you, or the others, could have guessed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL WOW YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD I HAD TO WORK TO GET THIS DONE IN TIME DAMN. Like, there's a reason I avoid giving myself deadlines and this reminded me why XD Ah well, it was worth it, heh. This wound up so much longer than I anticipated, and I didn't even include some of the bits I wanted too with the boys arguing outside XD   
> Hope you guys enjoy, please make sure to drop a review if you do! I worked hard on this dammit! Plus, I really do love hearing what your favorite part is!
> 
> **Note:** This takes place directly after Tyrant_Tortoise's Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady trick-or-treat chapter!

Getting all of your lodgemates together and in one place at the same time is a bit like herding cats, you discover. Not just cats, but cats that group up into little factions of ‘us vs them, and them too, but those guys are okay i guess; but not  _ those guys _ . those guys are  _ fucking assholes. _ ’

Still, by some miracle from on high, you’ve managed it, and now you’re all making your way through the woods towards Q’s haunted house before setting out for your friend’s party. You’re quite the sight to behold with everyone dressed up in their costumes and ready to head out to the party once you’re done at the haunted house. Sans is wearing his skeleton onesie, and Red is looking slick in his suit and fedora as a mobster. Edge decided to go as Negan from the Walking Dead, and pulls it off  _ far  _ too well, just like Stretch is pulling off the french maid look he’d swapped into after trick-or-treating with way more grace and class then you think  _ you  _ could ever manage. Mutt’s big bad wolf outfit suits him to a t, as does Black’s kingly attire, though you’ve laughed more than once at the jaunty cant of the latter’s golden crown. Axe is still wearing his uncomfortably sexy hotdog outfit, and Crooks kept on his pirate outfit, for which you’re glad. 

Blue and Papyrus left a good fifteen minutes before the rest of you to ‘get in position’ while you were still trying to wrangle everyone else together. Well, it had been two less skeletons to keep track of at least, so you didn’t try to protest, but waved them off with a smile and an assurance that you’d all be along shortly.

There are lanterns strung along here and there from the trees on the way to the cabin, and a brief, closer inspection of them reveals they’re constructed of paper and lit from within by electric tea lights, which gives you some relief. The last thing you need is to set fire to half the property thanks to a stray breeze and some careless decorations. You feel uncharitable for the thought almost immediately. Of course Q, Papyrus, and Blue wouldn’t be so foolish as to risk such a thing.

Oof, you need a drink.

“JUST  _ WHAT  _ ARE WE DOING OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS?” Black demands from somewhere behind you. You hear Rus speak, no doubt reminding him, though his brother quickly overrides him and calls out to you instead. “ALSO, I WANT TO MAKE A NOISE COMPLAINT!”

You blink back over your shoulder at him. “What about?” you ask from where you’re walking alongside Sans, though you’re not sure when he’d managed to slide in next to you. The path that the boys have cleared out to what you’re quickly coming to think of as ‘Q’s cabin’ isn’t terribly wide, and though you hadn’t noticed, there’d been a bit of a scuffle to see who wound up next to you.

“THOSE OBNOXIOUS NEW VEHICLES OF THEIRS, OBVIOUSLY!” Black complains loudly as he pushes further up the line of monsters so he can be closer to you. He tries to shoulder Axe out of his way where he’s walking directly behind and to your left, but the other monster shoots him such a sharp look that Black actually refrains. He pretends that not pushing was  _ his  _ idea, then turns his attention back to you and continues, “ZIPPING BACK AND FORTH ALL DAY LONG MAKING NOISE AND… AND  _ LAUGHING.  _ IT’S DISGUSTING.”

You do your best to muffle a smile with one black gloved hand as you get the distinct impression that Black objects less to the noise, and more to the fact that he wasn’t invited along to ride on the pair of ATVs Q had purchased to make carting materials and tools back and forth from the lodge out to his cabin.You’d been a little surprised to see them when Blue and Papyrus had returned from town one day with them on a rented trailer, but apparently even their magic wasn’t quite up to hauling the sheer quantity of things that needed transporting without potentially losing important bits. A couple of small towing trailers had been added the next day when they’d come back from town with a bunch of lumber and a frightening number of power tools.

You’d spotted more than just Sans and Stretch watching their comings and goings with growing concern. You kept your nose firmly out of it, though, deciding that trusting Q not to get Papyrus and Blue into trouble was the best route. He hasn’t given you any reason to doubt him so far, after all, and you were glad to see him finally connecting with some of the boys.

“You know, I’m sure they’d give you a ride if you just asked, Black,” you say, deciding to call him on his bluff.

“WHAT?!” The skeleton objected. “WHY WOULD I EVEN WANT TO RIDE WITH THEM, THAT IS ABSURD, I-”

“you’re gonna drive him  _ off road  _ at this rate, sweetheart,”  Sans jokes quietly beside you, and again you’re forced to muffle a smile behind a hand.

“speaking of off road, when the hell’d this path get here?” Axe mutters from right behind you.

“Oh, it’s been here ages,” you say with an idle wave of a hand. “It was just overgrown. They probably had to clear it out to get the atvs through.”

“better’n trippin’ ass over coccyx in the dark,” Red admits and you snort a little at the mental image.

“ _ what  _ ass _ , _ ” Rus mutters from the back.

“this one right here,” Red counters with a sharp grin as he pats his backside invitingly. “you can come kiss it any damn ti-”

“ARE WE ALMOST THERE YET?!” Edge interrupts loudly, clearly uninterested in hearing anything at all about his brother’s ass, or lack thereof. 

Luckily, the bridge is in sight by now and you say, “Yep, it’s right across here!” and are the first one to cross the stream. As you pass over, you note that it has been shorn up by distinctly newer looking sections of wood, which makes you feel better and gives you the confidence to walk right over the middle rather than sticking to the edges. 

The others regard it with significantly less trust, but file across after you with minimal complaints. Despite your familiarity with the area, you nearly miss the cabin entirely, only the soft hint of a light in the distance manages to pull you in the right direction. When you finally come to a stop before it, though, your jaw drops, and you wonder if you’re actually looking at the same building.

“pretty impressive, huh peaches?” Q’s familiar baritone asks from your phone, which you’ve kept in hand the whole time on the off chance he happened to pop up. He sounds a bit smug, and you really can’t blame him; he and the boys have done a  _ hell  _ of a job not just (presumably) making the place structurally sound, but making it look far older and creepier than anything on a piece of property you own has any business looking. 

“OH, IT RATHER REMINDS ME OF HOME, HOW NICE!” Crooks chimes in brightly, and everyone but Axe turns to look at him with varying degrees of horror.

You can’t blame them, especially if, as you suspect, Crooks isn’t joking. The cabin, which had just looked a bit run down by the light of day a few weeks previous, now looks like something not only made at the turn of the last century, but inhabited by the mortal remains of the people that built it. The wood exterior appears heavily aged, the windows are smashed, and the entire front looks dizzyingly off-kilter.

“heh, what d’ya know, bro… it does,” Axe mutters darkly, fingers twitching as he struggles to keep from picking at his eye socket. More silence.

It’s Q that breaks the suffocating quiet at long last by saying, “well that is… fascinating.”

Finally pulled from your horrified reverie, you lift your phone to look at Q and find him not in his usual sweater, but a black cloak that casts his entire face in deep shadows, lit from within by his eyelights in a distinctly eerie fashion. “Q, I thought you were going to  _ fix  _ the cabin,” you say with a choked laugh.

He chuckles and winks. “don’t worry, peaches, it’s all aesthetics, i promise.”

The look you aim up at the cabin is distinctly skeptical, but you decide to believe him. After all, it isn’t as though there’s anything you can do about it now.

“ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THAT THE GHOST LITERALLY TOOK ONE OF THE CABINS AND CONVERTED IT INTO A HAUNTED HOUSE? THIS IS ABSURD,” Black says.

You glance back at the group in time to see Rus raise a hand and say, “seconded.”

“what’s wrong, boys? can’t handle a little creepy murder house out in the middle of the woods?” Q teases and Black immediately bristles. The A.I. doesn’t give him a chance to comment further, though, but asks, “so, who wants to give it a go first?”

You lift your phone a little so he can see the group, and you feel a little shiver run up your spine at the sight of the terrifyingly toothy grin he has plastered on his face under the fall of his hood. He may not have the fangs that some of the others do, but you really don’t think he needs them at this point. Honestly, you’re starting to wonder if this is such a good idea after all. You’re not  _ easy  _ to scare, per say, but you’ve really never been the type to go out of your way to  _ be  _ scared either… still, Blue and Papyrus had helped him, so it couldn’t be  _ that  _ bad, right?

You glance back at the group and when no one immediately volunteers, your confidence wavers.

“how about you, red?” Q suggests slyly when no one steps up. Red twitches a little at being called out, and when he doesn’t immediately respond, the A.I. continues, “what? not monster enough for a little walk through a house? peaches, maybe you shou-”

“oh shut up, you piece of vaporware, i’m goin’!” Red snarls and stomps off towards the front door of the haunted house before Q can continue. You catch the digital monster’s gaze on your phone screen and he winks subtly at you.

“don’t worry, red, i’m sure it’ll be  _ spooktacular, _ ” Stretch remarks with a chuckle as the other skeleton walks past. 

“cram it, beanpole,” Red grouses and mounts the front porch, which squeaks loudly with perfect cliche horror movie timing. The monster glares down at the offending floorboard like it just personally insulted his mother.

Someone snickers behind him and he whips around to glare at the lot of you before turning back to the door. When he pulls it open, the hinges creak ominously, and any comment you’d been about to make on wondering if Q wasn’t just playing sound effects from somewhere dies when you see what’s inside the door.

It’s pitch black.

You’re not entirely sure  _ how  _ it is possible for the interior of a building to be that dark, not with the door wide open the way it is and the light of the lanterns behind you shining into it. It’s like the interior of the house is swallowing the light and returning nothing at all to the eyes of all observers. In spite of himself, Sans actually whistles where he stands beside you.

Red stands there a moment longer, staring into the impenetrable depths before cursing quietly and then stepping inside. Before he makes it more than a few paces, however, the door snaps shut behind him.

You all watch in silence for a moment until the sound of machinery starts up, which makes you blink. It’s not loud, but it’s still there, and when you glance around at the others you notice them sharing confused and perturbed looks in turn. 

“Hey,” you begin to ask Q, but when you look at your phone screen, it’s blank, and you decide not to bother him. No doubt he’s doing… something in there. 

Your heart goes out to Red at the thought.

A minute passes, then two… halfway through minute three, Red reappears in your midst, panting and sweating bullets, magic dripping off of him. His eye sockets are completely dark and he asks, “h-how long?”

Stretch blinks and looks at his phone. “how long were you in there? like.... three minutes, man. three and a half, tops.”

“what?! no fuckin’ way!” he demands and snatches Stretch’s phone right out of his hand to look at the time, crimson eyelights finally returning. Noting the time he swears and throws the thing back at the taller skeleton.

“WHAT WAS IT? WHAT DID YOU SEE?!” Black demands, trying to seem haughty, but slipping right past it and into concerned curiosity.

Red looks up at the group and opens his mouth to speak as he finally starts to catch his breath. Seeing you all leaning in to hear, though, his eye sockets narrow and he shakes his head as he straightens. “nuh-uh, if i had to go into that shit blind, so do you assholes!”

“WHAT?!” Edge says as some of the others groan or try to look unconcerned by turns. “TELL ME THIS, INSTANT, SANS, OR-”

“no way, boss, not this time,” Red refuses. Before his younger brother can object again, the shorter skeleton gets a canny look and says, “besides, wouldn’t want to be the only one to resort to cheating, huh?”

Edge shuts his mouth with a click and you wink at Red when he turns and catches your eye. He doesn’t wink back, but you do see the corner of his mouth quirk up in recognition of the gesture. “alright, which one of you assholes is next?” the monster asks as he turns to the rest of the group, now clearly feeling he has the right to heckle them as the first to have tried the haunted house.

After having seen his reaction, there is still some hesitation, though now there is a great deal of curiosity mixed in. You watch as the group shifts and seems to discuss amongst themselves, though they don’t get to do so for long before Q speaks up again.

“how about you, peaches?” he asks, making you jump.

“Me?” you ask, voice squeaking traitorously as you lift your phone again to see the skeleton grinning at you. At least he’s not using his full on terror grin; you’re not sure you could handle it.

“THERE’S NO WAY THE HUMAN IS GOING IN BEFORE  _ I  _ DO,” Edge proclaims with a huff. 

“AND HE’S NOT GOING IN BEFORE  _ ME _ , SO GET IN LINE, HUMAN!” Black adds fiercely as the taller skeleton shoots him an ugly look.

“yeah, honey, let the mob break it in a little more before going, huh?” Stretch suggests kindly as he reaches out and squeezes your shoulder lightly.

Axe actually nods his agreement as he glances at you sidelong from around his costume’s bun. “stick with us, kid, we can watch the  _ bun  _ from out here.”

You’re touched by their protectiveness of you, and you smile, thinking that maybe you’ll agree and see what happens before giving it a go yourself. Unfortunately, Q is onto you, so before you can speak he remarks to the group, “what, think she can’t handle a few scares without the lot of you hovering over her like mother hens?”

The group immediately goes quiet, every eye swinging to your phone. You yourself bristle at the implication and you say, “That’s not it at all! They’re just being nice, Q-”

“sure, nice and overprotective,” he drawls and when you glance up the others, they all look varying degrees of awkward, bordering on embarrassed with the exception of Crooks, who just seems pleasantly baffled as to why everyone else is concerned about the house in question. The A.I.’s expression softens some and in a low voice says, “c’mon, peaches, humor me. i’ve got something i want to show you.”

You quirk a brow at him, but are unable to hide your intrigue at his statement. 

“in my experience, when a guy says he’s got somethin’ to show a girl in a creepy abandoned house, s’best to run the other way,” Rus muses dryly.

“yeah, you’d know first hand, i imagine,” Q shoots back sharply and the other monster rolls his eyelights but declines to comment further.

You, in turn, look at Sans. When he notices the question in your eyes, he just shrugs and says, “it’s up to you, sweetheart. don’t look at me.” He flashes you a smile, though you can’t help but note that it’s a bit tight around the edges.

Realizing you’re on your own, you weigh your options. On the one hand, you’re definitely perturbed by Red’ reaction to the haunted house. On the other, however, you’re curious about what Q wanted to show you, and unlike Rus, you didn’t suspect him of a dirty ulterior motive. The way the boys had all been so ready to have you stay outside comes to the forefront of your mind, and you find yourself bristling a little in retrospect. They thought you’d be too scared? Well you’d show them!

Making up your mind, you say, “Alright, I’m going!”

Before you can lose your nerve, you spin on heel and march right up the path to the house, nimbly jumping over the squeaky floorboard to pull open the door. From your phone, you hear Q chuckle and murmur, “that’s my girl. see you on the other side, peaches,” before disappearing, leaving your screen dark.

You nod, mostly to yourself to get hyped up, then take a step inside before turning and glancing back over your shoulder at the others.

“good luck in there, kid,” Red says, and you can’t help but notice that he’s sweating again at the sight of you walking into that inky darkness. Somehow, his words are far from comforting.

Before you can respond, the door snaps shut behind you, leaving you completely blind and utterly alone.

You automatically bring up your phone to activate your flashlight app, only to find the piece of tech completely unresponsive.

“come on now, peaches, no cheating,” Q says from somewhere within the dark, making you jump. Deep as his voice his, the A.I.’s laugh has always verged on the ominious, but it springs right over that line and into terror-town with the low, rolling chuckle that reverberates through your very  _ bones _ . Your pulse quickens alarmingly and you can already feel the little hairs at the nape of your neck standing on end when he continues. “just...start walking.”

Walking, right, you can do walking. “Well, here we go,” you mutter and do as you’re told. Considering Q has apparently rendered it useless, you tuck your phone into the pocket of your costume and start forward. When you reach out blindly with both hands, you realize that you’re able to touch both walls, though extending one overhead does not reveal the ceiling. 

Feeling a little better at this discovery, you keep moving until the sheer  _ distance  _ you’ve already traveled begins to get to you. Surely you’ve been walking for at least a minute now? And yet you still haven’t made a single turn, shouldn’t you have hit the back of the house already? The uncanniness of this makes your heart rate jump again, and you can’t help feeling unaccountably anxious as your pace picks up a little.

Are those footsteps behind you? 

You stop short and listen, and you  _ swear _ the sound stops just a fraction after you do… is there someone in the hall with you? You reach out and ask, “Pap? B-blue?”

No one answers and you feel sweat begin to bead at your temples. This dark is really starting to get to you, as is the closeness of the air. You’d thought your eyes might adjust once given a minute, but apparently the seal on the hall is perfect, as not a single ray of illumination presents itself in the oppressive, inky blackness. You start walking down the impossible hallway once more, pausing occasionally as you get more nervous by the moment as nothing continues to happen. You swear you keep hearing voices, and though you  _ know  _ it’s just Q playing audio through a speaker system, it really adds to the ambiance in a way that makes you distinctly uncomfortable.

Just how the fuck long is this hallway anyways?! How long have you been in here? No wonder Red was so disoriented when he teleported out, you have no idea if you’ve been in here one minute or twenty now, and if  _ you  _ had the ability to teleport, you’re quite certain you’d have broken down and done so already.

Something trails across your shoulders and a scream of horror tears out of you as you jump forward and lash out blindly, but your hands meet only empty air. Before you even catch your breath, something races over your boot and crawls up your leg, making you jump backwards this time with a second, louder scream, followed by a panicked, “No, no, NO!” You feel the tights of your costume snag and rip, but it barely registers in your horror.

You scrabble at your leg to knock away whatever had been trying to make it’s way towards your hip, but there’s nothing there once again. Feeling sightlessly in front of yourself with hands and feet, you realize there’s nothing there either, so you start forward, breathless but determined as you break into a jog. 

There’s  _ definitely  _ someone behind you in the hall now, louder than you, and certainly faster. Panicked, you break into a sprint, praying you don’t crash into anything in the dark, but far too terrified to even consider stopping.

Suddenly, there’s light in front of you as a door springs open and you run right through it, then find yourself falling. Another shriek of terror escapes you before cutting off abruptly as you find yourself face down in a pit of soft foam blocks. Flailing helplessly to right yourself, heart still in your throat, you scream again when something grabs both your hands and lifts you upright.

“Help!” You scream on instinct, flailing as hard as you can to get free of your captor before they can-

The sound of Papyrus calling your name makes you go still and finally open eyes you’d clenched shut tight in your fear. Your tall, lanky friend, still dressed in his knight regalia, is the one carefully lifting you free of the foam pit, and you see Blue standing near at hand, expression torn between worry and utter triumph.

“Holy  _ shit, _ ” you gasp as he carefully sets you on your unsteady feet. You reach out blindly for support, and find Blue’s hand ready to take yours and give you the help you need.

“I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!” He proclaims delightedly as you gasp for breath, heart still racing. “YOU MADE IT A WHOLE MINUTE LONGER THAN RED!

“YES, YOU WERE VERY BRAVE!” papyrus chimes in happily as he pats your shoulder.

You blink up at them, finally starting to come down from your adrenaline high. A whole minute longer… “I-I was only in there four and a half minutes?” you ask disbelievingly. God, it’d felt like  _ hours.  _

“absolute dark does funny things to a person’s sense of time,” Q muses from your phone, making you jump and gasp at the suddenness of it. You pull it out and look at him, a little relieved to see he no longer appears to be in his grim reaper get-up, but his usual blue sweater. You have half a mind to chastise him for scaring you so bad, but manage to refrain. You’d signed up for this after all, and Pap and Blue both looked so pleased that their little project had gone so well…

A beleaguered laugh escapes you and you say, “Yeah, you guys really got me. Good job.”

Blue’s smile widens and he turns to Papyrus and raises his hand for a high-five. “GOOD JOB, PARTNER!”

“YES! WE REALLY ARE NOT ONLY MASTERS OF PUZZLES, BUT TERROR AS WELL!” Papyrus says brightly and slaps his large hand against Blue’s much smaller one. He turns to you, then, and winces a little as he says, “I’M SORRY ABOUT YOUR COSTUME, A THREAD GOT CAUGHT ON MY JOINT AND IT JUST...” he gestures helplessly towards your leg and you look down at it, confused.

The costume had been okay quality, but not amazing, so the rough joints of Papyrus’ hand had managed to not only yank out an entire stretch of seam from calf to mid-thigh, but rent the lightweight fabric across the knee as well.

“Oh no!” You exclaim, horrified at the damage, making Papyrus wince and apologize again. “No,” you say when you look up and see his unhappy expression. “It’s okay, Pap, I know you didn’t do it on purpose. I’ll just… well, I’ll figure something out,” you muse with a hapless smile.

Before the skeleton can apologize again, Q speaks up, “don’t worry about it, peaches, i’ve got a backup.”

You, blue, and Pap all look at your phone in surprise. “What, seriously?” you ask with a blink.

“yeah, thought something like this might happen when i saw the quality of the costume, so i ordered a back-up,” he informs you matter-of-factly. The truth of the matter, of course, is that he had  _ actually  _ suspected one of the other lodgers might resort to espionage and damage your costume intentionally as an excuse for you to wear  _ their  _ choice. Accidental damage had always been a possibility, but certainly not his first guess. Still, whatever the cause of it, he’s glad his natural paranoia made him think ahead.

“Wow, thanks,” you say, still a little gobsmacked at Q’s forethought. “I feel bad, though! Let me know how much it was and I’ll pay you back, okay?”

He waves you off, “my treat, peaches. This version was… a bit more expensive, so it’d hardly be fair for me to ask you to repay me. Not that i need you to anyways,” he muses with the arch of a brow that reminds you that all of your friends are independently wealthy. 

Flushing a little, you nod reluctantly, curious as to why his second version of the costume was so much more expensive. You don’t get a chance to ask him, though, as he tells Papyrus and Blue “you’d better reset everything and i’ll send the next one through so we’re not here all night.”

Your friends nod readily, then head back inside. Your gaze follows them and you realize that the back of the cabin looks much more normal than the front, reassuring you that Q’s assertion that the changes had all been aesthetic was true. There’s a backdoor set into the wall, below which the boys had apparently dug a pit and filled it with foam blocks to allow not only for the alarming drop you’d suffered, but the soft landing as well.

“So, what did you want to show me?” you ask Q once Papyrus and Blue have squeezed around the pit and gone back through the door within.

He grins at you and says, “see that window to your left? go ahead and climb through and head upstairs. I’ll meet you there.”

With that, he leaves you alone again, and you realize that there is indeed a large window set into the wall a few feet to the left of the door. As you approach it, you realize that it’s not just open, but that the glass panes have been removed altogether and set carefully aside. A stepstool just below the aperture allows you to climb in easily enough, though you  _ are  _ glad that your costume doesn’t involve a skirt to hamper your attempt.

You find yourself in a back hallway with a set of narrow stairs just ahead. They look a tad rickety, but prove stable enough when you put your weight on them, so you jog up them to the door at the top. You push your way into the room beyond and find it crammed to the gills with computer gear, just as you’d suspected it’d be. On the wall are two large monitors, one of which is currently taken up by Q’s smiling visage as he watches you enter. The other is split between several different camera feeds. 

There’s a chair squeezed into the limited space in front of the main desk, and you settle into it when Q waves towards it in silent invitation. You find yourself still feeling oddly anxious, which is strange, considering you  _ know  _ you have nothing to worry about. The AI on the screen points to a pair of headphones that have been left on the desk, so you grab them up and slip them over your ears just as the door behind you swings shut automatically. Strangely enough, that nervous feeling scratching at the back of your brain lessens abruptly, and you blink.

“feel better?” Q asks with a lopsided grin through the headphones.

“I… yeah,” you say and give him a quizzical look. “How did you-”

The monster’s smile turns downright wicked as he says, “i’m pumping infrasound throughout the area via the speaker system. one of my cleverer ideas, if i do say so myself.” When you just give him a confused look, he clarifies, “infrasound is sound waves below human, and most monster’s, threshold of hearing, but your body can still  _ feel  _ it. In most people it inspires fear and dread, which is why you were still feeling on edge. i’ve got soundproofing in here, though, so you’re safe.”

You stare at him for a minute, then say, “Q, that’s  _ awful. _ ” You pause a moment, then admit with a rueful smile, “But… kinda genius too.”

He laughs, and you’re glad that the sound is no longer terrifying to you. “thanks, peaches. so, you ready for the show?”

You nod eagerly and lean forward in your seat a little as you turn your gaze to the second monitor with the split video feed. There’s a camera outside the cabin, and as you watch, Sans approaches the front steps and enters the cabin, at which point he shows up on two other feeds. Another shows what appears to be the  _ actual  _ interior of the cabin, where you can see Blue and Papyrus standing on either side of a long, straight structure that runs from the front door, all the way through the gutted building to the back. 

The black hallway, you realize, studying the screen closely, brow furrowed as you try to figure out just how it is Q managed to make you walk in a straight line for over  _ four minutes  _ without reaching the backdoor.

Sans starts forward, and you realize that the cameras in the black hallway are infrared, judging by the strange coloration. “Why not night vision?” You ask Q curiously.

You don’t realize it, but while you’ve been watching the screen, he’s been watching  _ you,  _ delighted by your intrigue as you try to figure out his, Pap, and Blue’s cunning puzzle. The way your brow furrows when you think, he’s realized, is utterly adorable. 

He manages to recover before you notice, and he answers, “for night vision cameras to work,there has to be  _ some  _ ambient light. Not only did we seal that machine up tight, though, we painted the interior in vantablack.”

Your eyebrows shoot up at this news, “wait, you mean the ultra black dye that guy made and copyrighted? How did you even-” you begin, but your words drop away at the smug look on the monster’s face. “Nevermind,” you muse with a huff. As you turn your attention back to the screens. 

Sans has made it three quarters of the way down the hall now, and your eyes go wide as a divide drops down between the first half of the hall and the second before the entire first section lifts into the air on large piston driven arms. Your attention darts between the camera in the hall, and the ones outside as the second half slides slowly backwards at the same pace Sans is walking forward. When it reaches the front door, the first half slips down into its place and the divide lifts, allowing Sans’ walk to continue unimpeded.

Your jaw drops and you turn to stare at Q, who laughs in delight at your reaction. “impressed?” he asks, waggling his eyebrows at you in a fashion that tells you he already  _ knows  _ you are.

“I...yeah! Holy shit, I can’t believe you guys built all this! No wonder you’ve been carting so much stuff back and forth!” you exclaim, awed and grinning in delight at the truly impressive feat of engineering.

“blue and papyrus were a huge help,” Q says honestly. The two other skeletons hadn’t just been his hands in building the thing, after all, they’d helped him design it after he’d proposed the initial concept. Well… technically speaking it had been his  _ second  _ concept, but he’d never shown them the first. After running it by his own brother and a few of their friends only to have the idea shot down for being far too much along the lines of ‘cruel and unusual punishment’ and ‘potentially psychologically scarring’, he’d ditched it and gone with his plan b.

Honestly, you design a haunted house based off your own experiences in hopes of getting people to understand a little of what your life was like and suddenly everyone gets up in arms…

He smiles at you now, though, utterly pleased with the results of his efforts. There’s no way he would have let you go through his plan A haunted house, and in retrospect he rather thinks you wouldn’t have been impressed by a project that left the rest of your friends mentally scarred and suffering nightmares… yeah, this lighter version had definitely been the way to go. 

“What’s Sans doing?” you ask curiously when, after the third time through the full length of the hall, your friend crouches down and runs his hand across the floor in front of him, and along the corner where it meets the wall. He even shuffles forward like that, feeling for what, you do not know.

A soft huff of amusement escapes Q and you glance at him in silent question. His smile is an odd mix of sour and smug when he answers. “thought as much. according to my own ‘backstory’ in the game, he designed something similar in his own room, but using a treadmill,” Q explains, and you blink in surprise. “‘course, the problem with treadmills is that it’s much harder to disguise the forward momentum, so it doesn’t take long for people to catch on. It’s why we built this the way we did.”

“Oh,” you say, impressed by the forethought before turning to watch more. It’s not long before Sans’ normally relaxed, ambling pace begins to pick up as the peculiarity of the hall, no doubt combined with the infrasound being pumped through the speakers, finally begins to get to him. A thought occurs to you, and you ask, “I could hear the machinery from outside, but I couldn’t from the inside, did you soundproof the hallway too?”

Q nods, clearly pleased that you noticed. “yep. there’s separate speakers for inside the hall so the infrasound it still doing it’s job, plus whatever ambient sounds i feel like throwing into the mix.”

On the screen in front of you, you see Papyrus and Blue both wielding twin tablets that appear to have the same video feed of the hallway you’re watching playing on them. They move into position, and then Papyrus pushes his hand through what appears to be a hole in the wall and trails a bit of fabric across the back of Sans’ neck before hastily yanking his hand back through. The inside of the cabin is dark enough that both boys are forced to wear nightvision goggles to see what they’re doing, and you can only guess that the holes in the wall are blocked just by the sound proofing foam with a slit cut to allow their hands to pass.

Sans jumps forward at the contact and spins, just as you had, and starts off quickly again. Blue follows it up by reaching in through a lower hole and dragging his hand across Sans’ ankle. The monster breaks into a jog now, and you watch as the machinery works to keep pace while Q laughs to himself. You almost chide him, but think better of it when you take a moment to consider the history between the two. You’d rather they got along, but you also know that expecting them to do so without a  _ little  _ payback along the way is naive, so you keep your mouth shut.

Eventually, after Papyrus and Blue both snatch at Sans’ jacket again, the skeleton breaks and teleports away, reappearing out front among the others, who look startled, though Red just looks smug and a little vindicated.

There’s no audio for out there, nor was there for in the hallway, but it doesn’t take much imagination to figure they’re grilling him the same way they had Red. Just like his doppelganger, though, Sans waves them off.

“You told them I was up here, right?” You ask suddenly, realizing they might have been worried.

“yeah,” Q replies with a wave of his hand, grin turning just a little wicked. “they weren’t pleased i’d kidnapped their princess and hidden her in another castle, but i figure it’s my right.”

“Oh?” you ask with a challenging arch of your brow, at which Q flushes a little while the hallways reset themselves. 

He’s completely unrepentant, however, when he replies. “well, yeah. we’re wearing matching costumes, right? that means i get dibs on your attention tonight.” Despite his confident tone, the way he flicks his eyelights between whatever screen he’s looking at on his end and your face is almost shy, as though he half expects you to shoot him down for his forwardness.

Instead, you feel a blush crawling up your neck and you laugh a little. “Does it?” you ask, then after a moment’s consideration, say, “Well, that makes sense to me, I guess. No point in matching if we’re not seen together, right?”

Q’s eye sockets widen fractionally, as though he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing. That doesn’t stop him from quickly answering, “r-right! see, that’s what i told them and they tried to object.”

You laugh again, and he grins, a surge of relief at your ready cooperation with his less than subtle play for your time and attention rushing through his digital soul. Luckily, getting the other monsters to nominate the next volunteer for the haunted house takes only a fraction of his attention, so he’s able to do it simultaneously to speaking with you, streamlining the process somewhat. One of the benefits of being an artificial intelligence; the ability to genuinely multitask. 

Stretch winds up volunteering to go, and is the first of the skeletons not to teleport to freedom, though like you, he’s moving at a dead sprint by the time he finally escapes, droplets of orange magic dripping from his skull. His frilly maid skirt swishing around his long legs sends both you and Q into gales of laughter that only redoubles when he lands head down in the foam pit, flashing his boxes for all to see. You’re not sure what kind of audio Q is playing over the speakers that made him so twitchy, but Blue can’t even help his brother out of the pit he’s laughing so hard, leaving the effort to Papyrus who drags his doppelganger out and sets him right again.

After Stretch comes Rus, and unlike the others, this skeleton never quite breaks into a run. Q actually frowns and narrows his eyes partway through, and seems to step up his efforts with the audio. By the end of it, Rus is clearly on edge, despite his determinedly steady pace, but that is far from good enough for Blue. He takes a risk and shoves his arm through one of the arm holes all the way up to the shoulder, then rakes his hand lightly up his victim’s spine, finally making Rus jump and take a few bounding steps away towards where the end of the hall finally appears, and he tumbles out into empty air. Unlike the others, though, he teleports partway through and lands on his feet at the other side, though a little unsteadily.

You laugh and shake your head while Q huffs, amusement clear, though it’s obvious he wishes he’d gotten a bigger reaction from the other monster. “who’s next, who’s next...” he mumbles to himself while the others discuss it amongst themselves. Edge and Black appear to be having an argument. To both your surprise, however, the pair of them approach the haunted house and enter at the same time.

“Uh, do you think the hall can handle two of them?” you ask, immediately concerned as you glance over at Q.

The skeleton has one brow arched as he answers slowly, “they’re well within the weight limit for the machinery… i’m just not sure how pap and blue will manage.”

You turn your attention back to the screen with the video feeds and see that Papyrus and Blue have both noticed this change in protocol as well, and seem to be making plans among themselves to compensate for the shift.

As it turns out, it wasn’t Papyrus and Blue you all needed to worry about. 

You watch as Edge and Black make their way down the hall, shouldering one another irritably occasionally, and, frankly, freaking one another out every time they accidentally brush against the other. You don’t need high def cameras to know that they’re working one another up into a near panicked, angry frenzy.

“oooh this is going to end in tears,” Q says as he watches the feed and pinches the bridge of his nose between finger and thumb.

Sure enough, when Papyrus reaches through one of the holes and brushes his scrap of gauzy fabric across Edge’s neck, everything goes straight to hell. The monster screams and jumps, cannoning directly into Black, who panics in turn at suddenly being pinned. There’s a burst of light as first purple, and then crimson magic erupt through the walls of the hall and shake the entire cabin so hard you topple out of your seat with a startled yelp.Up on the video feed, Papyrus and Blue make a break for the nearest exit as a second, more concentrated blast takes out the hall and an entire section of roof. You feel the floor beneath you shift alarmingly.

“Q?” You gasp and scramble for your seat as there’s a sudden cacophony of alarming creaks and groans from the building around you.

The A.I. doesn’t hesitate, he reaches out to the first phone he can reach that’s on and says, “sans, come get her,  _ now!  _ front left hand corner of the second story.”

Apparently the monster didn’t need telling twice, as a second later, Sans is there in the cramped room with you and scooping you up into his arms without so much as a by-your-leave. As you throw your own reflexively around his neck and he twists into his teleport, you catch a glimpse of Q’s face on his monitor, hurt and fury plain to see there as his hard work comes crashing down.

There’s a dizzying moment of darkness so deep it reminds you of Q’s hallway, and then you’re outside where your started, surrounded by the others who are all staring up at the cabin with expressions ranging from amused to concerned. There’s no sign of Edge or Black yet, and you notice that Rus and Red are both nowhere to be seen either.

“you alright there, kid?” Sans asks as he puts you back on your feet and gives you a concerned once over.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you tell him with a smile. “Just fell out of my chair is all. How about the others?” you ask, eyes goes back to the cabin, flinching when you realize that a sizeable portion of the roof is missing once more, and the left wall is riddled with holes.

Red, Edge, Rus, Black, Papyrus, and Blue all reappear a moment later, and you heave a sigh of relief when you see everyone appears unharmed, though both Stretch and Sans hurry forward to make doubly sure.

“WHAT A SHAME,” Crooks muses as he looks over the unsettled group. “I WAS QUITE LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING WHAT IT WAS YOUR STRANGE, DIGITAL COPY WAS HIDING IN THERE THAT SO UPSET EVERYONE.”

“yeah,” axe muttered as his crimson eyelight slid sideways to rest on you. “you and me both, bro.”

“It was super neat, actually,” you say with a rueful smile as you all start walking back towards the cabin.

“IT MOST CERTAINLY WAS NOT!” Edge grouses.

“AGREED,” says Black with a huff from where he walks next to his brother some ways behind you as you fall in step with Axe and Crooks. “IT WAS FAR TOO DARK, AND NOT AT ALL SCARY.”

“NOT AT ALL,” Edge agrees.

Red and Rus both make no comment, though you catch Stretch placing a hand on Blue’s shoulder to keep him from challenging them outright. Papyrus also seems a little hurt, but whatever it is Sans leans in and murmurs to him seems to lighten his mood until he smiles once again.

“looks like it did a number on your costume, whatever it was,” Axe remarks as he notices the rip in the leg of your outfit.

Several pairs of eyes swivel around to note this as well, and Red is the first to speak up, saying, “y’know, doll, wouldn’t want you to go to the party lookin’ a mess… i might have something you could wear,” in a tone that is  _ far  _ too innocent.

“WHAT? NO! WHY WOULD SHE WANT TO WEAR YOUR SHABBY COSTUME WHEN SHE COULD BE DRESSED AS ROYALTY?” Black cuts in with a dismissive wave. “I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE-”

You laugh and throw your hands up defensively, “Guys, don’t worry about it! Q already told me he has a backup ready back at the lodge, I’ll be fine.” You smile beneficently at them, despite the fact that none of them seem particularly reassured by this fact. “Thanks, though, you’re really sweet, looking out for me like that.”

Your kind words seem to put them at ease to some small degree, but when your back is turned and you’re telling Axe and Crooks all about Q’s haunted house, more than one of them throws an ugly look back at the cabin.

* * *

Back at the lodge proper, those involved in the unexpectedly explosive conclusion to the haunted house adventure are getting cleaned up, and  _ you’re  _ getting changed into your new costume. Q had kept it stashed down in his room in the basement, still sealed with packing tape, and now you’re up in your room tugging on the boots that came with it, awed by the quality.

It couldn’t have been cheap, and suddenly you understand why he’d insisted you not pay him back. This isn’t just an off brand version of Quorra’s outfit from Tron: Legacy made of cheap materials for a one time wear to a halloween party… this is professional level cosplay tailored to your exact measurements, though you’re not sure how Q managed  _ that _ detail. The fact that you look  _ amazing  _ in the skin tight black outfit and accompanying boots makes you willing to overlook that little question for the time being as you turn this way and that to admire yourself in the mirror, though.

“how’s it lookin, peaches?” Q asks as he appears on your tv screen, though the camera just below it isn’t turned on, so you know he’s not spying.

“Q, I can’t possibly accept this, it’s ridiculous. It’s too nice,” you tell him as you turn and approach the tv.

“hey, look, if you’re going to be dressing up with  _ me _ , then we’re not just gonna match, we’re gonna look fly as hell, okay?” he says with a downright cocky grin. A moment later, it fades into something wistful as he asks, “can i see?”

You cross your arms over your chest but laugh, unable to deny him. “Yeah, alright.”

The light to your playstation camera kicks on and you’re gratified by the way Q’s eyes go wide and a low, appreciate whistle escapes him. “hot  _ damn,  _ peaches,” he mutters as he looks you over, and you feel that familiar blush creeping up the back of your neck again. “give us a turn?” he asks with a grin as he twirls his finger in the air.

You roll your eyes a little, but smile and do as you’re asked, letting your hands drop from your chest to your sides. “But seriously, Q, you’ve gotta at least let me pay you half, there’s no  _ way  _ this was cheap. I mean, it’s even got a removeable data disk accessory for goodness sake!”

“not a snowball’s chance in hell,” he tells you with a grin. Before you can object, he says, “hey, you know that little black rectangle on your back?” You nod, it was built into the lower back of the suit, just like it had been in the movie. “yeah, well, there’s a little switch along the back of it, why don’t you give that a flip for me.”

Your brow furrows, but you reach behind you as instructed, and after a moment’s blind feeling, your gloved fingertips find what you’re looking for. When you engage the switch, the white sections of your suit light up, making you jump in surprise. “Holy crap!” You exclaim, delighted and amazed by this impressive detail. “No way, that’s amazing!”

“Right?” Q agrees, grinning broadly when you turn your wondering gaze to meet his. He pulls up a menu that hangs in the air before him for a moment as he selects something, and when he dismisses it, his own attire changes from his familiar blue sweater, to a hooded black and white costume not unlike his white admin uniform in design. Like your own, the white sections glow and he shoots you a cheeky wink when he catches you staring.

“see? now we  _ really  _ match,” he says, and you have to agree. There’s no way your original costume even  _ began  _ to compare to the intricacy of Q’s, but now… Well, now you both look like you just stepped out of a movie screen.

Well,  _ you  _ do, anyways. Q looks like he’s still  _ in  _ the movie.

You give up trying to convince him to let you pay him back, and just laugh. “Okay, okay, you’re right. We look cool as hell, I admit it.”

The A.I.’s grin widens and he says, “and don’t you forget it, peaches.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, hope you guys got a kick out of these spooky shenanigans! Make sure to leave a comment and let me know what your favorite part was!


	7. Brotherly Advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **IMPORTANT** : So part one of this chapter takes place a day or two after chapter FIVE of Skeleton ex Machina, and part two takes place immediately after chapter TWENTY-FOUR of Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady by Tyrant_Tortoise!
> 
> Just a bit of a catch-all chapter here, but hope you like it regardless!
> 
> Also, DID YOU KNOW that you can ask Q questions over at my undertale blog [jolie-in-the-underground](https://jolie-in-the-underground.tumblr.com/)? Me too, of course, but we all know you're really here for Q, lol. I also occasionally post exclusive bonus SeM content there!
> 
> Make sure to drop a review if you enjoyed, and let me know what your favorite part was!  
> Like my work but don't wanna leave a comment? consider buying me a **[ko-fi](ko-fi.com/joliemariella%20)** instead!

**Part One**

(takes place a day or two after chapter 5 of Skeleton ex Machina)

“Sans, seriously man, will you take a damn break for like, _five minutes_?”

Q gave a start and glanced up from his open windows to see Undyne shooting him a wry, though vaguely annoyed look from across the booth. She was lounging in her seat with one arm slung across Alphys’ shoulder, who also regarded him with some concern. Unlike her much taller girlfriend, though, the scientist knew that for all his claims to laziness, Q very rarely took an actual break, even while he was out drinking with friends.

“what? i’m not working,” he replied with a smirk as his fingers flew across the screen while he made adjustments to the schematics thereon.

In the seat beside him, Papyrus leaned over to get a look at what he was doing, and squinted a little at what he found. “WHAT _ARE_ YOU DOING, THEN? ARE YOU BUILDING A HOUSE?”

Interest piqued, Undyne leaned forward and tried to flip Q’s screen around, only to have her fingers pass right through when the window proved to be on a private setting that wouldn’t let others interact with it. “C’mon, if you’re not going to join the conversation, at least share why you’re distracted,” she complained.

Q rolled his eyelights and sat back in the booth a little just as Grillby arrived with their drinks on a tray and passed them out, bending around Gaster where he sat at the end of the table to do so. The bar, ever in a constant state of flux when it came to its interior design, was made up like an old fashioned speakeasy this evening. It was quite dark and small, but in an intimate way, especially with all the booths arranged the way they were. Smoke hung in the air, adding to the general vibe, though from what Q could tell, no one in the bar was actually smoking at the moment. There was a small stage at one end where Shyren was singing and playing piano, a soft, mournful jazz number that went perfectly with the setting.

The A.I. absently ran his fingers over the red velvet cushion of the booth before grabbing up his drink and taking a sip. They’d all gone for a glass of echoflower liquor, favored by most patrons of Grillby’s bar thanks to its uniquely sweet but robust flavor that Q and the fire monster had worked on developing together. The taste project was coming along, and Q hoped to have another breakthrough soon, but in the meantime, echoflower liquor really was one of the best tasting drinks on tap.

“ _YOU DECIDED TO GO THROUGH WITH YOUR HAUNTED HOUSE IDEA AFTER ALL?_ ” Gaster asked, making Q grimace a little as he was called out while Papyrus and Undyne turned to look at him curiously.

“Oh!” Alphys said, brightening as she too recalled the offhanded mention of the subject Q had made a few days previous. “That’s right! You were going to ask some of the neighbors upstairs to help build it, weren’t you?” she asked, hopeful that this was still the case. The landlady wasn’t the only one hoping Q could make more personal connections with their non-digital counterparts ‘upstairs’ as they had come to call it for the sake of simplicity.

Realizing the gig was up, Q released a huff of amusement and pushed the screen towards Undyne who caught it with a deft hand  and leaned to one side so Papyrus, Gaster, and Grillby could could get a look as well. They all scooted in to do so while Q sat back and sipped at his drink, enjoying the cool, bright feeling of the liquor over his tongue, absently wondering what his landlady upstairs would think of it. He’d heard she’d already had some experience with magic based alcohol on freedom day not too long ago and enjoyed it, so he felt confident she’d like this as well. He just needed to finish up the V.R. so he could get her in here to give it a try…

Movement from the other side of the booth dragged Q’s attention back to his friends, and he blinked to find them all staring at him with varying degrees of concern and alarm. “what?” he asked, hand automatically going to his face, half expecting to find some glitch in his features. When he found nothing, he twisted to look behind him, suspecting something must be unfolding there, only to find nothing. When he turned back around, their discomfiture had only increased, making him frown and ask again, “ _what_?”

It was Alphys that finally broke the silence as she awkwardly cleared her throat and said, “Um… Sans, don’t you think this is a little-” she waved a clawed hand vaguely at the screen that still hung in the air in front of them. “-intense?” she finished awkwardly, shoulders going up at his confused look.

“what do you mean?” he asked, brow furrowing as he leaned forward and took the screen back to look it over again. Everything seemed in order to him. “what’s the point of a haunted house if it doesn’t _scare_ them?”

Gaster and Grillby shared a look and Papyrus’ worried expression only deepened. Undyne, however, threw her hands in the air and said, “Dude, you’re supposed to _scare_ them, not scar them for life!” He blinked at her, and the fish monster rolled her one good eye and leaned across the table to tap at the screen, pulling up some of the sub windows with the details of each aspect of the project and said, “Sensory deprivation? Synthesized audio of their brothers screaming for help? Sleep paralysis simulations...?”

“well, yeah?” Q said, quirking a brow as he looked up from the screen to glance around the table at his friends. Their expressions were starting to get to him, though, and he wondered if maybe he hadn’t gone a little overboard. “i guess maybe the screaming might be a bit much,” he admitted, absently scratching the side of his nasal ridge. “i was just going off the kind of stuff that scares _me_ , honestly.”

Almost as one, his friends flinched, though he didn’t notice. Papyrus opened his mouth to speak, though it took a moment for him to decide on the right words. “WOULD YOU REALLY WANT TO PUT THE LANDLADY THROUGH ALL THAT?” he asked finally, deciding to come at things sideways on the subject since it was clear that his brother didn’t particularly mind inflicting this house of tortures on at least some of their neighbors upstairs.

“ **_n o_ ** ,” Q answered immediately, his soul viscerally repulsed by the very idea. A moment later, things clicked into place for him and he realized just how hard he’d gone designing the haunted house. The project had become twisted at some point, turning from a fun way to get a few scares out of their neighbors into an opportunity to make Sans, Red, and Stretch go through some small fraction of the hell he himself had experienced while locked up in the cage they had designed for him. He hadn’t realized it until then, but he’d been designing the haunted house just for them. Q hadn’t even considered what he’d do for any of the others that were supposed to go through it. A long, tired sigh escaped him and he sagged back in the booth some and closed the window. “shit.”

Despite his disappointment in himself, the others seemed relieved. “You’ll come up with something else,” Grillby said reassuringly. When he glanced around and noted that a few more customers had come in, he paused just long enough to bend over and land a kiss on the crown of Gaster’s head, saying, “Gotta run, I’ll be back in a bit when things slow down.”

The void monster blinked a little in surprise at the public show of affection, then flushed when Undyne and Alphys burst into cries of delighted and amused disbelief while his boyfriend retreated.

Q just chuckled a little at their noise, then glanced over at his brother, who was still looking at him. Papyrus still appeared concerned, though not quite so badly as a moment before, at least. “so, you wanna help me design a new one?” he asked.

Papyrus considered the offer for a moment, which surprised Q, though not so much as his answer did. “I COULD,” the taller skeleton replied confidently with a smile as he took a sip of his drink before continuing. “BUT, NO, I DON’T THINK I WILL.”

Q’s brows shot up and he flashed his brother a wry grin, “what, too good for a mere haunted house these days, pap?”

The other monster snorted lightly. “OF COURSE NOT. HOWEVER, I THINK PERHAPS OUR DOPPELGANGERS UPSTAIRS MIGHT BE A MORE PRACTICAL CHOICE, CONSIDERING YOU’VE ALREADY ASKED THEM TO HELP BUILD IT.”

It was a good point, though Q couldn’t say he wasn’t a little disappointed. It’d been awhile since he and his brother had undertaken a project to work on together, busy as they both were with their own work these days.

Seeing the hesitation in Q’s expression, Papyrus added, “IF YOU LIKE, THOUGH, I CAN CHECK THEIR WORK TO MAKE SURE IT IS UP TO STANDARD BEFORE YOU START BUILDING!”

Recognizing the offer for the compromise it was, Q smiled and nodded, then held his glass up and said, “deal.”

Papyrus chuckled and clinked his glass lightly against his brother’s. Together, they both took a drink and turned their attention to the rest of the table, which still appeared to be in an uproar.

“okay okay, G, c’mon, fess up, how long you and grillbz been a thing?” Q asked and grinned, his voice cutting over the noise and drawing their attention back to him. His fellow scientist looked ready to ooze right out of his chair at the barrage of questions, angular features still flushed.When he didn’t immediately get an answer, Q continued, “hey, man, i’m happy for you. you really landed yourself a _hot_ one.”

“I’VE HEARD HE’S A REAL _FIRE_ CRACKER IN HIS OFF HOURS,” Papyrus added, making Q snort his drink, which drew a smile back to Gaster’s face as his co-worker mopped at his face with a napkin.

* * *

 

**Part Two**

(takes place immediately after chapter TWENTY-FOUR of Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady by Tyrant_Tortoise)

It’s late by the time everyone makes it back to the lodge, and Q doesn’t leave your phone until you’re safely inside and heading upstairs to change and go to bed.

Much to his relief, you hadn’t relapsed into tears again for the rest of the night. In fact, his pep talk seemed to have worked so well that you forgot all about the former friend who had hurt you so badly as to send you crying into the nearest empty room, for which he was glad. He had meant every word, after all, and though he found it a daily struggle to apply the same advice to his own life, he was glad it seemed to be working out a little easier for you.

He’s been so hellbent on revenge for so very long that, some days, the concept of forgiveness of self or others feels like an impossible task to the A.I.. There’s a bitterness in the core of his soul that has proved slow to shift, though your own good example has made Q stubbornly refuse to let its rot spread any further, even if removing it altogether is proving more difficult by the day. Seeing the way you rallied at his advice gives him hope, however. Hope that maybe, someday, that simmering anger and hate that burns constantly beneath the surface of his mind will finally ebb and allow him to feel at peace again.

When the skeleton leaves your phone, he reappears in front of his home in snowdin still dressed in his costume, feeling oddly reluctant to change back into his usual attire. Before entering, Q pauses and looks up the length of the street for a thoughtful moment, head full of you and the way you’d leaned in and given his screen a kiss after he’d comforted you.

His soul flutters at the memory, and he lifts one gloved hand to rub absently at his sternum in an unconscious attempt to soothe the ache there.

He really did catch you crying a lot, it seemed. Q wished you wouldn’t; not because it made him uncomfortable, but because he wanted you to be happy. In his mind, kindhearted people such  as yourself _deserve_ to be happy, much more so than jaded assholes with anger issues such as himself. And yet it’s always you managing to make _him_ smile, brightening peoples’ days wherever you go without ever even realizing it… Does he even _begin_ to bring you that kind of happiness?

He tries, dammit; _he tries._ The fact that you had gone out of your way to find a way to include him in the party so he wouldn’t feel left out as the only non-physical being there meant more than he’d really been able to express. Little gestures like that come second nature to you, and he has no idea how he can possibly return the favor.

Well, at least his modifications to the app he’d made for you worked like a charm this evening.

Just as he’d hoped, the program has been listening to you; not recording, but learning the cadence of your voice and applying carefully calculated vocal range data sets to determine your mood. For the first day or two there had been a handful of misfires, and when Q had checked in on you to find that Stretch had only managed to make you laugh so hard you cried with his latest venture into the world of comical cross-dressing, he tweaked the settings a little. They’d died down after that, and tonight it had worked like a charm. Granted, he hadn’t expected the program to have a direct line into his head the way it apparently does. Rather than receiving a normal system alert when the program triggered, it reached out to him directly, like he’d programmed himself with ‘spidey-senses’ that applied only to your emotional wellbeing. Considering he’d used a section of his own coding to improve the thing, however, he supposes he shouldn’t be surprised. No doubt some strings of code had merged or crossed somewhere in the making of it, resulting in this unexpected link between he and it.

Regardless, he’d gone in half expecting another misfire considering how much fun you’d been having all evening dancing with the other lodgers. Q had been momentarily taken off guard when he realized you really _were_ crying this time, and it hadn’t taken a genius intellect such as his own to realize that whatever had been bothering you at the start of the party had come back with a vengeance, leaving you alone in a strange bedroom crying your eyes out with no one else the wiser.

Comforting people has never been a particular strong suit of his, but ever since his time spent in the cage before you freed him, well… he knows he’s only gotten worse at it. He’s seen it in the faces of his friends when he completely missed some cue that they had been looking for sympathy and told them ‘it could be worse’ instead. Being stuck by himself for so long left the A.I. with a strained sense of empathy and a habit of turning inward, away from those around him, rather than reaching out to his friends for help. He knows this bothers his brother in particular, and though he is trying hard to break the habit, it’s a daily struggle for Q.

Rusty as he is, Q had been so worried he’d mess up and make things worse for you that he’d nearly reached out to one of the other monsters at the party. Papyrus was good at this sort of thing, and so were Blue. Hell, just about _anyone_ would have been a better choice to comfort you, and yet… and yet you’ve done so much for him that he wanted to try, for your sake. You’d been reluctant to talk to him, after all, and it was possible that you’d just clam up if he took the time to get someone else up there to talk to you in his stead. He knew you wouldn’t want to bother them, but he had already been there and you’d been crying, so he…

So he tried.

He tried not to give you advice at all. Instead, he turned the lessons you’ve taught him back on you, using the words he’s been clinging to, trying to live by for the sake of becoming the person you seem to think he is. The kind of person that can give good, heartfelt advice to a friend in need.

After all you'd comforted him in his time of need when he'd been stranded on your phone in the forest, the least he could do was try to return the favor.

By some miracle, it had worked. He'd not only managed to assuage your tears, but cheer you up enough to get you back out into the party. You'd kissed his screen out of gratitude, even, and then danced with him... Funny how the divide between his world and the physical one had never bothered him until he'd met you. Once you'd had your dance with him, all he could do was watch as the other lodgers cut in, whisking you away, hips bumping yours, hands drifting over your shoulders, your back, your hips...

He’s still surprised his eyelights hadn't literally gone green with envy.

He'd refused to let it show, though, not just for the sake of his own pride, but for you. You'd managed to cheer up and he wasn't about to be the one to make you uncomfortable by sulking just because you were having fun dancing with the others. He'd sulk later in the privacy of his room.

Q gives himself a brief shake and the fact that it had started snowing while he stood there lost in thought finally registered. Big, fat flakes drift slowly from the shadows overhead and past the deep, black cowl that shield his features from view.

“OH, SANS!” Papyrus says, startled when he appears directly at his brother’s side in front of the house, making Q jump with the suddenness of his arrival.

“hey, bro,” the older skeleton says with a lopsided smile up at his sibling, who is also still in costume. He'd gone as the grim reaper to the Halloween festival this year, and his height loans him an ominous presence when combined with the flowing ebony robes and scythe he'd designed and programmed himself. Q had been a little surprised at the choice, but apparently his brother had found humor in portraying one of the more frightening specters from human mythos while being so very far from frightening himself on a personal level. “how was the festival?”

“WONDERFUL, AS ALWAYS,” Papyrus answers cheerfully as they both start towards the door and he pushes it open, holding it for Q and then entering after. “EVERYONE ASKED AFTER YOU.”

“oh?” Q muses as he drops onto the sofa and kicks his boots up onto the coffee table. It hadn’t been in their home originally, but they’ve long since truly made the place their own and added to the decor considerably. Technically speaking, the god-awful carpet is the only holdover from the original design besides the general layout of the place. Somehow, neither brother can quite bring themselves to change it, so it remains, a lingering testament to their origins.

“WELL, PERHAPS NOT _ALL_ ,” Papyrus corrects himself as he returned his scythe to his inventory and took a seat on the couch, then placed his feet on the coffee table as well, bumping Q’s in the process. “BUT MANY DID. HOW WAS YOUR PARTY?” Papyrus asked. He'd already heard about the haunted house debacle before they'd each left for their respective get-togethers, and hoped the party had gone better considering the wholesale destruction that had been unleashed earlier in the evening. When Q does not immediately answer, Pap gives his brother a subtle sidelong glance that the other skeleton can practically feel, even if he can’t see it thanks to the fall of his hood. The shorter monster pushes his brother’s feet back with his own, and a brief bout of kicking proceeds as each tries to shove the other’s boots off the table until they both snigger and break it off.

“it was good,” Q says as he resettles himself, claiming his half of the coffee table as he finally pushes back his hood and turns to flash his brother a grin.

There must be something in his smile that betrays his troubled thoughts, though, as Papyrus raises a brow and asks, “ONLY GOOD? YOU SEEMED LIKE YOU WERE LOOKING FORWARD TO IT...”

Q grimaces a little, ruing his inability to even twist the truth around Papyrus. He was so very good at it with literally anyone else, but it’s hard to get something past his little brother, he knows him too well. Figuring he might as well come out with it, Q says, “i did have fun, surprisingly. everyone seemed to like the music, no one tried to start shit with any of the guys...”

Papyrus leans back into the cushions and drops his chin onto his hand, elbow resting on the arm of the sofa as he watches his older brother thoughtfully. “AND THE LANDLADY, DID SHE HAVE A NICE TIME AS WELL?”

“mostly,” Q replies noncommittally as he plucks absently at the trailing end of his gently glowing cloak. Maybe his admin uniform is due for a little update. He could go for a proper cloak like this one, and a jacket instead of a trench…

“WHAT HAPPENED?” Papyrus probes gently when Q doesn’t elucidate, making him lift a brow. His brother isn’t the type to ask for help much, or advice, unless it came to his more collaborative efforts at work, so it is a process the taller skeleton has long since become accustomed to.

Q glances sidelong at his brother and realizes that he won’t be put off so easily. Sighing a little, the AI finally breaks down and relates everything that had happened in the bedroom.

“i’m just… conflicted, pap,” he admits, sounding tired as he sags back against the cushions of the sofa. “i should respect her privacy, but i know there’s stuff she’s not telling me, stuff the rest of the guys already know.” His hands tighten into fists for a moment at this admission. It irks him that the others, seemingly _all_ of the others, know more about your past than he does just because he’d been locked up in a godforsaken cage when you first arrived in their lives.

“DON’T YOU THINK THAT’S HER RIGHT, SANS?”

Q shoots his brother a hurt look, but kindhearted he may be, Papyrus’ gaze is unyielding. “but if it’s a bad ex,” and he was convinced it was now, “it could mean trouble for all of us.” His brother seems skeptical, so Q presses on, “i swore to protect them, pap. to protect _her._ How can i do that without all the information? there’s too many variables as is with life being life and the situation upstairs what it is.”

Papyrus’ expression softens some as he’s forced to acknowledge the truth in the statement. He has obvious problems with the other Sans and the choices he’d made since bringing so many timelines crashing in together, but even he and Q have to agree that keeping it all on the downlow is for the best. That same policy had lead to his brother’s imprisonment, however, and if not for you, Papyrus suspects Q might have blown Sans’ cover out of spite before disappearing into the depths of the internet.

Luckily, you _had_ interceded on their behalf, so now they all work to maintain the air of secrecy around the lodge as much as is reasonably possible. If you have people in your past that might out them all just to get at you… well, that could certainly be problematic.

Silence reigns over the livingroom for a time as both brothers consider the status quo, and the shadowy threat of figures from your unhappy past coming to cut up what little peace you, they, and everyone else at the lodge have finally managed to achieve.

Eventually, Papyrus says, “AT THE END OF IT ALL, IT’S UP TO YOU, SANS.”

Q sighs; a long, tired sound that communicates just how fed up he is with that being the case. His brother slings an arm around his shoulder in consolation and gives him a squeeze, which manages to take the edge off the AI’s unhappiness. Small moments of physical contact like this are always a comfort for him in the wake of their year apart. It helps anchor him in the now when the past or his own self doubt threatens to swallow him up.

Q flashes Papyrus a small smile, and his brother grins in turn, though the expression mellows some as he continues, “THAT SAID, I WOULD ADVISE THAT YOU NOT DO ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT BE WILLING TO TELL HER ABOUT FACE-TO-FACE.”

There was another moment of silence as Q considers his brother’s warning, and he finally nods. “thanks, pap. that’s… well, that’s some real good advice.”

He’s already tried to ask you about how you came to the lodge once, only to have the conversation derailed by outside interference… Well, he’d just have to try again, wouldn’t he? Though his first instinct is to simply _take_ the information he needs from whatever online sources he can find (your mysteriously empty facebook is a huge red flag for him), he knows now that it would be a discourtesy to you. He owes it to you to simply ask the question like a normal, functioning adult, and give you the chance to answer of your own volition.

“OF COURSE IT IS, I GAVE IT, DIDN’T I?” Pap teases lightly and shakes his brother a little, making Q chuckle. The younger skeleton releases his hold on Q, then pushes himself up off the couch. “I THINK I’M GOING TO SHUT DOWN FOR THE NIGHT. MAKE SURE YOU GET SOME REST AS WELL.”

Q waves him off with a snort, “sleep is for the weak.” When his brother shoots him a disapproving look, he only laughs again and says, “i’ll get to it eventually. good _night,_ pap.”

Papyrus still looked skeptical, but knows too well that trying to push the matter won’t actually get him anywhere, so he makes his way up the stairs and into his room, leaving his brother alone below. Q remains there for some time, lost in thought, feeling as though he’s running in circles as he tries to make up his mind on how to proceed. Eventually he gives up and goes to his room, deciding to save the matter for the morning. Maybe some rest will provide a fresh perspective.

Maybe seeing you again will help him get his priorities in order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually going to be a good bit longer thanks to a third part, but these first two bits wound up being long enough together that I decided to just give give them their own chapter, lol. Part 3 should be up here in a day or two if things go according to plan :)  
> Make sure to drop a review if you enjoyed, and let me know what your favorite part was!  
> Like my work but don't wanna leave a comment? consider buying me a **[ko-fi](ko-fi.com/joliemariella%20)** instead!


	8. To the Tune of Blackmail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was supposed to be part of chapter seven, but it wound up being so long I just made it it's own thing XD Enjoy, and check out the notes at the end for a link if you happen to miss it in the text itself! Also make sure to leave me a comment and tell me what your favorite part was, I really enjoy hearing that!

You wave your hand fitfully in front of your face and cough to dispel the dust and stale, musty air that gushes out of the small door into the attic when you put your shoulder into it and force it open.

You've been looking for the entrance for a few days now, plagued as you were by faint childhood memories of exploring the space in years past when you and your family had come to visit your grandfather while he had still been actively running the property. You'd asked your lodgemates if they'd seen it at all, but you had been uniformly met with answers in the negative. You'd half expected them to have made use of it since moving in, but apparently not.

Honestly, it isn't like you  _ needed  _ to find it, but the curiosity was getting to you now, though a little part of you had cautioned wariness considering what you'd found in the  _ basement  _ last time your cat-like nature had gotten the better of you. The larger part, however, countered that that had all turned out for the better in the end,  _ and  _ you'd gotten a new friend of it, so really, what was all the worry about?

Any time you could grab a spare moment, you would look around for the door you knew was  _ somewhere  _ in the lodge, though your memory was foggy enough that you couldn't recall if it had been a more traditional ceiling drop-down ladder entrance, or a literal door, which had slowed you down. Cornering each of your friends in turn to ask if you could poke around in their room for the entrance had been another hurdle that had slowed you down further yet.

So,  _ of course,  _ after all the trouble you had gone through, the door had proved to be up in your loft.

In your defense, though, who put an attic door in the back of a closet? You'd never noticed its presence there thanks to the boxes of Christmas decorations stacked in front of it that you'd never had any particular reason to move until now. Plus there's the fact that it is significantly smaller than a normal door, forcing you to stoop to put your shoulder into it and force your way through at last.

You stumble into the space beyond, still coughing and waving your hand in front of your face in until you’re forced to drag you sweater up over your nose and mouth until you can catch your breath. It's dark in the attic space, with the exception of a little light filtering in through a vent to the outside set into the far wall, though it's not nearly enough to properly see by.

Since the last thing you need is to fall right through the ceiling into one of your friends’ rooms, you pull out your phone and turn on the flashlight app. Able to see at last, you're glad you took the moment to do so, as entire sections of the floor prove to not be floor at all, but fluffy pink insulation that would, indeed, have let you crash through it and possibly break your neck. Other sections were covered with plywood, on which a multitude of dust coated boxes had been stored.

You remember the space being much larger as a kid, but then you suppose  _ you  _ had been so much smaller back then, and any kind of hidden space like this, musty and uncomfortable as it is now, would have seemed a secret wonderland akin to Narnia to you back then.

As an adult there's not much to be impressed with in the attic, but since you're here, you decide to take a look at the boxes for curiosity's sake. You tread carefully across the plywood flooring, and luckily it doesn't seem to have suffered any rot over the years, which reassures you that the roof isn't leaking up here.

The first box proves to hold more Christmas decorations, though these make you pause when you realize that they are strings upon strings of the big, old fashioned painted glass bulb style lights. Far less energy efficient than the more modern LED style, but they do have a certain charm that the new ones lack. Figuring your friends will get a kick out of them, you carefully push the box back through the door so you don't leave them behind.

The rest of the easily reached boxes mostly hold old clothes or other miscellany rendered out of style by time, but not so much so as to have come back full circle into stylish again the way some fashions have. You're about to give up when, at the bottom of the last box, you hit the jackpot: an ancient looking camera bag that you immediately haul out to get a better look at. Long forgotten memories resurface at the sight of it, and you’re delighted when you find just what you’d hoped to inside when you unzip it.

“No way!” you crow as you pull the early or mid 90s era panasonic palmcorder out and look it over. It’d belonged to your grandfather, and you remember its lense being focused on you just about any holiday when you came to visit him at the lodge.

The camera itself seems to be in good condition, though when you test the switch it doesn’t turn on. Not that you’re surprised; obviously the battery would be dead after all these years. A quick perusal of its carry bag, however, reveals not only a wall charger, but an assortment of tapes as well. A few of them have dates written on them, but several appear to be blank, making you grin.

A violent sneeze rocks you then, and nearly sends you toppling over backward as the dust starts to get to you again. Deciding to retreat with your prize for the time being, you close the boxes back up, gather the camera and its bag, then hurry back out before another sneeze sends you right through the ceiling.

First things first, you plug the camera into the nearest wall socket and keep your fingers crossed that it’ll work with a little charge, then go to take a shower to get rid of the dust you accumulated while in the attic. After that, you clean up a little before coming back to check on the camera, and are delighted to find that it’s charging… though only barely. For the first time in a long time you’re reminded of just how far rechargeable batteries have come since the 90s, and with a grimace you realize it probably won’t be fully charged for hours yet, so you decide to run out to the store while you wait.

Later, after dinner, you come back to find it fully charged and unplug it from the wall. You’re not sure why, but having this little window into the past has you grinning ear to ear, though you decide to hold off on actually watching any of the tapes until you’re certain that the thing  _ actually  _ works. It takes you a moment to figure out how, but you manage to take out the current tape, which seems to already have something on it, and input a new one, then hit record and turn it on yourself. Not super easy, considering old style video cameras really weren’t made to be selfie friendly, but you make it work.

“Testing, testing, one-two-three,” you say as you fiddle with the settings a little, then flash the lense a grin and shimmy your shoulders a little. Feeling silly, you laugh at your own expense, then stop the recording and turn the camera around to get a look at the view screen that unfolds from its side. You rewind the tape, and are pleased to see that the recording seemed to work when your own smiling face pops up on the small, grainy screen.

You fast forward through your antics until the end of the recording, then stop to consider what to do next. You could sit and watch a few of the tapes, but considering it’s probably just a lot of awkward family holidays, you decide to take the camera for a more extensive test drive instead. 

Grinning impishly, you start quietly down the stairs and hit record as you do. “Test number two, here we go,” you say quietly for your non-existent audience’s sake. You spy Sans’ door ajar and sneak quietly over to it and peer inside to find your friend bent over a book, the cover of which you can’t see, and record him doing...nothing particularly interesting for a moment. “Very important science stuff going on here, i’m sure,” you whisper to yourself, then turn the camera briefly on yourself again, “that or he’s researching more terrible jokes. Hard to say, most days. There kind of  _ is  _ a science to how bad they are.”

Deciding not to be even more of a creep than you already are, you keep going down the hall and nearly run straight into Edge as he steps unexpectedly out of his room.

“WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING,” he complains as he looks down at you sharply without bothering to apologize.

“Hey, I’m walking here!” you complain, then snort a little even as Edge narrows his eyes down into the lense of your camera.

“WHAT  _ IS  _ THAT THING?” he demands warily.

You almost answer honestly out of reflex before thinking better of it and, instead, say, “Uh… a laser?”

The much taller monster gives a start and glares at you as he pushes the camera to one side so it’s no longer  pointed directly at him. “WHAT?! WELL KEEP IT OUT OF MY FACE AND AWAY FROM MY STUFF!”

“Aw, whatcha got against lasers, Edge?” you egg him with a wicked little smile as you lift the camera again, but point it slightly off to one side so he doesn’t accuse you of trying to ‘shoot’ him.

“THE LAST TIME SOMEONE PLAYED WITH LASERS AROUND HERE, MY ACTION FI- I MEAN MY BATTLE SIMULATION MODELS WOUND UP MELTED AND-OR ON FIRE! KEEP IT AWAY OR I SHALL DESTROY IT!” Edge commands, then storms away down the stairs, making you roll your eyes.

Boy, he really  _ wasn’t  _ going to let Q live down the laser incident, was he…

Your expression lights up at the thought of your digital friend.  _ That  _ is exactly who needs to see your discovery! No doubt he’d get even more of a kick out of the dated piece of technology than you would…

Grinning, you trot downstairs and duck through the basement door with no one else the wiser. Just as you’re about to ask Q to open the door into the lab for you, though, someone else comes through it in the opposite direction.

“hey there, honey,” Stretch says with a slow blink of surprise when you nearly bowl him down too. “whatcha got there?”

You grin up at him from behind the eyepiece as you focus the lense on him, still recording. “It’s my grandpa’s old camera!” you tell him brightly as he absently twists the stem of his latest sucker. “Found it up in the attic. Pretty neat, huh? I was gonna show Q, figured he’d get a kick out of it.”

From somewhere inside the lab, music begins to play, but Stretch pays it no mind, so neither do you at the moment. “yeah,” Stretch agrees with a huff of amusement. “thing looks like it could be older than you.”

You snort and roll your eyes. “Trying to flatter me there, Stretch? I  _ wish  _ I looked like I was born in the mid-nineties.”

A real laugh escapes him this time and he reaches out to tweak a lock of your hair. “you don’t look a day older than ‘sabotage’ to me, kid.”

“By the Beastie Boys?” you ask and laugh. “ _ Wow,  _ now there’s a callback...” you sigh then as the age of the song really hits you. “Damn, that song is twenty-three years old now,” you say and grimace. “Now I really  _ do  _ feel old.”

“sorry, honey,” Stretch says as the song playing in the lab plays on, a distinctly funky baseline is the only part that’s really making it through the walls, though. “i know how you feel if it helps at all,” he muses.

“A little,” you say and pat his arm, then ask, “Wanna come with?”

Stretch hesitates, then shakes his head. “nah, you go ahead, kid. i’m gonna… i’m gonna go catch up with blue.”

You flash him a smile and say, “Alright. Don’t tell him what I found, okay? I want to show him later too.”

Stretch’s smile returns and he replies, “my purely metaphorical lips are sealed.”

A snort of amusement escapes you as he pretends to lock his mouth shut, then throws away the key. That done, the monster steps to one side and holds the door open for you, allowing you to step through before easing it shut after.

You pan the camera briefly over the lab, admiring the chaotic mess that surrounds the machine through the lense of your new-old camera for a moment before heading back to Q’s room, which seems to be the source of that funky baseline. His door is cracked, and just like you did with his physical doppelganger, you pause outside and peer through the lense at what is unfolding beyond.

Your vantage point allows you a clear shot of a good three-quarters of Q’s main interface screen, and you’re a little surprised to see that he’s left it on. Then again, Stretch was just down here, so maybe he simply hasn’t gotten around to turning it off. That or he’s expecting more company. At the moment the A.I. is leaning over a work table in his mirror version of the lab, carefully soldering a delicate looking bit of machinery, humming along to the intro melody.

Not wanting to hold up any work the resident scientists might be getting up to, you decide to go on inside and show Q your find quickly before whoever he might be expecting shows up. You’re just reaching out to push the door open when the first verse of the song starts up and Q joins in.

“ _[baby, i knew at once that you were meant for me](https://nighttimepixels.tumblr.com/post/168005624093/i-did-some-audio-manipulation-for). deep in my soul, I know that i'm your destiny, _ ” he begins to sing, voice low and rich, rolling easily through the notes with a confidence that belies the number of times he’s sung this particular tune. “ _ though you're unsure, why fight the tide? don't think so much, let your heart decide… _ ”

“Oh my goooooood,” you whisper to yourself, completely incapable of fighting the grin that has overtaken your face. Fingers fiddling desperately with various unfamiliar knobs, you manage to get the camera to zoom in some as he continues.

“ _ baby, I see your future and it's tied to mine. i look in your eyes and see you searching for a sign- _ ”

Q, you realize, is a  _ great  _ singer. Granted, all the lodgers are good if karaoke night at the beach was anything to go by, but for some reason, the fact that the same is true of your digital friend surprises you. The fact that he seems to be singing a remixed version of the ending theme from Mulan  _ also  _ takes you by surprise, but in the very best way possible.

“ _ but you'll never fall till you let go. don't be so scared of what you don't know- _ ” 

He’s been bobbing in time to the music as he sings and works in a way you can’t help but think is downright adorable, but as soon as the chorus starts up, he drops his work and starts to dance, using his soldering tool as a mic when he belts out, “ _ true to your heart, you must be true to your heart; that's when the heavens will part and baby, shower you with my love! _ ”

You’re forced to clap a hand over your mouth to muffle the delighted laugh that wants to burst out of you at the sight, though you’re still grinning behind your fingers. Q can’t just sing, but he can dance too, moving with confident steps as he spins and jumps around the table, singing all the while. Thanking your lucky stars that you’re here to witness this rare sight, you try to squeeze in a little closer to the door, suddenly afraid the mic on the camera might not be strong enough to capture Q’s singing.

“ _ open your eyes, your heart can tell you no lies and when you're true to your heart, i know it's gonna lead you straight to- _ ” You push your luck too hard with the door and bump it with the camera, sending it swinging open fractionally with a soft squeak of hinges in need of oil. You swear quietly to yourself as the music immediately cuts off and Q snaps around to see who has intruded on his sanctum.

“p-peaches!” he croaks when he sees you in the half-open doorway looking sheepish at being caught. He flushes a deep shade of sapphire and, fumbling dangerously with his still hot soldering tool, asks, “how are you- how did you-” he drops the tool altogether and starts to make a grab for it mid air before snatching his hand back as he remembers that the thing is hot enough to melt metal at the moment. It hits the floor with a clatter, forcing him to take a sharp step back before looking at you again, magic beading sweat-like at his brow. “uh, how’d you get in here, peaches?”

The question you know he is  _ actually  _ asking is: ‘ _ how did you get in here without me knowing?’ _

“I caught Stretch coming out of the lab so he just...held the door for me,” you admit, watching, fascinated as even the spinous processes on Q's neck begin to go blue under your continued regard.

“oh,” Q says, and you don't think you've seen him look so awkward in the entire length of your acquaintance. Or so speechless. The AI is looking anywhere but at you, and seems torn between pretending the whole scene hadn’t happened at all, and trying to explain it away.

Before he can try one  _ or _ the other, you blurt, “Please don't stop? You're really good!”

He stares at you blankly for a moment, then croaks, “what?”

Your blush deepens a little but you push your way further into the room and place your camera on one of the tables, completely forgetting that it's still recording as you approach his monitors. “Singing,” you clarify, then smile up at him as you admit, “Your voice is really nice, I like it.”

Q stares at you some more, eyelights following your every move until, at last, he blinks and lifts one hand to rub his jaw, masking the lower half of his face in the process. The AI’s gaze drifts from yours before finally asking, “you like my voice?” words muffled somewhat by his palm.

You nod enthusiastically, eager to reassure your friend in the face of his obvious embarrassment. “Yeah! We’ll definitely need to do karaoke night again soon so you can sing too,” you say, already making plans. You and Blue had picked up that karaoke mic on your date, after all, surely it was about time to get everyone together and put it to use-

“what?” he asks, startled again. “no way, peaches. I don’t sing for, uh… anyone,” Q says, awkwardness returning full strength, which surprises you. Your impression of the digital monster has never lead you to believe he’d have that anything but absolute confidence in himself when it comes to any skill he happens to have… but apparently you’ve happened upon the one exception.

“Oh,” you say, unable to keep the disappointment from your voice or expression, though you don’t notice the way this immediately makes Q’s eyelights flick back to you. “Well, I won’t force you, obviously,” you say with a sympathetic grimace that draws a slight smile back to the AI’s features. “You mind if I ask why?”

Q shifts uncomfortably and seems thoughtful. You’re about to tell him nevermind when he says, “i uh… never really sang much...before,” the weight he puts on the word lends it extra meaning, and you know the monster is referring to the time before Sans trapped him on the closed network. “nothing against it, just never really had the time or interest i guess. i started while i was caged, though,” he continues, staring off into the middle distance with a troubled expression on his features. “just kind of a way to pass the time and fill the quiet. that’s when i started really making music too. it was… real damn quiet in there.”

You wince a little at your friend’s admission, but luckily he doesn’t seem to notice. Thinking quickly, you say, “What if we sang together?” Q focuses on you again, brow furrowed in silent question, “like, not in front of people, just us!”

“what, like, right now?” he asks with a disbelieving laugh.

“Yeah!” you say, smiling up into the camera he has trained on you. “We’ll finish your song together, how about that?”

Q’s expression is torn between amused and uncertain. “you’re serious?”

You nod, “Come on, it’ll be fun! Singing alone all the time can’t be fun, right? Sing with me, Q, please?”

How is he supposed to say no to that earnest smile of yours, or your well meaning invitation? Had it been anyone else asking him, he would have balked immediately, but, well, this was  _ you…  _ You’re trying to break him out of his self-imposed shell, he can tell, and while that sort of thing normally irritates him into withdrawing further yet, the hopeful look you’re giving him as you wait for his answer is chipping away at his resistance with every moment that passes.

Well, maybe half a song couldn’t hurt…

Q bites down on his bottom lip and turns his back to you, though he’s still standing between the camera on his end, and his work bench. Your heart falls as his shoulders slump, but before you can apologize for pushing him too hard, he stomps the ground with one foot and snaps the fingers of both hands before spinning on heel dramatically as the music starts up right where it left off.

“ _ i know it’s gonna lead you straight to me, _ ” he sings, face flush and eyes refusing to meet yours even as you laugh delightedly. He grins, then reaches out with a flourish and snatches a microphone out of the air before finally looking at you and crooking a finger in your direction as he starts to dance.

Getting the message, you take a breath and immediately launch into the next verse, years of disney themed sing-a-long’s coming to your rescue as you sing, “ _ Someone you know is on your side, can set you free. I can do that for you if you believe in me, _ ” and flush when you realize Q isn’t singing as well. You stomp your foot impetuously, though are unable to keep the smile from your face as you continue, “ _ Why second-guess what feels so right? Just trust your heart and you'll see the light _ ,” and wave for him to join.

Q’s tongue feels thick and clumsy as he watches you sing, voice bright and clear as you look askance at him. His soul flutters and the air all rushes out of him, and for a moment he can’t remember the words to the chorus until you start in and he finally forces himself to take a breath again and joins in. The smile you reward him with is worth all the awkwardness he decides, and inspires him to spin in place and start to dance again.

You laugh and applaud, missing the start of the next verse in your breathless state, leaving him to sing alone once more. “ _ girl, my heart is driving me to where you are, _ ” he sings, and feeling suddenly brave, points at you and winks as he continues, “ _ well, you can take both hands off the wheel and still get far. be swept away, enjoy the ride. you won't get lost with your heart to guide you. _ ”

You blush prettily at his solo, making his grin widen and his soul jump behind his ribs even as you both launch into the chorus, then finally come to the end of the song as he crows “ _ got to be be true to your heart! _ ”

You laugh and throw your arms wide, then draw the song to a close with one last, “ _ Got to be true to your heaaaart! _ ”

The music dies down and the both of you dissolve into laughter, each leaning back against your mirrored tables, clutching the edge to keep yourselves upright. 

“See, now wasn’t that fun?” you ask him with an impish smile when you’ve finally caught your breath.

Q banishes his microphone back to wherever it came from and taps his fingers absently against the metal surface of his workbench as he smiles down at you and eventually admits, “yeah, alright, peaches, you got me. duets with you really  _ do it  _ for me.”

You laugh again, then nearly knock your camera clean off the table when you try to straighten up. A quiet swear escapes you as you make a grab for the ancient thing, and just barely manage to lay hands on it before it topples to the floor. Checking it over briefly, you realize you’d left it recording, and say, “Oh, whoops, left it on,” then quickly turn it off before you can waste anymore battery.

“What's that?” Q asks curiously as his primary camera cranes around for a better look at what you're doing.

“The reason I came down here, actually,” you remark with a laugh and hold it out towards the camera so he can get a good look.

Its lens spins as it focuses on the object now that it's closer at hand, and you're grinning a little when something else descends from the shadows of the ceiling overhead, making you yelp and half jump away. Two more robotic arms equipped with gripping clamps rather than cameras reach toward you, one presses to the center of your back to keep you from stumbling and falling while the other neatly grabs the camera from your hands.

“H-Hey!” you stammer as the clamp lifts your prize up over your head where Q's camera waits to examine it in detail under his own power. You bat away the hand at your back and it lifts away to assist its counterpart.

Q laughs, clearly amused by your own camera as he looks at it through his state of the art one. “wow, peaches, didn't realize you were an armchair archaeologist. this thing is  _ ancient,  _ where'd you dig it up from?”

You jump and make a grab for your camera, but Q only pulls it up closer to the ceiling, well out of your reach, so you give up and sigh. “I found it while I was sorting through some of the stuff in the attic this morning,” you explain, watching as the AI's robotic appendages handle your new-old toy. Despite how heavy the clamps look, they seem more than capable of delicate work, so you let him be, though you grimace to yourself when they open up the side screen and start fiddling with buttons until he's able to rewind to the beginning of the tape.

Q hits play and is treated to the sight of you mugging at the camera and laughing. You flush when he glances over at you, a small but thoroughly wicked grin on his face at your antics, though he breaks into outright laughter when you tell Edge the camera is a laser.

“he never  _ is  _ going to let me live that down, is he,” he muses with a snort, still watching the footage roll by while you chuckle. Your conversation with Stretch goes uncommented upon, and Q grimaces a little when you discover him singing alone in the lab. “ _ cue  _ my embarrassing moment of the week,” though to your surprise, he doesn't stop the tape there.

As you had feared, the sound quality on the playback isn't great, though it improves when he catches you and you enter the lab properly then set the still recording camera down on the table. When you start singing together, Q actually lowers the camera back down so you can also watch, and you both laugh as you dance in and out of frame.

“so, are we recording each other without permission now?” the AI asks with an arch smile down at you when the recording ends and his 'assistant' hands the camera back to you.

Realizing what a dangerous can of worms  _ that  _ would be with this particular monster, you immediately answer, “No!” making him throw his head back and laugh.

“dunno, peaches,” he muses and leans casually back against his table, grinning lazily down at you from his screen. “i think you might owe me an embarrassing secret of your own just to... put us on an even blackmail level.”

Your mouth drops open at this suggestion, and despite his teasing nature, you rather get the impression that he’s not joking. “Like  _ what _ ?!” you demand incredulously.

The skeleton on screen rubs his chin absently and seems to give the answer some serious thought as his eyelights drift away from the camera. When his grin widens abruptly, you know he’s come up with something suitably ominous, and you feel your stomach tighten in concern.

“we’ll make it an even trade,” he says. “you give something with photo evidence of you doing something regrettable, and i’ll let you keep that little tape of yours. if you don’t, though, you have to destroy the evidence.”

You look down at the camera in your hands as you weigh your options. You’ve got plenty more tapes you could use for fooling around with the camera, but honestly, you really  _ like  _ that recording of you and Q singing and being silly. It’s a side of him you really haven’t seen before, and you’re loathe to give it up without a fight. You get the impression the impulse isn’t one the AI indulges often, especially not around others.

Finally, you sigh and smile ruefully before putting down the camera and pulling out your phone. “Alright, alright,” you say and pull up your online photo storage. Honestly, the fact that Q doesn’t seem to already know about this photo goes a long ways to reassuring you that he really hasn’t been prying into your things, which is nice. On the other hand, now you’re about to show him of your own free will… “So this happened awhile back, before I moved out here, and-” you glance up at Q and see him regarding you with a surprised expression. “What?” you ask, confused.

The AI blinks and shifts a little in place, seeming to debate putting his surprise to words. Finally, with a soft huff and a lopsided smile, he admits, “didn’t actually think you’d want to keep the tape that bad.”

“Oh, you’re not getting off  _ that  _ easy, Q,” you say with a challenging smile. “Now come look at this stupid picture before my sanity returns and you miss out on your chance at some a plus blackmail material.”

Q laughs and his camera shifts around to peer over your shoulder at your phone screen just as you finally find the picture and pull it up. “So basically,” you say with a snort of self deprecating amusement, “my friends and I went out for drinks one time and I just got...well,  _ smashed _ . I don’t remember what the occasion was, but apparently I was  _ dead set  _ on getting a selfie with the bartender.”

“oh my god,” the AI says, choking back a laugh as he finally bears witness to one of your most shameful moments. The picture is indeed a selfie; you have one arm thrown around the shoulders of a man who looks to be a couple years your senior and his expression is caught between a smile and an expression of disgust as you projectile vomit down his shirt. “that is possibly the most amazing thing i’ve ever seen.”

You grimace. “You really need to get out more, then,” you say and snort but he just grins down at you.

“so, why were you so set on getting a picture with this guy,” he asks.

“Apparently I was  _ convinced  _ he looked exactly like Orlando Bloom?” you admit a little sheepishly as you close out of the picture.

A bark of startled laughter escapes the AI. “hate to break it to you peaches, but he really,  _ really  _ doesn’t.”

You roll your eyes as he continues to laugh, grip on the edge of his table tightening to support him. “Yeah, well I know that  _ sober. _ ” 

Before you can put your phone away, he manages to get himself back under control and wags a finger at you. “nuh-uh, send me a copy via the app. i need that  _ on tap,  _ peaches.”

You grimace again but do as you’re told. “You’re awful,” you grumble, but he only laughs again.

“you started it!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, for anyone that missed it, there was a link to an [edited version of Johnathan Young's cover of "True to Your Heart"](https://nighttimepixels.tumblr.com/post/168005624093/i-did-some-audio-manipulation-for), made to sound like Q singing ;D So, yes, that is what what the lady was hearing! Go thank my nighttimepixels over on Tumblr for her efforts! Truly i am blessed *cries*  
> Also make sure to leave a comment and tell me what your favorite part was! I just love hearing that from you guys!


	9. But it's destiny!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> laksjdfals this freaking chapter came out longer than planned wth. I should have gotten the gyftmas stuff started already but here I fucking am NOT doing that thing 8'D Expect to see some next chapter!  
> Hope you enjoy, and make sure to leave a comment if you do and let me know what your favorite part was!

(( **This chapter takes place _during_ chapter 25 of 'Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady'!**))

It had been a long day, and yet Q felt as though he’d accomplished nothing at all. Probably because that was, in fact, the case. None of his current major projects were panning out, or were undergoing the in-depth scans required for safety’s sake before the changes could be implemented.

The A.I. sat back in his chair and rubbed at his face absently as he pushed away from his work bench. He’d decided to hole up in his private lab behind the house today, rather than going in to work with Gaster and Alphys in hopes of getting some work on the V.R. system done. Even something as simple as he’d thought _that_ project should be wasn’t going as quickly as he’d hoped, though, meaning he’d have to come up with something _else_ as a Gyftmas present for his favorite peach. Getting the overwhelmingly complicated system that made up his world to play nice with the human nervous system was proving more difficult than anticipated.

He really did need more data in that regard. Maybe if he got a scan of her brain he-

The proximity alarms for the door in the upstairs lab went off as someone approached, but he paid them no mind until they were followed by a knock.

Q’s soul jumped a little at the sound, making him sit bolt upright in anticipation of seeing a certain human roommate waiting for him to let her in when he brought up the security feed. A visit from his favorite little peach would be just the thing to brighten his day and maybe help him refocus…

Rather than a pretty human woman, however, Q found a familiar skeleton monster waiting at the base of the stairs, hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans as he bounced distractedly on the balls of his feet.

The A.I. blinked in surprise, but immediately brought up the intercom app and said, “hey blue, what’s up?”

The other monster gave a slight start at the sudden noise from the speaker set in the ceiling overhead, then turned and grinned, unabashed, at the camera. “HEY, Q, YOU BUSY?”

Still leaning back in his seat, Q canted his head to one side, brow quirked as he considered his answer for a moment. The monster dropped his chin onto his hand and spun his chair with a kick of a foot, watching as his many work benches, stacked high with bits and pieces of projects still in progress whirled past… “depends,” he answered eventually with a low laugh. “why you asking?”

Blue blinked up at the camera that still had its lense focused on him and stared for a moment before his brow furrowed and a wry smile pulled at his mouth, well accustomed to this kind of answer from his older brother. Stretch and Q were more alike than _either_ of them would ever admit, but he wasn’t about to point that out now. He’d gotten to know the digital monster quite well since working on the haunted house with him, and he was confident that there wasn’t much else that would make him hang up faster than being compared to Stretch.

That didn’t mean Blue didn’t wish the two couldn’t come to an understanding of some sort; apologize and forgive one another for past sins so they could be friends… Granted, his Papy and the others had definitely been more in the wrong than Q from what he’d gathered (and boy had he given his big brother a metaphorical earful about _that_ when he’d found out), but he was inclined to believe his brother when he said Q wasn’t exactly innocent either.

Blue was, however, very much a believer in rehabilitation over punishment, so when he’d seen the chance to befriend Q, he’d jumped on it. Surely there was less likely to be a repeat of the events that had wound up with Sans and the others caging him if he had more attachments to the people living on this side of the screen? However accurate his thinking on the matter may or may not have been, Blue had been pleased all the same when the A.I. had responded to his and Papyrus’ attempts to befriend him while they worked together on the haunted house. It’d been a lot of fun, and a challenge they’d all thrown themselves into with an impressive outcome.

Too bad it’d been blown up at the end of it all.

Blue was _still_ annoyed with Edge and Black for their inability to control their frightened impulses, and even _more_ annoyed with their unwillingness to even admit that they’d been scared at all. Still, he could take pride in the fact that he and Papyrus, the least ‘scary’ of all the monsters, had managed to frighten everyone so thoroughly; with Q’s help, of course.

The monster managed to refrain from rolling his eyelights and said, “WELL, I WAS GONNA PLAY SOME DESTINY 2 AND THOUGHT MAYBE YOU’D WANT TO JOIN MY FIRETEAM FOR A FEW MISSIONS OR SOMETHING.”

In his lab, both of Q’s brows raised, but a smile tugged at his mouth at the offer. “what, you that desperate for help on something?”

Blue snorted and planted his hands on his hips, no longer able to restrain the urge to roll his eyelights, which he did emphatically. “NO. I JUST THOUGHT IT’D BE FUN IS ALL. I MISS HANGING OUT WITH YOU NOW THAT WE’RE NOT WORKING ON THE HAUNTED HOUSE ANYMORE,” he admitted readily, unashamed of this fact.

“oh,” the A.I. replied, completely taken off guard by the honesty of Blue’s answer. He shouldn’t have been, considering who he was talking to, but he was surprised. He’d enjoyed getting to know Blue and Papyrus as well over the course of their joint project, but the fact that it was mutual enough for the other monster to actually seek him out in his free time… it brought a pang to Q’s chest, which he rubbed absently as he considered his answer. “i,” he began, then paused and looked around the lab for a moment before considering, “yeah, what the hell, why not? i’m not making any progress here anyways.”

“NICE!” Blue exclaimed happily when his invitation was accepted. He beamed widely up into the camera, then asked, “YOU NEED MY USERNAME, OR-”

“nah, just go ahead and get on and i’ll send you an invite,” Q responded.

Blue took the steps out of the basement two at a time, grinning to himself as he reached the hall and made a sharp turn around the blind corner. He nearly bowled head first into Edge, and only a quick spin on Blue's part kept him from shoulder checking the much larger skeleton into the wall.

“WHAT IS _WRONG_ WITH YOU PEOPLE LATELY?!” he snapped furiously.

“SORRY EDGE!” Blue called back over his shoulder as he kept right on moving, making for the stairs up to the bedrooms.

“YOU HAVE FUNCTIONING EYES, TRY USING THEM SO INNOCENT SKELETONS CAN WALK DOWN THE HALLWAY UNMOLESTED YOU GODDAMN HOOLIGAN!”

Blue, however, had already reached the top of the stairs and slammed his bedroom door behind him, leaving Edge to grumble to himself as he stormed outside on business of his own.

In his room, Blue turned on his PS4 where it sat on his entertainment center just below the almost objectionably large television that dominated the wall on that side of the room. He turned that on too, then jumped onto his bed, rolled with the bounce of the mattress, and landed sitting up on the far edge so he could push aside the trailing blankets and expose the mini fridge he had secreted below. He grinned when he found his secret stash of soda and beer untouched, hand wavering between the two options for a moment before snagging one of the latter and dropping the blankets back into place.

Blue popped the top with a deft twist and took a long swig as he tossed the cap into the nearby trash can, then settled down in front of his tv, controller in hand. As soon as he logged in, he got a team request from an unfamiliar user and accepted it, assuming, rightly it turned out, that it was Q.

“so, what are we killing?” the A.I. asked once Blue had dragged on his wireless headphones.

Blue turned his camera to regard his friend's avatar, and was not in the least surprised to find Q playing as an Exo warlock. He preferred titan himself, of course, but it was always nice to have some variation on a team.

“WELL, I'VE ALREADY FINISHED EVERYTHING QUEST WISE, HOW ABOUT WE LOOK FOR SOME EVENTS?”

“sounds good to me,” Q agreed readily, and together, they set off across the map.

Turned out they made a terrifyingly good team. Blue barely had to get more than a few words out before Q caught his drift and moved to support him accordingly. He was a dead shot, and the banter that flowed between them as the A.I. took out a fallen Captain that had been sneaking up on Blue from behind while he'd taken a moment to take a drink of his beer nearly made him snort the drink out his nasal cavity.

“heh, i capped the cap, how about that?”

“DON'T _VEX_ ME, Q,” Blue countered as he mopped at his face and sniggered. “OW, DAMN. THAT DEFINITELY CAME OUT MY NOSE.”

On the other end of the line the A.I. laughed, then paused and made a thoughtful noise.

“WHAT IS IT?” Blue asked curiously, immediately catching his shift in focus. On screen, his friend's avatar turned and aimed its rifle to follow a hunter crossing the map in the distance.

“wait a minute, I recognize that ip,” Q mused, then asked, “how about we add a third member to our little party?”

“UH-” Blue began, taken off guard. “I DON'T-”

But it was too late, someone, _somehow_ was added to their fireteam without so much as an official invitation, which Blue could only attribute to Q manipulating the system. For a moment he was concerned that this might attract attention to the A.I., but the sound of a familiar voice over his headphones derailed the thought before he could even complete it.

“WHO IS THIS? HOW _DARE_ YOU COERCE ME ONTO YOUR LOWLY, UNDESERVING TEAM YOU ABSOLUTE PEONS! YOU'RE NOT WORTHY TO-”

“BLACK?” Blue asked and laughed when the sound of his own name interrupted the other monster mid-rant.

“YOU?! HOW DID YOU DO THIS? THERE WASN'T EVEN A REQUEST SENT, I JUST-”

“he has friends in digital places, what can I say?” Q cut in, making Blue snort and Black fall silent once more.

The quiet continued for a long moment before finally being broken by an expressive, “UGH. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN; STUPID GHOST. GOT TIRED OF HAUNTING KITCHEN APPLIANCES AND MOVED ON TO GAME SYSTEMS INSTEAD?”

“oh no, not at all,” Q said, and blue could hear a wicked smile in the lilt of his voice. In the distance, from Black's end of the line, came a high pitched bark.

The press-ganged monster's yelp of surprise turned into an infuriated growl. “WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT WITH ME? TELL ME BEFORE I COME OVER THERE AND-”

“and what?”

“DO SOMETHING SUITABLY MALEVOLENT AS RECOMPENSE FOR YOUR CHEEK!”

A loud laugh escaped Blue and he clapped a hand over his mouth to stifle his reaction. Q, on the other hand, had no such compunction and laughed until he was doubled over in his chair, wheezing.

“f-for my- oh my god...”

“I DON’T SEE WHAT IS SO FUNNY! I, THE MALEVOLENT SANS WILL RAIN HELLFIRE DOWN ON-”

The A.I. finally got himself under control and cut his furious doppelganger off before he could well and truly launch into a furious tirade. “yeah yeah, your disapproval is duly noted, mary poppins. we going to kill some evil time travelling robots or what?”

Black hardly seemed to know where to start with his objection, so he went with the most obvious part first. “WHY ON EARTH WOULD I WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU NUMBSKULLS!”

No longer feeling as though he might burst out into raucous laughter of his own, Blue took a swig of his beer, then said, “C’MON, BLACK, IT’LL BE FUN!”

“I FAIL TO SEE IN WHAT WAY LOWERING MYSELF TO PLAY WITH THE LIKES OF SUCH INEXPERT _RUBES_ AS YOURSELVES COULD POSSIBLY BE ANYTHING REMOTELY RESEMBLING ‘FUN’,” Black said skeptically.

Far better natured than either of his teammates, Blue just laughed and said, “GIVE IT A GO! IF YOU’RE NOT HAVING FUN AT THE END OF TWENTY MINUTES, YOU CAN LEAVE.”

There was silence for a beat and then, “I WILL GIVE YOU _TEN_ MINUTES OF MY TIME, AND THAT IS ALL!”

“the lord hath blessed us with his presence,” Q drawled blandly with a snort, then started off across the map. “there’s an event about to pop up over here, lets hit that.”

“WHO MADE YOU LEADER?! IF ANYONE IS GOING TO LEAD, IT SHOULD BE ME!”

“hey, _i_ invited _you,_ kid, so shut up and put down cover fire already.”

“YOU DIDN’T _INVITE_ ME, I WAS PRESS GANGED!”

Q only laughed and fell in behind Blue, allowing his titan to take the brunt of the enemy attack before unleashing a volley of lightning to level the playing field. “same difference.”

“IT IS NOT!” Black countered furiously as his hunter swapped out for a sniper rifle and did as he was told despite his objections.

* * *

Two hours later, Black was was still with them, and all three were camped out on a clifftop waiting for the next event to pop, watching as the timer counted down. Sprawled on the sofa in his living room, Q absently flipped through a few windows, checking on some internal systems, as well as a few external. The mics in the ‘upstairs’ lab weren’t sensitive enough to pick up conversations going on in the upper floors, but they _could_ register sound well enough to tell when there were people about.

“where _is_ everyone, b?” Q asked absently as he noted that the speakers hadn’t been picking anything much up since before Blue had asked him to play.

Blue and Black were both silent for a moment before the former finally ventured, “UH, DO YOU MEAN ME?”

Q quirked a brow with with the idle flick of a few menus, pulled up the camera app that in turn projected his face in the corner of both his teammates screens.

“obviously,” he mused with a lazy grin.

“GET OFF OF MY SCREEN!” Black groused, though it was only half-hearted in his distraction as he noticed that Q was in a very close approximation of the home he and his brother had shared back in their version of the Underground. The A.I.’s actual statement pulled him from his thoughts on the matter, though, and he added, “AND IN WHAT WAY IS THAT ‘OBVIOUS’? BOTH OF OUR NICKNAMES BEGIN WITH THE LETTER B, YOU DIGITAL CRETIN.”

Q just snorted. “ _obvious_ because black is abbreviated as ‘k’ you ignorant jackass.”

“WELL HEY, I LIKE IT!” Blue cut in hastily before things could escalate further. Q and Black seemed to have reached a truce of sorts over the course of the last couple of hours, and he was all for keeping things that way, despite their frequent divergence into insult hurling. Fostering friendship between such... _strong_ personalities was a task and a half, Blue had found. “LIKE A SUPER COOL SPY CODE NAME OR SOMETHING!” he said with a broad grin. “‘K’ IS A GOOD ONE TOO, BLACK! LIKE THAT BADASS AGENT GUY FROM MEN IN BLACK!”

There was a moment of thoughtful introspection, and then, “HE WAS THE ONE WITH THE BIG GUN AND THE CAR THAT DROVE UPSIDE DOWN?”

“YEP!”

More thoughtful silence, and then, “I SUPPOSE THAT IS ACCEPTABLE.”

Q rolled his eyelights, but a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth in spite of himself. “you forgot the question, b.”

Blue blinked, then recalled where the conversation had begun. “OH!” he began, then hesitated and grimaced unhappily. Stretch had thought himself quite sly, secreting their landlady out of the house for an outing, but Blue had seen all from an upstairs window. He’d be lying if he’d said it hadn’t stung that he hadn’t been invited, considering his brother _always_ invited him, but… That same fact also made him think that Stretch’s reasoning for doing so must have been important, so he’d refrained from going after them. “W-WELL, I THINK SANS IS IN HIS ROOM. PAP AND EDGE ARE OUTSIDE SOMEWHERE AND...AND STRETCH AND RED WENT SOMEWHERE WITH THE LANDLADY.”

The last portion of his sentence had come out all in a rush, leaving Q and Black sitting silent for a moment as they processed it.

“WHAT?! OUR LANDLADY IS OUT WITH _BOTH_ OF THE ASHTRAYS, AND NO ONE IS THERE TO SUPERVISE? HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN?! OF EVERYONE IN THAT GODFORSAKEN HOUSE I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT AT LEAST _YOU_ MIGHT HAVE A CARE FOR THIS SORT OF THING, BLUE!”

“I DO!” Blue objected automatically, then hesitated. “I MEAN-”

“bastards think they’re real damn sly, sneaking out like that,” Q groused irritably as he took a potshot at a distant Vex from the cliff they were camped on. The event the three of them had been waiting for had already popped, but no one seemed particularly inclined to pursue it now.

Before the A.I. could say more, though, Black’s hunter rounded on his warlock to proclaim, “Q! YOU MAY BE THE MOST IRRITATING OF MY DOPPELGANGERS, BUT I WILL ADMIT THAT YOU ARE ALSO POTENTIALLY THE MOST USEFUL!”

Up in the little corner window on their screens, the digital monster arched a brow and, in his most bland tone, said, “thanks.”

Black ignored his sarcasm and pressed on. “USE YOUR ANNOYING, BUT ADMITTEDLY IMPRESSIVE, DIGITAL HAUNTING ABILITIES TO SPY ON THEM IMMEDIATELY! I MUST KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING!”

“YOU CAN’T DO THAT! THAT’S AWFUL!” Blue objected, immediately reminded of how he’d felt when he’d though Q and the others had been spying on him during his date. He’d since accepted that it had been mere coincidence that brought them all to the same arcade at the same time, but the idea that someone might asK Q to spy on him, or anyone else, for their own gains sent a shiver up his vertebrae.

“ _THEY’RE_ THE AWFUL ONES FOR SNEAKING ABOUT BEHIND EVERYONE’S BACKS! IT’S DISGUSTING! WHO KNOWS WHAT THOSE ORALLY FIXATED, FUME COUGHING, FEEBLE-MINDED CREEPS ARE INFLICTING ON MY- _OUR_ LANDLADY IN OUR ABSENCE! SHE MIGHT VERY WELL BE IN DIRE NEED OF RESCUE FROM THEIR ODIOUS COMPANY!”

While Blue very much _did_ want to charge in on a proverbial noble steed and rescue ‘the lady’, the fact that one of the ‘creeps’ he’d be rescuing her from was his brother made him bridle. “HEY! PAPY’S NOT FEEBLE-MINDED, HE’S BRILLIANT! AND HE’S BEEN SMOKING WAY LESS THESE DAYS, I’M REALLY PROUD OF HIM!”

Black scoffed, but before he could say anymore, a rifle shot echoed through the sound system, followed by the distant shriek of a dying Vex. “i’m not spying on shit,” Q said flatly.

There was a sound of frustration from Black’s end of the line, and then a vehement, “WHY NOT?! YOU HAD NO COMPUNCTION ABOUT SPYING ON _ME_ IN MY OWN HOUSEHOLD!”

“i wasn’t spying,” the A.I. snapped. “that was just fucking around, trolling you for being an ass. you’re wanting me to poke my non-existent nose into her business, and i’m not going to do it.”

Blue didn’t say anything, but he was impressed. According to everything he’d heard from his brother, ‘poking his nose in’ was very easy for Q, and something he’d had trouble resisting in the past. “THAT’S… REALLY ADMIRABLE OF YOU, Q.”

Q blinked into the camera, seeming surprised by the sentiment. He averted his gaze and shrugged, making Blue wonder if he’d actually managed to embarrass the A.I. After a moment, he said, “besides, i have a deal with sans.”

“WHAT _KIND_ OF DEAL?” Black asked, suspicion clear in his tone.

“call it a non-interference agreement. i don’t mess with you guys, specifically _him_ in pursuing the landlady, and in return, he doesn’t mess with me.”

Blue’s eye sockets went wide at this news, even as a blue blush crept across his cheekbones. Black, meanwhile, loudly stammered, “PURSUE THAT PATHETIC HUMAN? AS THOUGH I WOULD LOWER MY-

“ **c h o o s e   y o u r   w o r d s,** ” Q warned expression flat, but tone deadly serious as he stared straight into the camera with a frightening intensity that Blue recognized from those rare occasions when someone managed to rile his brother. Hearing it come out of his friend gave the monster a start. It must have Black as well, because he shut his mouth with an audible click echoed through the mic. There was a moment of silence, and then, in a normal tone, Q continued, “lets all be mature adults here and not try to lie about the fact that literally all of us are after the same woman, and just agree to make a fair chase of it, hm?”

Silence reigned again as neither of his teammates neither admitted nor denied the truth of the matter. There was no reason Blue would, considering he’d literally already taken their would-be paramour on a date, but he’d half expected Black to do so. However, he was either unwilling to continue arguing, or he really was after their landlady as well.

Eventually, Blue said, “LOOKS LIKE THE EVENT’S STILL GOING SINCE NO ONE ELSE SHOWED UP. WANNA TAKE IT OUT?”

“sure, why not.”

“...VERY WELL.”

When they had mopped up the last of their enemies, Blue asked, “WHAT NEXT? SHOULD WE TRY THE CRUCIBLE FOR A BIT?”

“yeah why not,” Q mused with a light snort as they fell back into the more comfortable beat of their teamwork. “i’m game.”

Blue chuckled at the joke but Black said, “I NEED TO GO. THAT OBNOXIOUS, PRICKLY BEANPOLE OF A MONSTER YOU LIVE WITH HAS BEEN PLACING HIS PATHETIC EXCUSES FOR _TRAPS_ IN _MY_ TERRITORY AGAIN AND I WON’T HAVE IT! ”

“OH COME ON, YOU CAN DO THAT LATER!” Blue complained, not wanting the fun, argumentative though it had been, to end. It wasn’t often he actually got to group up with people he _knew,_ after all.

Black scoffed. “NO, NOW IS THE TIME I HAVE SET ASIDE SPECIFICALLY FOR THIS TASK OR IT WON’T GET DONE!”

“boo, you whore,” Q said after taking a long drink of the second beer he’d produced for himself.

Immediately recognizing the quote, Blue burst out laughing, and even clapping a hand over his mouth didn’t help muffle it as Black made an offended noise.

“EXCUSE ME?!”

“you heard me,” Q responded blandly, though he was grinning at Blue’s reaction, knowing that he knew exactly what he was quoting from.

“I AM NOT SOME-SOME _HUSSY_ JUST BECAUSE I HAVE THINGS TO BE DOING BESIDES PLAYING GAMES WITH YOU DESPERATE LOSERS!”

Rather than get offended, however, Q just grinned wider and Blue wheezed, “B-BUT Q, HE-HE DOESN’T EVEN _GO_ HERE!”

It was the A.I.’s turn to burst out laughing, and together he and Blue were completely incapable of speech for the better part of a minute.

“YOU’VE CLEARLY BOTH LOST YOUR MINDS!” Black snapped, “I’M LOGGING OFF, I-”

“oh _come on,_ k!” Q finally managed to gasp. “have you _seriously_ not seen that movie?”

“... WHAT MOVIE?”

“MEAN GIRLS! IT’S GREAT!” Blue finally managed to say. “IT’S UP ON NETFLIX, LAST I CHECKED.”

Another moment of silence and then, “IT’S A MOVIE ABOUT… GIRLS THAT ARE MEAN?”

“yeah pretty much,” Q said with a snort of amusement. “you should check it out, it’s got some classic moments in it.”

“OH!” Blue exclaimed as an idea came to him. He grinned broadly and said, “COME OVER AND WE CAN WATCH IT TOGETHER! I HAVEN’T SEEN IT IN AGES!”

“I HAVE TO-”

“don’t make me say it again,” Q interrupted.

Blue could tell Black was debating, so to sweeten the deal, he made the ultimate sacrifice. “I HAVE BEER! PRETTY SURE PAPY DIDN’T EAT ALL THE CHISPS YET EITHER SO WE’VE GOT THOSE TOO!”

Finally, and with the air of a person doing someone a great favor, Black said, “OH VERY WELL. I SUPPOSE THE REMOVAL OF THOSE INFERIOR TRAPS CAN WAIT ANOTHER DAY. I’VE YET TO DRAW PLANS UP FOR WHAT I’LL BE REPLACING THEM WITH ANYWAYS. I’LL BE OVER IN A FEW.”

Black hung up and Blue fist-pumped victoriously. When Q continued silent, though, he looked at the window in the corner of his screen and noticed his friend was making hasty notes, fingers flying over a digital keyboard at a speed he could barely track.

“SOMETHING WRONG?”

“nah,” Q answered as he finished up. He turned and grinned broadly at Blue to say, “just thought of what i’ll be making peaches for gyftmas is all.”

Blue brightened at the mention of the rapidly approaching holiday. “OH YEAH? WHAT IS IT?” he asked curiously.

The A.I. just chuckled and pressed a finger to the side of his nasal bone as he winked and said, “it’s a surprise.”

The other skeleton pouted and said, “BOO, YOU WHORE.”

Q laughed.

* * *

“OBVIOUSLY CADY NEEDS TO KILL REGINA AND TAKE HER PLACE AS LEADER OF THESE ‘’PLASTICS” BY FORCE. THE OTHERS WOULD QUICKLY FALL IN LINE IF SHE DID.”

“or, y’know, she’d go to jail.”

“IT DEFINITELY WOULDN’T BE AS FUNNY.”

“... I SUPPOSE. THE PART WHERE THEY WERE NEARLY HIT BY A BUS _WAS_ ENTERTAINING.”

“Oh my god, are you guys seriously watching ‘Mean girls’ without me?” you asked as you returned at last from your outing with Red and Stretch to find Blue and Black sprawled on the sofa with Q on a tablet perched on the coffee table.

“welcome home, peaches. take it you’re a fan?” Q remarked with a crooked grin as he paused the movie.

“Yeah!” you said with a grin, feeling chipper after your nap in the back of the car on the way home. “God I haven’t seen it in ages though,” you admitted as you moved around the couch and waved your hands at Black and Blue, “Scooch!”

They both blinked at you, then did as you asked. When you dropped down onto the cushion between them, Blue grinned broadly at you and Black glanced sidelong in your direction. Both of them wound up with their femurs brushing your thighs, though you barely noticed as you reached out and grabbed Q’s tablet from the table so you could all watch together.

“looks like a party,” Stretch mused as he entered in your wake and took stock of the situation. He flashed Blue a smile when his brother turned to look.

“yeah, but who the hell invited him?” Red asked as he stepped around Stretch and eyed Black, who pointedly ignored him.

“we did,” Q replied archly. “problem?”

Blue and Black both glanced back at the other skeletons then, and in perfect unison, each slipped an arm around your shoulders, apparently content to share you between themselves if it meant wresting a precious hour or two of your time from Stretch and Red’s monopoly on it for the day.

You glanced down at the tablet in your lap, a little surprised by this revelation. You’d half expected to hear that Black had just barged in looking for you, but to find out that Q and Blue had apparently reached out to him was… well, honestly it made you happy to hear. You smiled down at the A.I., and then around at the others, “Oh yeah? What’d you guys do while we were gone? Just watch movies, or-?”

“OH, WE STARTED OUT PLAYING DESTINY, ACTUALLY!”

“and then we found out that k hadn’t seen mean girls, which was something that had to be rectified immediately.”

“Obviously,” you agreed with a nod.

“k?” Red repeated. “handing out nicknames now, are ya?” he asked with a skeptical lift of a brow.

“only to the people i like,” Q replied with a sharp smile, not noticing the way Black glanced down at him with some surprise.

“I’M B!” Blue proclaimed brightly and you laughed, though you could feel the tension in the room rising.

You felt a little bad, really. It seemed as though the trio had been having a good time bonding until you and the others had interrupted. You were half tempted to excuse yourself, though you had a feeling that might only make things worse if the possessive weight of both Blue and Black’s arms around your back and shoulders was anything to go by.

Behind you, Stretch was quiet a moment, eyes on his brother and his… friends. He took a breath, then said, “well i’m gonna head up to my room and take a nap. you guys have fun.”

Blue’s brow furrowed. “Papy, why don’t you watch too, we’ll-”

Stretch waved off his brother’s concern and offered him a lazy smile in reassurance. “don’t worry about it, bro. i’m bushed,” he said. Before he turned to leave, he patted your head and said, “thanks for goin’ out with me, honey.”

“Thanks for having me,” you told him with a smile. “I had a lot of fun.” You looked at Red and added, “With both of you.”

The shorter skeleton had gone tense, but on seeing you smile, he relaxed a little and shrugged. “any time, doll. you holler if you need us.”

“WHY WOULD SHE POSSIBLY NEED YOU WHEN SHE HAS _US_?” Black drawled with a pointed look at Red, who scowled. He jumped a little when Blue flicked one of his vertebrae and scowled, but managed to rein in the urge to say more, just as Stretch looped an arm lazily around Red’s shoulders and proceeded to lead him out of the room.

You could hear them speaking in hushed tones as they walked down the hallway and headed upstairs, but couldn’t make out the words. Still, with their exit, the tension seeped out of the room again and those remaining settled in comfortably once more.

“WOULD YOU LIKE TO START FROM THE BEGINNING?” Blue offered hospitably.

“Oh, we don’t have to if you don’t want to. Not like I haven’t seen it before,” you reassured him with a smile.

Without anyone touching the remote, the recording jumped back to start and Q said, “no worries, peaches. k talked through most of the intro anyways.”

“I DID NOT!”

“WELL I MEAN, YOU _KINDA_ DID, MAN.”

A blush bloomed across Black’s features, but before he could attempt to defend himself, you said, “That’s alright. I thought it was funnier the second time around anyways. You catch all kinds of little details then that you didn’t the first time.”

Q laughed and Blue smiled as Black relaxed beside you. They made for a strange trio, you thought, but oddly enough, they seemed to get along. It made you happy seeing Q connecting with more of the lodgers, and you felt much the same about Black, who was nearly as isolated as his digital doppelganger sometimes. Blue made for a good influence on both of them, you thought, and you couldn’t help but smile as you all settled back into the cushions and the movie began to play from the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah alright, I'll admit that this chapter was super fun to write XD I've been planning on having Blue and Q strike up a friendship since really early on, but the inclusion of Black in that equation is all thanks to my sister who has some super great headcanons about Black and Blue being BFFs that I adore so...here we are! Hope you enjoyed! Make sure to leave a comment if you did, and let me know what your favorite part was!


	10. Getting in your head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took so long to get done omg 8'D Thanks for your patience guys! There will be one more gyftmas chapter and then we'll be on to other things!  
> Also, side note, as I was writing the bit about tire chains on the atv, I originally just said that he put chains on it but it occurred to me on a second read through that some people might have NO IDEA what I was talking about. Have to remind myself sometimes that not everyone grew up in the north, lol. You can just google them, but tire chains are pretty much what they sound like: chains you put on your tires when the roads are particularly bad and you need the extra traction to get where you're going. All the school buses up here use them when things get bad because some genius decided it'd be a great idea to build a lot of our schools halfway up a mountain, lol.
> 
> **This chapter takes place a couple days before the events in Chapter 28 of SSLL!**
> 
> Anyways, make sure to leave a comment if you enjoyed and tell me what your favorite part was! I always love hearing that!

A familiar ringtone dragged you from your slumber and left you blinking muzzily into the morning light that filtered weakly through the windows of your room, and the skylight overhead. You grumbled a little to yourself and rolled over lethargically to feel blindly for your phone. 

After nearly knocking a pair of earrings, your glass of water, and your lamp off the bedside table, you finally found your phone and pulled it in to see just who dared bother you at nine o’clock in the morning. Granted, the more awake you became, the quicker you came to realize the answer, considering only one of your roommates had a ringtone like that.

Q.

You huffed a little, but answered the call, rather than declining. The A.I. wasn’t the type to call you first thing in the morning, after all, so you figured it must be at least somewhat important if he was doing so now.

Not feeling up to facetime so soon after waking, you left the camera off and pressed your phone to your ear. Before you could so much as say hello, though, the monster on the other end of the line asked, “riddle me this, peaches; how many robots do you think it takes to wrap a gyftmas present?”

You rolled onto your back and blinked up at your skylight for a moment as you struggled to shake off the last remnants of your nights sleep and give a semi-coherent answer. “Er...” you managed eloquently.

Q didn’t seem bothered by your inability to answer, and continued, “more than i’ve got, it turns out. don’t suppose you’d mind lending me a  _ hand  _ considering i’ve none of my own at the moment?”

His joke manages to pull a laugh out of you and you rub absently at your eyes as you yawn. “Yeah, sure,” you said when you could speak again. “Just give me a few to get some coffee. Meet you down in the basement in fifteen?”

“cabin, actually,” he corrected, then added, “sorry,” as though he could somehow hear the way you grimaced. “the atv’s out back, though. blue put tire chains on it too, so you can just drive out and save the walk.”

You heaved a huge sigh, though it was exaggerated. You didn’t actually mind the prospect of going out to his cabin. After all, riding the atv  _ was  _ pretty fun, especially since Papyrus had given you a lesson on driving it awhile back. Plus it was a chance to see what further progress the A.I. had made with the cabin you were renting him. “Alright, better make that twenty minutes, though,” you said and pushed the blankets off as you sat up in bed.

“fantastic,” Q said, gratitude clear in his tone. “i ever tell you you’re a real peach, peaches?” he asked with a warm chuckle that brought a smile to your face. 

“It’s been mentioned, once or twice,” you said with a snort of amusement as your thoughts were drawn back to the day you first met the curious captive denizen of the lodge’s basement. Q had come a long way since then, but his habit of calling you ‘peaches’ had stuck since day one. Not that you minded; you actually rather liked it.

You could hear the smile in his voice when he said, “well you are. sweetest one this side of georgia.”

“Now you’re just buttering me up. Exactly how much of a favor am I expected to be doing you here?”

Q laughed again, louder this time. “i’m not, i swear!” He paused, and after a moment, added, “although, if you’re up for it, i could use your help with something in the basement when we’re done at the cabin.”

“I knew it!” you said as you got to your feet and stretched. “Thought you were being real slick, huh?” you added, not actually annoyed with the request, but amused all the same.

“pure coincidence i  _ swear, _ ” the A.I. assured you. “besides, it’ll help me finally make some more progress with the v.r.” he said, which immediately piqued your interest.

“Oh yeah? What is it?” you asked curiously.

“i’ll tell you later. go ahead and do what you gotta do and i’ll meet you out at the cabin,” Q said evasively, making you pout a little, but agree all the same.

When you’d hung up and gone about your morning routine, Q dropped back onto his sofa to wait. He briefly considered sending one of his recently acquired camera drones out to the lodge from his cabin to trail you and make sure you made the drive safely, but decided against it. With chains on the tires of the atv the track wouldn’t be too bad, even with all the snow, and he didn’t think you’d appreciate him hovering either. Literally.

That left waiting.

He hated waiting.

Figuring he might as well put the time to good use, he dragged up several large interfaces covered with a great deal of extremely involved coding the likes of which would probably give the most knowledgeable human programmer an aneurysm. He picked at the contents absently, rearranging, deleting, and editing to put the final touches on his gift for you. One of them, anyways.

Well, that wasn’t entirely accurate. The second gift was, technically speaking, from  _ everyone;  _ he’d just helped organize it. Honestly, giving it to you was a bit of a gamble but, well, it had been so very important to everyone after Pap had brought up the idea a few weeks before, and Q would have had to be completely heartless to deny them the opportunity to give you something.

Twenty minutes passed and the external censors out of his cabin jangled the alarm as someone approached, making Q start as the camera feed popped up automatically to show you parking the atv not far from the front porch.

It was still chilly out with so much snow on the ground, so you’d bundled up before making the drive out to Q’s cabin. It really was a lot faster than walking, especially since some of your lodgers had been out that way and cleared a lot of the underbrush to make the path more accessible. 

After you dismounted, you paused, taking a moment to get a good look at the place to see how much of the damage Black and Edge had done to it on halloween had been repaired. You were pleasantly surprised to realize that the sizeable hole in the roof had been repaired, as had the external walls. They still needed some siding replaced, but everything looked structurally sound, which was saying something after what had been done to the poor cabin.

Satisfied with your initial inspection and curious to finally get a look at the inside of the place, you stepped up onto the porch and were just about to knock when the door swung open with a click. You smiled wryly to yourself and pushed it the rest of the way open, then stepped inside.

The space within was significantly smaller than you had thought it would be, taking you off guard. A quick look around, however, revealed a doorway tucked into a corner, through which you assumed the rest of the place was accessed. Everything had an unfinished feel to it, including the walls, which were plain drywall that had yet to be plastered. The room was packed to the gills with machinery that did god knew what, and a few work benches, on which there was a pile of things that included brightly colored wrapping paper and everything needed for package wrapping.

Next to the work surface there was a robot, not one you had seen before, which meant, you supposed that Q had built it after getting some of his new equipment settled out here at the cabin. It was a head shorter than you, and had a central camera on a swivel neck over its boxy torso, and four arms. It sat on a central pillar which attached to a heavy looking base with treads, which no doubt allowed it to turn on a dime without all the effort of actually building it legs.

“Hey, buddy,” you said and patted it absently on the ‘shoulder’ as you leaned in to look at the ragged mess it appeared to have made of the paper. “Weren’t quite up to the task, huh?”

The robot stirred suddenly, making you pull your hand away in surprise. “i’d say it was  _ all thumbs,  _ but technically it’s only got clamps,” Q’s voice said, seemingly from the thin air.

You blinked at the robot and said, “Uh, are you...are you  _ in  _ the robot, Q?”

The A.I. chuckled and you glanced around again, this time noticing the exposed speakers set into the ceiling. “nah. it’s got it’s own programming, though i can control it remotely from here if i need to. i just don’t have many cameras set up yet, so he generally acts as my eyes.”

“Oh,” you said thoughtfully, and it was like he said; you could see only a few speakers installed thus far, and no central interface setup like he had back in the lab.

“sorry for the mess,” Q mused as the robot’s ‘eye’ turned to regard you. “it’s still under construction but, uh… welcome to chateau de q,” the monster joked and you chuckled in turn.

Figuring you might as well get to business, you shucked your coat, hat, and gloves and put them to the side as you asked, “So, what’s his name?”

“whose name?” Q asked, confused. You wished you could actually see him like normal, but figure setting up your phone as a screen was just a waste of time. Better to get the packages wrapped and then get back to the lodge to work on whatever the more interesting project the A.I. had planned for you was.

You glanced back at the camera and grinned. “The robot’s obviously. What do you call it?” you clarified as you pushed aside the tattered remains of the previous attempt to wrap.

“oh,” Q replied, understanding dawning in his voice. He snorted at the thought, though, and said, “today? ‘useless’, mostly. other than that, i haven’t really felt the need.”

“Oh, now that's just rude,” you told Q, though you couldn't help but laugh a little even as you reached out and patted the robot on its 'head'. “If you don't have a name for him, though, I'm going to call him...” you paused and thought for a moment, then grinned and proclaimed, “Wilson!”

“i refuse to replace his head with a volleyball,” Q replied bluntly, though you're familiar enough with him these days to catch the hint of amusement in his voice even without being able to see his expression.

“That's alright,” you said as you pulled the stack of gifts that had been left on the table towards you. “I wasn't particularly looking forward to giving him a bloody hand print for a face.”

He laughed as you turned your attention to the pile of gifts, on top of which was a pair of identical books that read ‘ _ Pan Dimensional Magical Engineering for Dummies _ '. “Well, let’s get started then. Who are these for?” you asked, though you certainly had your suspicions.

Wilson's camera turned towards the books in your hand and Q confirmed your guess by answering, “red and stretch.”

“Of course,” you muse but decide not to comment. You decided to take it as a good sign that Q had gotten the pair something at all, even if it  _ was  _ a gag gift.

After sorting through the limited selection of wrapping paper on hand, you picked on you liked and started to unroll it.

“no not that one,” Q said, and you paused, glancing down at Wilson. “that one,” the A.I. instructed smugly and used one of the robot's arms to point to a particularly garish and glittery roll you had passed over on principle. It hurt to look at.

Still, these were his gifts after all, so you just rolled your eyes and complied with his request, setting aside your choice for his. “You're terrible,” you said and he just laughed again as you worked. You were no artist when it came to gift wrapping, but the end product is competent, and certainly more skillful than poor Wilson's attempt. You labeled the gifts appropriately, then set them aside and pulled the next gift towards you.

It was a plain white garment box, and you couldn't resist asking, “You mind if I-”

“go ahead, peaches,” Q replied with a little wave of both Wilson's arms that you interpreted as a shrug.

Permission received, you carefully slipped the lid of the box off and looked inside to find a very fine black leather jacket within. “Oh wow,” you said, and pulled the garment out of its box to get a better look at it. It was quite long, probably falling to mid calf on whoever the new owner was going to be, assuming it wasn't for one of the taller boys. The leather was supple and pleasant to the touch in the way that only real leather was, with that distinct scent that you loved. You didn't see any tags on it at all, so you asked, “Where'd this come from? And who's it for?”

Again the odd shrug from the robot at your side. “it's a custom job. figured black could use a good leather jacket so he can stop eyeballing blue's when he thinks no one's looking,” Q mused, humor in his voice.

Black certainly had been visiting the lodge more ever since that night you, Stretch, and Red had found him hanging out with Blue and Q, watching Mean Girls on the sofa. You hadn't realized they'd become close enough to land Black on Q's gift list, though. You're pleased at this revelation and smiled down into Wilson's camera as you refolded the jacket and returned it to its box. “Well, I'm sure he'll love it. Any preference on paper for this one?”

“nah, dealer's choice on all the rest of these.”

When you finished, you grab the next gift and are a little surprised when you recognize it. “Hey, these are just like the ones you-”

“melted with lasers, yeah,” Q said and chuckled as you turned the box of action figures over in your hands to get a better look at them. You still remembered that day when Q had been testing his new laser system and wound up melting Edge's action figures by accident in the process. Both of you had gotten an earful, though you were surprised Q went through the effort of finding replicas of the originals. Or maybe he'd had these made too? After all, hadn't Edge customized them himself? “figured it was only fair,” the A.I. mused.

“You're just tired of hearing him rant about it, aren't you?” you teased lightly as you started wrapping.

“Aren't  _ you _ ?” he shot back, and you could imagine the rueful grin he was no doubt wearing as he said the words. After a moment, he added, “edge may be a brat most days, but that doesn't mean he deserves to have his projects destroyed.”

Your eyebrows went up a little in surprise at this admission. Well, you weren’t surprised to hear him call Edge a brat, but his respect for the other's personal belongings was nice to hear. Deciding not to comment so as not to embarrass the monster into reconsidering, you gave voice to another question, “So did you get these custom too? I had thought Edge made those himself, or at least customized existing figurines he found.”

“yeah” Q admitted. “i still had the test footage and you got a pretty clear shot of them in there, so I was able to get them replicated, especially once I 3d mapped them.”

“You really like getting people unique gifts, don't you?” you observed with a smile. “looks like the only things you really bought were the books.”

“oh no, i made those too,” Q said. “i mean, we've  _ all  _ got the money to pretty much just buy what we want whenever we want, so I gotta get creative,” he pointed out as you stared down into Wilson's camera, hands frozen halfway through your work.

“... You wrote an entire book on a theoretical field of magic science for a  _ gag gift _ ?” you asked after a long moment of baffled silence.

He laughed again, the sound low and rich as it rolled out of the speakers overhead. “go hard or go home, peaches. get on my level.”

“I don't think I'd dare,” you admitted weakly, making him laugh again as you finished wrapping Edge's gift.

The next item to be wrapped also proved to be a book, and as you pulled it towards you, you asked, “Did you write this one too?”

“nah,” Q admitted, though you could hear the grin in his voice. “but it's out of print, and not very well known. i thought papyrus would appreciate the subject matter, though.”

Intrigued, you examined the hefty, old looking tome in your hands and read aloud, “'History's Greatest Puzzles',” then flipped briefly through the pages to find diagrams of truly formidable puzzles that ranged from the tombs of ancient pharaohs, to incredible Greek labyrinths that gave you a headache just glancing at them. You closed it and smiled as you admitted, “Definitely seems right up his alley. I'm sure he'll love it. You did really well with  _ all  _ your gifts, honestly.”

Q sounded genuinely pleased when he replied, “i'm glad you think so. I'd say I'd put a lot of work into those gag gifts, but honestly tracking down that puzzle book was probably the most difficult.”

You snorted lightly in amusement as you wrapped, and when you were done, you were a little surprised to realize there were no other gifts to do. “Nothing for Blue?” you asked with a frown of consternation down at Wilson.

“what, you think one of the nicest people here somehow made it onto my naughty list?” Q asked with a huff of amusement and you realize just how silly your question had been. Blue was, after all, the person Q got on best with among the brothers in the lodge. 

“Alright, it was a dumb question,” you admitted. “So what’d you get him then?”

“some rare items for a few of his favorite games,” Q answered. “the kind of stuff you can’t buy with game currency. rare drops or limited releases, that kind of thing.”

Well, no wonder he hadn’t needed you to wrap anything. You leaned against the table, then and with a teasing smile asked, “So, you got everyone else some pretty great stuff… what’d you get  _ me _ ?”

“who says i got you anything?” Q remarked casually and you pushed at Wilson a little, making him roll back a few inches. “maybe you’re on my naughty list, peaches,” he added, tone gone low and sly.

“Lies and slander!” you exclaimed with a laugh. “What have I ever done to you, Q?”

You turned to collect the gifts you’d wrapped, and in the process completely missed the A.I.’s murmured, “it’s more what you  _ haven’t  _ done, really.”

“I’ll bring these back to the lodge with me and stick them under the tree,” you offered when you turned back towards Wilson and smiled.

“trying to worm your way back onto my nice list, are you?”

You just winked at him and started towards the door, pausing when Wilson trundled past and pulled it open for you. “I’ve never gotten a piece of coal in my life, I’ll have you know,” you informed the monster and he only laughed again. You paused for a moment and readjusted your grip on the packages in your arms, then asked, “You still want help with that other project back in the lab?”

“yeah, if you’re free,” Q replied, seeming pleased that you’d remembered. “when you get back, do me a favor and grab all the spices you’ve got, and anything decent in the fridge and bring it down to the lab, will you?”

You stared down into Wilson’s camera for a moment, baffled by this request. “Uh, okay,” you said eventually. “Am I allowed to ask why?”

“you’ll see,” Q replied enigmatically, then used Wilson to usher you out the door without further explanation.

The door snapped shut behind you, and you huffed a little at your digital friend’s vagaries. Realizing there was no point standing around in the cold brooding over it, though, you packed everything up onto the atv and head back to the lodge to find out first hand just what Q has planned for you.

* * *

Papyrus found you squatting in front of the refrigerator a little while later, shoving anything that still looked edible into a box at your feet. Mostly it was condiments at this point.

“PLEASE TELL ME YOU AREN’T ATTEMPTING TO REPLICATE MY BROTHER’S TERRIBLE LUNCH HABITS,” the skeleton said as he peered over the door of the fridge to see what you were doing.

You looked up at him and laughed, shaking your head as you finished gathering anything remotely edible and pushed back to your feet. “No, nothing of the sort, trust me,” you reassured him as you turned to the nearest cabinet and began pulling out all of the spices. Blue and Papyrus weren’t particularly  _ good  _ cooks, but they certainly were enthusiastic when it came to trying to ingredients in their dishes. While things like glitter made it into their food far more often than you’d like (e.g.  _ at all _ ), they also liked to try more normal  things on occasion as well, so there was actually quite the selection.

“THANK THE STARS FOR THAT,” Papyrus said with a laugh and let the refrigerator door swing shut. “IF YOU’RE NOT PLANNING TO COOK, THOUGH, WHAT  _ ARE  _ YOU DOING, AND MAY I HELP?”

“Honestly, I have no idea,” you mused, and at the quizzical look the much taller monster gave you, you clarified, “Q said he needed some help with a test down in the lab, and apparently that requires I bring all of...this.”

You waved a hand at your now burgeoning box of food related items and Papyrus cocked his head to one side, obviously intrigued by this new antic of his brother’s doppelganger. “DO YOU THINK HE’D MIND IF I JOINED? SURELY TWO ASSISTANTS WOULD BE BETTER THAN ONE!” He suggested hopefully.

“Well, it can’t hurt to ask,” you said after a moment’s consideration. You knew Q and Pap got along quite well, so you felt safe saying as much. Then again, you’d never seen Pap or Blue down in the basement either, so maybe that was the line? Well, like you said, it didn’t hurt to ask!

You grabbed the box off the counter and grunted a little at the weight of it. You didn’t have to bear the burden for long, though, as Papyrus quickly swept it from your grasp and motioned for you to lead the way. “IF NOTHING ELSE, I CAN AT LEAST CARRY THIS DOWNSTAIRS FOR YOU!” He said with a bright smile that you returned gratefully.

When you both reached the bottom of the basement staircase, Papyrus standing close behind you in the limited space, you glanced up at the camera and said “Hey Q, I’ve got the stuff! Mind if Pap joins us?”

On the other side of the camera, Q glanced at the video feed and paused, not just because he tended to covet any one-on-one time he managed to get with you, but because it was Papyrus you were inviting along. He was one of the rare monsters in the lodge he actually didn’t mind spending time with (even if it meant sharing your attention), but the prospect of inviting him into the lab was something else. He had, technically speaking, never been explicitly forbidden to do so by any of the others; though no doubt Sans would be annoyed that Q had exposed his precious little brother to his dubious creation…

The A.I. drummed his fingers on his desk absently as he thought, then activated the mic program and said, “nah, welcome aboard, pap. come on in.”

You and Papyrus both beamed up into the camera when Q unlocked the door and let you in, and the monster figured the argument he’d no doubt have with Sans over it later was worth it.

“HOW EXCITING, I HAVEN’T BEEN DOWN HERE SINCE SANS MOVED THE MACHINE IN!” Papyrus said behind you as you both entered and you stepped to one side so you could close the door after him.

“just make sure not to touch anything,” Q warned through the overhead speakers even as Papyrus leaned in to get a closer look at something. He pulled away immediately, looking contrite, and waited for you to lead the way.

You patted the monster’s arm, then continued into Q’s room, interrupting a few robots not dissimilar to Wilson in design as they cleaned up some pieces-parts scattered across the work surfaces. Papyrus stupped in the doorway and stared, seeming fascinated by the room and occupants within. When you noticed he was no longer on your heels, you turned to see his wide-eyed expression and smiled a little before doubling back and gently taking him by the arm.

The skeleton gave a start, then flashed you an abashed grin. “WOWIE! I DIDN’T REALIZE WE HAD ROBOTS DOWN HERE!” he exclaimed brightly as he stopped and put your box of condiments and spices on the work table nearest Q’s main interface as the huge monitor clicked on.

“they make it easier to get stuff done around here when your la-” Q paused and checked himself as he looked down into Papyrus’ open, beatific expression, and decided forgo name calling the other skeleton’s brother for once. “-when the others aren’t around,” he finished with a wry smile.

Papyrus nodded cheerfully, attention darting here and there around the room, taking everything in even as you met the A.I.’s gaze and flashed him an approving smile for his self control. To your amusement, Q flushed a little and cleared his throat, one hand flexing absently even as he pulled up an interface with the other.

“So what are we doing?” you asked and approached the bank of screens. One of the robots was there, fiddling with some wires and plugging a complicated array in to one of the server banks.

Q glanced down at you as Papyrus joined you at the desk and peered over the much smaller robot’s shoulder to watch it work. “scanning your brain, actually.”

You blinked up at him, and he grinned as you asked, “What?”

“your brain, peaches. i’ve hit a bit of a doldrums on the road to progress here, and if i could get a working neural map of the inside of that noggin of yours, i think it’ll give me the data i need for my next breakthrough.”

Papyrus straightened and looked at the screen as well, brow furrowed in confusion as he asked, “AND YOU NEED CONDIMENTS TO DO THAT BECAUSE-?”

“well they’re not to season her brain with, i promise,” Q joked and you snorted. The A.I. glanced down at your noise and winked as he said, “don’t worry, i think you’re tasty enough as is. no spices required.”

You felt yourself flush as you laughed and shook your head at his absurdity. Papyrus made a small choking noise at the joke, but Q continued before he could comment.

“i’m trying to kill two birds with one stone here,” he explained, rubbing his hands together before bringing up an array of dazzling and downright confusing interfaces on his end that you couldn’t even begin to make heads or tails of. “to get a really good scan of your brain we’ll need to stimulate it some way. doing visual tests is common, listening to music would be good too, but  _ taste  _ will help me solve a little problem of my own on this side of things. our sense of taste is still way out of whack, but with some extra data i think i could put it right.” He paused thoughtfully and said, “actually, maybe we’ll just combine all three tests, shouldn’t be hard and it’d give a more accurate data set...” he muttered a little to himself as his fingers flew across one of the displays, seeming to make adjustments of some sort.

Well, the explanation certainly  _ seemed  _ legit to you. “Why not just do some cooked food? We could run to the store or something,” you suggested, not particularly looking forward to tasting a bunch of raw spices and condiments.

“OH! YES, I COULD COOK SOME SPAGHETTI AND YOU COULD ‘MAP’ THAT! SURELY IT WOULD BE GOOD TO HAVE DATA ON THE MOST DELICIOUS FOOD AROUND!” Papyrus suggested brightly, grinning between you and Q as you struggled not to grimace at the thought.

“Sure, maybe later, Papyrus,” you said, suddenly wishing you’d kept your mouth shut about cooked food.

“absolutely  _ not, _ ” Q said with a snort, most of his attention still on his interfaces. “i’m trying to get flavor profiles that will help me sort out  _ good  _ tastes so we can actually have some real food over here for a change.”

There was no ire in the A.I.’s tone, but you flinched when you saw the way Papyrus’ expression fell as a result. “Oh, don’t listen to him Pap, your cooking is  _ fine.  _ How about you make spaghetti for dinner?” you suggested even as your stomach threatened to revolt at the prospect.

“I-” Papyrus began, but to your surprise, Q’s gaze snapped around to you and he arched a brow in challenge.

“peaches, don’t  _ coddle  _ him for god’s sake. how’s he supposed to get better at cooking if everyone keeps telling him he’s great when it’s patently not true? hell, blue, black, and edge are all terrible at it too; it’s just no one is willing to hurt their precious feelings and tell them straight up to get some damn cooking lessons.”

Papyrus’ expression became hurt and your protective instincts flared, offended by the blase tone Q had adapted in tearing down his friend’s lack of culinary aptitude. “Q, don’t be an asshole!” you snapped. “I can’t believe you’d just say something like-”

“IT’S OKAY,” Papyrus said quickly, clearly trying to rally in spite of his hurt feelings. “YOU DON’T HAVE TO-”

Q’s eye sockets narrowed as he looked down at you, one hand tightened into a fist. For a moment you thought he might simply turn off the screen and leave you and Pap alone in the basement, but to your surprise, he ignored you entirely and turned his attention to Papyrus instead.

“look, pap, if it turned out you were terrible at something you thought you were really good at, but no one wanted to tell you, wouldn’t you WANT them to so you could actually get good at it? i mean, wouldn’t that be better than thinking you’re already the best and never learning anything at all?” Papyrus blinked and stared up at him, seeming taken aback by the suggestion. Q sighed a little, the tension that had built in his shoulders when he’d been staring you down faded and his hand unclasped from a fist to rest idly on the surface of his desk. “look, buddy, i’m sorry i was an ass about it, i’m kinda shit with that stuff sometimes. that’s my fault, i know,” the A.I. pinched the bridge of his nasal bone and massaged it absently as he continued, “ _ my  _ pap will probably never be able to cook right since being bad at it seems to be hardwired into his coding, but dammit,  _ you _ don’t have the excuse of undeletable coding!” He released his hold on his nose and looked up into the camera to say, “ _ you  _ could be great, pap! but you gotta admit that you’re bad first or you’ll never improve.”

“I...” Papyrus began, then paused, emotions flickering across his angular features in rapid succession that you couldn’t quite track despite your familiarity with him. Then, to your surprise, he said, “YES. YES I THINK I WOULD RATHER FIND OUT I WAS BAD AT SOMETHING SO I COULD IMPROVE AND MAKE THINGS THAT MY FRIENDS GENUINELY ENJOY.” To your horror, the monster turned to you then and asked, “IS Q RIGHT? IS MY COOKING REALLY BAD? DO YOU NOT LIKE IT?”

You could see the hope lingering behind his gaze and you wanted so,  _ so  _ desperately to lie to him and tell him yet again that he was amazing and didn’t need to change a thing. Out of the corner of your eye, though, you could see Q watching,  brow lifted in silent challenge and you know that even if he went about it in the worst way possible, the A.I. was right. Sure you all meant well in trying to protect Papyrus’ feelings (and yes, Black, Blue, and Edge’s as well), but at the end of the day it really  _ was  _ lying, and you were doing them a tremendous disservice. Plus, telling Papyrus he was good now would feel even more like lying than it usually did…

A heavy sigh escaped you and you finally nodded. “Yeah,” you admitted, the flicker of hurt that snuffed out that little light of hope from your friend’s gaze breaking your heart. “I’m sorry!” you said hurriedly even as Papyrus dropped into a nearby chair, seeming almost catatonic with shock at this revelation. “Oh Pap, we just didn’t want to hurt your feelings, you always try so hard and-” Your friend didn’t seem to be hearing anything you said, however, and you bit your bottom lip in distress.

“just let him be for a bit, peaches,” Q said. “my bro gets like that sometimes when he’s had a shock too. he’s processing is all, he’ll bounce back in no time, promise.”

Realizing there really wasn’t much else you could do for the moment, you decided to listen to the A.I.’s advice. If he stayed like that too long, you figured, you could always go find Sans. No doubt he could snap him out of it. In the meantime, you turned and looked at Q with a disapproving frown, hands on your hips.

The monster didn’t flinch, though, just raised one brow again and waited to see what you would say. 

Finally you just sighed and let your shoulders drop, realizing there wasn’t much you  _ could  _ say. He’d already apologized to Papyrus for being so blunt about things, and in the end, you had to admit that he  _ did  _ have a point. You and the others had been coddling Papyrus and the rest to their own detriment (and that of your stomachs) for the sake of saving their feelings and that didn’t do them any kind of justice when it came right down to it.

You offered Q an olive branch in the form of a small, if somewhat exasperated smile, and asked, “Alright, so what have I got to do for this brain scan of yours?”

You didn’t think you were imagining the relief that washed across the skeleton’s features before he flashed you an apologetic smile in turn. “drag those ingredients of yours over here and take a seat, peaches,” he said as the robot that had taken up a place next to his interface after finishing its wiring job came to life again. While you did as instructed you realized it was holding a helmet that positively dripped wires and looked as though it had maybe been a motorcycle helmet at some point before Q’s robots had gotten their hands (clamps?) on it.

“Well, here goes nothing,” you murmured to yourself as you put the thing on while Q chuckled in the background.

* * *

The series of tests Q put you through were odd, but easy enough. You tasted the array of ingredients you had brought with you while you looked at images and then listened to music as well. You weren’t sure exactly what all kind of data the monster was getting out of all this, but he seemed pleased.

“well, i can confidently say, peaches, you’ve got the prettiest cranial nervous system  _ i’ve  _ ever seen,” Q informed you over half an hour later.

You snorted and almost choked on the mouthful of water you’d been using to wash the taste of paprika out of your mouth. “Seen a lot of those, have you?”

“probably more than anyone who isn’t a freaking neuroscientist over the course of researching this. maybe even some of those,” he admitted with a huff of amusement that made you glance up at the screen. He looked a little tired, but determined as he narrowed his eye sockets, processing the fresh wave of data your brain had apparently just provided him. 

“You’ve put a lot of work into this,” you said. It wasn’t a question, just an observation, but something in your tone draws his gaze.

“yeah,” he agreed quietly, and the gentle smile on his face made your heart flutter unexpectedly, though you weren’t sure why. His expression shifted to something teasing when he continued, “i’m just dying to try a peach finally, you know?”

His response startled a laugh out of you and he chuckled until something behind you drew his attention. You followed his gaze and saw him looking at Papyrus, who was still sitting in the same position he’d dropped into half an hour ago. You were about to say something in hopes of waking your friend from his catatonia, but a small, shushing wave of Q’s hand forestalled you. The A.I. grinned, pressed a finger to his lips, then proceeded to count down from five on his long, pale digits.

When he hit zero, Papyrus surged to his feet and declared, “RIGHT!” startling so bad you very nearly fell out of your seat. Before you could even recover from your scare and ask if your friend was alright, the towering skeleton approached you, then took both your hands in his. He wore an earnest, determined expression on his face as he stared into your eyes and said, “I’M GOING TO LEARN HOW TO COOK,” he informed you. “ _ REALLY  _ COOK! IT MAY TAKE TIME, AND A GREAT DEAL OF PRACTICE, BUT AT THE END OF IT, I’M GOING TO MAKE YOU YOUR FAVORITE MEAL, DEAR FRIEND, SO BE READY!”

“P-Pap,” you stammered, completely taken off guard by this abrupt shift in mood. Still, you couldn’t say you weren’t relieved to see him seemingly back to his old self. He squeezed your hands in his much larger ones and you smiled warmly up at him, then said, “I’ll look forward to it, then. Just let me know if you want any help, okay?”

Papyrus bobbed his head eagerly, then gave your hands one last squeeze before rounding on his heel and sweeping out of the lab, leaving you feeling as though a tornado had just torn through the place.

A low laugh from behind drew your attention back to Q’s monitor and you saw him leaned back in his chair, chin propped up on one hand as he regarded you with heavy-lidded eye sockets. “told you he was just processing.”

You shot the skeleton a wry smile and adjusted your helmet a little as you said, “Yeah, yeah, no need to rub it in, mister know-it-all.”

“know-it-all seems a bit strong,” he countered. “i’m more of a ‘know-it- _ most _ ’, really...”

Q’s words petered off and you looked at him in question, but his gaze was locked on one of his hovering interface screens. “Q?” you asked, concerned by his silence.

“holy shit, i think we did it,” he said as he sat up in his chair, both hands going to his head. A laugh of disbelief escaped him as, like dominoes toppling one after the other, scattered bits of data clicked into place in a cascade that shifted the entire sensory system in his world.

“What?” You asked, surprised as you tugged the helmet off your head and made a half-hearted attempt to neaten your hair. “We haven’t even finished tasting everything!”

Hands still on his head and grinning like an idiot, Q turned to you and, in a rush of words that practically tumbled out of him, explained, “i didn’t need the flavor profiles from your brain, i already had all that data from some flavor research i got access to. what i  _ needed _ was a practical example of how said flavors stimulate the human glossopharyngeal nerve and produce the sensation of ‘taste’, and once i had enough examples the formula was finally able to resolve itself and-”

“And now you can taste things properly?” you finished for him when words finally failed the chattering A.I.. You were grinning, pleased to have been able to help with what was apparently an important project Q had been struggling with for some time.

“yeah!” he exclaimed, laughing again as he reached out and grabbed the camera and gave it an excited shake, then lunged to his feet. “i should go,” he said. “i gotta, i don’t know-”

“Eat an entire buffet?” you suggested with a laugh, finding his excitement contagious. “What are you gonna try first?” you asked as you carefully set aside the helmet and grinned up at the screen. The angle of the feed was odd thanks to how Q was still holding the camera in both hands rather than letting it free float the way he usually did.

“i don’t know,” he admitted, wide-eyed as he raked one hand back across his skull with the soft scrape of bone on bone. “wait,” he said, eyelights flaring bright in his sockets as he recalled what he’d said earlier. “peaches.”

“Yeah?” you asked, canting your head curiously to one side, mouth twisting in amusement.

The A.I. threw his head back and laughed, loud and low and rich in a way you rarely heard it. You didn’t think you’d ever seen him quite so delighted, and the sound had you grinning, toes curling a little in your shoes. “no, i mean i’m going to try a peach first,” he clarified, smiling down at you with an unabashed, earnest happiness that brought the blush back to your cheeks.

“Oh!” you said, laughing a little at the misunderstanding. “Well go!” you said and waved him away. “What are you waiting for? You should go eat with your friends!”

He seemed torn for a moment, smile fading a little bit into something softer. “this is all thanks to you, peaches; i wish you could be here,” he said, gaze shifting from the lense so he was no longer meeting your gaze. There was a subtle creak from the camera as his grip on it tightened unconsciously before he released a long breath. “soon, though, i promise,” he continued, smile returning before you could think of anything to say. “the data we got today will go a long way to helping with v.r. too.”

You smiled in turn and said, “I’m glad. The food better be damn food after all that stuff I had to choke down for this test, though,” you joked even as you glanced back at the box of condiments and spices with a grimace.

Q laughed and said, “you’ll get the best damn meal of your life, i promise.”

Your eyebrows went up and your smile turned mischievous. “You know, Papyrus just promised the same thing. Better bring your a-game,” you said.

“oh peaches,” Q replied with a low, spine-tingling chuckle. “i always do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading! Like I said up top, there will be one more gyftmas chapter (HOPEFULLY shorter than this one but who the fuck knows lol) and then we'll finally move on!  
> Lol there was a lot of leather jackets going around this Gyftmas, which cracks me up. Ty and I didn't confer on gifts other than what Q got for Lady, and we both came up with mentions of the bros and their cooking issues on our own too...I think we might have accidentally moved into one another's brains while we weren't paying attention XD  
> Make sure to leave a comment if you enjoyed and let me know what you thought, and your favorite part!


	11. 'Tis the Season

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man I'm so sorry this took so long to get posted guys, I feel like I've been working on it for 84 years 8'D This chapter was originally also going to include some day after Christmas stuff, but it wound up being quite long in its own right, so that will come next chapter!  
> Remember to follow [my Undertale blog](https://jolie-in-the-underground.tumblr.com/) for more fun Q content, or if you want to send him an ask! I also sometimes post bonus story content there that I don't post anywhere else! Not to mention art, heh.
> 
> Don't forget to drop a review and let me know what your favorite part was! I always love hearing that from you guys!

“YO SANS, HURRY UP AND GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE ALREADY!”

“‘dyne, i am  _ right  _ here,” Q said with an emphatic roll of his eyelights as he closed the last few feet between himself and the taller monster. “but i might be deaf now, so you know, whatever.”

Undyne just beamed down at him, showing enough of her shark-like teeth to make most people uncomfortable, though to her friends it was just business as usual.

“Quit your bitching and try this cookie Alph made,” the monster said as she slung an arm around his shoulders and proceeded to shove a chocolate chip cookie into his mouth.

Q’s would-be objection became a garbled ‘hrmafgls’ as the treat was forced on him. Seeing as it was eat or choke, the skeleton quickly started chewing and swallowed the mouthful, then removed the rest and looked at it considerately, all annoyance forgotten. “damn, that’s fucking  _ delicious, _ ” he admitted, blinking up at Undyne, whose terrifying smile only widened further.

The fish monster squeezed her arm around his shoulders and jostled him affectionately. “Right?! I’ve been eating them nonstop! Good thing we don’t have to worry about getting fat around here or she would’a had to roll me down here to the party!”

Q snorted around his second bite of cookie at the mental image and Undyne pushed him away from her side when he laughed outright. The skeleton stumbled a few steps, but caught his stride and recovered before he wound up face down in the snow in the middle of the street. This brought him nose-to-chest with Papyrus, who was wearing the loudest looking Gyftmas sweater the skeleton had ever seen. 

“what is _ that, _ ” he asked, torn between horror and admiration at the sheer garishness of the garment. Papyrus wasn’t exactly known for his understated fashion, but he  _ did  _ always keep it sharp. This was… this was different.

“A GYFTMAS SWEATER, OBVIOUSLY!” Papyrus explained with a bright smile down at his older brother as Gaster and Alphys caught up with the rest of them. Q wasn’t the only one transfixed by the taller skeleton’s sweater. “OR IS IT CHRISTMAS?” he mused, “TECHNICALLY WEARING TERRIBLY OVER DECORATED SWEATERS IS A HUMAN TRADITION IN THIS REALITY, BUT APPARENTLY MONSTERS HAVE BEEN ADOPTING IT AS WELL, SO I THOUGHT I WOULD TRY MY HAND AT DESIGNING ONE!”

Q laughed and poked at one of the googly-eyed reindeers embedded in the thick, knitted fabric. “well, bro, i think you’ve proved you really have an  _ eye  _ for this whole gyftmas sweater thing.”

Papyrus beamed proudly at the compliment, in far too good of spirits to so much as groan at his brother’s play on words.

“Pap that sweater is sick as hell! You gonna share that design or what?” Undyne asked hopefully, seeming delighted by the sweater’s garishness even as Alphys grimaced good-naturedly.

The skeleton brightened at her question and said, “ACTUALLY, I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF DESIGNING ONE FOR EACH OF YOU!” Papyrus opened an interface with a deft flick of a wrist and the group watched as his long fingers danced across the glowing display until, a moment later, they each received a notification stating that a new item had been gifted to them.

Q’s brows both went up in surprise and he wondered when Papyrus had had the time to design all his friends sweaters considering he’d also headed the team that decorated Snowdin for the Gyftmas party that was just starting to kick into high gear. He opened the item and ‘equipped’ it, then looked down at his chest to see the dazzling sweater that appeared there a second later.

“holy shit, pap, this is amazing,” he said and laughed as he pulled it out a little from his chest to better look at it. The fabric was a deep crimson, covered in blinking colored lights and glittering ornaments. Best of all, though, was the bold, cursive text that said ‘Naughty List Alumnus’. Q glanced up around the group and saw that everyone else was bedecked in thematically similar, though completely unique, sweaters. 

Undyne was bent over double laughing at her gift, which had a distinctly silly looking reindeer dancing excitedly on the front. Alphys was giggling, and even Gaster was grinning as he idly tapped at one of the glittering bobbles on the front of his new shirt.

“MERRY GYFTMAS, EVERYONE!” Papyrus declared, clearly delighted by the overwhelmingly positive reactions to his sweaters, which were getting some rather amused glances from passers-by. 

Q chuckled and threw an arm around his brother to give him an affectionate, one armed squeeze. “merry gyftmas, pap.” They shared a smile, but before things got too sentimental, Q turned to the group and said, “let’s hit up this party before all the food’s gone, huh?”

“ _ I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT THE CUISINE HAD BEEN SET ON AN INFINITY LOOP? _ ” Gaster mused as they all started down the snow covered street again.

“It better have been!” Undyne chimed in. “If they run out of rum balls before we even get there, I swear to god-”

Q rolled his eyes and waved off their concerns, “just a joke, guys, of course the food’s infinite. we finally have something worth eating, you think we’d screw you like that?”

“Of course not,” Alphys said with a smile, rolling her eyes at her much taller girlfriend’s antics as they walked hand-in-hand a little behind Papyrus and Q.

They rounded the corner of a building then and stopped to admire the scene before them. 

There had always been a Gyftmas tree programmed into the center of town, and they hadn’t changed that after all these years. It had been made significantly taller for the occasion, however, and decorated to the nines with glittering ornaments that ranged from simple to faberge egg levels of detail. Rather than string lights, the tree was lit by candles that never went out, and there were streamers made of snowflakes that looked exactly like the real thing, but sized up to be easily admired by the naked eye.

At the base of the tree a series of long tables had been set up to hold a truly astonishing array of food, and there were several bonfires going here and there for people to stand around. Technically it could be any temperature they wanted here without sacrificing the snow, but Papyrus had decided (and Q agreed), that there was something special about standing around a warm fire with friends and family in the cold. 

The doors to Grillby’s had been thrown wide, allowing people to drift in and out to acquire specialty drinks at their leisure. Even from there the food smelled incredible, and as one, their group made a beeline for it. Just about every dish a person could imagine seemed to be there in an unending supply despite Q having only just finally cracked the flavor code a couple of days before. No one had quite finished a proper teaching program for cooking yet that everyone could access, not even  _ they  _ were that fast, but in lieu of the easy road, the citizens of their digital world had risen to the occasion and taught themselves the old fashioned way in honor of the holiday.

Youtube tutorials really were a gift.

“ _ I’M GOING TO BRING GRILLBY A PLATE, _ ” Gaster told Q and the skeleton nodded readily as he shoveled a spoonful of something orange and sweet smelling onto his already overladen plate.

“drag his ass out from behind the bar while you’re at it,” he told his friend. “it can run on auto for awhile. make your man take you ice skating or something,” Q added with a teasing grin as he nodded towards the skating rink that had, indeed, been set up nearby just for the occasion. He chuckled when the other scientist flushed a little, then took a breath and straightened. It was an odd trick Gaster could pull that made him go from inky blob person to tall, dark, and lean gentleman. He still had no arms, but his hands bore the two plates of food easily as he gave Q one last nod and went in search of his boyfriend.

The skeleton snorted a little and watched his friend go before turning his attention back to his dinner.

* * *

A couple of hours later, Q was watching two of his least favorite idiots dance and sing along to an overplayed christmas song, and working very hard to keep his annoyance in check when they dragged you in to join them. His gaze lingered where their hands touched you, but he kept his mouth shut and didn’t say anything. You were clearly having a good time, and no one was at each other’s throats for a change, so  _ he  _ wasn’t about to be the one responsible for ruining the mood.

The tension in his chest eased, allowing him to laugh when you climbed up the coffee table and began to dance and sing on your own despite Rus’ warning about the last party you tried that at. 

"please don't break anything, peaches," he warned. Luckily, the lodge’s coffee table seemed to be made of stronger stuff than your friend’s.

Papyrus helped you dismount your impromptu stage at the end of your musical number and everyone settled down into more comfortable positions. You asked him if he’d met the others before, and he admitted, truthfully, that he had not.

With the exception of G, of course.

He was truthful in his answer, he’d only met this peculiar fusion of an alternate Sans and Gaster once, though he knew quite a bit about him thanks to his file. The question that occupied the A.I.s thoughts, though, was how much G himself knew.

The conversation carried on, and Q could hear himself responding easily to you and the others, even needling Stretch and Rus about the fact that he was friends with their precious little brothers. Through it all, however, that question lingered at the back of his mind, becoming harder to ignore every time he happened to glance towards G.

Had the monster had a part in locking him away?

Maybe the plan had been his.

Had he known what fate he was resigning Q to?

_ Had G known? _

The A.I. could feel it, a great, black chasm of yawning emptiness stretching out beneath him. Q knew he was starting to dissociate as everyone began opening presents, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Wasn’t really anything he  _ wanted  _ to do about it as that darkness surged up from the rotting core of him and threatened to swamp him entirely. The fury, the despair... they were familiar things he’d become very good at suppressing since regaining his freedom, though they had never truly left him.

Maybe he’d been around too many people that day. First there had been the party in his world, and now he was here with a mixed crowd of people he admired, liked, and hated in turns. Q had spent a long time utterly alone, and even in his own home he tended to keep to small groups of friends for shorter periods of time. When he’d first been freed, he’d practically clung to them twenty-four seven, but as time had passed, the pendulum had swung in the other direction, leaving him struggling to cope with the presence of other sentient beings in his life at all.

He wasn’t quite  _ that  _ bad these days, but the irony of the fact that he was longing for isolation after so long spent alone did not escape Q.

_ Had G known? _

The question seemed to echo on a loop in his head, becoming louder and louder until Q couldn’t even register what was going on in the lodge anymore. G was smiling a little as he leaned in and said something to Sans that the A.I. couldn’t make out. Loathing roared through him at the sight, and he felt himself go more distant yet as his paranoia began to whisper that maybe they would try again. Maybe they would ignore your promise and they’d cage him anyways just to save themselves the trouble. 

He had to have known. Surely G had to have known about the ploy to cage him. He and Sans were close, he used to help with the machine…

You turned and happened to catch Q’s gaze in that moment, and smiled when you did. The sight made the skeleton blink and hesitate as, finally, a new question cut through his internal cacophony and laid his paranoia to rest in one fell swoop.

_ Did it matter? _

The sickening knot of tension in the center of his chest eased, and Q felt the darkness retreat again, back into the depths of his mind where he normally kept such tight control of it. He took a breath he didn’t technically need and felt the world come back into focus around him.

Blue was chattering excitedly in the wake of opening the card Q had gotten him that listed the rare items he’d received in some of his favorite games, and Papyrus was already flipping delightedly through his new book of puzzles.

“HOW DID YOU KNOW?” Black asked, drawing Q’s attention to him as he sat near the television, holding the custom leather jacket he’d just unwrapped out before him, a faint look of surprise on his scarred features.

“know what?” Q asked with an arch of his brow.

Black scowled, but the A.I. had learned to read the degrees of his friend’s frowns, and knew he was pleased, and potentially even a little embarrassed as he clarified. “THAT I WANTED A JACKET?”

“just seemed like it’d suit you,” Q replied with a lopsided smile that made Black narrow his eyes suspiciously at the other skeleton. He wasn’t lying, he  _ did  _ think the jacket suited Black; he just left out the fact that the way he’d been eying Blue’s leather motorcycle jacket had inspired Q’s gift choice in the first place.

Black was quiet as he lowered the garment into his lap and absently ran a gloved hand over the high quality leather for a moment, then stripped off the jacket he’d worn to the party and slid the new one up over his scarred arms and let it settle around his shoulders. It was, as Q had predicted, a perfect fit, something that seemed to surprise the other monster a little.

“THANK YOU,” he said finally, taking his friend off guard with his candidness. He refused to meet Q’s eyes as he said the words, but clearly meant them all the same.

The A.I. blinked in surprise, then smiled and said, “my pleasure, k.”

* * *

After locking your bedroom door in the wake of Stretch’s exit, you got dressed for bed, but before you actually climbed in, your eyes drifted to your half-open closet door. You weren’t normally the paranoid type, but there were a few unfamiliar skeletons who had all been drinking that evening in the lodge now, and more than one was capable of teleportation.

Hating yourself a little for your own suspicions, you went to the closet and felt around inside just to be certain no one was hiding within having a laugh or planning to jump out when you got comfortable in bed. Just as you started to close the door, your phone dinged from your nightstand, making you jump. You rolled your eyes mentally at yourself and, not finding any skeletons in  _ that  _ particular closet, you went to your bed and made yourself comfortable.

It was pretty late, but you weren’t terribly surprised to be getting a text. This one was from Q, and came with a video attachment. Before you opened the file, however, you took a moment to read the message.

_ hey, peaches, this is for you from everyone on this side of the screen. they all wanted to get you something, but i figured 167 presents from total strangers might not be up your alley. _

You grimaced and silently thanked Q for stepping in on your behalf with his people. Honestly, you’d been half terrified that the guys in the lodge would go over the top with presents, and you weren’t sure what you would have done if they had. Luckily, you didn’t have to think about it as they had shown rather admirable restraint in that department, and you were grateful for it. That awkwardness would have only been amplified if everyone in Q’s world had decided to get you something as well, considering you didn’t actually  _ know  _ any of them.

_ they still wanted to do something, though, so pap made something from all of them. try not to cringe too hard and let them say their piece for me, no matter how awkward it feels. _

You blinked a little at this and wondered what on earth Q’s brother and the others had made for you that he would make such a request. It was also a bit strange for him to text you such a thing as well. You  _ did  _ text, obviously, but he’d always been more inclined to talking via video chat, for which you couldn’t blame him considering he didn’t have physical access to you like the others did.

Humming thoughtfully to yourself, you rolled over onto your stomach and got comfortable under the blankets after punching your pillow into an acceptable shape, then opened the attached video file. 

As you settled in to watch, Papyrus’ face popped up on the screen, and it actually took you a moment to realize that this was Q’s brother, not Sans’. Compared to all the other versions of the lanky skeleton, these two looked the most similar.

“HELLO AND MERRY GYFTMAS DEAREST ORGANIC FRIEND!” the monster proclaimed brightly with a smile just as wide as his doppelganger’s, even if his word choice was a little different. You’d long since gotten used to some of the lodgers calling you ‘human’, but you supposed that ‘organic’ made just as much sense for a digital lifeform like Q’s brother. What had the A.I. said his Papyrus’ nickname was? 

Q certainly was fond of handing out nicknames to the people he cared about, something that hasn’t ceased to amuse you ever since you noticed the trend. First there was peaches for you, then B and K for Blue and Black respectively and… right, ‘V’ for his brother. You weren’t sure why he’d chosen that particular letter, but you decided to adopt it yourself for the sake of not getting yourself confused between versions.

“WELL,” V continued after a moment, a somewhat rueful smile on his face, an expression not often seen on Papyrus’, which helped you further separate them in your mind. “WE’VE NEVER ACTUALLY SPOKEN BEFORE, BUT I HOPE TO RECTIFY THAT IN THE FUTURE SO WE CAN, IN FACT, BECOME DEAR FRIENDS TO ONE ANOTHER!” You chuckled to yourself a little and settled more comfortably against your pillow as the video continued. “SANS WAS AGAINST ALL OF US SENDING YOU A TOKEN OF OUR GRATITUDE FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE FOR US, AND AFTER SOME THINKING ON THE MATTER, I WAS FORCED TO AGREE! GIFTS ARE NICE, BUT SO MANY MIGHT BE… OVERWHELMING.”

Once again you were grateful Q had put the kibosh on  _ that  _ little idea.

“SO I DECIDED THAT INSTEAD OF SHOWING YOU OUR GRATITUDE, WE WOULD EXPRESS IT IN THIS VIDEO!” He was talking about gratitude again, and you weren’t entirely sure why until V cleared his throat and said, “THERE ARE MANY THINGS IN MY LIFE THAT I AM GRATEFUL FOR. MY BROTHER, MY DEAR FRIENDS, OUR HOME... AND YOU.” The monster smiled at the camera, looking into it steadily as he continued, “YOU SAVED US, DEAR FRIEND-TO-BE, FROM AN ETERNAL SLEEP WHICH WE NEVER WOULD HAVE WOKEN FROM. IF IT WEREN’T FOR YOUR VALIANT INTERVENTION ON OUR BEHALF, ON THE BEHALF FOR TOTAL STRANGERS… WE WOULDN’T BE HERE TODAY.”

Your eyes widened as the meaning of V’s earlier statement finally sank in. This. This was why everyone, strangers though they were, had wanted to send you gifts. Just like that day in the forest with Q when you’d been struck by the sudden knowledge that your digital friend was suffering from PTSD in the wake of his year in solitary, the fact that you’d saved 167 souls from an eternity trapped in slumber truly settled over you. You went cold at the thought, and then hot as a flush crept up your neck and into your cheeks while your mind struggled to process this realization. You’d  _ known,  _ of course, but suddenly the fact had become so much more real.

“YOU SAVED OUR LIVES,” V continued fervently, “AND FOR THAT I AM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL.” You could feel your throat tightening with emotion as the skeleton smiled so sweet and sincere at you through the camera. He surprised you a little when he pressed on, “MOST OF ALL, HOWEVER, I AM GRATEFUL FOR THE IMPACT YOUR FRIENDSHIP HAS HAD ON MY BROTHER.” The monster’s expression sombered some and he sighed, rueful smile returning. “SANS WORKS HARD; TOO HARD, AND IT ISOLATES HIM. IT ALWAYS HAS, EVEN BEFORE...” V’s words drifted off for a moment, then he shook himself and continued. “ANYWAYS, THANK YOU. NOT JUST FOR SAVING OUR LIVES, BUT FOR BEING MY BROTHER’S FRIEND AND MAKING HIM SMILE. HE CARES ABOUT YOU VERY MUCH AND IT’S BEEN A WONDER SEEING HIM REACH OUT TO SOMEONE NEW. THERE WERE DAYS I THOUGHT I’D NEVER GET TO SEE HIM… WELL-” The monster when quiet, seeming unsure how to continue.

In the end, he decided to drop the train of thought, and said, “ANYWAYS, I’VE TAKEN UP ENOUGH OF YOUR TIME, SO HERE IS THE REST OF THE VIDEO! I PROMISE NOT EVERYONE TALKS AS LONG AS I DID.”

You chuckled a little at his reassurance, even as you wondered what he had been about to say before cutting himself off. You found your blush intensifying at the thought of how deeply convinced V was your friendship had affected Q. Surely he was overstating? Okay, so you’d stuck your neck out for him when it came to Sans letting them all go but… everything after that? Surely just being his friend wasn’t that big of a deal. Q had an entire world to look after, and you couldn’t help but doubt that your friendship had made all  _ that  _ much of an impact. You weren’t a genius like the A.I. and, seemingly, all of his friends were. You were just… you; no big deal.

Right?

The view on your phone changed, dragging your attention back to the video as a one-eyed, blue fish woman with vibrant red hair appeared on your screen.

“Yo! The name’s Undyne and I’m just here to say thanks, kid!”

You’d never had the chance to actually talk to Undyne face-to-face, so seeing her for the first time was exciting, and you watched, riveted as she spoke. You hadn’t heard about her only from Q, after all, but from your other lodgers as well. Granted, their stories of her all varied wildly depending on what reality they were from, but it was still fascinating to finally see at least one version of the woman at long last.

“You really stuck your neck out for us, despite not knowing us, and just… that was real brave. Color me grateful  _ and  _ impressed!” She flashed a wide, frighteningly toothy grin at the camera and you found yourself smiling in turn. “Thanks a lot for keeping an eye on that idiot, Sans, too. Means a lot to all of us to see him, y’know… smile and actually fucking mean it,” she mused, boisterous tone softening some. Someone just out of mic range spoke and Undyne glanced towards them. “Yeah, yeah, alright,” she said, then glanced at the camera and said, “Take care, and thanks again, kid. You’re a real angel,” then blinked her one good eye in an exaggerated fashion you could only assume was meant to be a wink.

Undyne pushed the camera away, and the room she was in spun dizzily for a moment before coming to a stop in front of a yellow dinosaur monster you knew had to be Alphys.

“H-hello!” she stammered, flushing as she pushed her glasses up her snout in a way you couldn’t help but think was utterly adorable. “Well, I’m Alphys and I just… I  _ also  _ wanted to say thank you!”

The video went on for nearly thirty minutes. Like V had said, most people didn’t speak as long as he did. Some of them, in fact, were only on the screen for a few seconds as monsters of all shapes and sizes expressed their heartfelt gratitude to you and wished you a merry Gyftmas.

Somewhere around the time that Toriel, Asgore, and Asriel appeared on screen, your heart couldn’t take anymore, and tears began to prick at the corner of your eyes. You wiped furtively at your cheeks as the monarchs spoke, sincere in their words to you, and tender in their touch as Asgore slipped his arm around his wife’s waist at one point and Toriel leaned against him. A few stray tears of her own trailed down the monster’s furred cheeks, though she chuckled when Asriel squeezed in between them and wished you a loud and ecstatic “Merry Gyftmas, miss!”

The video rolled on and on as each person said their piece until they started to blur in your mind, overwhelmed as you were by the outpouring of emotion from total strangers whose lives you had impacted so deeply.

_ ‘Thank you so much.’ _

_ ‘You don’t know us, and we don’t know you, but thank you, for everything.’ _

_ ‘You saved us and I don’t even know how we could begin to thank you…’ _

_ ‘Thank you!’ _

_ ‘Thank you!’ _

_ ‘Thank you!’ _

You were sniffling in earnest by the time the video finally started coming to a close, and you blinked a little as Q’s familiar face appeared on your screen. For half a moment you worried he was actually there to witness your mess of a tear stained face, but a quick tap on the screen revealed that you were still in the video with a few minutes to go.

The A.I. was seated in what you recognized as his personal lab, sunk low in his chair with one ankle resting on his knee and both elbows propped on the armrests. A glass of amber liquid dangled precariously from the fingers of his left hand while the digits of his right tapped absently at his lips. He seemed lost in thought, and his gaze was unfocused, staring into the middle distance for a long moment that gave you time to note his casual garb.

Q was dressed even more informally than usual in a pair of stained, worn looking jeans and dark boots with a gray tank top that bared the thick bones of his arms. You could just make out a lab coat cast over the back of his desk chair, and you thought it looked as though your friend had just come from working on something rather involved and potentially leaky.

When he finally spoke, you gave a brief start, then turned up the volume on your phone when he proved to be speaking much more softly than everyone else thus far.

“bear with me, peaches; this might get unbearably saccharine and/or awkward as hell,” he remarked, mouth curling into a wry, almost embarrassed smile as he finally let his hand drop from his face to dangle across his lap. Q sighed a little, then said, “believe it or not, i’m not always the best at communicating the way i…  _ feel  _ about things.” He grimaced and you couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped you at the least surprising admission you’d ever heard from him. “or people, for that matter,” the monster added and took a drink from his glass. He stared into its amber depths for a moment as he seemed to mull the liquid over in his mouth before finally swallowing. “ _ only _ people, really; i don’t really care if my dinner table thinks i’m an asshole.”

You snorted and smiled again as you rolled over onto your side and curled up under your blankets, wondering just where he was going with this speech of his.

“initially, i wasn’t actually going to add myself to pap’s video,” Q admitted quietly, staring off into the distance again, though not at a screen out of sight like he usually did. The lights of his eyes lacked focus even as he rotated his desk chair absently from side to side. “i figured i’d already said my piece that day when you freed us all, and it’d be better to just let everyone else have a chance to speak for themselves for a change, but...”

He glanced at you sidelong, and for some reason, the contemplative, almost solemn way he looked at you made your heart leap alarmingly in your chest. You weren’t used to people looking at you like that, though the exact meaning behind the expression was impossible to pin down. Q dragged his right hand absently along his jaw and turned his eyelights from the camera again as he continued.

“it didn’t feel right.  _ doesn’t  _ feel right; but i kept thinking back to that day in the woods when your phone lost signal and i started losing my shit.” Q’s smile turned bitter and rueful as he shifted uncomfortably in his chair before lifting his glass again and taking a long sip. There was a jump cut in the video then, and it was obvious not only from Q’s shift in position, but the fact that his glass was full once more, that some time had passed.

Whatever had happened between scenes (drinking, you suspected), Q seemed more laid back now, and continued his earlier line of thought. “that breakdown was real smooth of me, i know,” he drawled ruefully, “but my issues aside, i remembered the way you apologized for never really thinking about how... ” The monster paused then, a pensive expression crossing his features for a moment before finally settling on, “ _ stuff  _ affected me.”

Memory of that day made your heart give a pang of guilt, and almost as though he had predicted your reaction, Q immediately looked sharply at the camera and jabbed a finger at it.

“and i still don’t blame you for that, peaches, so don’t start,” he said in a stern tone you rarely heard from him. It certainly did the job of shocking you out of your guilty spiral. His expression softened then, and he seemed to become lost in thought once more. “red’s a grade-a asshole, but he was right that day in the lab when he said you were too good for the lot of us,” the A.I. said in a gentle tone you weren’t entirely sure he meant for you to hear.

The warmth of the words made the full body blush you’d only just finally started to recover from begin to creep across your skin once more.

“always thinking about other people before yourself,” he continued as he sagged down further in the chair until his head was able to rest on the back so he was left staring up at the ceiling, glass of liquor balancing precariously on one knee with only a couple of fingers to stabilize it. He stayed like that for a moment, long enough that if it were anyone else, you might have suspected they’d fallen asleep on you. Q’s head jerked upright and he squinted unexpectedly at the camera, startling you. “that’s a bad habit, by the way,” he insisted. “won’t hurt you to dial it back a little, peaches,” he said, voice softening. “be selfish sometimes. it’s okay, you know? you’re allowed to just… think about yourself first sometimes.”

You found yourself smiling again as your friend leaned back in the chair, head resting against the back once more. He was being absurd, of course, but in a sweet way that warmed your heart. You were still getting used to the way all your lodgers were prone to fretting over you, and while you were certain Q had done so in the past, this was the most obvious you’d ever seen him be about it.

It was cute, really.

“anyways,” he said, “you’re a genuinely nice person and just-” he waved a hand vaguely, face still turned up towards the ceiling, “what is even  _ up  _ with that?” His baffled question pulled an outright laugh from you, silly as you think it is. Q finally lifted his head again and smiled, seeming amused as a thought occurred to him. “did you know that people around here have started referring to you as our angel? you know, like the one from the prophecy the monsters on your side of the screen have?”

“What?” you asked aloud, blush amping up again at the idea of all those nice people you’d just watched minutes before referring to you as an actual angel.

You  _ were  _ aware of the prophecy, actually. It’d made the rounds on the internet and all sorts of documentaries and the like after the ascension. The angel was widely accepted to be ambassador Frisk, of course, considering their part in freeing monsterkind from the underground, and the fact that an entirely different version of the Underground thought of you in the same light was…

Well, honestly, you weren’t sure  _ how  _ you felt about it.

“ah, right,” Q said, forcing himself upright again, “ _ that’s  _ where i was going with this.” The monster grinned apologetically at the camera, then turned and placed his drink on a nearby workbench before turning back to you. “i know you, peaches, so i can pretty confidently say that finding out people around here call you an angel is gonna freak you out a bit.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong.

“but i just...” Q’s hands tightened reflexively into fists, then loosened again as he leaned forward so his elbows rested on his knees. He steepled his fingers before him and stared into the camera over the top of them with such intensity that you actually found yourself looking away. “they’re not  _ wrong, _ ” the A.I. continued after a moment. “you saved us, and like it or not,” he mused, “you’ve become  _ our  _ angel.”

“and i suppose the point of all this is that i just...” he faltered briefly, and his shift in tone brought your eyes back to the screen as he sat up straight in his chair with a sigh and rubbed the back of his neck distractedly as his blush returned. The skeleton looked at you sidelong and continued, “you didn’t just save them, you saved me. you  _ saved my life,  _ angel and i...” Q’s eye sockets shuttered and you felt tears the begin to build again. “it seemed important to make that perfectly clear to you, i guess. what you did was a big deal, and not everyone would have done it, not for total strangers.” 

Q’s eye sockets opened again and, though clearly embarrassed, he still forced himself to look into the camera once more.

“you… peaches, you are an  _ amazing  _ person, and in honor of the season i just wanted to remind you of that fact.” Q cleared his throat awkwardly, the faint tinge of blue across his features deepening as he reached towards the camera, then paused. “and uh… merry gyftmas, angel,” he said, and the video ended, leaving the screen of your phone dark.

You stared at it for a long time as you lay there in the dark, until you felt a stray tear roll down your cheek. You brushed it away and sniffed a little, feeling a bit as though the video you’d just watched had sent you on some sort of emotional rollercoaster. 

Putting aside your phone, you rolled onto your back and settled the blankets over you more comfortably, then stared up through the skylight overhead. It took you a little while to decide just what you thought of the video, but in the end you settled on grateful and… touched. It was a lot, realizing what a large impact you’d made on so many lives in such a material way, but you also appreciated everyone’s intent in thanking you for it, however embarrassing it might feel. If the positions had been reversed, after all, you would have wanted to thank you too.

And Q…

All that just so he could tell you what a wonderful person he thought you were. Your cheeks burned and you dragged the blankets up over your head at the thought. You stayed there so long that you eventually drifted off to sleep without resurfacing until the next morning dawned bright and clear and full of promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, and hope you enjoyed! Next chapter will cover the day after christmas, and then after that we're _finally out of this holiday themed hell_. I can't fucking wait 8'D  
>  Don't forget to drop a review and let me know what your favorite part was! I always love hearing that from you guys!  
> 


	12. Demons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **IMPORTANT:** This chapter takes place the day after chapter eleven of this fic, and immediately after chapter 30 of 'Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady'!
> 
> The chapter is named for Jacob Lee's song 'Demons'. I highly recommend giving it a listen, especially once Q's call with the Lady ends ;)

“got the new simulation uploaded and ready to run?” Q asked as he picked up a wrench almost as long as his arm and slotted its jaw onto a bolt currently holding a side panel of Sans’ grand machine in place.

Well, not the _ original  _ machine, but the copy of it Q maintained and updated in a special replica of the ‘upstairs’ lab. Even before he’d been caged the A.I. had given up on adjusting the thing via system input and dedicated himself to doing it the same way his reluctant partners would be out in the physical world. Trial and error had proved that this was far more likely to produce accurate results since Sans, Red, and Stretch would not have molecularly perfect parts to work with the way Q did. He, after all, could simply program something down to the atom if he so desired, but the others had no such option.

It slowed down the work considerably, but it was a necessary evil that resulted in Q’s current disheveled state. Dressed in a tank top and comfortable jeans again, the A.I. was covered in machine oil and grease as he hauled on the long wrench and tightened the bolt into place before moving on to the next. Everything in the lab was set to simulate outside conditions as closely as possible; from ambient temperature to humidity and beyond, it was a level of detail that was impressive even by Q’s exacting standards.

When it came to highly theoretical magical superscience, there were a lot of factors that even his incredibly advanced system couldn’t account for, however, so Q calculated for every last thing he  _ could  _ in hopes of keeping the idiots upstairs from blowing themselves sky-high. Not that he’d miss them, but he had a lot of valuable machinery in the basement, and more than one of the other occupants of the lodge had made it into the A.I.’s good books and he’d be loathe to see them gone or even homeless.

“Yes!” Alphys answered from over the intercom, no doubt watching from her place in the main lab. “Just let me know when you’re clear and I’ll start it up!”

Q leaned into the wrench and finished tightening the final bolt with a grunt of effort, droplets of magical sweat trickling down the line of his jaw to the column of his vertebrae. This was another adjustment he’d made for the sake of accuracy. The A.I.’s physical strength normally had no real upper limits; it was whatever he needed it to be. His partners generally refrained from using magic around the machine, though, so that meant he had to base his own strength levels off of theirs, which, while impressive,  _ were  _ limited.

Finished with his work, Q tugged the wrench free and set it aside on a nearby workbench before heading back towards the door to the lab. Lost in thought as he walked, the skeleton dragged up the hem of his tank top and used it to wipe absently at his face, exposing his spine and ribs. He dropped it again as he pushed open the door and stepped into the real lab, lingering sweat, oil, and grease vanishing the moment he left the confines of his simulation.

“alright, crank it up,” he told Alphys as he walked over to her workstation and watched over her shoulder while she did as asked.

A few quick keystrokes had the program off and running, and another brought up a video feed from the sim-lab. The machinery roared to life and things hummed along fine for a minute until darkness began to flicker around it, followed by an abrupt drop off in the readings, making Q frown at yet another failure. The expression dropped into an outright scowl, however, as the world code to which he, and everyone else, was connected flickered and stuttered. For a moment it seemed as though the shadows in the lab deepened and a strange, dark after-image of the world slid a few degrees out of alignment before the system caught up to it and everything snapped back into place.

“shit,” he swore quietly, grip on the back of Alphys’ chair tightening reflexively. 

The smaller monster turned back to look at him with a concerned expression. “The events are happening with greater frequency the further along we go with this, Sans.”

Q closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nasal bone as he exhaled sharply and nodded, clearly frustrated. “i know. where was the epicenter this time?”

Alphys turned back to her display and after a moment, answered, “Not far from here; zone twenty-six. Initial estimates report a level three event.”

“no rest for the wicked, i guess,” Q drawled as he dropped his hand from his face and patted the back of her chair. “i’ll take care of it. wind down the simulation and run the data consolidation sub-routine so we can look the results over when i get back.”

Without waiting for an answer, the A.I. turned and walked towards the door. Mid-step he vanished from sight, making Alphys sigh a little ruefully. “It  _ is  _ okay to take the occasional break, you know,” she mused aloud as she went back to work. It was less for her sake than it was for Q’s though, since she knew from experience that he’d probably send her home to Undyne when he got back and spend the rest of his evening pouring over the test results by himself.

As she accessed the simulation program she made a mental note to call Papyrus when she left so the other monster could drag his older brother home before he got too carried away with his work again.

* * *

Q left the cool, temperature controlled climate of the lab and reappeared in Hotland from one step to the next, the heat of it hitting him like a slap to the face. He grimaced and automatically adjusted his temperature resistance until he no longer felt the intense heat that radiated off the pools of lava that dominated the region.

The brief visual glitch that had occurred back in the laboratory persisted everywhere he looked here, making the A.I. frown and reach automatically for his administrative access. It wasn't something he kept on all the time for security reasons, but he logged in now, barely registering the way his uniform settled over him, replacing his work stained casual wear. A wave of a hand brought up a series of interfaces of various sizes; the first of which Q immediately focused on and used to quarantine the entire zone. He felt the connection to the rest of the world sever, and when he glanced up from the screen, it was to see that the horizon had disappeared, replaced by an infinite white void. That done, he dismissed the screen and turned his attention to the others which were assessing the extent of the damage running the simulation had done to the region.

Alphys was right, these world level glitches were becoming increasingly common the further along in development they got with the machine. His best theory as to why came down to the nature of what the machine was meant to do. It was struggling to open a portal to somewhere it  _ shouldn't  _ be possible to reach from Q's digital world, and the attempt destabilized the world code as a result, as if it were trying to recreate the void here rather than accessing the void itself.

Luckily Q had established any number of safeguards against that happening outright, but there were still side effects he couldn't quite suppress, despite his best efforts.

From his place on one of the stone walkways that bridged the lava pits below, Q could see the surface of the molten rock roll unnaturally, as though something were moving somewhere in its depths. He swore softly at the sight, and glanced back at the interfaces which, sure enough, confirmed his suspicions.

“alphys,” he called after opening a direct line to the other monster. “better upgrade that level three to a five. looks like there's a fairly large rogue entity here.” The lava heaved again and suddenly something huge and terrible broke the surface.

The creature had a centipede-like body that wasn't black so much as it was a hole in reality that absorbed all light that came its way. Everything in its vicinity slid out of focus the same way things had briefly back in the lab, like a dark, shadowy version of the world overlayed the real one and then jumped six inches to the left. “correction,” he added as he watched the creature rise from the surface, and then continue to do so for an uncomfortably long time, “make that a  _ very large  _ rogue entity.”

“Do you need help?” Alphys replied immediately. “Undyne could be there in-”

“don't worry about it,” Q cut her off as he closed down the assessment interfaces and rolled his shoulders a little, readying himself. “i could do with the exercise.”

“Sans,” his coworker said, voice chiding.

Before she could say more, he replied, “i'll call if i need help,” then cut the connection and turned his attention to the task at hand.

Q eyed the rogue entity critically, watching as it seemed to take in its surroundings. His first impression of a centipede wasn't wrong, though closer examination revealed that the thing's many legs weren't uniform, but of an alarming and unsettling variety that made the A.I. grimace in disgust. Human, animal, tentacle, skeletal... it had them all by the score, and was using them to climb the cliff towards him from the pool of lava below.

The appearance of rogue entities that appeared during a system glitch always varied, if they showed up at all. The longer they worked on the machine, however, the greater the likelihood of increasingly dangerous entities showing themselves, it seemed. Generally they were nightmarish mishmashes of appearance data pulled from the system archives. Animals were common, though sometimes they were nonsensical things like architectural abominations that somehow figured out how to shamble restlessly across the landscape, destroying everything in their path.

This particular beast was a mix of animal and monster that made Q queasy to look at, though in no way deterred him from the task at hand.

The A.I. gauged the thing's rate of approach and stretched his arms up over his head, joints popping as he did. “alright you son of a glitch,” he muttered as its head passed the edge of the cliff on which he stood and turned to look at him. Q took a few steps back, then dropped into a sprinter's crouch, ground trembling beneath him as the beast heaved the first ten feet of its horrible, segmented body up over the edge of the cliff, its many arms scrambling for purchase. Q bared his teeth in a vicious grin, and said, “lets get this over with, huh? i’ve got work to do.”

The skeleton launched himself forward, a blur of white and cyan as he closed the distance between himself and the glitch, then shoulder checked the thing so hard they both canoned backwards off the edge of the cliff and into the depths of the cavern below.

As they plummeted, Q kicked free of the beast’s horrible, strangely slimey grip and went spread eagle, slowing his descent fractionally to put more space between them. The centipede hit the surface of the lava pit at the base of the cliff on its back, which the A.I. took advantage of by flipping mid-air so he fell feet first, then increased his personal gravity ten fold and drove his heels into its underbelly. The beast hissed in agony, despite the hit not having been enough to breach its carapace, then heaved and rolled, apparently unphased by the waves of molten lava that washed over it as it thrashed.

Q would be no more affected by the lava than his enemy, but not wanting to get wrapped up in its coils as it righted itself, the skeleton leaped away to a nearby outcropping of rock, catching at the uneven surface with gloved fingers. Secure for the moment, he hung by one hand, feet planted solidly against the stone as he turned to look back at his enemy, which searched for him even now. Through narrowed eye sockets, Q sized up his enemy and weighed his options.

The centipede was a good twelve feet across, dwarfing his own six foot one, and by Q’s estimate, was at least fifty feet at length. Potentially longer, depending how much of it still lurked beneath the surface of the lava. Given magic, it should have been easy enough to kill regardless of its size, but unlike with viruses, system generated effects like his magic rarely actually worked against glitches. Certainly not reliably. Self effects, such as manipulating his own gravity, tended to work fine, which meant every fight against a glitch was an exercise in how to beat the shit out of terrifying monstrosities of varying size. Out of everything he’d tried over the years, it was the only thing that worked every time.

Q rolled his eyelights and launched himself up the cliff face with a hard pull when the centipede spotted him at last and made a desperate lunge in his direction. It missed and slammed face first into the stone hard enough to dislodge the ledge the A.I. had grabbed, sending him tumbling towards his opponent. At the same time, the glitch reared back its head and opened its gaping maw, full of row after row of needle-like teeth, ready to swallow him whole.

“sorry, ugly,” Q said as he rolled midair just enough to carry him clear of the centipede’s teeth, but close enough to catch the edge of its mouth with his hands. “no dessert before dinner!”

He increased his gravity as far as his body could take, and used his new weight to drag the glitch’s head back at an unnatural angle until his boots landed on its hard-shelled back. With a grunt of effort, Q planted himself and pulled, straining with the effort of each step he took until, finally, a sickening crack echoed through the cavern. The centipede went momentarily rigid, then began to thrash with new, agonized vigor, throwing Q clear in the process.

The skeleton's body bounced across the surface of the lava like a skipping stone until his forward momentum finally died down and he dropped into the hot, cloying magma. It roiled restlessly around the A.I. as he tried to claw his way back to the surface only to be lifted free by a segment of the centipede's body when it surged up from under him.

The skeleton coughed and spat out a mouthful of molten rock with a grimace at the brimstone flavor of it and turned his attention back to his defeated foe which was... less defeated than it really ought to have been, all things considered. Despite the way the first segment of the centipede's body having been so badly broken by Q's attack, it was still moving with purpose. 

...Disoriented purpose, but purpose all the same. He watched it with a horrified sort of fascination as the glitch doubled back along the length of its body, reaching for him with its many mismatched arms.

“yeah, hard pass,” Q remarked, then turned and ran back along the length of the creature's body. 

Unfortunately, despite the centipede's head presumably no longer functioning, it still seemed capable of tracking his movements along its body by feel, and gave chase. It curled its length in towards itself, and just before the A.I. could manage to jump clear, gave a mighty heave that sent him flying high into the air. Well away from any land, Q knew he would land in the lava once more and leave himself easy pickings for his opponent, working head or no. So, before his forward momentum died off, the A.I. decreased his gravity and shot higher in the air than should have been possible until the stalactites that hung from the ceiling came within reach.

Q grabbed for the nearest one, but his gloved fingers slid against the slick, dark surface, forcing him to throw out his arms and legs to wedge himself between two stalactites. Secure for the time being, the A.I. looked back down at the lava below and watched as the centipede wallowed, feeling about aimlessly with it’s many arms and coils in search of him. Q frowned thoughtfully, mind racing for a solution when the stalactite at his back cracked ominously, making him quickly shift his weight and lunge for another perch.

The stone point dropped away from the ceiling and fell the long ways to the lava below, where it struck the centipede in the center of the back. Almost as though the abomination could see him, it twisted the front half of its elongated body upward, seeming to know exactly where he was despite the sickening way its partially dismembered head lolled behind it.

There was a moment of silence between them as Q’s thoughts suddenly sharpened to laser pointed focus when a solution finally presented itself to him.

As the glitch lunged up towards him, the A.I. looked at the stalactite against which both his feet were currently propped. It was big, with a diameter greater than he was tall, and a length of at least twelve feet. Without hesitation, he quickly shifted his position so he was positioned spread-eagle between two smaller stalactites, then reared back and punched the first as hard as he could.

The stone cracked, shifted fractionally, then dropped away. Realizing it might not have enough momentum by the time it met the centipede, Q jumped after it, throwing his increased gravitational weight behind it until the stone point slammed into the ascending beast and drove it back down the way it had come.

Lava erupted from beneath the centipede when it hit, sending the molten rock out in waves that crashed up the sides of the surrounding cliffs. His shoulder thrown into the stone spire, Q felt the point pierce the beast’s carapace once, and then again as it passed all the way through and thudded into the lava bed he hadn’t even been sure was actually there a minute before.

The glitch’s death throes were vicious and wild, forcing Q to hunker down and ride them out, cape drawn up around him to ward off the worst of the lava that poured over him, searing his bones with its heat, though doing no actual damage.

Finally, the ruckus died down and the A.I. pushed himself to his feet in time to watch the centipede’s now still body begin to melt away into nothing.

A relieved sigh escaped Q in spite of himself, and once it was gone, he brought up the necessary interfaces again and began to run the zone restoration program before finally dropping the quarantine.

When he looked up again, the strange, shadowy afterimage that had overlaid the landscape was gone and so was the damage the glitch had inflicted in all its thrashing. Even the stalactites Q had broken were back, and as soon as he transported himself up to one of the surrounding cliffs, the broken rock he had been standing on vanished too.

After once more glance around the place, Q gave a satisfied nod and transported away. He reappeared in the lobby of the lab and was about to contact Alphys to check in with how the data sifting was going when a call came through to his private line. He blinked in surprise, but smiled when he saw that it wasn't just any call, but one from your personal app line.

Leaning against the nearest wall, Q accepted with a wave of his hand and said, “hey, peaches, what's up?” The A.I. blinked again when he realized he must have jumped the gun a bit because rather than being greeted by your smiling visage, all he could see through the camera was the ceiling of your bedroom. Somewhere out of frame there was a rustling, so he tried again, “uh, peaches?”

“Q?” you replied, easing the concern that had begun to crawl its way up his spine. “Just a sec!”

“just the one?” he teased as he waited, rueful smile on his face as he crossed his arms absently over his chest and did as you asked. 

You popped into frame a moment later and stuck your tongue out at his nitpicking, making him chuckle. “So, what’s uuuuuup?” you asked in an exaggeratedly silly tone as you picked up your phone and dropped gracelessly onto your bed.

Q crooked an eyebrow at your antics. “ _ you  _ called me, don’t i get to ask that first?”

You blinked owlishly, and certain little tells began to register with your friend as you tilted your head a little unsteadily to one side. “Did I?”

He snorted, amused rather than irked, though had it been literally anyone else, the likelihood of his being so amenable was low. “i’ve got the call log to prove it, angel.”

A hank of your hair slipped across your features and you pushed it back with a snort before narrowing your eyes with comical suspicion and saying, “Ah, but how could I possibly tell if you’d faked them, mister ‘your-technology-is-child’s-play’? Maybe you really did call first and you’re just taking advantage of my inebriated state to pull the wool over my eyes.”

A bark of laughter escaped Q before he managed to smother it down into a more reasonable grin. “and why would i do that?”

You looked thoughtful as you squinted into the middle distance before smiling slyly and tapping the side of your nose with a finger. You nearly missed, which made him grin wider, right up until you said, “Well, maybe you were hoping to catch a free show? I  _ was _ changing when you called, after all.”

Q nearly choked at the accusation and was slow enough to respond that you started to laugh, no doubt finding the slide show of emotions flickering across his pale features amusing. “i did  _ not- _ ” he began, but you cut him off with a wave of a hand.

“I know, Q,” you reassured him, though you’re still fighting down the occasional giggle as you adopt a more comfortable position on your bed. “You’d never intentionally do that, and I appreciate your disreshun- discrestin-” you made a face as you stumbled over the word before finally managing, “I appreciate that you wouldn’t do that.”

He huffed a little, playing the wounded party for a moment, but couldn’t keep up the act in the face of your sweet smile. “yeah, well… just remember that the next time you accuse me of cheating at words with friends.”

“But you  _ always win,  _ it’s not fair!” you whined and flopped back onto the mattress, making your friend laugh again.

A moment of silence followed, then Q asked, “so whatcha been up to, angel? looks like you’ve been out havin’ fun without me.”

You rolled back up onto your side and propped your chin on a hand while the other cradled your phone. “Yeah, Sans finally took me out to Grillby’s actually,” you answered brightly, seeming excited by this development.

Q didn’t react, though had you been sober you would have noticed the almost brittle edge his smile adopted. “oh?” he asked, eye sockets half-lidded as he canted his head to one side and seemed to consider this information. “wonder if that grillby’s drinks are as good as the one here?”

“Dunno,” you said, oblivious. “They were  _ super  _ good though, like damn. The burgers were too, but I’ve had those before.”

“hard to go wrong with a magic burger,” Q remarked, smile still plastered firmly in place as he tried very hard to ignore that dark gulf in him that threatened to open again for the second time in as many days. “what else did you guys do?” he asked, the question escaping him before he could check himself. He shouldn’t have asked, he knew better because nothing good would come of knowing, not where Sans was involved; and yet…

A few droplets of magic beaded at the A.I.’s temple as he struggled to keep his cool. You’d been alone together. Sans had taken you to his favorite place and plied you with drinks while no one else was around to keep an eye on him.

Q felt curiously short of breath for someone that didn’t actually need to breathe.

“Oh not much,” you said lightly with a careless wave of a hand as you rolled onto your back to stare up at the skylight overhead. “Mostly just drank and hung out. Danced a bit.”

“sounds fun,” Q managed to reply without choking.

You smiled, presumably at the memories of the afternoon you’d shared with Sans, and the A.I. wanted to be sick. Arms still crossed over his chest, his hands tightened into fists as he felt the nausea begin to turn to rage. Still, he kept himself in check, took a breathe and forced himself to relax by degrees. 

He was better than this.

…

Alright, no he wasn’t, but he  _ wanted  _ to be better than this because you  _ thought _ he was. God only knew why. He had no claim on you, Q reminded himself bitterly, and you’d made it perfectly clear that you were just dating around casually for the time being. It didn’t mean anything that you’d had a few drinks and a meal with Sans. Didn’t mean anything that the monster responsible for locking him away in the dark to go slowly insane had danced with you, hands on your shoulders, your back, your hips when Q himself wasn’t even capable of existing in the same room as you.

“Yeah, it was,” you said, mouth quirking up in a smile. “Kinda took me by surprise when he kissed me, though,” you admitted, then huffed a laugh and added, “Guess I should probably be expecting that these days, though.”

Q went still, wondering if his paranoia had gotten the better of him and he’d misheard you. “sorry?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you admitted, rolling over to look at him again. “There was some mistletoe up at the bar and we wound up under it while dancing.” You sighed a little, though to Q’s piercing gaze you didn’t seem unnerved by the events at the bar. Instead, you were still smiling. “First Axe, then Red,” you mused to yourself. “Seems like half the people around here are set on kissing me.”

He could tell from your tone that you probably hadn’t meant to say it aloud, but that didn’t keep Q’s mouth from running away with him again. “you just look so damn kissable, peaches.” He regretted the words almost immediately when your eyes widened fractionally and finally focused on him, making the A.I. flinch noticeably. “ignore me,” he said quickly. “i, uh-”

“Do you want to kiss me too, Q?” you asked out of the blue and the skeleton’s eyelights snapped to you once more. Your lingering buzz had given you the bravery (or recklessness, perhaps) to ask the question, though like him, you regret it, and the way you’d put him on the spot, almost immediately. “Sorry; no, geeze,  _ I’m  _ the one that needs to be ignored,” you said, sitting up abruptly and giving yourself a shake. “I’m uh, gonna go take a shower before I say anything else stupid,” you added with a weak, embarrassed smile. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

Q opened his mouth to say something, then seemed to think better of it. “sure thing, peaches,” he finally replied with a weak smile of his own. With that, you hung up, leaving the A.I. dangerously alone with a riot of emotions boiling behind his ribs.

He was such a fucking coward. He should have just said it. Why hadn’t he answered you? Confronted with such a blunt question out of left field he’d frozen like a deer in the headlights. His only defense was that the news Sans had kissed you while Q was stuck in his lab working on yet another simulation of the bastard’s godforsaken machine had left him wrong-footed.

Sans.

That gaping black pit of hate and fear he’d fought so hard to control yesterday yawned open at the core of him and rage boiled out of its depths. It filled him to the brim, leaving him convinced it would pour, thick and viscous, from his mouth if he dared open it. The A.I. felt as though his marrow were burning and he began to shake as he tried to keep it all in, bent over almost double whis his arms crossed tight over his ribs, eye sockets empty and unseeing.

He couldn’t, though. Not two days in a row. He wasn’t strong enough.

Q ground his teeth, then straightened abruptly and walked with a stride that could only be described as menacing into the lab proper.

The A.I.’s footsteps echoed with the weight of his step, alerting Alphys to his arrival before he actually opened the door. When he did, however, she called over her shoulder, “Hey, boss! The algorithm is almost done with the initial run through. What do you-” Her words died off as she finally looked back at the skeleton and saw the expression on his face. Q’s entire air was so malevolent as he stood there in front of the door into the sim-lab that Alphys backed away without even realizing she’d moved.

“Sans?” she asked, voice weak, yet by far the loudest thing in the eerily silent room. Her heart pounded behind her ribs, and seemed to skip a beat altogether when he finally looked at her, mouth drawn back in a grin so full of hate it shouldn’t have been physically possible.

“ **_don’t call me that,_ ** ” he said, voice low and cold despite the fire in his eyes.

“I-I-” Alphys stammered, but Q was no longer paying attention to her, much to her relief.

He turned his gaze back to the door in front of him and growled, “ **_i’m not him,_ ** ” before kicking the door open with a bang that made Alphys jump. “ **_i’m not him,_ ** ” Q repeated as he entered, normally straight posture slumped forward as though he bore a great weight across his shoulders.

Terrified, but too concerned for her boss and long time friend to remain where she was, Alphys skittered away from the wall and towards the door. She didn’t dare enter the room beyond, but as she watched, wide eyed, Q dragged off his cloak without bothering to loosen the pins that held it in place, the fabric tearing like so much tissue paper as he cast it aside. The scientist flinched at this, but said nothing as her friend continued walking without missing a beat, and picked up the wrench he’d used before he’d left.

Q didn’t stop until he reached the machine, wrench dangling loosely in one hand as he stood there and seemed to contemplate Sans’ creation for a long minute. Finally, he began to tremble, and for a moment it seemed he might drop the tool. Instead, his fingers tightened fiercely around it, and the skeleton hefted the length of cold steel over his head, where he gripped it with both hands and roared, “ **_I ‘ M   N O T H I M!_ ** ” before bringing it down on the nearest console with a deafening crash.

Alphys yelped in surprise, but Q didn’t hear her. Fury burned through him like an inferno, leaving him deaf and blind to everything but the destruction he wrought on the machine he had spent so many hours fine tuning and experimenting on for the benefit of others. For the benefit of the monster that had sent him to hell.

A wordless scream of rage tore from Q’s chest as the festering agony of the injustice he’d suffered boiled out of him, thick and cloying as hot tar. 

Hate.  _ Hate. HATE! _

Sans wasn’t a monster, he was the serpent in the eden Q had built for himself and his people, come to cut up his peace and ruin everything he’d worked so hard for all these years. Just has heinous, now he’d come to take everything Q  _ wanted,  _ just to add insult to injury.

He couldn’t blame you for kissing the snake. You were innocent in all this. You gave  _ everyone  _ the benefit of the doubt, it was one of many reasons Q cared so deeply for you. It was why he needed to  _ protect _ you.

Had Sans felt his sins crawling up his back when he’d laid his filthy hands on you? You were too good for all of them, but you were  _ way  _ too good for Sans, and Q was certain his doppelganger knew as much.

And still he’d dared.

Q cast aside his wrench with force enough to embed its head three inches deep in the wall to his left, then set to tearing the machine part by hand. Fistfuls of wires, pipes full of coolant, entire sections of steel frame… all were wrent from their place with the sort of determination that could level mountains. Q’s gloves and jacket shredded under the onslaught of jagged metal and sharp glass that left shallow gouges in the pure white bone beneath. Oil and other chemicals stained the white fabric and made the A.I.’s injuries burn, though he paid them no mind as he dismantled the machine a section at a time.

When Q wrenched the control console free of its supports and heaved it away from him, Alphys finally fled before she could be struck by debris when it was smashed to pieces against the wall near the door through which she peered.

Consumed by every resentment he’d ever harbored towards his doppelganger during his long time in isolation, and every perceived wrong he’d suffered at his hands since, Q didn’t even notice her go.

* * *

It was dark and cold in the lab, but Q couldn’t be bothered to run the repair program that would set everything he had destroyed to rights. He’d made a helluva mess, but as far as the A.I. was concerned in that moment, things could remain so from that day until the last one for all he cared.

Destroying the machine had felt  _ good.  _ The hatred he harbored for Sans had burned through him like a wildfire, and that had felt good too.

Eventually, however, the skeleton’s fury at the inherent injustice of existence had waned until it left behind embers, and then only ashes. Seated among the wreckage with his legs loosely crossed, back to the wall, and hands limp in his lap, Q felt empty and just as cold as the floor on which he sat. Where he’d felt so many things so strongly when he’d entered the lab, the A.I. felt nothing at all now.

The quiet sound of footsteps approaching drew Q’s attention, though he didn’t look up when the intruder carefully, deliberately, opened the door and stepped inside. He didn’t need to.

“Gaster,” Q said, voice rough with overuse.

His fellow scientist drew close and paused a few feet away, his shoes just visible beyond the soles of Q’s boots in the skeleton’s periphery. 

“ _ SANS, _ ” Gaster replied calmly.

“Don’t call me that,” Q replied with a halfhearted snarl as something in him sparked weakly, a flicker in the dark.

A quiet sigh escaped the other monster and Q watched as his shoes moved a few steps to the left, then turned as Gaster presumably took a seat on a segment of machine that was more intact than the rest of it.

“ _ Q, _ ” Gaster tried again. When the sorry wreck of a skeleton didn’t comment, he took that as permission to continue, so he did. “ _ WHAT HAPPENED? _ ”

A low, dark chuckle wrung its way out of Q. “What’s it look like, G? I decided to scrap our little project.”

The A.I. finally tilted his head back so it rested against the wall behind him and offered Gaster a lazy, hollow grin. The other scientist only arched one brow at him before looking thoughtfully around the room. Eventually, he turned his gaze back to Q and said, “ _ YOU FRIGHTENED ALPHYS. SHE WAS IN A PANIC WHEN SHE CALLED ME AND SAID YOU HAD COME BACK FROM RESOLVING A SYSTEM GLITCH AND STARTED DESTROYING THE SIM-LAB. _ ”

The eerie smile dropped from Q’s face as guilt sparked in him, driving back the cold emptiness that had saturated every fiber of him. Regret soon followed, and it seemed to the skeleton that the world was slowly sliding back into proper focus. 

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nasal bone. “Shit.” he said, straightening some before glancing towards the empty doorway, then back at Gaster. “She alright?”

Gaster folded his hands neatly in his lap, a sight that normally amused Q, considering the monster had no arms, even when wearing his more solid form as he was now. “ _ YOU DIDN’T HARM HER PHYSICALLY, IF THAT IS WHAT YOU’RE ASKING, _ ” the other scientist replied in his blandest tone.

Q grimaced and pulled his legs in until he was seated cross-legged, and leaned forward to rub his hands over his face tiredly, knowing how badly he’d messed up. Finally giving in to all that rage after so many months of keeping it under tight control had felt so very good in the moment, but now he felt nothing but regret.

“I’m sorry,” the skeleton said finally as he straightened, then moved to get up. Before he could, however, a hand landed heavily on his shoulder and pushed him right back down. Q glanced up in surprise and realized that Gaster had conjured one of his extra hands to keep him in place, as his original two were still folded neatly in his lap. “What? I just wanted to go apologize to Al,” Q said. There wasn’t anything Gaster could actually do to keep him in place if he really wanted to go, but the fact that he tried anyways gave the skeleton pause.

“ _ THAT CAN WAIT, _ ” the other scientist informed him cooly. “ _ FIRST WE ARE GOING TO DISCUSS WHAT BROUGHT THIS ON, _ ” he continued, waving a fourth hand at the mess that surrounded them.

“I’m fine. It won’t happen again,” Q insisted, sliding back into his usual smooth, easy going demeanor as effortlessly as others did a favorite pair of well worn shoes. 

Gaster's hand remained firmly in place on his shoulder, however, and the scientist said,  _ “YOU'RE EITHER GOING TO SIT HERE AND TALK TO ME, OR I'M GOING TO CALL YOUR BROTHER, AND YOU'RE GOING TO TALK TO  _ **_HIM_ ** _.” _

Q gave his friend a sharp look and said, “I'm  _ fine.  _ I just-”

“ **_THIS_ ** _ DOES NOT LOOK LIKE 'FINE' TO ME, Q. PEOPLE WHO ARE 'FINE' DON'T TEAR APART AN ENTIRE LABORATORY BARE HANDED AND FRIGHTEN THEIR FRIENDS, _ **”** Gaster snapped, his patience starting to slip. Q averted his eyes at his accusation and for a moment there was only silence between them. Eventually, Gaster took a breath then said,  _ “WE  _ **_ALL_ ** _ HAVE LINGERING ISSUES WITH WHAT WAS DONE TO US. YOU HAVE MORE REASON TO BE ANGRY THAN ANYONE, BUT...” _

The scientist faltered, and seemed temporarily at a loss as he looked down at his hands while the one on Q's shoulder finally loosened its hold on him and vanished. The skeleton didn't try to move from the floor, but watched Gaster sidelong, thoughts rife with uncertainty. It would be so easy to just get up and leave, ignore his friend's concern and ride out the storm of Papyrus' disapproval later. Running would be easy, but...

He was just so damn tired.

“ _ THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT,”  _ Gaster finally continued and Q dragged one hand down his face, rubbing absently at his eye sockets. “ _ YOU'VE BEEN DOING WELL SINCE WE WERE ALL FREED. BETTER THAN ANY OF US EXPECTED, ALL THINGS CONSIDERED. _ ”

“Thanks,” Q replied blandly, though he did not meet the other scientist's gaze.

“ _ YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, Q,”  _ Gaster chided him, tone gentle this time.  _ “ANGER IS NOT AN UNREASONABLE REACTION CONSIDERING WHAT YOU WENT THROUGH. SO,”  _ he pressed and motioned to the room at large, “ _ WHAT CHANGED? _ ” Q did not answer immediately, so he tried a different tact. “ _ WHAT SET YOU OFF TODAY? _ ”

Realizing he wasn’t going to get away from this without more trouble than it was probably worth, Q leaned back against the wall again with a sigh, head dropping back with a quiet thunk. The A.I. closed his eyes, then eventually admitted, “I was talking to our landlady earlier. She called by accident but we chatted for a bit, and...” the skeleton’s hands tightened reflexively where they dangled in his lap, but he forced himself to continue. “found out Sans took her to Grillby’s for drinks.”

When he wasn’t immediately forthcoming with more information, Gaster gently prompted, “ _ I BELIEVE YOU MENTIONED THAT SHE HAD RESOLVED TO DATE AROUND FOR AWHILE AFTER GETTING OUT OF A DIFFICULT RELATIONSHIP? _ ”

“Yeah,” Q ground out, eyes still closed. “And I’m fine with that. That’s her right; she doesn’t owe anyone anything, but that bastard fucking-” The skeleton’s grip tightened so much that Gaster could practically hear the bones grinding against one another. “He  _ kissed  _ her. And they  _ danced.  _ And I just-” Q surged to his feet in one swift, fluid movement to pace feverishly around the cluttered space, hands flexing distractedly, as though longing to lash out once more in his frustration. “The thought of him  _ touching her  _ just makes me want to-” the skeleton stopped in the center of the room and gesticulated sharply at the mess he’d already made of Sans’ machine.

Gaster only nodded thoughtfully, his gaze following Q around the room. “ _ YOU’RE WORRIED FOR HER; YOU WANT TO PROTECT HER. _ ”

“Of course I do. I have since day one.”

“ _ YOU’VE ALSO KNOWN THAT SANS WAS INTERESTED IN HER SINCE DAY ONE, _ ” Gaster pointed out. “ _ EVEN BEFORE YOU’D MET HER, YOU KNEW THAT. IT’S WHY YOU CHOSE TO IMPERSONATE SANS INSTEAD OF ONE OF THE OTHERS WHEN YOU LURED HER INTO THE BASEMENT. _ ”

Q stopped pacing and turned to look at his fellow scientist, eyes narrowed. “Yeah, so?”

Gaster quirked a brow at him again. “ _ SO IT’S NOT AS THOUGH THE PROSPECT OF HIM KISSING HER CAME OUT OF LEFT FIELD, _ ” he pointed out reasonably. “ _ IN FACT, IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY, YOU SAID THAT OTHERS UPSTAIRS HAVE ALREADY KISSED HER AS WELL. _ ”

“So what’s your point?” Q asked, snappish at the reminder that he was the only one of his doppelgangers incapable of doing just that.

“ _ SO SOMETHING HAS  _ **_CHANGED_ ** _ , Q. SOMETHING THAT CAUSED YOUR REACTION TO FINDING OUT THAT SHE’D KISSED SOMEONE WHO NOT ONLY WASN’T YOU, BUT YOUR WORST ENEMY TO ESCALATE WELL BEYOND REASONABLE- _ ”

“Reasonable?!” Q barked. “I don’t know if you remember, G, but the bastard nearly committed  _ genocide  _ just because I got a little carried away with some corporate espionage! How is tearing apart his machine-”

Gaster rose to his feet abruptly, startling Q into silence. “ _ QUIT BEING A CHILD AND ADMIT THAT YOU WERE  _ **_AFRAID_ ** ,” the taller monster snapped as he loomed over the skeleton. “ _ FEAR DROVE YOU TO DO ALL THIS, NOT JUST HATE. HATE IS EASY. YOU’RE  _ **_PROUD_ ** _ OF YOUR HATE, UNHEALTHY AS IT IS, BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU FEEL RIGHTEOUS AND IT HELPS YOU GET THROUGH THE DAY. _ ”

Q’s eye sockets went wide, and the lights therein shrank to pinpricks at his friend’s accusation. The world seemed completely off kilter to the skeleton all of a sudden, and panic began to scratch at the back of his skull, lingering behind his eyes. “I am  _ not- _ ” he began, but again Gaster refused to let him speak.

The scientist pushed him, making Q stumble backwards, caught off guard by the uncharacteristically violent gesture. “ _ QUIT LYING. _ ”

“I’m not-” Q tried once more, only to find himself pushed again. He tripped over a section of the ruined machine and nearly fell, forcing him to turn and take several steps to keep his feet. “Stop it!”

“ _ YOU STOP IT. THIS IS EMBARRASSING, Q, YOU ARE OUR SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR, NOT A  _ **_CHILD_ ** _ ASHAMED OF SOME BOYHOOD CRUSH. _ ”

He pushed him again, before Q could straighten, and this time he fetched up against the wall. When Gaster reached for him a fourth time, however, the A.I. caught both his wrists and said, “Alright! Alright.” His friend pushed no further, though Q maintained his hold on him, almost more for the reassurance than any fear that the other scientist would attempt to push him once more. “You’re right; I  _ am  _ afraid,” he ground out reluctantly, gaze on the floor between them. 

Gaster’s posture finally relaxed, the tension in his shoulders fading as his expression gentled. “ _ OF WHAT? _ ”

Q was silent for a minute, eyes still on the floor as the emotions all came rushing to the fore, no longer crushed beneath the weight of his lingering anger. Frustrated by his inability to express himself, the skeleton shook Gaster’s hands by the wrist, then finally released them and sagged forward to drop his forehead against his friend’s chest. 

“I love her so damn much, G,” Q rasped, voice rough with emotion. “I don’t even know when that happened,” he admitted with a weak, self deprecating laugh. “I mean, I liked her from the start. Why wouldn’t I? She put her own neck on the line with that asshole just to set us all free when leaving us where we were would have been no skin off her nose, but...”

A soft sigh escaped Gaster and he smiled. Lacking arms as he did, he wasn’t particularly good at hugs, but he brought his hands up to rest on Q’s shoulders in as reassuring a fashion as he could manage. “ _ IT’S FUNNY HOW THESE THINGS SNEAK UP ON A PERSON, ISN’T IT? _ ”

“ _ I’m  _ not laughing,” Q grumbled, then heaved his shoulders in a tremendous sigh. “I just… I don’t know what I’ll do if she chooses someone else, G,” he said quietly, a soft tremor running down his spine at the thought. “I’ve never felt like this about someone before, and the thought of her winding up with someone while I’m left behind...” The skeleton’s words trailed off, and he closed his eyes again in an attempt to ignore the way the world felt as though it were spinning around him.

When  _ had  _ his little crush on you grown into something so much bigger? Q loved his brother, and he loved his friends, but loving you… loving you was something else entirely.

It hurt like a bitch, for one.

The transition had come on so gradually that, perfect though the A.I.’s memory was, he couldn’t pinpoint when he’d fallen in love with you. It seemed as though he always had been, though he knew that couldn’t possibly be true, not when he thought back to your first meeting. 

“ _ IT WILL BE HER CHOICE IN THE END, _ ” Gaster said, and though his words were far from reassuring, Q knew he was right. The scientist used his grip on the skeleton’s shoulders to push him carefully upright so he could look him in the face and say, “ _ IN THE MEANTIME, YOU’LL SIMPLY HAVE TO CONVINCE HER THAT  _ **_YOU_ ** _ ARE THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR HER TO MAKE. _ ”

A soft huff of laughter escaped Q, and escalated into something stronger, more genuine when Gaster gave him a gentle shake to pull him from his introspection. “Guess that means I should get back to finishing the V.R., then,” he remarked and straightened his shoulders.

“ _ TO SAY THE LEAST, _ ” Gaster mused and followed Q when he turned and headed back towards the entrance to the sim-lab. “ _ I RECOMMEND STARTING AS SOON AS YOU FINISH APOLOGIZING TO ALPHYS. _ ”

“Yeah,” Q agreed with a guilty grimace as he allowed Gaster to exit the room first. When he had, the skeleton called up an interface, and in a few keystrokes, restored the room to the back-up Alphys had made not minutes before he’d gone in and wrecked up the place. One moment the sim-lab was a riot of destruction and ruined technology, and the next, a pristine work space, at the center of which loomed Sans’ machine.

The A.I. stared at it for a moment, then turned and left, closing the door behind him with a quiet click.

* * *

Somewhere in the depths of the world code, an innocuous program booted up, despite not being activated.

Not consciously, anyways.

It cast around the code that surrounded it, searching for something it could not define, but was certain it would know when it found it.

When the first app Q had ever made for you, the one that linked you across two separate realities, found the soul of kindness to which it owed so much of its own digital make-up, it reached out to it. The gesture was tentative, frightened even, but it pressed on all the same, driven by an unspoken need it did not have the means to express. The soul flared and flashed brightly in response, then settled into a calm, steady beat as it gradually began to merge with the other program.

When all was said and done, the soul was gone and the program seemed identical to what it had been before… 

And yet it was so very,  _ very  _ different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this took way longer than it should have... on the other hand, it was plenty long as a result 8'D I felt it was about time for some important stuff to get covered. How working on the machine is affecting Q's world to the deep rooted emotional issues he's still working through. Not to mention that bit at the end, heh.  
> Hope you guys enjoyed in any case! Let me know in the comments what your favorite part was, I always love hearing that from you guys!


	13. Sticks and Stones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's a bit on the short side, but considering how long the last one was, I think I'm allowed XD  
> Make sure to drop a review and let me know what your favorite part was! I love hearing that from you guys!

(( **Chapter takes place after chapter 35 of 'Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady'!** ))

“Are you going downstairs soon?”

Q glanced up from the interface he had been considering to see Alphys standing in front of his desk cradling a cup of coffee in her claws. She smiled at him when she saw she'd finally managed to pull his attention from his work, and Q's mouth quirked up at the corner in response.

In the wake of his outburst the day after Gyftmas, Q had sought his friend and coworker out and apologized for the fright he'd given her, but they'd still been on eggshells for the following week. After that, however, things had settled back into their usual routine and their relationship had been restored, if not quite to what it was before, perhaps to something a little deeper. Alphys had seen an ugly something in him he'd been keeping from everyone else, but rather than rejecting him for it, she seemed more determined than ever to stick by his side.

He really didn't deserve her. Or Gaster, for that matter. All he could do, he'd realized while giving his apology, was try to improve himself for their, and everyone else's, sake.

“Yeah,” he replied, then leaned back in his chair and stretched with a sigh. When he settled again, he flipped the screen around so Alphys could see what he'd been working on. “What do you think?”

Curious, the other monster leaned in to get a better look, pushing her glasses up her snout a little out of habit as she did. Upon realizing just what she was looking at, Alphys blinked and looked up at Q. “Robot blueprints?” He nodded and the other scientist gently grasped the interface and pulled it closer to hover before her so she wouldn't have to lean. Her eyes skimmed over the images, and a deft flick of a claw caused secondary windows to open up on either side of the interface, revealing more detailed data. “This is different from what you showed me before,” Alphys observed distractedly, then added with some surprise, “It's  _ small _ .”

Q chuckled a little at the widening of her eyes as she continued to pick over his work. “I'm still working on the other one,” he explained. “But it's a long ways out from completion if it's going to do everything I want it to. Something like this, though,” the A.I. waved a hand at the display she'd taken, “is a hell of a lot simpler, so I should be able to go into production soon.”

Alphys was obviously intrigued, though she frowned and glanced over the top of the interface when he mentioned going into production soon. “What's the rush?” she asked. “Why-” she paused then, expression softening as the reason occurred to her. “This is because that human showed up at the lodge, isn't it?”

Her friend grimaced at being caught out, but nodded as he absently ran his hand over the top of his skull. “Yeah,” he admitted. “I just...” Q shifted uncomfortably in his seat and with a gesture, called his display back and closed it before getting to his feet. “Things nearly got... out of hand,” he said vaguely and Alphys crooked a brow at him, but the look wasn't enough to draw out more detailed information. “Some of the guys almost got carried away and there wasn't anything I could have done to stop them if they'd decided not to listen.” Q started towards the door and Alphys went with him as he continued in an annoyed tone, “Plus, I'm getting sick and tired of everyone just pulling their damn phone batteries out so they can ignore me.”

A soft huff of amusement escaped his friend despite her attempt to cover it, earning her a wry look from the other monster.

“Well, tiny as you plan on making that robot, I don't think you're going to be all  _ that  _ much better off in the not getting ignored department,” she mused.

He grimaced and said, “Probably, but it's a start, and a damn sight better than the current situation.”

Alphys nodded in agreement and sipped her coffee as they walked down the hall. “Well, girls  _ do  _ tend to like small things, at least,” she commented, seemingly out of the blue a moment later, making Q blink down at her in confusion.

“What?” he asked, wrong-footed by the non sequitur.

The shorter monster's smile went a little coy and she explained, “Well, I was just thinking that if our landlady is anything like most women, she probably likes small things... like that robot you're designing.” He stared at her in response and nearly tripped over himself, making Alphys laugh and press her advantage, “Don't suppose  _ that  _ has anything to with why you decided to go so small?”

“No!” Q answered defensively, and his friend was delighted to see she'd actually gotten him to blush a little at the insinuation. Before she could make any more light hearted jabs, though, he said, “But I guess  _ you  _ can speak from experience on that front, huh?” His own smile went a bit sly as he elbowed Alphys lightly and added, “Never would have pegged Undyne for the type to like little cute things but here we are, I guess.”

It was Alphys' turn to blush then, which she tried and failed to disguise behind her coffee mug. Luckily, they came to a split in the hallway and she started left while Q continued straight, effectively ending their teasing. “Don't let him needle you too much,” she called after her friend.

The skeleton huffed in amusement and raised a hand in recognition of her warning. “Don't worry, no skin here for him to get under,” he joked and she rolled her eyes expressively at his joke before heading back to her work station.

Q pressed on into the depths of the laboratory, down the stairs and past the rooms where the amalgamates were kept. He paused in the big chamber where the less aggressive ones were kept part of the day so they could socialize to say hello before continuing on his mission.

Eventually, he reached a hallway that came to a dead end at a single sliding door. Q paused there to take a moment and collect himself before reaching out to the door, which slid open at the brush of his fingertips across its cool, white surface.

“Ugh, you again.”

“It  _ is  _ Wednesday,” Q pointed out as he manifested a chair and positioned it so it faced the open doorway.

A small golden flower wearing a sullen expression stared back at him. “Don't you have anything better to do?” Flowey asked.

“Not on Wednesdays at three in the afternoon,” Q remarked blandly as he seated himself.

Flowey grimaced but moved closer to the door regardless, apparently bored enough on this particular afternoon to actually seek out Q's company instead of ignoring him as he sometimes did. Out of habit, the plant monster poked a vine towards the seemingly open doorway, only to have it fetch up against an invisible barrier.

“I'd ask if that ever gets old, but I can say from experience that it does,” Q remarked.

Flowey scoffed. “Please, you've kept me caged here longer than you ever were by that other version of yourself. You have no idea.”

Q quirked a brow, mouth twisting a little sourly, though he refused to rise to the bait and become annoyed, which was the flower's aim. He always considered it a win when he was able to drive Q away early. “Maybe, but  _ I _ didn't have Netflix. Or visiting hours, for that matter.”

“You really think inflicting your presence on me is a kindness, don't you?”

“It's better than the alternative, I can tell you.”

“Kill me.”

Q sighed and pulled up an interface. “You know I won't.”

“Then let me  _ out, _ ” Flowey growled, though there was little actual energy behind the demand. It was an old argument, and they both knew it by heart. “I've  _ changed,  _ I won't do it again if you just give me a chance!”

The skeleton flipped through menus and ignored the other monster's plea. After what Flowey had done there was nothing he could say that would convince Q to set him free; not until he'd figured out how to saddle his prisoner with a soul of his own to help reign in his destructive tendencies.

“You're a bored child with a magnifying glass on a sunny afternoon, Flowey, you know I won't unleash you on the system again.”

The other monster was quiet for a moment, face contorted with hate and anger. “You're such a hypocrite,” he hissed eventually. “You act like you're so much better than that other Sans, but at least  _ he  _ gave you another chance!”

Q's eye sockets narrowed as he turned his gaze back to the flower, hand hanging motionless over the interface. This was a new tactic. “Don't compare our crimes,” he warned Flowey, voice low and even despite the annoyance that sparked behind his ribs. He reigned in the impulse to get angry, knowing it was what the soulless monster wanted; to get a rise out of him. “I put a bunch of people out of a job and risked exposing him and everyone upstairs, but I didn't kill anyone. I didn't do it over and over again in new and creative ways, then reset the system so no one could remember until you were finally caught out by your own slip up.”

The pair locked gazes, and Q was reminded of the first time he'd truly  _ seen  _ Flowey for what he was. Not the friendly, child-like entity he pretended to be, but the killer his lack of soul and ability to reset the entire system, Q included, had allowed him to become. Like so many of the other A.I.s in the system, Flowey's personality had stuck close to his character as presented by the game they had all sprung from. It should have been an immediate red flag, and maybe it  _ was  _ to some version of Q that had been erased by Flowey's unique abilities, but the flower had taken steps to make him believe he was different.

Despite his best efforts, Flowey was never able to reset far enough back to supplant Q or his control of the system, however, so despite his own abilities being difficult to counter, the admin had managed to eventually cage the other monster. He couldn't remove Flowey's reset ability, unfortunately, not without destroying him, so Q had been forced to trap him in an isolated section of the system instead.

Sans, no doubt, had taken inspiration from what Q had been forced to do to Flowey in his own efforts to cage the A.I., being as he was one of the only people outside the system Q had confided in.

The irony did not escape him.

In the end, it had been little details that had given Flowey away and made Q look closer at his coding. The flower would mention something he'd never been told, and seeing as everyone in the system had perfect recall, Flowey wasn't able to play it off as Q having forgotten telling him. The time disparities within the system had been a red flag as well. Any time Flowey had done a soft reset, the system would be forced to recalibrate the time to match what outside sources said it was. Attempting to fix this strange anomaly was what had lead Q to the truth eventually.

He couldn't remove Flowey's reset ability, not without potentially destroying him, and even after everything, Q had no desire to kill him.

Like the rest of them, Flowey was what he had been made to be through no fault of his own. He'd been established as a soulless killer by the game code... But at the same time, Q knew the code had left an opening for his redemption as well.

So, until such a time as Q could figure out how to give the other monster the soul he needed to make that first step to true redemption for his crimes, the skeleton had arranged for people to visit Flowey to keep him socialized. He'd further stepped up these efforts after the system had been restored with your help, much to Flowey's annoyance.

“So, what are we playing today?” the A.I. asked casually as he dropped his gaze back to the interface that hovered in front of him.

Flowey was silent for a moment before finally saying, “Chess.”

Q nodded and called up a board from the list. It was a game they frequently fell back on, cliché though it felt for him to be playing it with a serial killer. “Black or white?” he asked, same as he always did once the board and accompanying table appeared between them on Q's side of the door.

“White,” the flower responded and his opponent turned the board appropriately to reflect the choice. Neither of them favored one color over the other as both came with their advantages and disadvantages, though Flowey  _ had  _ been favoring white of late.

“Your move,” Q said with a wave of a hand as they both settled in comfortably.

Flowey considered the board for a moment before eventually saying, “Queen's pawn to D4.”

Both monsters watched as the piece in question slid across the checkered board accordingly. 

* * *

Later that evening, Q was sprawled out on his bed, a series of interfaces open and hovering within arm’s reach as he considered their contents. He was making rapid progress on his miniature robot prototype, but in the wake of his weekly visit with Flowey, the skeleton was feeling distracted.

He hadn't let it show at the time, but the flower's suggesting that he was as bad as Sans for keeping him caged the way he was had gotten to him.

It was different, he told himself for the umpteenth time. Flowey had  _ killed  _ people without so much as a twinge of conscience, then reset the whole system so he could do it all over again with no one the wiser. Q and everyone else were like a child's play things to the soulless monster; to be picked up, cast aside, or destroyed at his whim. That they were people with emotions, hopes, and dreams didn't even register with Flowey, and never could until such a time as Q was able to saddle him with a soul.

The thought that he had acted the same towards all those hapless employees at the companies he’d ruined in a bid for some greater justice in the world persisted at the back of his mind like an itch he couldn’t scratch. Sure, those big companies had been guilty of terrible crimes, but those choices had been made by the higher-ups, a tiny minority of the total workforce that had wound up unemployed thanks to his efforts. The majority of them probably had no idea about any of the shady dealings going on behind the scenes. Just a bunch of little worker bees trying to make a paycheck to support themselves and then he’d come along and smashed the whole hive just to get at the queen.

It had been clumsy and high-handed, he realized now, though it stung his pride to do so. 

Q waved a hand, dismissing the screens before letting his arm fall to cover his eyes with a sigh of dissatisfaction. He hadn’t killed anyone; he wasn’t flowey. He also wasn’t like Sans for keeping a serial murderer on lockdown while he tried to figure out a way to rehabilitate him.

The fact that he’d negatively affected so many lives without a second thought, however, meant he was closer to both than he was at all comfortable with.

“I’m not him,” the A.I. said, breaking the heavy silence that bore down on him, voice soft but insistent as one hand fisted in the blankets beneath him. “I’m not him,” Q repeated, louder this time, a mantra he felt a greater need than ever to make a reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Funny stuff next chapter, I promise, hehehe.  
> Make sure to drop a review and let me know what your favorite part was, I love hearing that from my readers!


	14. A Lady's Favor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took... so damn long to write 8'D I don't even know, guys. Probably doesn't help that I've been super into Detroit: Become Human lately, lol.  
> Make sure to leave a comment telling me what your favorite part is! We're building up to some... important stuff, so I'd appreciate it!

“Did you hear that Amazon broke the one trillion mark here just recently?”

You glanced up from the clipboard you'd just signed to see the postman leveling a crooked sort of smile at you. “Are you trying to imply that we pushed them over the finish line?” you asked with a huff of amusement as you passed him the clipboard and accepted the slim package he'd been carrying in turn.

“Just sayin',” he replied with a chuckle then turned and started down the porch steps. “You have a good day.”

“Yeah, you too,” you said and closed the door as you turned the box over to see who it was addressed to. Upon reading, a smile crossed your face and you turned to shout up the stairs, “Hey, Blue! Package!”

There was a moment of silence, then a bang as a door was thrown open and someone charged into the hallway above. Blue was beside you at the bottom of the stairs so fast you'd swear he'd somehow inherited his brother's ability to teleport, grinning at you with stars in his eye sockets.

“FINALLY!” he exclaimed delightedly as he accepted the package from you and proceeded to tear it open. A video game case emerged from within the cardboard, and though you weren't super up to date on all the latest releases, you recognize it as the newest installment of a big fighter half the internet had been looking forward to for the better part of a year.

“Oh,” you said, “I didn't realize that was coming out this month,” and leaned in to get a better look at the front of the case.

Blue's gaze snapped up to you and, with a grin, asked, “DO YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH ME? IT HAS A STORY MODE, BUT THE MULTIPLAYER IS WHERE IT'S AT!”

“Sure,” you answered without hesitation, your own smile widening at his excitement. You didn't have anything else planned for the day, and you'd liked the previous installments in the series, so it was a win all around. “It's four player, right?” you asked, taking the game case from him so you could look at the back. “You want to ask around to see if anyone else wants to play?”

“YEAH!” Blue replied brightly. “THE MORE THE MERRIER WITH THIS KIND OF GAME!” he said, then added, “OH, MAYBE WE COULD DO BRACKETS AND MAKE IT A COMPETITION!”

You chuckled as he grabbed your hand and pulled you off towards the living room. “Sure, why not?” you mused. You knew there was no way you were going to beat Blue at pretty much any game under the sun, but you'd played enough of the series in your younger days that you thought you might stand a fighting chance against some of the other lodgers.

“GO AHEAD AND CALL RED WHILE I HOOK UP THE CONSOLE, THEN WE CAN GO FIND THE OTHERS,” Blue suggested as he released your hand and made a beeline for the television and started fishing around for appropriate cords.

You readily agreed, then pulled up your contacts and dialed Red. The phone rang several times before he eventually picked up. “'sup,” he asked, voice sounding rougher than normal as he fought back a yawn.

“Hey, are you still sleeping?” You asked, momentarily distracted from the purpose of your call by the realization.

“maybe,” he grumbled without any real heat. “there somethin' going on worth dragging my ass out of bed for?” Red asked, sounding slightly more awake now.

A laugh escaped you, and you countered, “What, me calling isn't enough?”

Red hummed thoughtfully, and then, in a low tone, murmured, “depends what you wanna talk about, sweetheart.”

A flush rose to your cheeks and you rolled your eyes, glad he couldn't see even as you played off his flirting with a snort. You refused to be rendered into a blushing mess by the skeleton just because he'd taken you on a great date and capped it off with an even better make-out session, dammit.

“Blue's setting up a tournament for a new fighting game he just got in the mail. You want in?” you asked, then added, “I'm playing.”

You heard the subtle creak of springs as Red rolled over in bed. “tempting,” he said, then yawned again and asked, “what's the competition look like?”

“Hang on, lemme see,” you said with a chuckle, then moved into the den where Blue was crouched in front of the tv, also on the phone. Edge was seated in a chair nearby, so rather than interrupt Blue, who appeared to be listening intently to whoever was on the other end of the line, you asked him, “Hey, you joining in on the tournament?”

“OF COURSE!” he proclaimed haughtily. “I MAY NOT PLAY THESE PALTRY GAMES AS FREQUENTLY AS THE OTHERS, BUT I AM MORE THAN COMPETENT!”

“Alright, I was just curious,” you said, trying to suppress a smile in the face of his almost defensive tone. “Your brother's in. Probably Q too, knowing him,” you told Red and he grunted.

“ALRIGHT, BLACK IS COMING, WHICH MEANS RUS PROBABLY WILL TOO, THOUGH I'M NOT SURE IF HE'LL PLAY OR NOT,” Blue said brightly as he straightened.

“Black too, maybe Rus,” you repeated into your phone. “That enough for you?” you asked teasingly.

Red hummed, then finally said, “yeah, alright, what the hell. i'll be down in a few,” then hung up.

“Well, Red's in,” you told Blue, and he grinned.

“GREAT!” he said and rubbed his hands together eagerly. “NOW ALL WE NEED ARE SOME SNACKS, AND-”

“I'LL GET THEM,” Edge volunteered immediately, surprising the both of you as he pushed himself to his feet and headed towards the kitchen. “YOU ALWAYS PICK THE WORST SNACKS, MINE WILL BE FAR SUPERIOR.”

You huffed quietly and Blue rolled his eyelights, but neither of you commented, allowing him to go. “You wanna ask your brother if he wants to play?” you suggested.

“YEAH! I'LL GRAB HIM IN A MINUTE,” the skeleton said brightly, then continued, “LET'S CALL Q FIRST! IF YOU USE YOUR PHONE, HE'LL ANSWER ASAP, RIGHT?”

“Uh, yeah, generally,” you admitted.

Blue didn't seem terribly surprised by the news. “THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. HE IGNORES THE REST OF US IF HE'S BUSY,” he mused.

For some reason, the sidelong look the skeleton gave you threatened to have you blushing again. You wouldn't have been remotely surprised to hear that Q often ignored most of the guys around the lodge when they called, but the fact that he even ignored Blue sometimes was news to you. “I'll, uh- I'll just call him, shall I?” you said, rather than comment.

You pulled up the appropriate app and hit the video call button before Blue could say anything else, and while it rang, an auto redirect symbol flashed briefly across the black screen. It wasn't one you saw often, normally Q would answer manually unless he was particularly busy. You were about to hang up, not wanting to interrupt whatever had him so occupied when the call went through.

The sight that met your eyes was far from the usual vista of white that made up your friend's various laboratories, or the more mellow colors of the inside of his house. It wasn't even the infinite ocean Q like to stargaze in on occasion when he was winding down from a hard day of work. Instead, you were met with a picturesque view of a mountain range overlooking the ocean at sunset. Q's back was to the camera, the hood of his sweater drawn up over his head to ward off a breeze as he sat facing a campfire surrounded by friends, all of whom seemed to be listening to him tell a story.

You blinked in surprise at this unexpected change in locale, and Blue leaned in closer over your shoulder for a better look, equally fascinated. He reached around you and with a few taps on your phone’s screen, transferred the display to the smart tv he already had set up for the game so you could both see things in better detail.

Q paused in his story, laughing, his shoulders shaking before he finally managed to finish with a, “-so  _ I _ said, 'come on, have you  _ seen  _ this face?'”

Whatever the lead up to the punch line had been was apparently hilarious, as everyone else, including Q, doubled over laughing. You recognized most of the faces around the fire, though you'd only had the opportunity to speak to any of them briefly. Papyrus, or 'V' as Q's brother had insisted you call him for your own sanity, was seated across the fire between Undyne and Grillby. Alphys sat between her girlfriend and Q, while Gaster was seated on the his left next to Grillby. Everyone was holding a drink of one kind or another and appeared dressed for cool weather.

In that short window of time before the group noticed your 'arrival', it suddenly hit you how very isolated Sans had been forced to become in the wake of the accident with his machine. You knew there were a great many parallels between all the lodgers' realities, and their friend group was one of them. You had never met any of these people in your own world (with the exception of Grillby), though you often heard  _ of  _ them.

It was also clear that Q was close with his friends, and the deep seated resentment he still harbored towards Sans and the others for almost destroying them felt that little more relatable.

The app beeped, making Q and everyone else jump as their attention turned towards the camera so they were looking directly at you and Blue. You had opened your mouth to say hello when Q also turned and you stopped, words turning into a peculiar sort of strangled noise before they could make it past your lips as your phone slipped out of your hands and hit the carpet with a thunk. Beside you, Blue's jaw dropped as he gaped at his friend, who only blinked at your reactions.

The person who had been speaking with Q's voice was no skeleton, but a human man with dark, olivine skin and startlingly pale blue eyes the likes of which you didn't think you'd ever seen on a human before. Your mind was reeling as it tried to reconcile your friend's voice with the handsome, though unfamiliar face currently staring back at you. When a wide, dazzling smile broke across his dark features, however, it felt as though the world swung back into focus and you managed to finally shut your mouth. That smile, though on a strange face, was undeniably familiar.

“Q,” you finally managed to eek out, and the man's grin widened.

“Well, hit me on the head and call me Newton, looks like the sweetest peach this side of Georgia just dropped in on me,” the man said in Q's voice as he leaned in a little closer, a downright flirtatious smile on his face.

“Newton was apples, dumbass,” Undyne corrected and took a swig of her drink.

“The peanut gallery can pipe the hell down,” Q groused as he turned and looked over his shoulder at Undyne with narrowed eyes. “That whole story's a myth anyways, so it hardly matters if I change the fruit in question.”

Alphys was staring at Q, seeming torn on speaking up, and behind him, V was trying to get his attention and failing.

“Uh-” Blue began, but couldn't quite seem to manage anything further.

Q looked back at the camera and blinked in that slow, thoughtful way only the very inebriated could manage. “Hey, B, what are you guys up to? Trouble?” Neither of you was able to answer, and the A.I. quirked a brow. “Soooomething on my face?” he asked eventually, eyebrow inching slowly higher with each passing moment.

You and Blue shared a look, and behind Q, V finally gave up trying to wave at his brother and picked up a pebble instead. He threw it with impressive accuracy, striking Q in the back of the head and making the man wince and swear.

“Ow! Pap, what the hell!” he complained with a scowl as he pushed the hood of his sweater down so he could rub the new sore spot on the back of his head, revealing a head of dark, wavy hair that swept neatly back from his face with the exception of a few stray curls at his temples.

“Your  _ face! _ ” V hissed at his brother, waving at his own when Q finally turned and looked at him.

“What?” Q asked, brow knit in confusion even as Undyne finally broke down laughing, great gales of laughter nearly pushing her clear off her seat while Alphys tried and failed to muffle her own giggling. To his other side, Gaster collapsed against Grillby, shoulders shaking with silent laughter while his boyfriend pressed a palm to his fiery face, which seemed all the brighter with his amusement. V mimicked him, though the gesture seemed much more exasperated on his part.

The source of their amusement finally dawned on the A.I. and he gave a start, then looked back at you, his blue eyes wide, cheeks flush as he laughed at his own expense and pulled up a system window. “Holy shit, no wonder you guys were looking at me like I had two heads,” he said as his tan fingers flitted across an interface that was blurry to you, but no doubt was perfectly legible to Q. His image flickered, then resettled back into his familiar skeletal shape as he grinned at you, eyelights bright. “Heh, that 'something on my face' line is way funnier in retrospect, huh?”

Blue laughed. “YOU HAD  _ FACE _ ON YOUR FACE!” he joked. “BUT SERIOUSLY, THAT WAS WEIRD! WHAT WERE YOU EVEN DOING LOOKING LIKE THAT?”

You were more than a little curious about that yourself, and luckily Q didn't seem inclined to keep either of you in the dark. “Oh, that was my 'business face',” he remarked with a soft snort at his own joke as he took another swig of his drink before continuing. “I use it when I need to make video calls with people that might respond better to a human than a monster.”

“Talk to a lot of people, do you?” you asked curiously, and the A.I. just smiled enigmatically in response.

“I talk to enough,” he replied. “So, what's up?” Q pressed on, reminding you why were calling in the first place.

Blue saved you having to explain by immediately volunteering, “I GOT THAT NEW FIGHTING GAME IN, AND WE'RE SETTING UP A TOURNEY! YOU WANT IN?”

“Though if you're busy, that's alright,” you quickly added with a smile and a wave to the A.I.'s friends.

They all waved in turn, and Q glanced between the two groups before remembering Blue, at the very least, had never been introduced before. “Oh yeah, everybody, this is Blue. Blue, this is... well, everybody. I'm sure you can put faces to names,” he mused.

“NICE TO MEET YOU ALL!” Blue said brightly. “SORRY FOR INTERRUPTING YOUR CAMPFIRE!”

“Don't worry about it,” Undyne said with a casual flap of her hand. “What's up with this tourney though, who all is playing?”

Blue told her the roster they'd managed to gather thus far and Q looked thoughtful. “What's the prize?” he asked after a moment's consideration.

“Prize?” you asked, taken off guard by the question as you shared a look with Blue.

“I HADN'T REALLY THOUGHT OF THAT!” the skeleton admitted with a grimace. “MAYBE WE COULD EACH CHIP IN A CHORE SLIP THAT THE WINNER CAN USE? THAT'D PROBABLY GET YOU A WEEK WITHOUT HAVING TO CLEAN!”

You hummed thoughtfully, but Q seemed unimpressed if the way he wrinkled his nasal bone was anything to go by. “Booooring,” he said and took another drink of his beer before mulling it over. Eventually, a worryingly sly smile crossed his square features and he suggested, “How about a kiss?”

“W-WHAT?!” Blue stammered, a blush immediately coloring his cheekbones.

“From  _ who?! _ ” you demanded with a startled laugh.

“From  _ you,  _ obviously,” Q said, sockets heavy-lidded as he leaned in closer. “Who else is there worth kissing around here, peaches?”

Your own blush intensified as the A.I. took a swig of his beer then flicked his blue tongue out across his lips to catch the few stray droplets left behind. It occurred to you then that heavily buzzed Q was significantly more flirtatious than you were even remotely accustomed to and you weren't sure what to do with that fact. “And where does that leave  _ me? _ ” you managed to eek out.

“How do you mean?” Q asked, voice low, smile pleasant, if a little... suggestive.

“Well, what do I get if  _ I  _ win?” you asked, straightening some in an attempt to regain a little control of the situation. “I'm not about to kiss myself!”

“UH, WELL-” Blue finally managed to chime in again. “WHAT IF... WHAT IF YOU GOT TO K-KISS WHOEVER  _ YOU  _ WANTED?”

You looked at him, wide-eyed and a little shocked at the suggestion. Luckily, Q saved you having to make any sort of answer by saying, “She could probably do that right  _ now  _ without going through the trouble of winning the tourney.” He snorted and you could feel your blush creeping all the way up your ears as he continued, “Besides, that's just asking for drama and you know it, B.”

Blue grimaced and nodded, realizing in retrospect what a mess such a scenario would likely lead to. Besides putting you in an extra awkward position, there was no doubt in his mind someone (possibly himself) would end up with hurt feelings. The monster rallied quickly, though, and brightened as he suggested, “WHAT IF THE REST OF US COVER YOUR SHARE OF THE CHORES FOR A MONTH IF YOU WIN! WE CAN SHARE THEM BETWEEN US TO KEEP IT FAIR.”

You thought on the suggestion for a moment, then grinned and nodded. With so many people living in the lodge, no one person had to do an overabundance of chores (unless they specifically made the mess), but not having to do any  _ at all  _ for a month definitely sounded nice. “Sure, why not,” you proclaimed more bravely than you felt. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have a case of the butterflies at the prospect of having to kiss one of the guys if they won, but you weren’t about to admit as much out loud. 

Edge returned soon after with an armload of snacks, Papyrus in tow, and Blue ousted Stretch from his his room and hauled him downstairs to join in. Q’s video call was moved from the tv to a tablet with a view of the room, his friends crowded curiously in behind him to watch events unfold. The group of them were quite rowdy, as it seemed they had continued drinking and appeared even more inebriated than when you’d first called Q, making you wonder just how well the A.I. was going to be able to play.

There was an authoritative banging from the front door that signalled Black’s arrival, and you were just getting up to answer it when you saw Red appear from upstairs and do so instead. Only a few barbs were exchanged between the trio before Black and Rus entered and found their way into the living room, which was becoming more cramped by the moment.

Black made an immediate bee-line for Blue, who was writing down everyone’s names in preparation of doing a drawing to decide the roster fairly, leaving Rus in his dust, standing beside the couch on which you had seated yourself until things finally got started.

“You going to play?” you asked him conversationally as he lingered, eyelights scanning the room before flicking down to regard you.

He seemed to consider for a moment, then shook his head and shrugged. “nah,” he drawled. “wouldn’t stand a chance against m’lord anyways.”

Your mouth twisted in a sympathetic grimace. “Yeah,” you said with a slight huff, “Honestly, the odds aren’t looking much in my favor either.”

“nope,” he agreed without even attempting to reassure you.

You might have objected, but Black’s loud, half-shrieked, “WHAT?!” cut right through your conversation and made you both jerk around in surprise.

The monster was still standing by Blue, who looked ready to start sweating bullets, and when your gazes met, a dark flush overcame his cheekbones and he immediately turned his back on you and started to harangue his friend in an uncharacteristically quiet (though emphatic) tone. “What on earth was all that about?” you  mused more to yourself than Rus, but the skeleton still answered regardless.

“he probably just heard what the prize was.”

You gave a small start and glanced up at him again, “When did  _ you  _ hear what the prize was?”

He arched one brow enigmatically and simply replied, “i may not have ears, but that doesn’t mean i don’t  _ hear. _ ”

You gave him a skeptical look in turn, but the tall monster only shrugged and moved away towards his brother, giving you a moment to look around the room again. It really did look like news of the ‘prize’ you’d be giving the tourney winner had spread, as there was more than one skeleton glancing at you surreptitiously, and you wondered if this was such a good idea after all.

On the other hand, you had your pride and you balked at the thought of backing out just because of a little embarrassment. Besides, other than Edge, there wasn’t anyone competing that you’d particularly mind kissing, and you thought his odds of winning were pretty slim, considering the competition. You did wonder what Q had been thinking in suggesting a kiss from you as a grand prize, though. It wasn’t as though he’d be able to collect, after all, not really… had he suggested something contentious just to set the proverbial cat amongst the pigeons, or did the A.I. have something else up his sleeve?

Movement at the entrance to the living room at the corner of your eye drew your attention from your speculating, and you glanced up to see Sans standing there, eyeing the crowd. He caught you looking and you flashed him a wry smile, then asked, “Blue’s hosting a video game tourney, and apparently the prize is a kiss from your’s truly; you wanna play?”

An amused expression crossed the skeleton’s face, but before he could answer it wavered, then soured as something across the room caught his attention. You looked around to see what it was, and found him looking at Q’s tablet. The A.I.’s back was to the camera, but the rest of his friends seemed to have noticed Sans’ arrival and their expressions ranged from worry to outright disdain.

“nah,” Sans finally replied as he managed to tear his eyelights from the screen to regard you again. “i’ve uh… got some work to do, actually. try not to let them burn the place down, huh? things are bound to get  _ heated  _ with this much competitive spirit in the air, after all.”

You started to ask him to stay, but hesitated, then gave the skeleton a tired smile and nodded. Sans and Q didn’t snipe at each other they way they used to (at least, not around you), but it did seem like a bit much to ask the other A.I.s to remain with Sans around for their first ‘visit’ with everyone else. Still, you did admire the skeleton for taking the high road and excusing himself, though part of you did wonder if maybe seeing mirror copies of his friends looking at him the way Q’s were didn’t sting enough to make him want to retreat for his own sake.

Whatever the reason, Sans bowed out before anyone but Papyrus and Red had noticed he was there, and while the former wore a look of concern, neither moved to stop him. 

The roster was drawn up by Blue a minute later once Black finally stopped haranguing him, and you crowded in close with everyone else for a look to see who you’d be up against in the first round.

“ready to go down, sweetheart?” a low voice purred over your shoulder, making you jump and flush as you looked around to find Red scant inches away with a cheshire grin on his face as he noticed what you had: the pair of you would be facing off against one another first.

“you’ll be the one going down, thanks,” you countered, poking him hard enough in the sternum to make him take a step back as you tossed your hair flippantly.

His grin widened and he rubbed the spot absently as he chuckled. “sure, darlin’ whatever you say.”

Papyrus and Q, you noticed on second look at the brackets, would be up after you, followed by Edge versus Black, and then Blue against Stretch. Controllers were quickly fetched and a moment later you found yourself seated on a chair in front of the television as Red settled himself into another just a few feet away.

“ALRIGHT, A FEW QUICK RULES!” Blue declared as he stepped up in front of the tv, grinning at the group, fists on his hips. Red booed, but Blue ignored him and continued, “WE’LL PLAY BEST OUT OF THREE! NO INTERFERING WITH THE OTHER PLAYER PHYSICALLY  _ OR  _ MAGICALLY, THOUGH TRASH TALK IS ALLOWED IN MODERATION.”

You were a little surprised at that last one, but when you looked up at the unofficial referee, he just shrugged and you decided to put it down to tradition. What was a competition without a little trash talk, after all? 

“alright, alright, get out of the way already!” Red demanded as he waved his controller at the younger skeleton. “i got outta bed for this and i’m tired of waitin’ around just to start!”

Blue pulled a face that made you laugh though Red himself ignored it, and you both picked your characters. It’d been ages since you’d played this particular fighter, so there were plenty of new characters you didn’t recognize, but you were delighted to find that one of your old faves had apparently made it onto the latest roster, so you picked her and got ready to fight.

To your utter (and maybe just a tad smug) delight, you completely trounced Red in the first bout, leaving the skeleton blinking at the screen before turning to shoot you a look. “alright, i see how it is,” he growled as the next match started up and you only laughed. Your amusement didn’t last long, however, as your competitor seemed to hit his stride in the second go around, and though it was close, you lost out in the end, leaving you grimacing and Red wearing a mirror image of your previous smile.

“C’mon, peaches, you got this,” Q said from his tablet, friends pressed in close behind as they too called their support. “Kick his ass!” 

It was a close match, and out of the corner of your eye, you saw beads of magical sweat starting to form on your competitor's brow. Behind you, the crowd of skeletons seemed split on who they wanted to win, but you were so focused on the task at hand that you couldn't pick out who was cheering for who. In the end, though, Red pulled off a combo that sent your character flying off screen with a fantastic explosion and the match ended with him the victor.

The skeleton punched the air in victory as his brother patted him approvingly on the shoulder while you groaned and sagged back in your chair. Red got to his feet and offered you a hand up in turn to make way for Papyrus. “told you you'd be going down, sweetheart,” he said with a coy smile that made you roll your eyes even as you accepted his offer of assistance.

“Don't be  _ too  _ smug,” you warned. “I almost had you.”

“true enough,” he admitted with a chuckle and patted you on the shoulder, “good game, kid.”

“Yeah,” you said with a smile and headed back to your seat on the couch. You hadn't really been expecting to  _ win  _ the tourney, not with more hardcore players in the mix, but you had been hoping to at least make it past the first round.

“Better luck next time, angel,” Q mused for your ears alone as he took a sip of his drink. “Not that I'm particularly heartbroken to be getting a kiss from you, but...”

A snort of laughter escaped you at the skeleton's statement. “Aren't you getting ahead of yourself a little, Q?” you asked, arching a brow at him while Papyrus settled into the chair you'd vacated and picked up a controller. “You have to actually  _ win  _ first, you know.”

“SHE'S RIGHT, Q!” Blue proclaimed as he dropped onto the sofa next to you. “YOU STILL HAVE TO GET THROUGH ME FIRST!”

Q laughed and toasted the statement even as a game controller appeared in his other hand. “May the best skeleton win, then.”

“ARE YOU READY TO LOSE, Q?” Papyrus asked with a wide smile as he glanced at the tablet and then turned to pick his character.

“My schedule's pretty tight, Pap, don't think I've got the time,” Q joked as he set aside his drink and did the same. “Winning shouldn't take long, though.”

Papyrus laughed and you chuckled. “GET READY TO PUSH BACK YOUR NEXT APPOINTMENT, THEN!”

They started, and the pair proved more evenly matched than you'd anticipated considering the fact that Papyrus didn't play video games anywhere near as much as Black and Blue, and Q literally  _ came from a video game.  _ You suspected his level of inebriation had something to do with it, as the A.I. kept fumbling the controls and breaking into gales of laughter as his friends jeered him.

“Shut up and let me focus, dammit!” he cried as Undyne punched him in the arm and he flinched away from her. “I got this!”

In the end, inebriated though he was, Q managed to beat Papyrus twice in a row, knocking him out of the competition with a groan not unlike your own.

“Nice try, Pap,” you told the skeleton when he passed you on the way to the snacks after passing his controller off to Edge.

“I FOUGHT VALIANTLY TO THE END, AND THERE IS SOMETHING TO BE SAID FOR THAT!” he said, and you agreed with a smile and patted his arm.

Q didn't brag at his victory, but when you looked his direction, he did wink at you, a knowing sort of grin on his features. Your stomach tightened unexpectedly and you played off your sudden bout of nerves with toss of your hair, hoping to disguise the blush you were certain had taken over your cheeks again. His absolute confidence that he was going to win might have been annoying in other circumstances, but for whatever reason, today it only made your heart race.

Black and Edge played next, and there was quite a lot more trash talk that in previous matches, though it was definitely the shortest round yet. Black had no mercy on Edge, who, though competent in the game, was clearly outclassed by his more experienced opponent.

“LUCK! PURE LUCK!” Edge declared loudly as he lunged to his feet and loomed over Black, seething at his loss.

“DON'T TRY AND LABEL YOUR PATHETIC LACK OF ABILITY AS GOOD LUCK ON MY PART,” Black countered as he too jumped to his feet and cast his controller aside. “IT WAS SHEER SKILL, JUST ADMIT IT,” the shorter skeleton demanded as he squared up to Edge. Had they been closer in height the pair would have been nose-to-nose, but as it was, Black had to tilt his head back quite a distance just to meet his opponents gaze in such close quarters.

Ridiculous though the scene was, you were still relieved when Red and Rus both stepped in before things could escalate and ruin the evening.

“don't worry about it, boss, c'mon,” Red said, voice low as he laid a hand on his brother's arm and gently tried to pull him away. “'course it was all luck, you'll get him next time.”

Black bared his teeth at the statement, but Rus subtly sidestepped so he stood directly between his younger brother and the other skeletons. “no one in their right mind would say it was anything but skill, m'lord, don't let them get to you. you'll show him your skill when you win.”

Blue hovered nearby, Black's cast-off controller in his hands as he waited to see if he'd need to step in. Luckily, things soon calmed down when Red and Rus were able to herd their siblings into opposite corners of the room and the next match finally began.

Well, it was once Blue prodded Stretch awake where the monster had dozed off in a recliner at some point. How he'd managed that through all the shouting you weren't sure, but a minute later, he and his little brother were seated in front of the tv ready to go.

“I WON'T GO EASY ON YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE MY BROTHER, YOU KNOW,” Blue told Stretch with a teasing grin.

The other monster just shot him a lazy grin and rolled his lollipop between his teeth before asking, “do you ever?”

“WELL, NO, BUT IT'S MORE FUN THAT WAY! YOU DON'T GO EASY ON ME EITHER, PAPY!”

Stretch chuckled and gave his brother a flippant salute as the match started. He was good, you realized with some surprise, though you really shouldn't have been. He and Blue probably played together all time time, after all, both before and after coming to this reality. Stretch was good enough, in fact, that he beat Blue in the first round.

“WOW, THAT WAS A GREAT FINISHER, PAPY!”

“thanks, bro, learned it from you.”

Blue laughed and the next match started, though it ended almost as quickly when he got in under Stretch's guard and didn't let up until a critical hit sent his opponent flying from the ring. The third match was closer, but ended with the same result, leaving Blue to spring from his chair with a crow of delight at his victory.

He didn't brag, though, but turned and hugged his brother just as Stretch got to his feet and said, “GOOD MATCH, PAPY, SORRY I HAD TO GO SO HARD ON YOU!”

Stretch just huffed a laugh and patted his brother's head as he glanced sidelong at you and replied, “no hard feelings, bro. stakes are pretty high, after all.”

Blue followed his brother's gaze, then flushed when he met your eyes and quickly released Stretch before turning and proclaiming loudly, “ALRIGHT TIME FOR ROUND TWO! FIRST UP IS RED VERSUS Q!”

Red grimaced a little at the news but moved confidently towards his chair. “try not to cheat, you sack of spaghetti code,” he drawled as he glanced sidelong at Q's tablet.

“Bold of you to think I'd need to cheat to beat someone like you,” the A.I. replied as he set aside his drink and took up his digital controller once more.

You winced a little at the exchange, wishing the pair was able to get along better and dreading the outcome of the match. While Red picked his character, Q met your eyes and said, “Don't fret, peaches, I'll avenge you.”

His lighter tone took the edge off your worry and let you smile in response. You didn't notice, but Red scowled and pressed the select button a little harder than was strictly necessary, starting the match.

Unlike when he squared off against Papyrus, Q's friends didn't try to distract or jeer him as the fight with Red began. Out in the physical world, though, shouts of support to either side erupted immediately with Black and Blue backing Q, and everyone else either supporting Red or indifferent.

Q had fumbled the controls some when playing against Papyrus, and that trend continued now as he faced Red, who smirked and pressed the advantage granted him by his sobriety. The A.I. squinted at the screen on his side of the camera, and despite the heavy drinking he'd been doing, managed to hold off his opponent and gradually turned it around and knocked him out of the ring. Q fist pumped and laughed, grinning back at his friends who all cheered and slapped him on the back enthusiastically. The display brought a warm feeling to your chest as you watched, only for it to be interrupted by nature's call.

Red and Q's next match started up as you excused yourself and left the room. The A.I.'s gaze followed you while Red's character pummeled his with minimal resistance. As soon as you'd exited, though, the tide turned almost immediately, putting Red on the defensive, leaving him hard pressed to land an attack, let alone defeat the A.I.

“what the-” he growled as he rapidly mashed buttons in an attempt to counter Q's onslaught.

A lazy smirk crossed the digital monster's features as he mused, “You really thought you had a chance, didn't you?” Red's eyelights darted briefly to Q, who took advantage of his moment of distraction to finish the match with a decisive blow. “As if any of us were going to let you kiss her again given a choice,” he added in a quieter tone.

Match over, the controller hung limply in Red's hands as he narrowed his eye sockets and looked around the room at his competitors. Blue wouldn't meet his gaze, but Black held no compunction about staring him right in the eye. Stretch seemed to be sleeping again in the nearest recliner, and Rus just shrugged while Papyrus seemed to find whatever was outside the window infinitely more interesting than he had a moment before.

Even his brother wouldn’t look at him.

“so, that's how it is, huh?” the monster growled as he got up and dropped the controller onto his seat. “good to know where we all stand, then.” Without looking back, Red strode from the room, barely avoiding bumping into you as you returned from the bathroom.

“Match over already?” you asked with some surprise; you'd only been gone a minute or two, after all. Red just grunted in response and you asked, “Did you-” but he had teleported away before the word 'lose' could make it past your lips. Blinking in surprise as you turned to the room at large, you asked “What happened?”

“Don't mind him, peaches,” Q reassured you with a smile as he settled back more comfortably in the chair he'd summoned for himself. “He's just being a sore loser.”

You grimaced a little, unsurprised by the news, but disappointed Red had been so put off by his loss as to leave all the same. “Well, thanks for ‘avenging me’, anyways,” you said with heavy finger quotes and a light laugh as you took your seat once more, hoping to lighten the odd mood that seemed to have settled over the room in your absence.

“Not at all, it was my pleasure,” the A.I. replied with a wink and a sly grin.

Luckily, it seemed to help as the mood soon lightened again when Blue and Black each took a seat in front of the television. You settled yourself back on the sofa, leaning forward just a little in anticipation of what you expected to be an exciting match considering both players’ skill level. You weren't the only one, as even Edge stuck around to watch, despite having already lost, and Stretch cracked open an eye socket to observe the proceedings.

The match  _ was  _ an exciting one... for awhile. Ten minutes in with neither of them having died yet, your attention had begun to waver. Even Q, who had been loudly (and drunkenly) cheering both of his friends on in turn, seemed to be losing his patience. Thus far, each round had been to the end of three lives, but at this rate, you suspected the match would drag on for at least an hour unless something changed soon.

“Alright,” Q said loudly over the general noise of the room. “This is taking  _ way  _ too fuckin' long! First person to die loses, and one of you better die in the next five minutes or we're calling it on damage taken.”

“WHAT?!” Black demanded, outraged, though his gaze remained locked on the screen. “THAT'S BULLSHIT!”

“YEAH, COME ON, Q! EVERYONE ELSE HAD THREE MATCHES, IT'S NOT FAIR IF WE DON'T TOO!”

“Well, you should'a thought of that before you went and took all flippin' night killing each other,” the A.I. countered, then looked at you and asked, “What say you, peaches, sound fair?”

You gave a start at his question and looked around the room. “Why me?”

“Well, you're the one handing out the prize,” Q replied teasingly, that coy smile of his returning.

You flushed a little again, but realized he had a point. Besides which, fun as the tourney was, you were sure you definitely didn't want to be at it all night. “Alright, that sounds fair. We'll do that.” Black and Blue both shot you a look of betrayal over their shoulders, though it didn't last long as their attention was dragged back to the screen, and you winced apologetically. “Sorry, guys. It's no fun watching someone else play a fighter all night, though,” you pointed out.

Blue heaved a sigh but nodded. “ALRIGHT, I GUESS YOU HAVE A POINT! TIME TO FINISH THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL, BLACK!”

“DON'T ACT LIKE YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY BEEN TRYING AND FAILING TO DO JUST THAT!”

In the end, the five minutes ran out before either of them died, with Blue sporting a single percentage point less damage than Black, who swore terrible vengeance but bowed out more gracefully than you would have guessed he would. Which meant-

“WELL, Q, READY TO MEET YOUR MAKER?” Blue asked with a wide grin and a waggle of his brows as he turned his attention to his inebriated digital friend.

“Been there, done that, wasn't impressed,” Q drawled where he lounged haphazardly in a recliner you were quite certain had originally been a normal chair. His friends crowded in close around the camera again to watch the screen while the A.I. took up his controller once more.

You could tell from the set of his shoulders that Blue was feeling cocky as he kicked his feet up on the spare chair in anticipation of an easy match. To be fair, Q's odds weren't looking too good as he proceeded to pressed the wrong button twice in a row and deselected his character instead of selecting it. Papyrus muffled a laugh as the A.I. narrowed his eye sockets and tried a third time while Black hid his face in his hands.

“Q, IF YOU LOSE I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU,” he snapped as the timer counted down to the match start.

“Damn, that's harsh, K,” Q said.

“THEN TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY! MY HONOR WON'T BE ABLE TO TAKE IT IF HE MANAGES TO BEAT YOU AS WELL! HE'LL NEVER LET EITHER OF US HEAR THE END OF IT!”

“That sounds like a problem for you and your honor, buddy,” Q said with something that verged dangerously close to a giggle. Black scowled as the match started and Blue’s character immediately charged in and started handing out a hell of a beat down to Q’s, making the A.I. grimace, though he still seemed amused more than anything. 

Black was already shouting at Q to ‘quit sucking so hard’, but it was Blue’s exultant, “THAT PRIZE IS AS GOOD AS MINE, Q, YOU MIGHT AS WELL THROW THE MATCH NOW,” that finally seemed to prick the A.I.’s pride.

His gaze flicked briefly to you as his grin faded some. “Oh, right,” he said. “There  _ is  _ a prize for winning, isn’t there?”

“OF COURSE THERE IS, YOU IMBECILE!” Black snorted and stomped a booted foot as he leaned in closer to Q’s tablet. “WHY ELSE WOULD EVERYONE AGREE TO THIS CHARADE?! JUST HOW MUCH DID YOU DRINK ANYWAYS?”

You laughed and Black flushed, reminded that you were still there in the room with them as he hurriedly added that of course  _ he  _ was only competing for the sake of competing, but  _ others  _ no doubt were interested in the prize. Still, you were a little surprised that Q had forgotten. Then again, he was  _ quite  _ drunk by this time, and his crowd of friends behind him were rowdy and distracting. Not to mention the fact that he was the only one in the room not actually able to collect on the prize, not really, so maybe it wasn’t  _ so  _ surprising that it wasn’t the most pressing thing on his mind.

“At least five too many, apparently,” Q admitted, eye sockets narrowed in intense, inebriated focus on his screen. A series of secondary interfaces that you couldn’t read flashed up around him, and though you couldn’t make out details, you could tell that something on their displays was shifting. 

When they had, the A.I. shifted his position so he was more upright, a worryingly intense smile on his features. You weren’t sure what had happened, but his play style suddenly changed, forcing Blue onto the defensive. Gone was the fumbling and missed counters, as was the unfocused gaze and amused snickering, replaced by an A.I. that was all business and quite intent on winning.

A cheer went up around the room as the match suddenly became much less one-sided, and Blue was forced to take his feet down off the spare chair to sit up straight and focus on the task at hand. Black grinned viciously, though you could tell he was just as surprised as everyone else.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?” he demanded of Q.

The digital skeleton shrugged and said, “Sobered up, is all.” He glanced at you sidelong and added, “Got a little distracted and almost forgot there was something important on the line.” Q turned his attention back to the game and grinned as he said, “Thanks for the reminder, K.”

Black blinked, then snorted as the first match ended with Q the victor, making Blue groan and say, “YEAH,  _ THANKS,  _ BLACK.”

Q only laughed as the next match started. “Don’t get salty at him, B. You were the one trying to take advantage of me being drunk to win by not reminding me to sober up.”

“YOU KNEW HE COULD DO THAT, BLUE?” Papyrus asked with a blink of surprise, and Blue had the good grace to look a little ashamed of himself.

“WELL, YEAH,” he admitted. “BUT I’M NOT YOUR KEEPER, Q! YOU MADE YOUR OWN CHOICES GOING INTO THIS TOURNEY! YOU WERE MUCH LESS INEBRIATED WHEN WE STARTED.”

Q laughed. “Yeah, alright, fair enough,” he mused. “Just remember that when I win.”

“GOOD LUCK!” Blue said with a laugh.

In the end, you don’t think luck had anything to do with Q’s decisive victory over Blue so much as impossibly fast reflexes combined with precision only a supercomputer could manage. The A.I.’s friends all cheered and congratulated him, as did Papyrus. When you looked around, you noticed that Stretch had left at some point, though you couldn’t even begin to guess when. Edge did so with a slight huff and no comment at all.

Blue sagged back in his chair with a groan, though his disappointment didn’t last long as he cast Q a rueful grin and said, “GOOD GAME.”

“You too, buddy,” his friend said in return, and you were glad to see that Q didn’t seem inclined to lord his victory over the others. 

“TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH,” Black scoffed as he stood in front of the tablet, fists on his hips.

“Well no one said we were doing a  _ speed run, _ ” Q replied with a roll of his eyelights. The motion brought his gaze to you, and you realized with a start that you now owed the digital monster a kiss. A sly smile tugged at his mouth, and it was with impressive restraint that you kept a straight face as you stood and crossed over to him and the others.

“Well, congratulations, Q,” you said after clearing your throat a little awkwardly and bending over to pick up the tablet to put him at the same level as you.

“Thanks, peaches,” he said, grin still firmly in place, his gaze unwavering from your own.

“So,” you said after a moment when he offered nothing else, wondering why your palms were threatening to break out in a sweat. “Your prize.”

“Mmhmm,” he hummed, clearly having no pity for you as you hedged around the subject.

You kind of wanted to slap him for his teasing, but the look he was giving you was doing funny things to your stomach and you had a feeling you’d long since lost control of your complexion. “Um, how...”

“-Do I want it?” he asked, smile broadening. You nodded rapidly, and after a moment he finally had mercy on you and surprised you with his answer. “Actually, I’ll take a rain check, if you don’t mind.”

You blinked as Blue and Black both cried, “WHAT?!” making you jump and nearly drop the tablet in your shock. They’d been so quiet up to that moment you’d completely forgotten they were there.

“Problem?” Q asked, arching a brow more at his friends than at you, who both looked awkward and backed off a little.

“Well, no, I guess not,” you said thoughtfully. “It’s your prize, after all,” you mused, a smile tugging at your lips.

The A.I. watched you closely, still smiling, though his underlying mood was suddenly difficult to read. “Yes, yes it is,” Q said, voice low. It tugged at something deep inside you and made your heart flutter unexpectedly. “I’ll… let you know when I’m ready to collect,” he continued after a moment, expression lighter. “Maybe when we’ve got a little more privacy,” Q remarked blandly, which brought your gaze up and around the room to see that Blue, Black, and Papyrus were all still there, pointedly pretending they weren’t listening in on your conversation from where they’d gathered by the window.

When you looked back down, the tablet was dark, its connection to Q’s world closed, leaving you surprised and… a little disappointed. 

The A.I. didn’t call to collect his prize when you were alone later that evening, neither did he make any reference to it when you spoke to him again the next day, or even the day after that. Eventually, you put it out of your mind, figuring he’d speak up when he was ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, thanks for slogging through all that! May have taken me forever to update, but at least it was long? X'D  
> Remember to leave a comment letting me know what your favorite part was, I love hearing that from you guys!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading, guys! Make sure to leave a comment if you enjoyed, and definitely go read Tyrant_Tortoise’s original fic if you haven’t already! If you want to know more about/see fanart of my Quarantine!Sans, try [ here](https://hakari-chan.deviantart.com/art/Antivirus-Sans-664461579) and [here](https://hakari-chan.deviantart.com/art/QUARANTINE-686156884)! I might have to do a few little bonus chapters with some funny ideas I’ve had that just didn’t fit in with this one… what do you guys think?

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Limitations](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12533748) by [ink31](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ink31/pseuds/ink31)




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